Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/kids?

[kurrupt]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

Ok I am a 30 year old professional male. I'm in good athletic shape.. and dont' have any children.

I do not seriously date women with kids for several reasons:

• I am a spontaneous guy.. a woman with a child can't be spontaneous.
• I don't mind slutting the mother out....but I would hate to enter a childs life..and then be gone.
• Usually there is a baby's daddy in the mix to complicate shit
• I don't feel right come behind and taking care of (dealing with) another negroes offspring
• Most important to me.. when I decide to marry that right one.. I want us to experience the 1st child thing together.

My assumption is that when I have a conversation with a woman..and it gets to that point of "should we exchange numbers" if she say she have a kid........I tell her how NICELY how I feel about the kid issue.

So from a woman's perspective...why do I get the nasty looks and responses..from women that have children? Is it jealousy?

c/s I see em as jumpoffs only! I honestly cant take a woman with kids seriously.

 

[Robeson]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

You can have all the sex in the world and not have any kids, IF YOU TAKE PROPER RESPONSIBILITY. A man who is looking for a relationship/date and not just fuck looks at a woman who has kids (with the possible exception that they were conceived during marriage, but then that opens another can of worms as to why she got divorced) as someone who did not and, potentially, cannot take care of herself. No good-standing man wants a relationship with a woman who would allow herself to have unprotected sex outside of a marriage/long term relationship. It shows irresponsibility.
You can have sex without having kids. Causation doesn't mean correlation.

Okay, LD, really nothing I can add to this bit of wisdom. Please excuse my ignorance.

 

[Robeson]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

You are correct I do not have any kids. So that should be a very clear indication that I aint trying to deal with any right now. Of course as I get older it gets harder and harder to find chicks without kids. Hell its getting real difficult to find black women who are in shape, got good sense, with no children. So now I'm having to start giving chicks aged 23+ a chance... cuz, they are in better shape and have less potential to have all the kids & baggage. Here in Atlanta its very difficult to even be around other races........cuz ATL is segregated by choice. It so many black folks down here.. that most don't socialize with whites outside of work. There aren't too many mixed culture spots around here.

I'd have to look at the data (it's not been important to me, so I haven't), but my guess is after 25 there is a dropoff in childless black females. Now, if this were Italy you would hit the jackpot, cuz NONE of those chicks are having babies.

I hope it all works out. There are not many choices we have in this life, but who we hook up with is one of the most important ones we do.

 

[jucurious]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

c/s I see em as jumpoffs only! I honestly cant take a woman with kids seriously.

really?

so the fact that they have kids makes them a joke?

 

[Blunt]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

c/s I see em as jumpoffs only! I honestly cant take a woman with kids seriously.

So you have no problem with women feeling the same way about men (who are more likely to have kids with multiple females)?

Fact is that when women set these types of rules (based on prejudgement), whether it involves children, education, employment or attitude, men start crying about how hostile black women are and how they "won't give a brotha a break."

 

[Robeson]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

So you have no problem with women feeling the same way about men (who are more likely to have kids with multiple females)?

Fact is that when women set these types of rules (based on prejudgement), whether it involves children, education, employment or attitude, men start crying about how hostile black women are and how they "won't give a brotha a break."

Valid point, but isn't it apples and oranges? Aren't black men in a much more advantageous position to be that picky than a black woman? Wouldn't a black woman who had a "no kids" rule have a much lower chance of finding a mate?

 

[LeroyDibiase]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

really?

so the fact that they have kids makes them a joke?

I think he means the mental choice to have unprotected sex makes them irresponsible jokes.

 

[owl]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

You are correct I do not have any kids. So that should be a very clear indication that I aint trying to deal with any right now. Of course as I get older it gets harder and harder to find chicks without kids. Hell its getting real difficult to find black women who are in shape, got good sense, with no children. So now I'm having to start giving chicks aged 23+ a chance... cuz, they are in better shape and have less potential to have all the kids & baggage. Here in Atlanta its very difficult to even be around other races........cuz ATL is segregated by choice. It so many black folks down here.. that most don't socialize with whites outside of work. There aren't too many mixed culture spots around here.

Excuse my ignorant curiosity, but why are seeking mixed culture spots?

 

[Blunt]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

I think he means the mental choice to have unprotected sex makes them irresponsible jokes.

Who says they weren't married or seriously involved with their partners, who then proceeded to abandon them with the child (which is common in the black community, in particular)?

If women had these same "irresponsible sex" rules about men they'd have very few eligible partners.

This is just more silly "male supremacy" bullshit.

 

[Blunt]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

Valid point, but isn't it apples and oranges? Aren't black men in a much more advantageous position to be that picky than a black woman? Wouldn't a black woman who had a "no kids" rule have a much lower chance of finding a mate?

Sure, black women are usually the ones stuck with the kids, so they suffer the slings and arrows of such "rules," while the male runs wild. Of course, women could have a different set of "rules" that better apply to their situation, perhaps concerning matters like education, employment status, drug use and criminal record, ..etc. Past "errors in judgement" that would feel unfair and anger men if they were called on them before a relationship even had a chance to develop.

Fact is, it's far riskier for a woman to date a man with social issues than it is for a man to date a woman with kids.

 

[LeroyDibiase]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

Who says they weren't married or seriously involved with their partners, who then proceeded to abandon them with the child (which is common in the black community, in particular)?

If women had these same "irresponsible sex" rules about men they'd have very few eligible partners.

This is just more silly "male supremacy" bullshit.

If you read throughout the thread, I excluded marriage/long term relationships. Try again, Doc.

 

[shaddyvillethug]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

lol @ this niggu roberson.

 

[GET YOU HOT]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

Scenario: You empregnate a woman, "accidentally", what do you do now?

Say, she decides to have the child, against your will?

or

You meet someone and become involved, then you find out, the other one, is pregnant?



In most cases, this is where the unwanted/unplanned, pregnancies result, it's not your problem, right...?

 

[LeroyDibiase]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

Scenario: You empregnate a woman, "accidentally", what do you do now?

Say, she decides to have the child, against your will?

or

You meet someone and become involved, then you find out, the other one, is pregnant?



In most cases, this is where the unwanted/unplanned, pregnancies result, it's not your problem, right...?

If, in that INCREDIBLY RARE SCENARIO, there is a baby, you still must take care of it. Sex has risks, even if you strap up. If I'm wearing a bulletproof vest, I'm not gonna dare niggas to shoot me. But "accidental", i.e. where the condom breaks, are not even 2% of out of wedlock births. If you have unprotected sex with someone and get involved with another person, then you're still responsible for that child. But that's not the issue being discussed.

 

[DiamondDeuce]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

If, in that INCREDIBLY RARE SCENARIO, there is a baby, you still must take care of it. Sex has risks, even if you strap up. If I'm wearing a bulletproof vest, I'm not gonna dare niggas to shoot me. But "accidental", i.e. where the condom breaks, are not even 2% of out of wedlock births. If you have unprotected sex with someone and get involved with another person, then you're still responsible for that child. But that's not the issue being discussed.

This topic is getting of course...but I will indulge for a moment. I am 30 years old with no kids by choice...not by accident.

If a woman is divorced and has gets from her marriage, I understand that. To me that scenario is completely different then the single never married chick that has kid(s) from men that there was never any committed relationship.

Here in 2008 if a woman does not want to have children.......there are several ways for her not to. Hell I just saw this birth control commercial for this device they insert in a woman that can last up to 5 years and 99.99% effective. As a single man.... I still use condoms even if a woman tells me she is on birth control...because I can't just put my life solely in a woman's hands like that.

 

[GET YOU HOT]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

If, in that INCREDIBLY RARE SCENARIO, there is a baby, you still must take care of it. Sex has risks, even if you strap up. If I'm wearing a bulletproof vest, I'm not gonna dare niggas to shoot me. But "accidental", i.e. where the condom breaks, are not even 2% of out of wedlock births. If you have unprotected sex with someone and get involved with another person, then you're still responsible for that child. But that's not the issue being discussed.

Incredibly Extreme Scenario...?????

I laugh at thee...

Let him date who he wants, but don't misunderstand.

This has absolutely everything to do with the issue. In fact, the "accidents", I wasn't talking about condoms breaking or "slipping off", I'm talking about unprotected sex, lack of ownership/responsibility, it happens, it's rampant.


Enter religious beliefs, a broken heart or lack of funds for abortion. The fact that the parent(s), has not planned for the result>>>Is exactly, what creates this situation to begin with, ie. "Women with kids", helpless, widowed, assumed to be permiscuous, worthless, whatever the case, UNWED and out there to be victimized, worked hard, used, disrespected, blamed, laughed at, exploited and lied to. That is what single black mothers face.

 

[DiamondDeuce]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

Excuse my ignorant curiosity, but why are seeking mixed culture spots?

The reality (yes the statistical data supports) that black women are overwhelmingly overweight.........and are voluntary having kid(s) out of wedlock. Of course not ALL blackwomen........but it is difficult to find one that is physically active...and without children. So I would be foolish not to broaden by horizons to other cultures of women. Black folks make up 12% of the population so why limit myself? Race is not my MOST IMPORTANT criteria in mate selection.

 

[Rudey]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

Keep in mind that a lot of these women who are childless probably had multiple abortions.

I would feel more comfortable with a woman that has a child than a woman that has little respect for a human's life.

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

This topic is getting of course...but I will indulge for a moment. I am 30 years old with no kids by choice...not by accident.

If a woman is divorced and has gets from her marriage, I understand that. To me that scenario is completely different then the single never married chick that has kid(s) from men that there was never any committed relationship.

Here in 2008 if a woman does not want to have children.......there are several ways for her not to. Hell I just saw this birth control commercial for this device they insert in a woman that can last up to 5 years and 99.99% effective. As a single man.... I still use condoms even if a woman tells me she is on birth control...because I can't just put my life solely in a woman's hands like that.

You don't understand birth control is not the ultimate answer. It really can mess up a womans body,the 5 year birth control works in some women and not in others.

Keep in mind that a lot of these women who are childless probably had multiple abortions.

I would feel more comfortable with a woman that has a child than a woman that has little respect for a human's life.

How can you make such a general statement like that? Maybe the reason is that they want to wait to get married,make sure they are set in their career and their money is right. Not everyone is in a rush to have children and we shouldn't be faulted or have a man think we have been having abortions

 

[Rudey]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

How can you make such a general statement like that? Maybe the reason is that they want to wait to get married,make sure they are set in their career and their money is right. Not everyone is in a rush to have children and we shouldn't be faulted or have a man think we have been having abortions

lol @waiting to get married.

People put more effort towards making a career and not the same effort when it comes to making a family.

If my general statement didn't have any truth to it then you would have a point.

Sure a lot of women who are childless have one or two abortions.

 

[Robeson]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

Sure, black women are usually the ones stuck with the kids, so they suffer the slings and arrows of such "rules," while the male runs wild. Of course, women could have a different set of "rules" that better apply to their situation, perhaps concerning matters like education, employment status, drug use and criminal record, ..etc. Past "errors in judgement" that would feel unfair and anger men if they were called on them before a relationship even had a chance to develop.

Fact is, it's far riskier for a woman to date a man with social issues than it is for a man to date a woman with kids.

Absolutely fucking lucid (that means clear, LD). Like I said, bruh can fuck and date whom he chooses, but all need to understand that our "people" are in a mighty precarious (that means, shaky LD) situation. Or is THAT a manifestation (that means, awww fuck it) of my overblown sense of self importance also?

As the numbers dictate, stable black woman gets involved with fucked up asshole (I love the sisters on here that act like there is an inexhaustable supply of psychologically stable black men LOL); they mate and breed; he, as he had to eventually, nuts up; for her safety and sanity, she dips. Ergo, another well situated sister with a kid and no man. Why did she have a baby? Because fucked up asshole gave every indication of being a human-fuckiing-being.

 

[Robeson]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

The reality (yes the statistical data supports) that black women are overwhelmingly overweight.........and are voluntary having kid(s) out of wedlock. Of course not ALL blackwomen........but it is difficult to find one that is physically active...and without children. So I would be foolish not to broaden by horizons to other cultures of women. Black folks make up 12% of the population so why limit myself? Race is not my MOST IMPORTANT criteria in mate selection.

Dude, and I'm saying this with love, you may want to seriously look "outside of the race". I got a feeling you may get hurt if you run into the wrong black woman.

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

lol @waiting to get married.

People put more effort towards making a career and not the same effort when it comes to making a family.

If my general statement didn't have any truth to it then you would have a point.

Sure a lot of women who are childless have one or two abortions.

Whats funny about wanting to be married to someone before you have kids. Whether its true or not,you act like its a high percentage. Neither you or I know the circumstances of why certain woman don't have children right now. That was my point

 

[Rudey]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

Whats funny about wanting to be married to someone before you have kids. Whether its true or not,you act like its a high percentage. Neither you or I know the circumstances of why certain woman don't have children right now. That was my point

The high divorce rate.

You missed my point,circumstances don't matter, I was just stating that some childless women have abortions.

and yes the percentage is high, are you telling me that people are so responsible and taking precaution when it comes to sex? Come on!

No wonder women keep dumping their babies in garbage bin because maybe they feel like men view them as damage goods when they have kids.

 

[REMINGTON_BLACK]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

i wont take them serious, but I will fuck. Yeah your kids do come first, but when I cum I get to leave. peace

 

[Robeson]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

No wonder women keep dumping their babies in garbage bin because maybe they feel like men view them as damage goods when they have kids.

OUCH! Damn, cuz, kinda rough. Lot of truth in that, though. Am I missing something? Are we not as fucked up as I think we are? Is a 70% birthrate outside of marriage sustainable?

I'm just askin'

 

[Blunt]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

"Women with kids", helpless, widowed, assumed to be permiscuous, worthless, whatever the case, UNWED and out there to be victimized, worked hard, used, disrespected, blamed, laughed at, exploited and lied to. That is what single black mothers face.

But why don't the fathers face the same thing (as we know men are far more promiscious, reckless and certainly irresponsible after the birth)?

Men brag about their promsicuity day and night (see BGOL) and then shamelessly throw darts at the women who have to clean up their messes after them. This is the 21st century. Gotta finally get over the caveman mentality.

 

[melonpecan]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

Ok. I'm not going to say the right woman for you has kids...but I'm not going to say she doesn't either. Anyhoo, the realtionship should be about the two of you first. Her kid(s) should not be in the relationship until the two of you have been kicking it for a while. Should she tell you? Yes. Should you run? No. Should you run AFTER she shows how she deals with integrating her kids into a two minute relationship?

You be the judge.

 

[LeroyDibiase]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

Incredibly Extreme Scenario...?????

I laugh at thee...

Let him date who he wants, but don't misunderstand.

This has absolutely everything to do with the issue. In fact, the "accidents", I wasn't talking about condoms breaking or "slipping off", I'm talking about unprotected sex, lack of ownership/responsibility, it happens, it's rampant.

Oh ok, then those aren't accidents. That is purposefully done. You have unprotected sex, your risk of having children is exponentially higher. Those women I have no sympathy for. At all.

Enter religious beliefs, a broken heart or lack of funds for abortion. The fact that the parent(s), has not planned for the result>>>Is exactly, what creates this situation to begin with, ie. "Women with kids", helpless, widowed, assumed to be permiscuous, worthless, whatever the case, UNWED and out there to be victimized, worked hard, used, disrespected, blamed, laughed at, exploited and lied to. That is what single black mothers face.

Again, you know what you get into. If you take your life savings and go to the casino and bet on Black and lose, I won't feel sorry for you, you knew the risks.

 

[LeroyDibiase]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

lol @waiting to get married.

People put more effort towards making a career and not the same effort when it comes to making a family.

If my general statement didn't have any truth to it then you would have a point.

Sure a lot of women who are childless have one or two abortions.

A whaaaaaaaaa?

But why don't the fathers face the same thing (as we know men are far more promiscious, reckless and certainly irresponsible after the birth)?

Men brag about their promsicuity day and night (see BGOL) and then shamelessly throw darts at the women who have to clean up their messes after them. This is the 21st century. Gotta finally get over the caveman mentality.

Men are no better, but the tangible consequences are not as evident as they are in women (body changes, custody of children, etc). The main point is, if a man and a woman have the same amount of sex, the woman will be much more adversely affected because ultimately it's HER body that will deal with the repercussions and not the man. She'll also most likely be the sole caregiver of the child.

 

[glueguy]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

i wont take them serious, but I will fuck. Yeah your kids do come first, but when I cum I get to leave. peace

 

[voiceofthestreet]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

really?

so the fact that they have kids makes them a joke?

AWWWW SHIT THIS CAINT BE GOOD

 

[Maurice]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

Verse 2: Fresh Kid Ice
I'm the Peter Piper of the 1980's
Got a long hard dick for all of the ladies
I don't care if you got three babies
You can work the sitck in my Mercedes
If you wanna blow, just let me know
We can go backstage at the end of the show
I'll look at you, and you will look at me
With my dick in my hands as you fall to your knees
You know what to do, 'cause I won't say please
Just nibble on my dick like a rat does cheese!

 

[jucurious]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

dang

according to some of the comments in this thread a 26+ yr old woman is damned if she has kids out of wedlock and damned if she has them while married

just can't get a break huh?

and maybe a woman is childless b/c she has not been preggo yet...you know that is still possible

Men are no better, but the tangible consequences are not as evident as they are in women (body changes, custody of children, etc). The main point is, if a man and a woman have the same amount of sex, the woman will be much more adversely affected because ultimately it's HER body that will deal with the repercussions and not the man. She'll also most likely be the sole caregiver of the child.

but true

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

dang

according to some of the comments in this thread a 26+ yr old woman is damned if she has kids out of wedlock and damned if she has them while married

just can't get a break huh?

and maybe a woman is childless b/c she has not be preggo yet...you know that is still possible



but true

No no sis, we have to have had abortions that's why we are childless