"Darth Kobe" Written By R. Littal For BlackSportsonline.com

Michael Angelo

Star
OG Investor
For Robert Littal's daily Truth Rants go to http://www.blacksportsonline.com

Darth Kobe
Written By Robert Littal
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Robert.littal@blacksportsonline.com

I love Darth Kobe. I liked Kobe Skywalker but I have been waiting to see Darth Kobe for a long time. And when I say a long time, I mean for 10 years I knew this day would come. It wasn’t a matter of if, just when. I knew Bean had it in him to become Darth Kobe one day and the signs were there from the beginning. At 17 he told his high school girlfriend he wasn’t taken her to prom because he was going with R&B singer Brandy. Think about that for a minute from the young lady’s perspective. You are the girlfriend of the most popular guy in school and prom is supposed to be your crowning day and he dumps you for basically a photo opportunity. That is cold and only someone with the darkside inside him could do that to someone.

From throwing up 3 air balls in a clinching playoff loss to waving screens off at the All-Star game you had to know that Bean had that darkside in him but he didn’t want to embrace it. You can blame corporate America and Racist Stern for that. Kobe was never as perfect as he seemed to be. Bean was the closest thing that Racist Stern could get to Michael Jordan and corporate America searching for the next Jordan pitched Kobe as the model American athlete. Kobe obviously after being obsessed with Jordan had to study the way Jordan handled the media and sometimes when he spoke it seemed like it was Jordan speaking in from inside his body. His answers were always predictable; dull and never rocked the boat, which was great for the NBA and Racist Stern who were trying to shed their hip-hop image. Kobe was handsome and articulate. He speaks fluent Italian and has no tattoos and no affiliation to the hip-hop nation (unless you count that horrible rap performance in a Brian McKnight video. If you email me, I will find the clip for you).

The darkside had been pushed aside even though there were glimpses of it coming out from time to time (i.e. his bitch slapping fight with Chris Childs). Similar to the actual Star Wars movie, it was a woman who was going to finally take him from Kobe Skywalker to Darth Kobe.

Vanessa Bryant is a dime piece (for those not up on the vernacular that means she is hot and if you haven’t seen pictures of her just email me). She is also a former rap video actress and possible stripper (that can’t be confirmed at this time). From the start she had her mind made up she was going to get Kobe Bryant. Bryant for all of his basketball knowledge and general intelligence lacked “street smarts”. He was no match for this “hood chick” who quickly got knocked up and got a ring on her finger. For the NBA, this was great for marketing purposes. You had your young superstar marrying his baby mamma and playing father of the year for all of the cameras. Kobe was the Teflon Don and he even had me fooled and it was my job to be suspicious. I had just finished a long article on athletes cheating on their wives for a local paper and one of my exact quotes from that article:

“People need to realize the 99.9% of athletes cheat, that .01% that don’t is either Doug Christie or Kobe Bryant and one of them in fooling us right now.”

Two days after that article posted the Colorado incident went down and it became obvious who was doing the fooling. I am not going to rehash the whole Colorado incident but while I know Bean probably didn’t look upon it in a positive way in my opinion, it was necessary event in his transformation. Bryant obviously figured out at some point that to marry so young was a mistake and did what a normal married man does when he is a celebrity he started to cheat. Since my proclamation of 99.9% of athletes/celebrities I have changed that percentage to 100% and that includes Doug Christie. What Kobe did was the norm, not the exception, but because we had been whitewashed that he was the perfect person it shocked many to the point that their disappointment turned to anger. In general people don’t like to be made a fool of and Bryant made a fool out of all of us who held him to a higher standard than his peers.

Bryant was on such a high pedestal at that point and possibly believing his own hype he failed to understand that you cheat on your wife with professional groupies who are only in it for the money of the thrill of sleeping with a celebrity, not an emotionally unstable Caucasian female who just had a fight with her boyfriend. Bryant once again blinded by the fact that he thought everyone in the world saw himself as the perfect person actually believed if he told the police he didn’t do it they would actually let him go. That if he mentioned that Shaq pays off his women that would somehow help his case. Many people slammed Bryant for being naïve and immature to the goings on of the real world, but those same people are the reason Bryant was so ignorant to what can happen if you get yourself in a sticky situation.

After being knocked off that pedestal, after being criticized by every media outlet, after being replaced as the poster boy of the NBA (see: Lebron James), after being on the losing end of a verbal battle with Shaq, after being dropped by his major sponsors, after being dogged by Phil Jackson in his book, after being ridiculed for his lack of team play, after being accused of running Shaq out of town, after being made a national joke for the 6 million ring he bought Vanessa to save the marriage and after failing to lead the Lakers to the playoffs as a solo star Bryant eyes finally opened.

They had been closed for a long time, but now he saw that people who he thought were has friends weren’t. He saw that just because he was a star and could speak Italian that he wasn’t immune to the vicious racism and prejudices that go along with a black man being accused of raping a white woman. He saw that once the once he wasn’t perfect Kobe that instead of Jordan he was being compared to Dominique. He saw no matter what he did it was never going to change some people’s opinion of him. The hate was strong for Kobe from all directions. It was different than say a hate for T.O. or Barry Bonds because those stars mainly see the hate from the white audience and the white media whereas Kobe got it from black and white alike. In a 2 year time frame Bryant went from the top of the world to the bottom of the sewer and it was the best thing that every happen to him.

Slowly but surely that blocks started to fall into place for the final transformation from Kobe Skywalker to Darth Kobe. First Kathy Faber either decided she was lying through her teeth or that if Kobe was acquitted that her chances to get some money would be greatly diminished decided it was better off not to go through the rape trial. The fact that he was accused will never be forgotten. Secondly Phillip came back, which took the sting out of the Kobe coach killer persona. Thirdly when Bean dropped 62 on the in 3 quarters against the Mavericks and voluntarily took himself out of the game in the hopes of showing that he was a team player only to be slaughtered the next day in the media for not going for 80 I believe that was the end of Kobe Skywalker as we knew him. That was his final attempt to get back what he lost in Colorado and again it was turned into a negative. The last bit of good wholesome Kobe that was left was gone. The last and most important thing that happen is Shaq in essence burying the hatchet with Kobe. Not only did this free Kobe from having to always speak on Shaq and their relationship, it freed everyone else from having to take sides and gave them to green light to say “If Shaq can forgive him, so can we”. From that point we have seen Darth Kobe in all his glory culminating in the “T.O.” game against the Raptors.

Darth Kobe still gives the standard answers when talking to the media, but everyone including Kobe knows he is lying. You can see it in his eyes, that “I don’t give a f*ck” look. You have to be a little crazy to score 81 points in an NBA game. You have to be a little crazy to go through what he has went through and still act like it didn’t phase you. The Kobe you see now is choking opponents by just using the force. He is carrying a recreational team to a possible playoff season. The hate still exists, but it only fuels the fire. Do you think Vince Carter is looking forward to meeting up with Bean? They used to say Bean was soft and now he is getting suspended for busting players in the grill. You want to know the scary thing is? Even though it seems Bean has been around forever we sometimes forget he is only 27 and he is just hitting his peak. Don’t compare him with Jordan because at 27 there was no comparison 3 rings (even with Shaq) trumps anything Jordan did up to that point. We all know what Jordan did after 27 that is what created the legend. No one knows what the future holds for Kobe, but one thing we do know he won’t come up short for lack of desire.

The era Darth Kobe is in full force and as the hate and jealousy continues to flow he will continue to get stronger. I for one embrace Darth Kobe because this is who he has always been. From the time he kicked his high school sweetheart to the curb for Brandy, to dry humping white girls in Colorado and to dropping a “T.O.” on the league this is who he is and it is scary what a man can do when he can look in the mirror and the reflection is the real you.
 

cranrab

Star
BGOL Investor
"Darth tobe"

this WAS entertaining...

of course, Anakin Skywalker - tobe

here's the supporting cast:

Qui-Gon Jinn - Jerry West
Senator Palpatine - Dr. Jerry Buss
Mace Windu - Shaquille O'neal
Count Dooku/Darth Tyranus - Coach Del Harris
 

cranrab

Star
BGOL Investor
jurassic tobe

for me, tobe's euro style of play always reminds me most of steven spielberg's jurassic park.

John Hammond - tobe
Donald Gennaro - Dr. Jerry Buss
Robert Muldoon - Coach Del Harris
Ray Arnold - Shaquille O'neal
Dr. Alan Grant - Coach Phil Jackson
Dr. Ian Malcolm - myself, Charley Rosen, Coach Pat Riley, Vince Carter, Coach Paul Silas, etc.
 

cranrab

Star
BGOL Investor
"Darth tobe"

Michael Angelo said:
No one knows what the future holds for Kobe, but one thing we do know he won’t come up short for lack of desire.

care to revise this line?

for those of us who have seen star wars, we know that darth vader had to make a sacrifice to realize the good within him. we know that darth vader gave his own life to save his son. the rebels won, and the empire lost.

darth tobe tried that script, but ultimately couldn't make it work.

up 3-1, darth tobe couldn't summon the force to close out the series.

up 3-2, darth tobe couldn't will the fakers to victory.

tied 3-3, darth tobe succumbed to the power of the darkside.

luke, leia, han solo, the wookie and the droids won, and the fakers lost. what people fail to recognize is something that senator palpateen already keenly understood: the hate didn't start or end with the members of the rebellion, IT ALREADY EXISTED WITHIN ANAKIN HIMSELF.
 
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