I wish I remembered to check out The Onion more often.
In the thread Kobe's Daughter Gigi Bryant GOES OFF w/ Kobe Coaching, a couple of posters ironically commented on her passing, noting that Kobe was not known to share. And this popped in my head:
I love it because I read it after not thinking of it for years and I'm instantly hit with the exact same imagery it provoked when I first read it a half dozen years ago, with overhead cameras moving from angle to angle with each declaration as Kobe passionately yells about how sick he is of all this shit and other Kobes are persuaded by his obviously true argument. (This show had yet to air, but Kobe's delivery in the scene is very much in the style of Crazy Eyes from Orange Is The New Black.)
Do any old Onion articles stand out in your mind?
In the thread Kobe's Daughter Gigi Bryant GOES OFF w/ Kobe Coaching, a couple of posters ironically commented on her passing, noting that Kobe was not known to share. And this popped in my head:
Kobe Bryant Holds Kobe-Bryant-Only Meeting To Discuss Lakers
February 14 2013
LOS ANGELES— After a tumultuous and disappointing first half of their season, Kobe Bryant reportedly called a Kobe-Bryant-only meeting Thursday to air out the many issues still plaguing the Lakers.
“There are 29 games to go and we’re still under .500, so everybody needs to step their game up right now,” Bryant reportedly said during the closed-door talks, which did not include coaches, upper management, or any of the other 13 players on the Lakers’ roster.
“I’m sick of hearing excuses about shoulder injuries or trade speculation. We should be contending for the title, but I feel like I’m the only one out there who even gives a damn. And frankly, that’s pathetic.”
Reached for comment, Bryant told reporters the meeting was “very positive,” as it was unanimously agreed that the 15-time All-Star should get the ball more during games.
February 14 2013
LOS ANGELES— After a tumultuous and disappointing first half of their season, Kobe Bryant reportedly called a Kobe-Bryant-only meeting Thursday to air out the many issues still plaguing the Lakers.
“There are 29 games to go and we’re still under .500, so everybody needs to step their game up right now,” Bryant reportedly said during the closed-door talks, which did not include coaches, upper management, or any of the other 13 players on the Lakers’ roster.
“I’m sick of hearing excuses about shoulder injuries or trade speculation. We should be contending for the title, but I feel like I’m the only one out there who even gives a damn. And frankly, that’s pathetic.”
Reached for comment, Bryant told reporters the meeting was “very positive,” as it was unanimously agreed that the 15-time All-Star should get the ball more during games.
I love it because I read it after not thinking of it for years and I'm instantly hit with the exact same imagery it provoked when I first read it a half dozen years ago, with overhead cameras moving from angle to angle with each declaration as Kobe passionately yells about how sick he is of all this shit and other Kobes are persuaded by his obviously true argument. (This show had yet to air, but Kobe's delivery in the scene is very much in the style of Crazy Eyes from Orange Is The New Black.)
Do any old Onion articles stand out in your mind?
