Women that can't have kids or sex

[dHustla]

Recently I met this chick that was born with a rare condition (persistent cloaca & imperforate anus) where she can't have kids and can't have sex on a regular basis.

To add to the mix, she said an ex gave her chlamydia & gonorrhea on different occasions and both times they developed into PID (pelvic inflammatory disease), further decreasing her chances of ever conceiving.

She had the birth conditions fixed surgically by age 3 for the most part, but she still has problems with incontinence(no sphincter) and it's getting worse as she gets older (27).

My questions for the fam:

Would you look at her as less than a woman? A broken person?

Women:
How do y'all feel her accepting her man stepping out on her because she couldn't give fully satisfy him sexually? (she said she recently chose to not do this anymore because its not fair to her really)

Men:
Would you be able to deal with her in a serious relationship given that sex would be severely limited and probably a non-existent?

Just so you know, she's bad.... size 5, 125 lbs. And what baffles me is she said if it wasn't for a particular comment I made that she would have never told me about her condition and that there have been plenty that she dealt with (i.e. fucked) that never knew. Her insecurities about it are more severe than her condition and she's a very guarded person, ridiculously so.

 

[Dyasha_Devine]

Damn..thats definitely suks : (

she should NEVER accept her man stepping out on her! ugh...she can find someone better than that... who wont...Im glad she kicked him to the curb...

 

[followup]

she could have a surgery, although I don't know if sex would be pleasurable for her. Also I don't know if a man who wanted to be with her would enjoy sex that much if he knew she wasn't enjoying it....

 

[dHustla]

She can have sex, and it's pleasurable. She told me about some guy earlier this year that, has the same b-day as me, she was just bangin and said he was the best she had ever been with.

She's gonna have a surgery.... ACE procedure, soon.

 

[WadeBoshJame]

 

[WadeBoshJame]

 

[dHustla]

???

 

[Cybts1]

A relationship with no sex.....

A woman who can't have children... not as big of a deal as people may think.

 

[Noir]

Being that you stated that she can (and has had) pleasurable sex, eliminates that from the issue at hand. The issue is whether a man can deal with having infrequent sex (how infrequent you did not mention) and dealing with the fact that she has other medical conditions.

The man dealing with her will have to take all of this into consideration (infrequent sex, inability to have children, other medical conditions), and figure out whether they are "man" enough to view the relationship with this woman as more than just a fucking situation. It is up to that man to decide whether he could live with those factors.

Perhaps this woman's saving grace is that the person choosing to get involved with her (knowing what is going on) is doing it because they genuinely have feelings for her, like her for her personality, spirit, etc., rather than just for sex.

What this woman needs to do is to stay positive, pursue the surgery if she desires, but also seek some counseling to help deal with some anxieties she may be feeling because of her condition and guardedness surrounding it. Remain positive in herself.

 

[Izayoi]

Being that you stated that she can (and has had) pleasurable sex, eliminates that from the issue at hand. The issue is whether a man can deal with having infrequent sex (how infrequent you did not mention) and dealing with the fact that she has other medical conditions.

The man dealing with her will have to take all of this into consideration (infrequent sex, inability to have children, other medical conditions), and figure out whether they are "man" enough to view the relationship with this woman as more than just a fucking situation. It is up to that man to decide whether he could live with those factors.

Perhaps this woman's saving grace is that the person choosing to get involved with her (knowing what is going on) is doing it because they genuinely have feelings for her, like her for her personality, spirit, etc., rather than just for sex.

What this woman needs to do is to stay positive, pursue the surgery if she desires, but also seek some counseling to help deal with some anxieties she may be feeling because of her condition and guardedness surrounding it. Remain positive in herself.

Excellent advice. At the end of the day everybody has "issues". Question is can a couple keep communication open, honest and what are they prepared to sacrifice to stay together. If you just can't deal with it, I think its always kinder to let someone know that sooner rather than later.

 

[sean69]

someone me now

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

She's got a bad issue. And ain't no way in hell i'd stay with someone who gave me a disease of any kind. Nope. She's just holding onto him cuz she thinks nobody else will want her.

 

[Mo-Better]

Would you be able to deal with her in a serious relationship given that sex would be severely limited and probably a non-existent?

Yes I believe I could but this would have to be one exceptional woman. Not one who's consumed with self pity. She would have to be the type that wants to enjoy life.

A man who would willingly enter into a relationship with a woman with those kinds of conditions would truly be there for more than just sex. I think she could feel assured his presence in her life is genuine. He's there because he wants to be.

Hell the man who accepts her with her present conditions might be the type man she will feel comfortable enough with to begin having a full life. Why? Because he cares.

Men enter into relationships with women who have health issues all the time. What about those relationships where the woman suffers major health issues like breast cancer, stroke or injury and the man remains with her? We are all not doggish there are some who really care. For those men its not about sex, sex is just a plus.

 

[mailboxpimp]

 

[geist]

Couldn't do it. One of the deciding factors in me choosing a female is whether or not I think she'd be a good mother.

 

[dHustla]

and you're not even an asshole for this. It's just how you feel.

It's really a personal choice of what we're willing to deal with, as well as what we're looking for/ want.

still my nigga

 

[dHustla]

Couldn't do it. One of the deciding factors in me choosing a female is whether or not I think she'd be a good mother.

understandable. You owe that much to your unborn child(ren).

They deserve nothing less.

 

[dHustla]

Being that you stated that she can (and has had) pleasurable sex, eliminates that from the issue at hand. The issue is whether a man can deal with having infrequent sex (how infrequent you did not mention) and dealing with the fact that she has other medical conditions.

The man dealing with her will have to take all of this into consideration (infrequent sex, inability to have children, other medical conditions), and figure out whether they are "man" enough to view the relationship with this woman as more than just a fucking situation. It is up to that man to decide whether he could live with those factors.

Perhaps this woman's saving grace is that the person choosing to get involved with her (knowing what is going on) is doing it because they genuinely have feelings for her, like her for her personality, spirit, etc., rather than just for sex.

What this woman needs to do is to stay positive, pursue the surgery if she desires, but also seek some counseling to help deal with some anxieties she may be feeling because of her condition and guardedness surrounding it. Remain positive in herself.

After talking to her further, I realize she feels that she's a broken person because of her medical issues, but I've come to find out that she's only a broken person because of her allowing a person or some people to break her.

She's so guarded that it's a suicide mission to attempt to break through, seemingly more work than it's worth.

She uses an asshole persona as a defense mechanism to push people away when she feels that their getting too close or either she's getting too close to them. It's a complete 180 degrees to her real personality and it really threw me for a loop when I got some of the texts. Also, she can be a totally different person via text/email (asshole), than in person. Further confirming her defense mechanism because she's too much of a coward to say some shit in person.

Oh well,

And Noir, I think that she's got some baggage and may be hurt a little by cumulative past experiences because she has a hard time believing someone when they say they don't mind dealing with her despite her issues. She even said, "yeah, I don't believe that shit." She feels as though being alone is best for her right now, and she may be right, but she needs so much more than to be alone. Time heals all, but not completely. I think along with being alone, she needs healthy relationships with people around her that genuinely care.

[Pauly voice] But what do I know?.... she's the psych major! [/pauly voice]

 

[Daddy43205]

she would be som mans dream wife.

 

[dHustla]

she would be som mans dream wife.

why you say that?

please explain?

 

[dHustla]

..?

 

[dHustla]

someone me now

@ which part?

 

[dHustla]

?..

 

[hoodedgoon]

been there, done that and as much as i tried to say i could live with infrequent sex and that the woman's pleasure is not important it eventually was. i feel bad but my job is not to punish my self to make someone else happy. i'm no hero i know that.

 

[dHustla]

And thats ok, bruh. That don't make you a bad person or any less of a man.

I think in this girl's case, she doesn't see sex as necessary or a need, which is highly debatable.

Also, after dealing with her for a while I think she has the capacity for someone to make her happy if only she allow them to. I see how much of a guarded person she is and how insecure she is..