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Women in a Long Distance Relationship...Get in here!
- Thread starter thighsneyez22
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First off, how are you going to critique something or even speak on a topic without taking it in fully? The question that was proposed IS BASED ON THE VID...you just said you didn't watch thoroughly, you dismissed dude because you thought he was ghetto (He definitely is not, maybe goofy, but not ghetto at all) and you're speaking already from a skewed, bias, and negative standpoint. Bottomline, with the statements you made, you just said your opinion doesn't count numberous times.
TnE, as far as the vid and the question it poses, I agree with ChiCutie and LS. It definitely is possible that it CAN work, but effort and hard work must be put in to it. I have a friend that got married to her husband and they are both from Cape Verde originally. She met him on a trip back in 2002, they met again in 2005, and maintained the relationship the whole time until they got married in 2007. Might I add that she lived in Atlanta, GA and he lived in Cape Verde. He then moved to the U.S. and they commenced the engagement. So it DEFINITELY is possible.
2nd, it's not just women that have to worry about their mate in a long distance relationship, and I'm talking from personal experience. I'm a firm believer that people only accuse you of things they are guilty of themselves, and I definitely have been with women that were insecure with themselves and thought that I might cheat on them, even though I was loyal. I have been in quite a few long distance relationships, and from my standpoint and experience, it takes a person with great patience, understanding, love, and support of the other and vice versa in order for it to work.
Lastly, I pose this question to you and other women as well as men on the board...If you can't see yourself maintaining or being in a long distance relationship with someone you supposedly love, then what does that say about you and the love for that person? To liken it to an ancient Egyptian believe of "As is above, so is below", I believe it's the same with relationships, "So is then, as is now"...meaning that if you can't forsee yourself being with someone and sticking by them through your own insecurities, temptations, and rough times long distance wise, then how do you expect to handle hard and rough times in a relationship that's closer?
Sorry about the rant, just had to get that off my chest...
YESSUR!!
2nd, it's not just women that have to worry about their mate in a long distance relationship, and I'm talking from personal experience. I'm a firm believer that people only accuse you of things they are guilty of themselves, and I definitely have been with women that were insecure with themselves and thought that I might cheat on them, even though I was loyal. I have been in quite a few long distance relationships, and from my standpoint and experience, it takes a person with great patience, understanding, love, and support of the other and vice versa in order for it to work.
Lastly, I pose this question to you and other women as well as men on the board...If you can't see yourself maintaining or being in a long distance relationship with someone you supposedly love, then what does that say about you and the love for that person? To liken it to an ancient Egyptian believe of "As is above, so is below", I believe it's the same with relationships, "So is then, as is now"...meaning that if you can't forsee yourself being with someone and sticking by them through your own insecurities, temptations, and rough times long distance wise, then how do you expect to handle hard and rough times in a relationship that's closer?
Sorry about the rant, just had to get that off my chest...
Thanks for the reality vibe Ons. If its worth the effort then there is no reason whatsoever why one can't make it work.
ummmm what about him makes him ghetto? and if he was a non-american type of "ghetto" guy would you have continued watching?
hmmmm that was a snap judgement you made and i think you should give the video a try. sometimes we jump to conclusions too soon and wind up missing on something good.
and you said you know a lot about LD relationships unfortunatelythat sounds like a sore spot of reality for you.
with the mall anology, are you talking about what he spoke about or actually going to the mall?
^ true story
you can have someone in the same town, even on the same block...if they are going to be inaccessable, they are going to be inaccessable. if they want to cheat, they are going to cheat. if they are going to be faithful, they are going to be faithful.
i believe that if you are going to be in a LD relationship, it shouldn't be in the beginning stages of the relationship becuase usually a strong foundation isn't established yet.
it is DEF a test of your relationship but also an opportunity to explore some other ways of communication and expression of your feelings towards your partner. you will see the strengths and weaknesses a lot sooner and clearer.
granted LD relationships aren't for everyone BUT, some people can make it work, especially since they aren't usually permanent.
very true
Ladies he is NOT just another pretty face
Good vibes Ons
Thanks for the reality vibe Ons. If its worth the effort then there is no reason whatsoever why one can't make it work.
very true
Ladies he is NOT just another pretty face
That made me smile!
Doesn't work for me too well though as I wish it was him instead of whoever else.
so its one that you are currently in...first of all...that took alot to share your feeling like that... honestly now I can feel you and see where you might be coming from.
so are you saying you would rather you guys have a monogamous sexually frustrated relationship than a non-exclusive less sexually frustrating one.
I got a theory yall...the dude in the vid prolly reminds here of a dude that broke her hears. huh? huh?
Bigirl, aside from the american ghettoness... when you listen to what this man is saying in the video, do you think his theories match up at all with the guy you are currently pining over?
There is no point in having a monogomous thing when we are thousands of miles apart. He hopes I find some dick I like up here and I hope he gets what he needs too. That has nothing to do with our connection.
However, its sexually frustrating regardless. Until I run into someone that I connect as deeply and strongly with as I do with him, I am left feeling incomplete hence frustrated.
I just watched the 2nd half of the video. I couldn't last night as it was giving me a headache. We have the honesty he refers to. Nobody is lying to anybody. He is a musician and has all kinds of tourist girls throwing themselves at him all the time. I hope he is safely hitting the nice good looking ones. He just told me this morning he hopes I find someone to take care of me as much as I need up here. So....
When we are in the same location, its a whole different story though but sadly for right now we are not. So we gotta do what we gotta do.
I can respect that BG...you have a mutual overstanding between each other. No pretense.
In the vid the mall that is referred to we could liken to SOL/BGOL. I mean we have people on here who are happily married or in sound committed relationships but will flirt without hesitation.
Doesn't mean that they love their partner any less. Doesn't mean that they are going to act on anything said either.
I say do what feels good for you. In the end its boils down to what gives you a positive vibe. Well that's the way I see it anyways.
Peace
Thanks for taking the time out to do that BiG...
now I am curious - you didnt directly answer one of my questions
so are you saying you would rather you guys have a monogamous sexually frustrated relationship than a non-exclusive less sexually frustrating one.
if it were up to you... which scenario would you choose...?
I did answer. I said the non exclusivity is not less sexually frustrating at all.
I also said being monogamous while thousands of miles away makes no sense.
Neither one of us has ran into anyone on the same level or even close but we could...
Options are always better than no options.
*sidenote* people always tell me I am too picky but this is one hell of a guy so like i keep saying whoever it is has to be equal or better to him and that is not easy to achieve.
I hope I have explained myself to your satisfaction.
gotcha...so if a gun was to your head to choose one... u'd pick monogamy
LAWD....you driving me insane
How many times do i have to repeat that monogamy makes no sense?
LAWD....you driving me insane
How many times do i have to repeat that monogamy makes no sense?
I don't mean to break into your conversation but one quick question BG. Are you saying monogamy in a long distance relationship or monogamy makes no sense period?
in a long distance relationship
Okay. Thanks. Just wanted to clarify. Carry on.
Okay. Thanks. Just wanted to clarify. Carry on.
I will add that when we in the same place monogamy is just automatic cause there is nothing else even close to as good. Not by a long shot.
[flash]http://youtube.com/v/3WUCHosFauo[/flash]
That's beautiful BG.
hmmm question?
so is that really monogamy being that exclusivity is contingent on physical closeness or the main one your sexin for the time he's in town? or the main or the only one he is sexin while he is in a town near you?
do you have a open but once he is in town its an exclusive type of relationship?
we usually are in the same place. we are from the same place. this is a first, odd and fucked up circumstance we have been apart nearly a year. nobody expected it to be this long it just is and even worse we dont even know when we will be able to see each other. probably not til summer
we usually are in the same place. we are from the same place. this is a first, odd and fucked up circumstance we have been apart nearly a year. nobody expected it to be this long it just is and even worse we dont even know when we will be able to see each other. probably not til summer
awwww
well maybe you can find out where he is going to be in a couple of months touring and do a quick visit....or a surprise visit. i'm sure a weekend or a night will be the best for the both of you.
yeah we trying to figure it out. first chance we have we linking up.
It takes hard work and maturity for a long distance relationship to work.
A man can cheat on you when you live together just as easily as he could if he lived 5 states away. It's not about the distance, it's about respect and the desire to be faithful.
But I don't do long distance.
A man can cheat on you when you live together just as easily as he could if he lived 5 states away. It's not about the distance, it's about respect and the desire to be faithful.
But I don't do long distance.
I cant do long distance either. I like to be able to see my woman on the regular. And I like sex too much. I wouldnt cheat but I wouldnt be happy either.
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