Why would a black woman pass up a good black man?
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This can be looked at in more than one way . . . a good man can be considered one that provides you with security, love, loyalty and a stable environment . . . at the same time . . . he could be physically, mentally or emotionally abusive, but for someone on the outside looking in . . . the man appears to be a good man . . . . 
A good man can also be considered one who works, is respectful, loyalty, non abusive and has a job . . . but he can be stagnant, have no ambition or drive and be happy struggling . . . his woman may not want to settle for always struggling and to be honest . . . you can do bad by yourself . . .
My definition of a good man is someone on my level . . . equally yoked, loving, loyal, a provider, respectful, a Christian, good father, someone who has my back no matter what . . . I have plans for the future and I'm taking things to the next level . . . I need a man that compliments that . . . not one that holds me back or brings me down . . . he should support me the same way I support him . . . me and him against the world . . . that's just me . . . I'm not trying to take over . . . I totally respect my husband as the head of the household . . . and he should respect me as the woman of the house . . . we both know and respect our position
A good man can also be considered one who works, is respectful, loyalty, non abusive and has a job . . . but he can be stagnant, have no ambition or drive and be happy struggling . . . his woman may not want to settle for always struggling and to be honest . . . you can do bad by yourself . . .
My definition of a good man is someone on my level . . . equally yoked, loving, loyal, a provider, respectful, a Christian, good father, someone who has my back no matter what . . . I have plans for the future and I'm taking things to the next level . . . I need a man that compliments that . . . not one that holds me back or brings me down . . . he should support me the same way I support him . . . me and him against the world . . . that's just me . . . I'm not trying to take over . . . I totally respect my husband as the head of the household . . . and he should respect me as the woman of the house . . . we both know and respect our position
This can be looked at in more than one way . . . a good man can be considered one that provides you with security, love, loyalty and a stable environment . . . at the same time . . . he could be physically, mentally or emotionally abusive, but for someone on the outside looking in . . . the man appears to be a good man . . . .
A good man can also be considered one who works, is respectful, loyalty, non abusive and has a job . . . but he can be stagnant, have no ambition or drive and be happy struggling . . . his woman may not want to settle for always struggling and to be honest . . . you can do bad by yourself . . .
My definition of a good man is someone on my level . . . equally yoked, loving, loyal, a provider, respectful, a Christian, good father, someone who has my back no matter what . . . I have plans for the future and I'm taking things to the next level . . . I need a man that compliments that . . . not one that holds me back or brings me down . . . he should support me the same way I support him . . . me and him against the world . . . that's just me . . . I'm not trying to take over . . . I totally respect my husband as the head of the household . . . and he should respect me as the woman of the house . . . we both know and respect our position
My mother is always telling me about being equally yoked with your partner; pray tell, what does this mean to you?
Yoke:
A yoke is a wooden beam which is used between a pair of oxen to allow them to pull a load (oxen almost always work in pairs).
II Corinthians 6:14
Stop becoming unevenly yoked with unbelievers. What partnership can righteousness have with lawlessness? What fellowship can light have with darkness?
Deut. 22:10
"You shall not plow with an ox and a donkey together."
I think the passage should be dealt with in a biblical hermeneutic view.
The Hebrews were surrounding by other tribes who worshiped other gods, therefore making marriage, communication, and unions, against the will of God.
A Donkey or Oxen can not plow a straight line together.
A yoke is a wooden beam which is used between a pair of oxen to allow them to pull a load (oxen almost always work in pairs).
II Corinthians 6:14
Stop becoming unevenly yoked with unbelievers. What partnership can righteousness have with lawlessness? What fellowship can light have with darkness?
Deut. 22:10
"You shall not plow with an ox and a donkey together."
I think the passage should be dealt with in a biblical hermeneutic view.
The Hebrews were surrounding by other tribes who worshiped other gods, therefore making marriage, communication, and unions, against the will of God.
A Donkey or Oxen can not plow a straight line together.
Guess you put my mother to shame!
Thank you for the interpretation, brother Shane...
Does the gender of the pair of oxen (or donkeys) yoked together matter ... given the likelihood that a mixed gender pair could fuck up the work if spontaneous intermittent copulation occurs?
Hermeneutically speaking of course.
I think most of the time its because women are too damn particular. Women will find any excuse they can not to date a man especially when they're with their girl friends. I can't date him he's got a belly. He don't make enough money, he's too dark, needs a haircut, look at that old car he's driving. What I'm saying is many women are shallow. The things that should be important to them aren't. So they pass up someone who would probably love them they way they desire but because he didn't meet their criteria of the ideal man they miss out. Then here comes the there's no good men available.
The end result is these women wait and when they find that guy that meets those criteria. The nice car, the big bankroll, built like Mr. Universe and what happens? He treats them like shit.
In many cases the black woman was wronged by a black man. Wronged to a point where she never got over the hurt. She then vowed to never allow another black man to hurt her again. You want an example just look at Halle Berry. How many brothers did she date? They all dogged her. Now she's with a white dude.
The end result is these women wait and when they find that guy that meets those criteria. The nice car, the big bankroll, built like Mr. Universe and what happens? He treats them like shit.
In many cases the black woman was wronged by a black man. Wronged to a point where she never got over the hurt. She then vowed to never allow another black man to hurt her again. You want an example just look at Halle Berry. How many brothers did she date? They all dogged her. Now she's with a white dude.
And the same doesn't occur with men?
Men can often be as simple-minded as your examples from above, making poor decisions when it comes to choosing a lover rather than choosing a responsible mate. How many times have you or a friend decided to date the girl with the big ole' booty with her titties hanging out before giving the more conservative one play, eh? Let's face it: we all have (or have had) some shitty images or unreachable standards for mates at one time or another; this is NOT, I feel, reason enough to say that black women pass up good black men, because it's a universal mistake that many cultures make, not just the African American man or African American woman.
Usually because I like to think and make sense of things... most people in America are generally dumb asses like yourself, that's why. If you were not a dumbass, you would understand how people could deal with me in the first place. No disrespect.
You are a mess...me and you could never work out... good fucking luck. I feel bad for your good man putting up with your contradicting ass...
LLLLLMMMMMMMMBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOO
no disrespect and I appreciate your responses, thx... and btw, I'm just making observations, not assumptions...
Wait... what was the question again?
ABSOLUTELYDoes the gender of the pair of oxen (or donkeys) yoked together matter ... given the likelihood that a mixed gender pair could fuck up the work if spontaneous intermittent copulation occurs?
Hermeneutically speaking of course.
Sean you are a mess!
And the same doesn't occur with men?
Men can often be as simple-minded as your examples from above, making poor decisions when it comes to choosing a lover rather than choosing a responsible mate. How many times have you or a friend decided to date the girl with the big ole' booty with her titties hanging out before giving the more conservative one play, eh? Let's face it: we all have (or have had) some shitty images or unreachable standards for mates at one time or another; this is NOT, I feel, reason enough to say that black women pass up good black men, because it's a universal mistake that many cultures make, not just the African American man or African American woman.
Jo, I agree with you on most of your points except on the universal mistake made by many cultures. Blacks are more willing to accept non blacks than other cultures are willing to accept us, unless we have money then we get the red carpet treatment.
Men and women are both guilty. Somehow common sense has become uncommon. The answer is being more selective. That conservative choice vs. the head turner. But you and I both know by todays standards to choose someone "conservative" is likely to be looked upon as settling for or getting the consolation prize. We have to rise above that way of thinking.
I see confusion within our more successful black athletes and celebrities. (also in those less successful, your average) As if their accomplishments weren't enough they don't feel they have truly arrived until they're dating or marrying someone white. Its not like these whites are even on the same level with them yet..... I think we both agree abandoning our own is not the answer.
All that glitters is not gold. I view whites are nothing more than iron pyrite (fools gold) and successful blacks risk much to obtain this worthless commodity. There is no question we sometimes seek those we shouldn't. Only later to find out they were not what we expected. Just ask O.J. how its going.
I just don't appreciate these threads with these hasty generalizations made by black men about what poor decisions black women seem to be making with their love live. Both of my best friends are married to wonderful, good black men who treat them well and they reciprocate the love they receive. I think, in some circles, African American women are choosing good black men. But, you have to look at the characteristics and qualities of THAT black woman to see why she is possibly choosing a poor mate or passing up a good mate. When you break down who that woman is, as a person (READ: NOT AS A BLACK WOMAN, BUT JUST A WOMAN), you'll probably be able to understand her poor choice in a mate...
Your right about the generalizations and I think we're all guilty of using them on occasion. But given the average age of the SOL/BGOL member expect those generalizations to continue.
Poor decisions are made by both genders with each gender having its own erred list. Let's be real we have all made poor decisions. There's not a person alive who hasn't made a decision they didn't end up regretting. The trick is to learn from them and don't continue to make them.
But sometimes its not poor choices of mates. Sometimes people just change. I've been on both ends of it and the results are not pleasant regardless of which side your on.
As for those characteristics and qualities everyone male an female has their own. Regardless if their criteria is realistic or not.
But daily we see poor decisions daily being made by black celebrities sports stars from O.J. to Michael Vick to most recently Plaxico Burress. As a people we just need to be smarter in our decision making and that's in every aspect of life.
see that is part of the problem
there are also people daily making the good decisions but that is not newsworthy.
so i have to take comments like that with a grain of salt
is it that as a people we need to make smarter decisions or as a people we need to appreciate and encourage the public showcasing of smarter decisions that have and continue to be made?
what are u confused about?
if i made a thread about a positive move i made in my life...it prolly would get many replies and then u will have the smart ass comments trying to undercut the decisions or accusations of bragging
but dumb ass threads over bullshit go on for pages
for example
a man talking about how he stayed faithful to his wife and how much he loves her...he is congratulated by a few and bashed by many
a man talks about how he is fuckin around on his wife with mad chics...some will call him out in a joking manner and tell him to "be careful", then there are the few that tell him that what he is doing is fucked up, then the monogamy bashers, and then those who accept it as normal...and let's not forget the ppl who will find some way to blame his wife for HIS DECISION in regards to HIS course of actions
so smart decisions are being mad...they just need to be more popular, and cool and the norm in terms of news and discussions
I think the title of the thread should be "why good people bypass other good people when it comes to relationships?"
Reality of the situation is this, it comes to opportunity. When that man/woman that you are feeling give you any type of hint interest, you need to act on it. Life is too short for making excuses on WHY you don't wanna talk to someone. Now, with that being said, I'm not saying talk to well known crazy bitch/nigga just because he/she gave you a hint. I'm talking about someone that you could see potential in.
Reality of the situation is this, it comes to opportunity. When that man/woman that you are feeling give you any type of hint interest, you need to act on it. Life is too short for making excuses on WHY you don't wanna talk to someone. Now, with that being said, I'm not saying talk to well known crazy bitch/nigga just because he/she gave you a hint. I'm talking about someone that you could see potential in.
The problem is that there are many women that think that the men are the donkeys when they are actually the donkeys themselves...
I see it all the time...a woman dogs a man who is very good (not weak, soft, or boring) for a thug or someone that everyone (including her) knows is dogging her out with another woman (or several other woman, a wife, etc.). If a woman does this, then she deserves what she gets.
Oh, and just for the record, the same thing goes for a man who turns down a good woman for a woman who would not be considered to be a good woman.
got that right 
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