What would you do if this was your son

[LoneStar29]

I didn't respond to the males because i assumed they weren't raising a child.

Why would you make that assumption

So since you said Iwas the one being emotional point it out? I see that you called me:

• a complete idiot
• incapable of reading
• told me to eat a dick
• then attempted to take on the victim mantle - good strategy - by saying that my ill words won't harm you or your son.
• then you said i was pretending? what do i gain by pretending. what do i gain by attempting to put you down on a board predominated by males?

You said that I was not effective in raising my son because I am a woman ... and you implied (along with the rest of BGOL) that my son may not have his father there ... there is no greater insult than that as far as I'm concerned

You insult me then throw in all this other shit to try to cover the insult and pretend you are teaching me something so when I get mad (cuz you know I will)at the insult you can start talking shit about how I am actually mad at the facts and not the insult -good strategy-

Alas, these are all called ad hominem. this is an attack that is irrelevant to the issue at hand. Changing the grounds of the conversation is usually the tactic of the person with the weaker or nonexistent argument.

I'm confused about what we were arguing over cuz the OP clearly asked for peoples opinions which I gave but you didn't ... you chose to attack my opinion instead

you chose to quote one line out of my lengthy post and then used the victim strategy but completely disregarded the rest. This clearly means that you are not interested in discussion - but emotional play - overindulging in emotion which was my initial point.

If you were in any way interested in educating me about something or discussing anything with me then you would have in a respectful manner as opposed to calling me a bad mom and saying that I am raising a bitch in the process ... honestly after that first line of insult I don't give a fuck about the rest of what you have to say

you ended your last post with eat a dick. fair enough. this too is pandering to emotion - an emotional appeal that IS PRECISELY MY POINT - that single mothers often raise overly emotional boys if there is no counterbalance.

You assume there is no counterbalance ... which you can continue to do btw ... I don't need to prove my living conditions to a screen name

so any reasonably minded person would see that with every post you continue to reinforce my original statement. Even now I'm not trying to disrespect you nor will I begin to. I haven't called you any names on the sly or the humble - haven't tried to belittle you other than dissect exactly what you've posted and offer opinion as to why i disagree.

good day.

Now who is playing the victim?

I've already stated what I found insulting ... although I think you are mean I know you aren't an idiot ... you are very well aware of what you said and how you said it ... and if my posts bug you that much ... there is always the option of IGNORE

BTW the highlighted part lets me know you are looking for c/s and other people to see the posts and agree with you ... that in itself is hella lame and not something you would think a grown man with so much emotions in check would need which is e-props

You have a GREAT day

 

[Spectrum]

^this overly emotional mess is exactly why your son should be grateful if there's a male in his life.

how can the boy understand the explanation if he doesn't understand the context? this is why any child development expert tells you rules are more important than explanations because children do not understand explanations. classic parenting mistake: overestimate a child's intelligence. parents consistently do this. the child simply is UNABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE EXPLANATION so in this instance he is given the greenlight to revel in the emotion because he wasn't IMMEDIATELY GREETED WITH A RULE TELLING HIM TO STOP.

I tell a child to not stick a fork in the electrical socket because electricity will shock him means nothing to him. the only thing that will teach him is the shock itself - or the rule REINFORCEMENT. he'll never go near it because he knows this is an unbreakable rule. me explaining how electrons work and the conductivity of metals only confuses him and is a ridiculous thing to do BECAUSE THE INFORMATION IS SUPERFLUOUS TO HOW HE SHOULD HANDLE
THE SITUATION. This is a consistent thing that women do - superfluous talk - information irrevelant to the situation. i am guardian to my nephew and have been since he was born. his mother rambles emotionally and nonesensically about some shit - he texts me and asks me WHAT HE SHOULD DO. His exact question is WHAT DO I DO? not what i should think? not what i should feel or not feel? WHAT I SHOULD DO. this is how boys and girls are different. my niece calls me to shoot the shit. my nephew calls me to ask me for something and/or to help him solve something.

get wise to that buddy or else you're raising a bitch nigga. no disrespect.

good day.

Damn /end thread

 

[LoneStar29]

I can't cosign this. I remember my lil cousin when he was 5...he would have been like "that's alright..do it again then if you can"...he was confident like that. Kids at 5 years old understand sarcasm. 5-7 years old is too old for a boy to be crying over getting dunked on and clowned.. I think a lot of parents "baby" their kids...especially boys.

Do you really think every child comes out of their moms pussy exactly the same??? No they don't

Some kids are naturally tougher than others ... just like adults not all of us are the same ... everybody is on a diff emotional level ... so it's cool if your nephew is so tough good for him but the next kid may not be ... so you have to teach him

And no not all 5 year olds understand sarcasm ... if he was raised at home and never went to daycare blahblahblah and his parents don't really speak to him like that how is he gonna know that the man was just joking????? Again you have to teach him

 

[Lady-Wiz]

 

[DaAssWatcher]

Son theres no crying in Basketball.You wanna cry join tha drama club.Now take a lap.

 

[Spectrum]

Do you really think every child comes out of their moms pussy exactly the same??? No they don't

Of course not. Who ever implied that? I gave one example. I also, myself, didn't cry over shit like that at 5-7 years old. I can't remember any of the younger boys in my family crying at that age over being joked with..even by an adult. This is not a 2 or 3 year old. This is not behavior by instinct... by 5-7 years old this is learned behavior...he's been most likely taught to reactive like that. So this has nothing to do with "how he arrived here"... it's more likely a reflection on the what his parents are enforcing as acceptable behavior.

Some kids are naturally tougher than others ... just like adults not all of us are the same ... everybody is on a diff emotional level ... so it's cool if your nephew is so tough good for him but the next kid may not be ... so you have to teach him

This is definitely true. However, a boy (at 5-7 years old) should not be crying over being joked with. This has nothing to do with being "tough". A boy falling on his ass, cutting or bruising himself, and just getting up and shaking it off is "tough. This kid though.... He's been conditioned to react like that...that crying is an acceptable reaction in that situation. Running to your dad and crying is NOT an acceptable reaction to a child that is 5-7 years old over this particular situation. He should be blowing that shit off...not running to his dad for emotional protection because it just wasn't necessary in that situation.

The man(his father) should be teaching him masculine behavior. Masculine behavior is reacting competitively to situations of this nature...and it's certainly not running away for emotional protection. Note that I said "masculine" and not "male". Because a little girl can also give a masculine response in this situation or simply give no response and just keep playing.

And no not all 5 year olds understand sarcasm ... if he was raised at home and never went to daycare blahblahblah and his parents don't really speak to him like that how is he gonna know that the man was just joking????? Again you have to teach him

If the parents accept this reaction as normal or acceptable for a young boy, they are teaching him to react with a feminine response when a masculine response is more appropriate. And you just contradicted yourself. In one case you are mentioning "natural" and in this above quote "learned behavior". The reality of the matter is that the parents should not encourage this type of response from the child. This type of response at that age has more to do with conditioning than anything else and his father is probably feminine.

AND NOTE.. he didnt start crying immediately.. it was only after the father coddled him that he went even further and started crying. He was waiting for his father to show him what the appropriate response was..and after his father displayed that it was acceptable to come to him in that feminine way... he went further and gave the ultimate feminine response.. crying.

 

[KTD]

He lucky that was Tyler. Fuck around and have lil Trey steal the ball out his hand and in turn dunk on him.

 

[Rhayne]

i woulda been like, yoooo what are you crying for... stop crying.. i'da been mad

 

[jduck]

been reading the debate/argument going back and forth. i must say i agree with both sides. Women tend to baby their kids at times, but that is because they are naturally a bit more nurturing and express their love for their children different than men. I think a man thinks more long term or see's the bigger picture..situations like this are opportunities to teach his son about life, while mom wants comfort for thier child first, then teach the life lesson.

I have a 5 yr old at home and I am not sure how he would react to that situation. One minute he can act tough as nails and the next he will cry over the slightest thing.
He loves basketball and I have joked with him in the exact same manner: I do the Dave Chappell immitation " In yo faaace". He thinks its funny and usually responds with his own " In yo faaaace".
However, should the whole neighborhood be at our house and television crews filming a complete stranger do this to him; he may be embarrased and cry the same way. I would attribute his crying to his desire to be on TV and everyone watching him be the one getting dunked on by this stranger instead of him being the Hero..or hey, watch how good this 5 year old can shoot.

 

[Tha Iron Fist]

I would of told my boy to suck it up, Big boys don't cry over basketball. If you want to play the game you gotta deal with this kind of thing from time to time. Just don't let it happen again and especially not in front of me or your mother.

 

[Spectrum]

I would of told my boy to suck it up, Big boys don't cry over basketball. If you want to play the game you gotta deal with this kind of thing from time to time. Just don't let it happen again and especially not in front of me or your mother.

If you had not given this response, your username would have been up for being revoked.

 

[Carolina_Bully]

pure kid ownage!!!

 

[Spectrum]

been reading the debate/argument going back and forth. i must say i agree with both sides. Women tend to baby their kids at times, but that is because they are naturally a bit more nurturing and express their love for their children different than men. I think a man thinks more long term or see's the bigger picture..situations like this are opportunities to teach his son about life, while mom wants comfort for thier child first, then teach the life lesson.

c/s

 

[LoneStar29]

No disrespect but was it really necessary to type all this in response to my 5 line post to you???? LMAOOOOOOO

Anyways

Of course not. Who ever implied that? I gave one example. I also, myself, didn't cry over shit like that at 5-7 years old. I can't remember any of the younger boys in my family crying at that age over being joked with..even by an adult.

That is good for you and the boys in your family

This is definitely true. However, a boy (at 5-7 years old) should not be crying over being joked with. This has nothing to do with being "tough". A boy falling on his ass, cutting or bruising himself, and just getting up and shaking it off is "tough. This kid though.... He's been conditioned to react like that...that crying is an acceptable reaction in that situation. Running to your dad and crying is NOT an acceptable reaction to a child that is 5-7 years old over this particular situation. He should be blowing that shit off...not running to his dad for emotional protection because it just wasn't necessary in that situation.

I never said that he should be crying over it ... and I never said it was acceptable ... all I said is that he is probably crying cuz he feels embarrassed and scared that a grown man is being all loud and obnoxious over him. I never once justified it I just gave a reason as to why he may have acted like that ... that's it

The man(his father) should be teaching him masculine behavior. Masculine behavior is reacting competitively to situations of this nature...and it's certainly not running away for emotional protection. Note that I said "masculine" and not "male". Because a little girl can also give a masculine response in this situation or simply give no response and just keep playing.

I said his parents need to teach him as well soooooooooooo ...

If the parents accept this reaction as normal or acceptable for a young boy, they are teaching him to react with a feminine response when a masculine response is more appropriate. And you just contradicted yourself. In one case you are mentioning "natural" and in this above quote "learned behavior". The reality of the matter is that the parents should not encourage this type of response from the child. This type of response at that age has more to do with conditioning than anything else and his father is probably feminine.

Again I never said that his reaction was normal or acceptable .. all I did was comment on why he may have started to cry

There are alot of natural reactions I have that I had to learn to get out of ... what is so contradictory about learning??? Not everybody is born perfect knowing everything ... some people need to be taught like myself which I am not ashamed to admit cuz I am only human ... the people teaching though need to understand that there is a proper way of going about it without talkign down to or belittling others

AND NOTE.. he didnt start crying immediately.. it was only after the father coddled him that he went even further and started crying. He was waiting for his father to show him what the appropriate response was..and after his father displayed that it was acceptable to come to him in that feminine way... he went further and gave the ultimate feminine response.. crying.

That is between him and his father and has nothing to do with me and my post ... again I only commented on what may have made him cry

 

[BGLR1212000]

Kids are funny sometimes. My son just turned 2 last month. He is afraid of a little machine we have that blows bubbles, but he's not scared of anything else that I have ever seen. My little niece that just turned 3 is afraid of my dog, but my son is not. Go figure.

 

[hart]

Not sure if this is a repost or not but what would you do if this was your son?

[FLASH]http://www.youtube.com/v/GwMUA6sIkmk&color1[/FLASH]

bitchass kid...
sad

I see we have another LeBron

cant take losing

 

[LoneStar29]

been reading the debate/argument going back and forth. i must say i agree with both sides. Women tend to baby their kids at times, but that is because they are naturally a bit more nurturing and express their love for their children different than men. I think a man thinks more long term or see's the bigger picture..situations like this are opportunities to teach his son about life, while mom wants comfort for thier child first, then teach the life lesson.

I have a 5 yr old at home and I am not sure how he would react to that situation. One minute he can act tough as nails and the next he will cry over the slightest thing.
He loves basketball and I have joked with him in the exact same manner: I do the Dave Chappell immitation " In yo faaace". He thinks its funny and usually responds with his own " In yo faaaace".
However, should the whole neighborhood be at our house and television crews filming a complete stranger do this to him; he may be embarrased and cry the same way. I would attribute his crying to his desire to be on TV and everyone watching him be the one getting dunked on by this stranger instead of him being the Hero..or hey, watch how good this 5 year old can shoot.

Kids are funny sometimes. My son just turned 2 last month. He is afraid of a little machine we have that blows bubbles, but he's not scared of anything else that I have ever seen. My little niece that just turned 3 is afraid of my dog, but my son is not. Go figure.

C/S ... just like I said ... all kids are different

I wonder where the debaters are at

I guess it just sounds better when a man says it

Edit:BTW I don't like to baby my son ... I do nurture him of course ... but if he cries over some small shit he gets no sympathy from me and he knows that already so he doesn't do it

 

[Bigmanblack]

punk ass kid. his dad should had chewed his ass out on tv

 

[Spectrum]

No disrespect but was it really necessary to type all this in response to my 5 line post to you???? LMAOOOOOOO

Anyways

Why should the length of my response be an issue? Whether I responded with 10 words or 100 doesn't matter. It wasn't even "necessary" for me to respond at all.

I never said that he should be crying over it ... and I never said it was acceptable ... all I said is that he is probably crying cuz he feels embarrassed and scared that a grown man is being all loud and obnoxious over him. I never once justified it I just gave a reason as to why he may have acted like that ... that's it

You can speculate over what caused the child to walk over to his father. But he didn't cry because he was embarrassed. If so, he would have cried immediately. He walked over to his father, chilled for a second, and then cried only after his father gave him a response. He didn't know how to react..which was obvious by how the entire situation played out. He cried because he father showed him it was appropriate to cower in that situation. Kids can cry over no got-damn thing at all... he looked for his father for the appropriate reaction and his father took the feminine response of empathy and the kid responded in kind.

I said his parents need to teach him as well soooooooooooo ...

But you can't have your cake and eat it to. You tried to both blame it on "nature" and the "parents". That's learned behavior in the situation and it's obvious.


The rest of the post I've responded to in one way or another above.

 

[Spectrum]

Edit:BTW I don't like to baby my son ... I do nurture him of course ... but if he cries over some small shit he gets no sympathy from me and he knows that already so he doesn't do it

And that's the problem in this case. I don't fault the little boy. I fault the father because he encouraged the behavior.

 

[Spectrum]

punk ass kid. his dad should had chewed his ass out on tv

Naw..he shouldn't have chewed him out.. he just should not have coddled him when it wasn't necessary.

 

[hart]

seems like the MOM of that bitchass kid is the one who wears the pants....
The MOM actually said "what are you crying for"
She did the right thing and tried to get her son back out on the court

the damage had already been done though because the bitchass DAD coddled the Kid...

In no way should that kid been crying or even looked for his parents when he was dunked on

That kid should have turned around and said ok ...try it again

bitchass kid ..... not his fault.

just bad parenting

 

[Spectrum]

seems like the MOM of that bitchass kid is the one who wears the pants....
The MOM actually said "what are you crying for"
She did the right thing and tried to get her son back out on the court

the damage had already been done though because the bitchass DAD coddled the Kid...

In no way should that kid been crying or even looked for his parents when he was dunked on

That kid should have turned around and said ok ...try it again

bitchass kid ..... not his fault.

just bad parenting

C/S. The mom gave the masculine response..which was the right response..

 

[coper]

Man up Tyler

Punk ass!!

 

[Tha Iron Fist]

If you had not given this response, your username would have been up for being revoked.

uh, ok I'm a little lost on this one, please elaborate.

 

[Nigga Infamous Still 16]

I would tell white boy to check up... Then treat him worse then he did my son...​

 

[hart]

tha cac is in his face gettin loud n shit..hes not use to it..n tha man is a stranger..he obviously thought he was gon do him harm.

the kid turned away he didnt run from the guy
his FEELINGS were hurt ... he wasnt in fear of that man

if anything he should have laughed it off and moved on or got upset but NOT turn like a bitch and look for his parents

bitchass kid = bad parenting

people are going to be loud .. people will be in his face.... that's life.. the parent isnt preparing their kid for it.

 

[thismybgolname]

seems like the MOM of that bitchass kid is the one who wears the pants....
The MOM actually said "what are you crying for"
She did the right thing and tried to get her son back out on the court

the damage had already been done though because the bitchass DAD coddled the Kid...

In no way should that kid been crying or even looked for his parents when he was dunked on

That kid should have turned around and said ok ...try it again

bitchass kid ..... not his fault.

just bad parenting

bingo

 

[Spectrum]

uh, ok I'm a little lost on this one, please elaborate.

Bad joke on my part..... "The Iron Fist"... so you would expect a stern response from someone with that name..

 

[Tha Iron Fist]

Bad joke on my part..... "The Iron Fist"... so you would expect a stern response from someone with that name..

ok,ok. I get cha. In real life I probably would have been harder on him than what I put actually. Seeing how my son is 6 he knows i'm not tolerating that kind of behavior.

 

[Colman]

I would have keep on reporting the sports just like he did.