What are the dating pre-reqs in this country

[Dannyblueyes]

The man said he in Oakland. You ever heard Dave Chappelle say "Welcome to Oakland bitch", it aint San Fran.- which one way out leads you through the Golden Gates right to San Quentin or the other to the Hood(Oakland, aka the dark void, aka dont come out at night) where most cats from there the farthest they go is San Quen. Aint no body wanna walk them hills in SF, where if you dont know how look out, you will end up under a trolley car or get caught in the area, them fools in China Town dont wanna hear about little Japan & them cats in Little Saigon just dont like others.

Danny- Hang out on Telegraph & University area & near berkeley; dont holla @ ghetto glams(or white hootchies that think they have black cootchie). There are a wide variety of people there & I'm sure you fair better than the losers on that strip. Get you some.

Thanks for the advice. I agree, the women around Berkeley/Temescal are some of the finest, most down to Earth women I've ever seen. That being said, approaching women cold off the street never seems to work out there. I don't like stepping to retailers since they're paid to be nice. Concerts and clubs are a little awkward since most girls attend in groups. Is there a better way to position myself around these women?

I considered moving out there but the rents are WAY too high. Oakland is also closer to school in Emeryville.

 

[jucurious]

It's because most women are hypocrites. They denounce some double standards and embrace the ones that favor them. You don't hear women complaining about reforming the female-biased family court system or complaining about how men pay for most dates or complain about how women can kill people and claim domestic abuse which no one questions and they get away with it. But you'll hear them complain about men not being up to standard or equal pay or other things.

hmmmm NERP i don't agree with this statement completely.

yeah ya do hear women complaining about the biased court system (me)

women on this site in previous threads (do a search) said that they wouldn't mind paying or going dutch (myself included)

also, the whole domestic violence thing varies by state...chics DEF get arrested in NJ and locked up for a long time for domestic violence.

and some men aren't up to some women's standards...same for some women not being up to the standards of men

and YES their def is an issue when it comes to equal pay

 

[jucurious]

I hope that this is not labeled misogynistic, but why does it seem that men have to already have the cars, clothes, etc., or at least be working towards those goals to even "approach" a woman, but women can have achieve nothing further than taking my order at KFC (with an attitude at that), have no ambition or goals, bring nothing to the table, but expect to pull above mentioned guy and "step up" in status?

hmmm my asshole answer would be...cuz the chic's ass looks phat in her KFC uniform and it hypnotized the dude. a dude will fuck w/ a chic who isn't about much if her bodies right j/k (somewhat)

but my "nice" answer would be...i don't know too many dudes personally who are messing with chics working at KFC while they are on their grind doing big things UNLESS its something sexual

iono...guess we have different experiences

 

[followup]

In Oakland, the black women are split up about 50:50 hoodrat:about-their-business. But black women slightly outnumber black men so that's working in your favor. All you need is a nice haircut, a nice smile, to be polite and to have CONFIDENCE. I swear it is that simple. Your appearance is important too. I know you said you just moved there, but you can't look goofy or like a mark. But you also don't want to try to look too thugged out because that doesn't seem to be your character (online). Since I have insomnia tonight, let me look for some stuff that would be acceptable there. *BRB*

 

[followup]

**nice but comfy shoes since you're gonna be kicking a lotta rocks**
The Ross store over on Powell Street is gonna be your best friend Take the bart over to MacArthur, then catch the Emery-Go-Round over to Emeryville

 

[followup]

I concur with my brothers in this thread about alleviating yourself of the whole "pre-req" thing...either you will be hustling for a gold digger or you'll never get a woman. I understand that the conditions vary from place to place, but I fail to see the frailty in having confidence and witty conversation in any location. If your confidence is intertwined with your pay grade, then I feel sorry for you, your "self" is shallow and as fragile as the dollar itself is. As far as "ruining your reputation" and all that, man, persistence pays in these states....

One more thing, don't over analyze the dating scene. It is not debate. It is not paper for class. It is biological and social. It doesn't care how logical you are, it only rewards those who get off the bench.

...just my dime and nickel....

Listen to this man!!!

I hope that this is not labeled misogynistic, but why does it seem that men have to already have the cars, clothes, etc., or at least be working towards those goals to even "approach" a woman, but women can have achieve nothing further than taking my order at KFC (with an attitude at that), have no ambition or goals, bring nothing to the table, but expect to pull above mentioned guy and "step up" in status?

Because, love it or hate it, most women want their man to be doing better than them. You'll hear a lot of women say "I want a man who is doing at least as well as me", but deep down most want a man in a better position in life. I think it all comes down to a man's role in a patriarchal society and it may also have to do with the historical hunting-and-gathering role--bringing home the bacon. Only now it's the materialistic things that SHOW a man is bringing it in.

The main exception I've seen is in college. Everybody's trying to make their own way and get educated. Boys & girls are on more of a level playing field & around the same age, so it's a little different. She might expect him to pay for lunch, or buy the coffee in the morning. The whole car & income business hasn't come into play yet, especially if both live on campus.

 

[Dannyblueyes]

**nice but comfy shoes since you're gonna be kicking a lotta rocks**
The Ross store over on Powell Street is gonna be your best friend Take the bart over to MacArthur, then catch the Emery-Go-Round over to Emeryville

LOL I just went to that Ross a couple days ago. Somehow I've never thought to look at the clothes though.

Normally I'm partial to Adidas shell toes, Ecko t-shirts, baggy Mecca jeans, and sometimes a fedora or pair of wraparounds to cut back the sun.

I will buy a couple pieces from those pictures to see if it makes a difference though. Maybe hit the weights at the rec center on Union street too.

 

[followup]

LOL I just went to that Ross a couple days ago. Somehow I've never thought to look at the clothes though.

Normally I'm partial to Adidas shell toes, Ecko t-shirts, baggy Mecca jeans, and sometimes a fedora or pair of wraparounds to cut back the sun.

I will buy a couple pieces from those pictures to see if it makes a difference though. Maybe hit the weights at the rec center on Union street too.

A nice T shirt, some sandals, whatever you're comfortable in. Just look nice and don't wear too many trendy things. A nice body and tight tummy doesn't hurt either LOL.

 

[Dannyblueyes]

See that's the thing. Preppy clothes remind me of church and those popular kids back in grade school. I feel very awkward wearing them which is why I usually don't. Do you think that makes a difference?

 

[Noir]

What is wrong with expecting someone to be working towards their goals? Isn't that the whole point?
It is unrealistic to want someone to have it all, especially if you (in this case, the woman) has little to offer. So in that case, you would be right.

I was specifically saying that potential by itself is nothing. You need ambition and hard work to get yourself to the point you ultimately want to be. That goes for both men and women.

There is nothing wrong with a woman expecting a man to at least be working towards goals. Perhaps the problem is with men not expecting the same of a woman? Are we men just settling for just a body?

It's because women have more dating options while men have more financial options.

That being said I have no problem dating a broke woman, but I have very little patience for a poor woman.

C/S That is the quote of the week

hmmm my asshole answer would be...cuz the chic's ass looks phat in her KFC uniform and it hypnotized the dude. a dude will fuck w/ a chic who isn't about much if her bodies right j/k (somewhat)

but my "nice" answer would be...i don't know too many dudes personally who are messing with chics working at KFC while they are on their grind doing big things UNLESS its something sexual

iono...guess we have different experiences

Wow, your asshole speaks! That would be interesting to see Just kidding! But seriously, there may be dudes willing to mess with the chic from KFC (and not only because of her phat ass). He may think that, "Hey, I work at McD's and I am trying to work towards my goals, she may be doing the same". But unfortunately, sometimes the only thing they are working on is using that body and not that mind.

 

[DragonXJC]

See what I don't understand, How come women demand a man to have a nice car and good job..and sometimes no kids? When usually the chick who's demanding, HAS NO CAR, WHACK/NO JOB, AND LIKE 2-3 KIDS WTF?!!.

I have a nice car, great job, and no kids, so I flip it on them. I don't fuck with bum bitches. She gotta have a ride, a good job, and no kids. Shit I made it this far without fucking up, I want my partner to be on the same shit.

 

[Crown&Coke]

There is nothing wrong with a woman expecting a man to at least be working towards goals. Perhaps the problem is with men not expecting the same of a woman? Are we men just settling for just a body?



C/S That is the quote of the week



Wow, your asshole speaks! That would be interesting to see Just kidding! But seriously, there may be dudes willing to mess with the chic from KFC (and not only because of her phat ass). He may think that, "Hey, I work at McD's and I am trying to work towards my goals, she may be doing the same". But unfortunately, sometimes the only thing they are working on is using that body and not that mind.

I think the problem is that most men dont care about shit other than bodies when it comes to women. I see it all the time. You ask them what the girl is doin with her life and he says nothing. Every thing thats wrong with her, the answer is "but she got a phat ass tho". I aint gonna lie, I used to be like that till I got in a serious relationship with somebody that wasnt doing shit with their life and was ok with it. It puts strains on the relationship.​

 

[Dannyblueyes]

Those do nothing women will only drag you down. They can't understand you fighting for your dream because they never had one of their own. My grandmother gave me $10,000 as a pre-inheritance. Plenty of things we could have done with it. Gone on a vacation, got out of debt, bought a car that didn't break down every other month, etc.

The problem was that my job didn't cover the family's expenses and my wife wasn't working so every single month that $10,000 got chipped away at. I was begging my wife to work at this point but she wasn't putting any effort into it. In the end I took a risk, quit my job, and took some shady telemarketing position to try to turn our shit around. That failed miserably and soon we were both out of work. It wasn't until that money was completely gone that she finally got off her ass and started applying (I had already got a steady job at that point, although it still wasn't making ends meet).

All I could think is that if I would have stayed single or married a woman who actually gave a fuck there's no telling what that money could have turned into. Instead it got wasted in the worst possible way. Not even a wild party to show for it.

 

[LeroyDibiase]

hmmmm NERP i don't agree with this statement completely.

yeah ya do hear women complaining about the biased court system (me)

women on this site in previous threads (do a search) said that they wouldn't mind paying or going dutch (myself included)

also, the whole domestic violence thing varies by state...chics DEF get arrested in NJ and locked up for a long time for domestic violence.

and some men aren't up to some women's standards...same for some women not being up to the standards of men

and YES their def is an issue when it comes to equal pay

Why do you keep making these weird ass sounds? Are you borderline retarded? One woman out of millions, JU, one out of millions. And if you think I take what SOL women say when it comes to their relationships/what they will or will not do seriously, then you're mistaken. Cause every chick on here is the "exception to the rule". And still, that's a very small percentage. ZZZZ, you didn't come close to refuting my statement.

 

[jucurious]

Why do you keep making these weird ass sounds? Are you borderline retarded? One woman out of millions, JU, one out of millions. And if you think I take what SOL women say when it comes to their relationships/what they will or will not do seriously, then you're mistaken. Cause every chick on here is the "exception to the rule". And still, that's a very small percentage. ZZZZ, you didn't come close to refuting my statement.

what weird sounds? and its not ONE out of millions

and EVERY chic on here AINT the exception to the rule you ass

 

[absolutvodka]

broads want a nigga with money and possesions but they want us to take them as is

basically fuck them and cheat on them, preferably with their friends or family members.

 

[Knasty]

You treat a bitch like a queen, then you'll get no where.

If you treat a Queen like a bitch... Then you'll get far

 

[followup]

If you treat a Queen like a bitch... Then you'll get far

A true queen would never let you treat her like a b****