well...lemme ask then damnit

[OnSlaught]

so im hearing here and alot of other places that women (specficly black women) dont know how to treat a black man right

well...how does a black man liked to be treated?

what is it exactly that black women neglect to do?

please educate me men on SOL

Oh and Desire, I know we've had our misunderstandings in the past, but I think the only thing you have to do to gain the respect and love of a good black man is be supportive of him in all things good. When he's going through his toughest times, you need to have his back. I think that's what's lacking with most women, not just black women.

 

[mbgxxx]

Stop treating your man like he is your second choice...
That will allow you treat him better..
realize that i dont like doing some shit for you and you dont like doing shit for me but its a team effort

 

[mrjody]

so im hearing here and alot of other places that women (specficly black women) dont know how to treat a black man right

well...how does a black man liked to be treated?

what is it exactly that black women neglect to do?

please educate me men on SOL

(assuming that you are a female)

I LOVE YOU FOR ASKING THIS QUESTION......

The selfish assed, me first,
"If you dont like my shitty attitude that means you hate black women" group
hasn't tried this one..

Then again, peacemaking isn't their strong suit...

An olive branch... whoda thunk it???

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

Oh and Desire, I know we've had our misunderstandings in the past, but I think the only thing you have to do to gain the respect and love of a good black man is be supportive of him in all things good. When he's going through his toughest times, you need to have his back. I think that's what's lacking with most women, not just black women.

What are we women supposed to do when you have tried to help the man get through those times and he still acts funny or pushes you away? Do we keep trying or just give up

 

[OnSlaught]

What are we women supposed to do when you have tried to help the man get through those times and he still acts funny or pushes you away? Do we keep trying or just give up

No, you give him space...I don't expect women to understand exactly what I or another black man (or any man) for that instance is going through, just like I don't expect to understand the nuances of being a woman. Bottom line is that men and women handle situations differently. Women sometimes act on things immediately, while the majority of men like to process the situation.

You ever think that it's not the help that the man needs but your understanding, support? Help and support are two entirely different things. Having someone's back means that you are with them in the situation, that you may even help, but that you are there for them WHEN they need you. There might not be anything you can do to help, but you can still be supportive.

 

[LoneStar29]

No, you give him space...I don't expect women to understand exactly what I or another black man (or any man) for that instance is going through, just like I don't expect to understand the nuances of being a woman. Bottom line is that men and women handle situations differently. Women sometimes act on things immediately, while the majority of men like to process the situation.

You ever think that it's not the help that the man needs but your understanding, support? Help and support are two entirely different things. Having someone's back means that you are with them in the situation, that you may even help, but that you are there for them WHEN they need you. There might not be anything you can do to help, but you can still be supportive.

I agree that women should be supportive of their man ... especially when he is trying to follow a dream ... even if it may not pay off financially like how you'd want it to ... as long as he's not neglecting the fam it should be all good

 

[DeSiRe]

thanks for all the responses everyone

while i was reading everything i was thinking to myself.."huh thats not too hard" or "thats not too much to ask"

who knew it was so simple

maybe the hard part is figuring out which guy u should be that girl to

 

[black again]

-Treat me with respect
-No double standards, dont do anything you wouldnt want me to do
-Learn the difference between an argument and a discussion, I rarely argue
-Dont talk at me or down to me
-Dont be mad becuz my opinion on something might be different
-Dont assume the worse about me without reason
-I can cook and clean, so you should too, I will do it sometimes and you can do it sometimes
-Be open minded, willing to try new things
-Dont talk like you running shit to try to look good in front of your friends
-Be there when I need you to be there for me

Man, this pretty much covers the basics. This is no-brainer ish!

 

[followup]

This thread is so insightful. Thanks men

 

[AlexandMorgan]

thanks for all the responses everyone

while i was reading everything i was thinking to myself.."huh thats not too hard" or "thats not too much to ask"

who knew it was so simple

maybe the hard part is figuring out which guy u should be that girl to

Do not go with the guy who promises to tear your pussy up. It is not made of paper. Bragging is usually just a show of bravado and may not be accompanied by the action and fireworks he promises.

A man who says what he does and does what he says. Anybody can promise anything but can they deliver on what they promise.

The guy who listens to you and actually hears what you are saying. Body language is often a dead giveaway to dishonesty and inattention.

The guy who you are attracted to physically and mentally. Physical intercourse is a wonderful thing but if you and the guy have no emotional intercourse then you and him can not have a healthy relationship.

Selfless and not selfish. Does he serve himself first and does everything he wants come first all the time. You want someone who has plans for their future and is willing to work to achieve what he wants.

Some of these things you may agree with and some you may not but know what you want out of life before you commit yourself to anyone else.

 

[Marylandboatman]

1. Don't seem like you only interested in what he does and his wallet.
2. Don't push your tits half out your dress and get mad if he looks.
3. Be honest about everthing, on the first date he can handle anything, another old man, ex babies. He needs to know these thing before sex or the second date.
4. Treat the first date like an interview, one chance to make a first impression, what you what in a man ie time, education, future.
5. How well you handle womanly duties,or thing he thinks you should do, not just sex.
6. Ask him how he handles manly things, or things you feel a man should do.
7. Where you each what to be in ten years and has your past behaivor lead in that direction.
8. If either of you can not handle this conversation, you with the wrong person if you are looking for a relationship.
9. Looking for booty call anything goes except sickness.

 

[Mo-Better]

This has never been a problem for me. I've always treated women I've dated with respect regardless of if I intended to see them again or not. So for me its very simple, carry yourself with class, treat me with the same respect I give you and we will have a great time.

Now if for some reason there's a problem then I believe in putting things back where I found them when I'm finished using them, I will do this quick, fast and in a hurry. I have no time for childish games or behaviour.

 

[AristotlesOwn]

Raises eyebrow.

Me i want to be treated with respect. Try listening to all of what i have to say instead of hearing what you want to pick out and attack. Do not blame me for the fools that went before me. Stop talking about sex with your ex or his dick like it belongs in a shrine. Do not hold me to standards that you yourself or no man you have ever been with could not achieve.

Look at the size of my heart and not the size of my wallet. If you have a problem communicate it to me and not your family and girlfriends. Talk to me not at me.I have no problem with you having male friends but if they invite you out and not us as a couple you can go and have fun but do not expect me to be there when you get back home.

If that helps.

co-sizzle

If you can cook, that's the icing on the cake but I don't expect it.

 

[AristotlesOwn]

I also want to add that giving a man some space when he needs it will go along way. He'll be that much more accessible to you emotionally and be less guarded overall if you don't try to force him to spend time or talk with you at every waking moment. I see this in my parents; that's probably why they're still together after all these years.

 

[youngfree]

I have never dated anything but black women, and they could all cook, treat me good and all had good heads on them. Any one who says black women don't treat black men good needs to stop fuckin with rats!