Congrats to the winner and all those who managed to complete and submit a story!
VOTE! - BGOL Writing Contest #5: Revenge/Payback Story
- Thread starter godofwine
- Start date
My bad. I did a cut and paste because I didn't want to spell any names wrong and it didn't copy. My bad. Dannyblueyes's Mindy's Men had me worried about the gold. I kept refreshing it and he kept gaining votes it seemed every time I refreshed it.
When is the next one?
Man, shit. It took two extensions to get folks to write stories for this one. If you want to do another one I'd wait until summer. It seems motherfuckers are busy. It was easy for me. I'm single and got school, but I got a job in front of a computer all day and I'm quick with the ALT+TAB, but some other folks don't have as much time to spare. Whenever it is I'll join. I love the practice
At the end it left me thinking if Mindy's men could go beyond those two characters since she is a po. How many other excons could/has she set-up to do her dirty work. It felt like it could be a tv series.
I like it. Are you down to collaborate on a pilot?
That would not be a bad idea. A good short story some times can turn into a helluva novel because the idea is just that good.
Thanks. I'm not so sure about a novel yet, but a pilot could work. I've worked and collaborated with published screenwriters who have offered to help me sell my work, but I've had trouble locking down a decent first draft (The furthest I've gotten is 50 pages).
So the first thing I need is a collaborator that can help get the project to this stage.
Mindy's character is based largely on the few stories stories that the real life Tyrell told me about his own PO. To be a weekly adventure I need more info. Does anyone know of a real life parole officer that would be willing to conduct an informational interview?
I'm going to try to do analysis, but I really don't know how to do it so I am just going to do it.
3 Days - this was a really hard read because of the structure. The way it was built in like 5 gigantic paragraphs it had Colin Powell written all over it. If it was structured better the flow would have been much better. The thing about paragraphs is if it looks too long then it is - break it up. I try to make it no more than 8 if I can.
I see The Agency written in this, but being hard to follow kills what seemed like a good story. The race for the #1 Spot, the last chance to redeem ones self. I get it. Also, mixing up "wheelman" and using a different term to ease back on the repetitiveness. My teacher caught me doing that this past semester and pulled my ear even if it was in different but close paragraphs.
Good visuals, but need to improve sentence structure if you intend to get folks to read it, because if they Colin Powell'd your story off of the look of...wow, you lost your reader, and you want to draw them in. With the structure like you did it hurts you if you lose your place - you don't know where you lost it. Sentence/paragraph structure helps it to be easier to read. Yes it will be longer as far as pages, but it will be more inviting.
3 Days - this was a really hard read because of the structure. The way it was built in like 5 gigantic paragraphs it had Colin Powell written all over it. If it was structured better the flow would have been much better. The thing about paragraphs is if it looks too long then it is - break it up. I try to make it no more than 8 if I can.
I see The Agency written in this, but being hard to follow kills what seemed like a good story. The race for the #1 Spot, the last chance to redeem ones self. I get it. Also, mixing up "wheelman" and using a different term to ease back on the repetitiveness. My teacher caught me doing that this past semester and pulled my ear even if it was in different but close paragraphs.
Good visuals, but need to improve sentence structure if you intend to get folks to read it, because if they Colin Powell'd your story off of the look of...wow, you lost your reader, and you want to draw them in. With the structure like you did it hurts you if you lose your place - you don't know where you lost it. Sentence/paragraph structure helps it to be easier to read. Yes it will be longer as far as pages, but it will be more inviting.
So when is the next one?
I don't know, it depends on who's interested. I can knock something out. What do you think the subject should be?
We haven't had one in ten years. It's unfortunate,I wont participate since I have Covid.
We haven't had one in ten years. It's unfortunate,I wont participate since I have Covid.
We haven't had one in ten years. It's unfortunate,I wont participate since I have Covid.
Not sure I’d participate in writing— maybe but not committing— but I’ll certainly contribute by reading and commenting.
Three potential themes:
- An alternate history
- The existence or inexistence of Karma
- Generational trauma or influence
Alright, we had seven entries in the Revenge/Payback Writing Contest. Read them all and vote on which one you like. I am going to have the voting open for 13 days to give folks a chance to read each story
Theme: Revenge - Give us your best revenge/payback story.
Length: 3000 words max.
The Entries Are:
First Prize:End of a Nightmare - godofwine
Second Prize:Mindy's Men - Dannyblueyes
Third Prize:Mwendani, the Palace Guard - ouruko
3 Days - Damian Stone
http://67.18.219.83/image_hosting/web_pages/godofwine77/BGOL_Revenge/3_days.pdf
or
http://freetexthost.com/jw6onp6g60
Best Served Cold - Winslow Wong
http://67.18.219.83/image_hosting/web_pages/godofwine77/BGOL_Revenge/Best_Served_Cold.pdf
or
http://freetexthost.com/i6hc02oqjc
End of a Nightmare - godofwine
http://67.18.219.83/image_hosting/web_pages/godofwine77/BGOL_Revenge/End_of_a_Nightmare.pdf
or
http://freetexthost.com/omoxpaxgsf
I Still Love Her - largebillsonlyplease
http://67.18.219.83/image_hosting/web_pages/godofwine77/BGOL_Revenge/Istillloveher.pdf
or
http://freetexthost.com/fkpwjtsrmv
Life is Cheap, Death is Expensive - Mello Mello
http://67.18.219.83/image_hosting/w...enge/Life_Is_Cheap_and_Death_Is_Expensive.pdf
Mindy's Men - Dannyblueyes
http://67.18.219.83/image_hosting/web_pages/godofwine77/BGOL_Revenge/Mindys_Men.pdf
or
http://freetexthost.com/ektajnddx1
Mwendani, the Palace Guard - ouruko
http://67.18.219.83/image_hosting/web_pages/godofwine77/BGOL_Revenge/Mwendani_the_Palace_Guard.pdf
or
http://freetexthost.com/ey4qh1b1ks
The fam put a lot of work in to this. Take some time, give props, vote.
Do you still happen to have the text for these or previous rounds of the contest?
We can set it for some time in October when you feel better if you want to do it.
I have some of them. It's a shame that the links no longer work
I would suggest that you write. Why not man? I know we all got a lot of stuff going on, I said a deadline on my novel and sending it to the copy editor by this Wednesday. Fixing continuity errors
But still, you should do it. I wouldn't be mad at the alternate history theme. That has spawned a few good ideas so far in my head
I'll bring this up again when I get back home on the 1st of October