****** Use Common Sense, Black Women!! ******
- Thread starter Mr. Met
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The knowledge is POWERFUL in this post. However, it will only have less than 10 responses.
Why do you think so
This man has some excellent points and it is nothing that a mother should not have conveyed to her daughter a long time ago. Sometimes we get twisted about the messenger rather than the message.
I disagree on the "taking control of one's sexuality" slant. Being in control of your sexuality means understanding boundaries and choices. A woman in control does not confuse sex with love nor see sex as a vehicle to hook a man by getting pregnant. Repeated (cuz hey shit happens. My aunt was supposedly sterile and got pregnant at 38!) unplanned pregnancies point to a woman who is sexually out of control in my opinion...and I have yet to take the advice of a white feminist lesbian
Good post 9.
Why do you think so
This man has some excellent points and it is nothing that a mother should not have conveyed to her daughter a long time ago. Sometimes we get twisted about the messenger rather than the message.
I disagree on the "taking control of one's sexuality" slant. Being in control of your sexuality means understanding boundaries and choices. A woman in control does not confuse sex with love nor see sex as a vehicle to hook a man by getting pregnant. Repeated (cuz hey shit happens. My aunt was supposedly sterile and got pregnant at 38!) unplanned pregnancies point to a woman who is sexually out of control in my opinion...and I have yet to take the advice of a white feminist lesbian
Good post 9.
I like how you didn't get reactionary and emotional and replied in a calm and well-rhoughtout manner. The reason I don't think it will get a lot of responses is that from what I see, if it isn't dick pics or a sex thread, it just falls away.
I've always felt that men were very responsible for the disintergration of the Black family unit; however, women too play an intregal part in the equation. Unfortunately, you have a rash of women making bad pussy choices and having babies to keep sorry men. If women put the goods on lock, men would shape up. Much like they say men settle for fat women and that is why some women wont get in shape; the same can be said for women who settle for trifling, sorry, lazy, shiftless negroes who have no motivation to change because they can still get some trim.
It's SOL- ladies like to look too. Thanks, I understand what you are getting at. I agree with you. WE have to do better with our young people, and our grown folks that are old enough to know better but don't do better. Education and self-esteem building can head a lot of problems off.
I don't buy the "aspirin" approach. Abstinence is best,but rather than make young people ashamed of sex (not accusing the man in the video of proposing that but that seems to be the other extreme) educate people on the responsibility being sexually active involves beyond insert dick A into pussy B.
I agree with you. WE have to do better with our young people, and our grown folks that are old enough to know better but don't do better. Education and self-esteem building can head a lot of problems off.
I don't buy the "aspirin" approach. Abstinence is best,but rather than make young people ashamed of sex (not accusing the man in the video of proposing that but that seems to be the other extreme) educate people on the responsibility being sexually active involves beyond insert dick A into pussy B.
You hit it right on the head..In terms of our current state as African Americans and the black family, we tend to finger point and play the blame game, when both men and women are equally responsible for their poor decision making and lack of critical thinking skills. It is not only important that we educate our youth, but that we lead by example ("Do as I say but not as I do" is some bs that just won't cut it), we need to stop giving our children mixed messages, and learn from our own mistakes, because there tends to be a vicious cycle, and we past on our lack of self-love and self-discipline to our children... Our sons and daughters dont grow up to be men and women, just bigger boys and girls.. We are living in a world of quick fixes and instant gratification so much so that we are not preparing ourselves our children for the long-term consequences of our actions, and often times, our inactions... Because of this, we are in a reactive state instead of taking a proactive stance. When we learn to love ourselves we protect ourselves from bull shit, bad decision making, and from those who dont love us as well...
Absolutely co-sign 1000X
I had a similar discussion with some other women and they seemed stuck on "what does it matter if you love yourself and men still aren't shit"
What a hot mess!
As for your first point, that's not entirely true. There are plenty of conscious people who care about this type of thing, but we must remember that this site is primarily for entertainment.
Your second point I agree with wholeheartedly. I talk a lot of mess and love sex, but at the end of the day, I realize that if women put an end to the free flow of 'goods', men collectively would start to look at women in a different light. A man will realize that he has to come correct like they did back in the day when my parents got together. I think my maternal grandfather would have shot my father if he tried to pull the craziness that occurs these days. For the black family structure to have any hope of survival, this revolution needs to happen. The question is how do you reverse the tide and reprogram the collective conscience?
The vid was powerful brotha
Absolutely co-sign 1000X
I had a similar discussion with some other women and they seemed stuck on "what does it matter if you love yourself and men still aren't shit"
What a hot mess!
Yes, I know women who take that same position. Loving yourself is not about keeping a man, its about keeping your sense of self-worth. When women come to me and say that they attract the wrong men or there are no good black man out there.. I ask them, what is a good black men? and what makes you deserving of one? I have learned that once you love yourself, you have a certain aura, and that energy draws in those with similar energy and weeds out those who don't possess it... So I say to those women, look on the inside before you started pointing outside....
Me and you are right there sis. I really believe in the law of attraction. BE what you want- and not just some surface material things hair nails clothes shit, but really dig deep and understand one attracts what one reflects when you CHOOSE to mate. We will all meet some crazy people when single and dating but if you choose to stay with a crazy person and procreate that says the most about where your head and heart were at the time. It doesn't make you a bad person. None of us is infallible and perfect, but we need to learn and grow from our poor decisions and not end up being the sole caretaker of 4 kids by different men (essentially the same triflin ass man in a different body).
Preach! It is one my missions in life to start programs for young black girls and their mothers, we need to work at both ends in order to make these things better. So many times these young sistahs grow up without a man in their lives, that they are willing to do anything to keep one in their lives when the opportunity presents itself... Then on the other spectrum we have the sistahs who have managed to become educated or extremely snobbish to the extent that they are driven by the superficial-he has to have this in the bank, drive this car, have this many degrees he has to be " on my level", well duh, if you keep attracting the same type of superficial bull shit ass man, what does that say about the level you are on???.....
Ok, i listened to this lecture 3 times. His points are somewhat valid in that black women need to take responsibility for what can happen to her body.
I have a difficult time in understanding where the black man's responsibility is. Does it still not take a sperm and egg to make a child? Where dose the black man come into this equation? It's not enough that the birth control, pregnancy, emotional, financial, housing, school, job, day care... all falls on the woman's shoulder. Is the black man ever expected step up?
You know that as far back as i can remember from my own childhood i've lived in a matriarchal society/environment. While doing a genogram i've seen the continuous lack of marriage made and ACCEPTED by most of the women in my family and West Indies.
I can't type any more too pissed
I have a difficult time in understanding where the black man's responsibility is. Does it still not take a sperm and egg to make a child? Where dose the black man come into this equation? It's not enough that the birth control, pregnancy, emotional, financial, housing, school, job, day care... all falls on the woman's shoulder. Is the black man ever expected step up?
You know that as far back as i can remember from my own childhood i've lived in a matriarchal society/environment. While doing a genogram i've seen the continuous lack of marriage made and ACCEPTED by most of the women in my family and West Indies.
I can't type any more too pissed
Absolutely this has to be done, but the vid speaker I think is trying to focus in on one side of the equation. 9*3 does he have a vid addressing men and fatherhood? It would be good to post for balance.
I think the speaker presents a "in the meantime" approach. We all have to do better as a community, but in the meantime lets not let our girls continue to find themselves in situations that increase their struggle and those of their children 10 fold if we can prevent it while we work on all the other stuff.
Men need to be responsible fathers period.It's not right that a man should feel he can stick his dick into every hole raw and not take responsibility, but there are many that will. Can we teach our girls self-esteem and worth to be one less hole begging to be filled because of a desire to feel "loved" and then bearing multiple children by boys that haven't a clue what it means to love and honor themsleves, a woman, or their own offspring.
It's not a perfect plan, it's by no mean a "solution" to the hot bumblefuck train wreck that the black family has dissolved into, but it's a start.
Ok.. how many Kids Does this man have that he dont take care of because of this bullshit... lol he e-mailing them copies of this shit?
Ok.. how many Kids Does this man have that he dont take care of because of this bullshit... lol he e-mailing them copies of this shit?
Now that would just be dead wrong.