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The Nice Nigga Theory (SOL)

tuckdog

tuckdog

Rising Star
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Ladies, I would like your input in this conversation as well...

http://www.bgol.us/board/showthread.php?t=553813

tuckdog said:
Disclaimer: This is not intended to be a black women bashing thread. I have love for all black women and I am just asking a question that has perplexed me for as long as I remember. Ladies, I would like your input just as much as I would like the fellas input. :cool:

Ok fam. We've all gotten our laugh on this Christmas thanks to LES's thread and Ten's devious ass bumping his year old thread. However, the thread sparked an interesting question. Why do women, especially black women, prefer players and thugs over "nice guys"?

Speaking from personal experiences, I was once the "nice guy". I was raised solely by my mother, who I adored, and she taught me all about being respectful, loving, and caring towards other women. When I was old enough to start pursuing girls, this is how I carried myself towards them. From about 11 to 16, I was the nigga writing poems, opening doors, and just being an overall good dude to chicks thinking that's what they want (moms is never wrong right?).

Needless to say, that shit got me nowhere. Around 15/16 I started hanging out with older cats, listening to there stories, and they schooled me on what I was doing wrong. The niggas that treated girls like absolute shit had to beat them off with a stick just to walk the streets. At the same time, I began listening to my mother and her friends when they in the crib sippin E&J, and I would always hear them talking about how a nigga was too nice for them, and they wouldn't be calling them back.

I collected all this info, and rearranged my whole steez. Of course, when I stopped taking chicks calls, talking to other broads right in front of the chicks that I was messing with, and acting like a complete asshole, my dating life did a complete 360.

To make a very long story short, I'm out of the dating game and happily married, but that question has never left my mind. Why do a lot of women like to be treated like shit? And fellas, when did you realize that the "nice guy" role wasn't cutting it, and what did you do about it? :cool:
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I suggest you rewrite this and come up with a better title. The potential is there for an good discussion but not how this is worded. :thumbsdown:
 
Mo-Better said:
I suggest you rewrite this and come up with a better title. The potential is there for an good discussion but not how this is worded. :thumbsdown:
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I can't rewrite my own experiences. If you look at the thread on the main board, a lot of cats came with varying experiences on the same subject, and it has been an interesting discussion. The title is good and I spoke from the heart. Don't let the two females who commented here influence your response. Followup is an angry female period. A nice nigga nor a thug nigga would get at her because she PMS's throughout the month. As far as SS goes, cats on the board know just what kind of dude she goes for. Her opinion was not sought. :cool:
 
tuckdog said:
I can't rewrite my own experiences. If you look at the thread on the main board, a lot of cats came with varying experiences on the same subject, and it has been an interesting discussion. The title is good and I spoke from the heart. Don't let the two females who commented here influence your response. Followup is an angry female period. A nice nigga nor a thug nigga would get at her because she PMS's throughout the month. As far as SS goes, cats on the board know just what kind of dude she goes for. Her opinion was not sought. :cool:
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This is not the main board your method of "expression" is what's igniting negative responses. Then you attack the women who have responded. BTW if your "dating life did a complete 360, you changed nothing you have to figure that one out.

:cmonson:
 
It's how it's delivered. This comes off as a bit whiney to me. I'm kind of off put by the whole whiney guy act. "Ohhh boo hoo i was a nice guy, i did this and that and i liked women, and i respected them...." Waaaah. That's how it comes across to me. The reason why? Because this is the same song and dance i've been hearing from so called "nice" guys for a minute now. And what they consider "nice". I may have a tendency to call weak.

My question is this...."Why not be balanced?" No women don't want a thug. But then they don't want a push over either.

Most guys will say, don't mistake my blah for blah. Kindness i think they usually say. But it's that same idea of what you call kindness that to many females is a weakness.

If you're old enough, why should you care? If you're in your mid 30's you shouldn't be concerned about being a nice guy or whatever. You should be you, and you should know an realize a WOMAN worth something,...not a GIRL...Not just a FEMALE...But a WOMAN worth something is going to make herself presentable to you. In order for you to be with.

If you are then you should be. Those guys on BGOL seem to me like hurt puppies. Scarred by their mothers and lashing out at every other female that comes along into their lives.

I still say people should stay in their lanes. For the most part. You'll never be happy without those fundamental things to ground you.
 
I always believe there were a lot of women/girls you overlooked. Just like men claim to be overlooked by women, dudes will turn around and do the same thing.

I know because I was one of those overlooked girls. I would've loved to have been wooed by a young polite man, but I was not. I was overlooked for the pretty bitches that were full of drama and turmoil with sharpened, slick manicures to match their sharpened and slick tongues.


so, for every "nice nigga" story, there's a "nice girl" story too.
 
Legacy_Infinity said:
It's how it's delivered. This comes off as a bit whiney to me. I'm kind of off put by the whole whiney guy act. "Ohhh boo hoo i was a nice guy, i did this and that and i liked women, and i respected them...." Waaaah. That's how it comes across to me. The reason why? Because this is the same song and dance i've been hearing from so called "nice" guys for a minute now. And what they consider "nice". I may have a tendency to call weak. ...

Most guys will say, don't mistake my blah for blah. Kindness i think they usually say. But it's that same idea of what you call kindness that to many females is a weakness.
Click to expand...


Can you please elaborate? I’m interested to know how you define strength and how you define weakness. I’m also interested to see how men define those ideas differently.

I think a lot of young people get their notions of (black) masculinity from gangster rap, but exactly what is a thug to you?
 
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Ciel said:
I always believe there were a lot of women/girls you overlooked. Just like men claim to be overlooked by women, dudes will turn around and do the same thing.

I know because I was one of those overlooked girls. I would've loved to have been wooed by a young polite man, but I was not. I was overlooked for the pretty bitches that were full of drama and turmoil with sharpened, slick manicures to match their sharpened and slick tongues.


so, for every "nice nigga" story, there's a "nice girl" story too.
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And this is what i'm talking about from the beginnnningggggg. Like didn't stay with like. You got all those "nice guys" over looking the "nice girls" for the big Booty Judy's. Wanting to chase after the little hoodrats. You'll have the guys say, nay nay. They will say they went after the nice girls but the nice girls wanted the bad guys.

I don't think this is so. I think the nice girls wanted or would have taken just about anyone who approached them. Nice girls aren't aggressive or usually sexually active.

I've also heard from guys that they can't be blamed for liking the sexually active chicks. Interesting ways.
 
mark113 said:
[/B]

Can you please elaborate? I’m interested to know how you define strength and how you define weakness. I’m also interested to see how men define those ideas differently.

I think a lot of young people get their notions of (black) masculinity from gangster rap, but exactly what is a thug to you?
Click to expand...

Type A Nice Guy - a good guy who's nice and respectful to women, but isn't a pushover. Isn't going to stand around and let anyone jack him up. Mistreat him. He's quiet and unassuming but if you push him he will defend himself in all areas.

Type B Nice Guy - The type A but is pretty weak and will get walked over. He pines and whines. He wails and moans. Whoa is me. he's the introverted guy who didn't know how to talk to women. He had no personality to attract women. We know this guy. Most nice guys? Tend to fall into this category. But will claim Type A status.

Thug A - A real sick twisted perverse individual. A blight, a cancer. No sense of concern for himself, or anyone else around him. This guy attracts women on a base level. This guy exudes masculinity in a WAY. Not the type we need but it still calls to alot of females, because his essence says "I will Protect you. I will impregnate you with strong children."

Thug B - Wants to portray himself like Thug A but really he's a somewhat realized Type B Nice Guy. he thinks if he acts like Thug A he will get the women. And he's mildly successful. Until the females he targeted figures out he's Type B Nice Guy and respond as they are wont to do.
 
mark113 said:
[/B]

Can you please elaborate? I’m interested to know how you define strength and how you define weakness. I’m also interested to see how men define those ideas differently.

I think a lot of young people get their notions of (black) masculinity from gangster rap, but exactly what is a thug to you?
Click to expand...

Type A Nice Guy - a good guy who's nice and respectful to women, but isn't a pushover. Isn't going to stand around and let anyone jack him up. Mistreat him. He's quiet and unassuming but if you push him he will defend himself in all areas.

Type B Nice Guy - The type A but is pretty weak and will get walked over. He pines and whines. He wails and moans. Whoa is me. he's the introverted guy who didn't know how to talk to women. He had no personality to attract women. We know this guy. Most nice guys? Tend to fall into this category. But will claim Type A status.

Thug A - A real sick twisted perverse individual. A blight, a cancer. No sense of concern for himself, or anyone else around him. This guy attracts women on a base level. This guy exudes masculinity in a WAY. Not the type we need but it still calls to alot of females, because his essence says "I will Protect you. I will impregnate you with strong children."

Thug B - Wants to portray himself like Thug A but really he's a somewhat realized Type B Nice Guy. he thinks if he acts like Thug A he will get the women. And he's mildly successful. Until the females he targeted figures out he's Type B Nice Guy and respond as they are wont to do.
 
Ciel said:
I always believe there were a lot of women/girls you overlooked. Just like men claim to be overlooked by women, dudes will turn around and do the same thing.

I know because I was one of those overlooked girls. I would've loved to have been wooed by a young polite man, but I was not. I was overlooked for the pretty bitches that were full of drama and turmoil with sharpened, slick manicures to match their sharpened and slick tongues.


so, for every "nice nigga" story, there's a "nice girl" story too.
Click to expand...

apparently, i am guilty of overlooking chicks in college...in my defense, i didn't even know.
 
Legacy_Infinity said:
It's how it's delivered. This comes off as a bit whiney to me. I'm kind of off put by the whole whiney guy act. "Ohhh boo hoo i was a nice guy, i did this and that and i liked women, and i respected them...." Waaaah. That's how it comes across to me. The reason why? Because this is the same song and dance i've been hearing from so called "nice" guys for a minute now. And what they consider "nice". I may have a tendency to call weak.

My question is this...."Why not be balanced?" No women don't want a thug. But then they don't want a push over either.

Most guys will say, don't mistake my blah for blah. Kindness i think they usually say. But it's that same idea of what you call kindness that to many females is a weakness.

If you're old enough, why should you care? If you're in your mid 30's you shouldn't be concerned about being a nice guy or whatever. You should be you, and you should know an realize a WOMAN worth something,...not a GIRL...Not just a FEMALE...But a WOMAN worth something is going to make herself presentable to you. In order for you to be with.

If you are then you should be. Those guys on BGOL seem to me like hurt puppies. Scarred by their mothers and lashing out at every other female that comes along into their lives.

I still say people should stay in their lanes. For the most part. You'll never be happy without those fundamental things to ground you.
Click to expand...

If dating and marriage was easy everyone would have someone but it's not the case. Truth is some men will complain because they don't understand women, others will complain since women have a straighter path in life without the distractions that men usually have. You can't call men whiners without seeing the obvious differences between women and men such as, socially, sexually and financial differences that seperate us.

Until you're a hunter trying to catch prey, you really shouldn't talk at all.


Sent from my PC36100 using Tapatalk
 
Mo-Better said:
This is not the main board your method of "expression" is what's igniting negative responses. Then you attack the women who have responded. BTW if your "dating life did a complete 360, you changed nothing you have to figure that one out.
:cmonson:
Click to expand...

Good correction. I saw it but I was going to leave it:D.

Legacy_Infinity said:
Type A Nice Guy - a good guy who's nice and respectful to women, but isn't a pushover. Isn't going to stand around and let anyone jack him up. Mistreat him. He's quiet and unassuming but if you push him he will defend himself in all areas.

Type B Nice Guy - The type A but is pretty weak and will get walked over. He pines and whines. He wails and moans. Whoa is me. he's the introverted guy who didn't know how to talk to women. He had no personality to attract women. We know this guy. Most nice guys? Tend to fall into this category. But will claim Type A status.

Thug A - A real sick twisted perverse individual. A blight, a cancer. No sense of concern for himself, or anyone else around him. This guy attracts women on a base level. This guy exudes masculinity in a WAY. Not the type we need but it still calls to alot of females, because his essence says "I will Protect you. I will impregnate you with strong children."

Thug B - Wants to portray himself like Thug A but really he's a somewhat realized Type B Nice Guy. he thinks if he acts like Thug A he will get the women. And he's mildly successful. Until the females he targeted figures out he's Type B Nice Guy and respond as they are wont to do.
Click to expand...

Not bad, Legacy. Not bad at all.



Reading the first couple responses made me think.
I know everyone has their own sensitivities but this is still a porn board. Even on this sub forum, it's not the best place to expect too much accomodation.
 
Upgrade Dave said:
Good correction. I saw it but I was going to leave it:D.
Click to expand...

Yeah, he caught me slipping there.


Upgrade Dave said:
Not bad, Legacy. Not bad at all.

Reading the first couple responses made me think.
I know everyone has their own sensitivities but this is still a porn board. Even on this sub forum, it's not the best place to expect too much accomodation.
Click to expand...

Actually Dave, the thread is on the main board and last time I checked it was 8 pages long with tons of excellent responses. I rushed the original post on some stream of consciousness, just getting my thoughts out shit, but the intention of the thread has been fully realized. Check it out. :yes: :cool:
 
tuckdog said:
Yeah, he caught me slipping there.
Click to expand...

:DIt's a common mistake, like when people say "I could care less" when what they mean is "I couldn't care less".




Actually Dave, the thread is on the main board and last time I checked it was 8 pages long with tons of excellent responses. I rushed the original post on some stream of consciousness, just getting my thoughts out shit, but the intention of the thread has been fully realized. Check it out. :yes: :cool:
Click to expand...

I saw it over there but it was already too long for me to jump into.
 
tuckdog said:
I can't rewrite my own experiences. If you look at the thread on the main board, a lot of cats came with varying experiences on the same subject, and it has been an interesting discussion. The title is good and I spoke from the heart. Don't let the two females who commented here influence your response. Followup is an angry female period. A nice nigga nor a thug nigga would get at her because she PMS's throughout the month. As far as SS goes, cats on the board know just what kind of dude she goes for. Her opinion was not sought. :cool:
Click to expand...

What the fuck ever,maybe if you would have worded the title right you would have received a different response. If you want to be like the rest of the sheep on this board and believe all that bullshit so be it.
 
Mo-Better said:
This is not the main board your method of "expression" is what's igniting negative responses. Then you attack the women who have responded. BTW if your "dating life did a complete 360, you changed nothing you have to figure that one out.

:cmonson:
Click to expand...

Thank you:yes:
 
SEXY_SCORPIO said:
What the fuck ever,maybe if you would have worded the title right you would have received a different response. If you want to be like the rest of the sheep on this board and believe all that bullshit so be it.
Click to expand...

The thread title worked out perfectly and the response I was looking for was received. Like I said, your opinion was never sought.
 
SEXY_SCORPIO said:
Like I said,then dont post on here,u sound like a fool picking and choosing who can comment on what:hmm:
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You are right. I've sounded like a fool in my own thread. I apologize to you and followup for the comments made. Especially my comments towards you because they were based on rumors and hearsay.

It's your choice to like a thread or not and I was wrong for attacking you for merely stating your opinions. Please accept my most humble apology. :)
 
tuckdog said:
You are right. I've sounded like a fool in my own thread. I apologize to you and followup for the comments made. Especially my comments towards you because they were based on rumors and hearsay.

It's your choice to like a thread or not and I was wrong for attacking you for merely stating your opinions. Please accept my most humble apology. :)
Click to expand...

:D,apology accepted. Thank you;)
 
The difference in dating between men and women will never be seen, it's best to just leave it alone and come up with your own conclusion. Women have more options and choices and most men will. Never really understand.

Sent from my PC36100 using Tapatalk
 
tuckdog said:
You are right. I've sounded like a fool in my own thread. I apologize to you and followup for the comments made. Especially my comments towards you because they were based on rumors and hearsay.

It's your choice to like a thread or not and I was wrong for attacking you for merely stating your opinions. Please accept my most humble apology. :)
Click to expand...

SEXY_SCORPIO said:
:D,apology accepted. Thank you;)
Click to expand...

Is there a smiley for "Awwwww"? I almost shed a tear. That was nice, tuck.

Now she won't date your nice ass, nigga.:D
 

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