Sunday Conversation: Have Your Parent(s) failed YOU?

[M.H.C.]

Topic: How You Grew Up vs How You Respect Yourself and How You View/Respect Men


Okay so a lot men(and women) have capitalized from failed parenting in one way or the other. Not to say that it is right but it is what it is. Many of you would have stated that a lot of mothers and fathers have failed many of today's generation and that is the cause of much infidelity, lack of love/relationships, promiscuity, etc. Of course it isn't best to assume that parenting is the only cause because there are a lot of different factors.

So, with that said, refer to how you treat men and youself so that you can answer this question:

Have your parent(s) failed you? Does your self-respect and your respect for men reflect what your parent(s) have taught you? Or did you deviate? If so, was the deviation for the better?

Inquiring minds want to know.

 

[onyxfemme]

I think I am just one of those people that by nature, I take knowledge from whomever I am around.
I mean-My moms-I lover her. She taught me street smarts & to never demean a man I love manhood. On the other hand she is the best cook ever! Ummmmm I can cook, but I dont...I HATE IT!

My dad-awwww I love him I learned from him that there are good men in the world. He for the most part let my mom run the household but when he gets mad or puts his foot down-IT's DONE!
He taught me to believe and trust in my heart and how to have tolerance.


To sum it up-My parents didnt fail me. I am too old to say anything negative that my parents did would have a impact on my life now w/ me, my fiance or my children.


Good topic I was going to respond to this on the main board

 

[M.H.C.]

I think I am just one of those people that by nature, I take knowledge from whomever I am around.
I mean-My moms-I lover her. She taught me street smarts & to never demean a man I love manhood. On the other hand she is the best cook ever! Ummmmm I can cook, but I dont...I HATE IT!

My dad-awwww I love him I learned from him that there are good men in the world. He for the most part let my mom run the household but when he gets mad or puts his foot down-IT's DONE!
He taught me to believe and trust in my heart and how to have tolerance.


To sum it up-My parents didnt fail me. I am too old to say anything negative that my parents did would have a impact on my life now w/ me, my fiance or my children.


Good topic I was going to respond to this on the main board

This is what I like to see.

 

[jucurious]

Topic: How You Grew Up vs How You Respect Yourself and How You View/Respect Men


So, with that said, refer to how you treat men and youself so that you can answer this question:

Have your parent(s) failed you? Does your self-respect and your respect for men reflect what your parent(s) have taught you? Or did you deviate? If so, was the deviation for the better?

Inquiring minds want to know.

nope, my parents haven't failed me. they kept it VERY real with me, good/bad/ and ugly. talked about my grandparents teaching/role modeling...how they dealt w/ it (listening/not listening) and what they hoped to pass on from me...especially learning from others mistakes...which is prolly why I am very observant.

My paternal grandfather laid the blue print of what a man is in my eyes D) which is what my father emulated, even after dealing with his own issues(straying a lot but never really abandoning)and then fully returning back to the core of what he was taught by his father. I saw how my paternal grandmother interacted w/ my grandfather, and with my father n his siblings AND w/ us grandchildren.

My maternal grandfather laid the blue print for what a man should not be and I actually feel sad for him (this is prolly one of the few times I actually call him my grandfather). talk about broken promise after promise but it didn't phase me much b/c my paternal grandpa held it down. It def phased my mother but my paternal grandpa again, held it down for her also . I saw/see how my paternal grandma interacted w/ my paternal grandpa and it wasn't positive. I saw how that affected my mom's interaction w/ some men and how it was sometimes a struggle w/ my dad when she was younger (as they got older, things got better )

ohhh how I love my paternal side of the family...they keep me positive , and supportive, show me the power of a cohesive unit and strength in marriage. Friendship, laughter, communication and trust. I also see the influence a woman can have on her man...very strong, and what a man is willing to do for those he loves. At the same time, I have expectations of men that don't match some of the men around my age.

I get my low tolerance of bs from that side (which is what is needed sometimes) and despite how they got on my FLIPPIN last nerves...I love my maternal side of the family b/c they taught/teach me how to deal w/ different types of people, and things to look out for. I also get a super strong work ethic from them which would allow me to hold it down financially if need be.

I wouldn't say I strayed away from certain things, just modernized it lol.

 

[HALO2]

good topic

 

[M.H.C.]

nope, my parents haven't failed me. they kept it VERY real with me, good/bad/ and ugly. talked about my grandparents teaching/role modeling...how they dealt w/ it (listening/not listening) and what they hoped to pass on from me...especially learning from others mistakes...which is prolly why I am very observant.

My paternal grandfather laid the blue print of what a man is in my eyes D) which is what my father emulated, even after dealing with his own issues(straying a lot but never really abandoning)and then fully returning back to the core of what he was taught by his father. I saw how my paternal grandmother interacted w/ my grandfather, and with my father n his siblings AND w/ us grandchildren.

My maternal grandfather laid the blue print for what a man should not be and I actually feel sad for him (this is prolly one of the few times I actually call him my grandfather). talk about broken promise after promise but it didn't phase me much b/c my paternal grandpa held it down. It def phased my mother but my paternal grandpa again, held it down for her also . I saw/see how my paternal grandma interacted w/ my paternal grandpa and it wasn't positive. I saw how that affected my mom's interaction w/ some men and how it was sometimes a struggle w/ my dad when she was younger (as they got older, things got better )

ohhh how I love my paternal side of the family...they keep me positive , and supportive, show me the power of a cohesive unit and strength in marriage. Friendship, laughter, communication and trust. I also see the influence a woman can have on her man...very strong, and what a man is willing to do for those he loves. At the same time, I have expectations of men that don't match some of the men around my age.

I get my low tolerance of bs from that side (which is what is needed sometimes) and despite how they got on my FLIPPIN last nerves...I love my maternal side of the family b/c they taught/teach me how to deal w/ different types of people, and things to look out for. I also get a super strong work ethic from them which would allow me to hold it down financially if need be.

I wouldn't say I strayed away from certain things, just modernized it lol.

Wow. It seems like you experienced life from both ends of the spectrum. This can make or break a person. Seems like it helped shape you into a stronger person though.

 

[jucurious]

Wow. It seems like you experienced life from both ends of the spectrum. This can make or break a person. Seems like it helped shape you into a stronger person though.

truth.com lol. I'm not perfect, I got my own kinks that I have to work out sometimes but I make it do what it do, and accept it when it don't lol

that acceptance part took a while tho

 

[melonpecan]

they kept it VERY real with me, good/bad/ and ugly.

If this one sentence has to do with raising independent, strong willed, self-aware, adapting, and knowledgeable children- then yes my parents have failed me.

There is a lot that I don't know that I might never get the chance to learn and a lot that I should have known that i had to learn the hard way. Sometimes I feel that if they HAD been real with me even a fraction of the time that perhaps I would have turned out to be a different, better person. Now I am in no means perfect, but what knowledge I do possess I don't attribute it to my parents.


I still love them though.

 

[Cleopatra_J]

I grew up with my grandparents, so if I had to say did my parents fail me? eh, I guess.. I more feel like they failed themselves...

My grandparents did not fail me. Their relationship wasn't perfect by far, but sometimes seeing whats wrong helps you form opinions on what is right. My grandfather was definitely a provider. The quiet kind who didn't say much but you didn't have to worry about where your next meal was coming from. My grandmother made sure dinner was ready for him when he came home from work and left him to himself.

Its funny how 2 people growing up in the same household can become 2 different people, but I think I got one thing from my upbringing and my cousin got another. My grandmother showed me how to be strong and independent while at the same time being caring and yielding. My grandfather lets me know men ain't shit and he knows because he is a man LOL!! He keeps that protective eye out for me and gives me wisdom. so... no.. I don't think I was failed...

 

[p5ych3]

moms left when i was 5 and i had more step moms than i could count.
almost all my relationships are long distance and don't usually last more
than 2 yrs.....other than that i think i'm alright. college, job, no criminal
record.

Edit: I don't hate women, i adore them. Think about them constantly.
Just got a wall there i haven't broken down yet.

 

[bigirl]

Well being as that I didn't meet my real father til I was 30 and the people who raised me were wicked and the man was never home and would do nothing to stop the abuse of the woman, I would say yes except they taught me how to be by teaching me how NOT to be but in the end I just keep a certain distance from everyone

 

[M.H.C.]

I grew up with my grandparents, so if I had to say did my parents fail me? eh, I guess.. I more feel like they failed themselves...

My grandparents did not fail me. Their relationship wasn't perfect by far, but sometimes seeing whats wrong helps you form opinions on what is right. My grandfather was definitely a provider. The quiet kind who didn't say much but you didn't have to worry about where your next meal was coming from. My grandmother made sure dinner was ready for him when he came home from work and left him to himself.

Its funny how 2 people growing up in the same household can become 2 different people, but I think I got one thing from my upbringing and my cousin got another. My grandmother showed me how to be strong and independent while at the same time being caring and yielding. My grandfather lets me know men ain't shit and he knows because he is a man LOL!! He keeps that protective eye out for me and gives me wisdom. so... no.. I don't think I was failed...

So true.

 

[UrBoSS]

My mother definitely didn't fail me, well maybe by allowing a typical piece of shit to be the "sperm donor". My "father" is and has always been a hustler and has given a shit about me maybe twice out of my life. Thankfully my mother realized where her life was heading at a young age, married a great dude who raised me as his own, never had a need.

My issues now is that I have ZERO trust for men and VERY LIMITED respect. Every man in my life has done me wrong at some point, even fam. Aside from that, I've learned to be independent, maybe even a little too much. Left home at an early age and struggled a bit but I hold my own and do what I have to do...

Still wish that they would be there a little more for me now, regardless of my past mistakes. But, moms great and always has been. She struggled her entire life, she's my idol!

 

[UrBoSS]

I think I am just one of those people that by nature, I take knowledge from whomever I am around.
I mean-My moms-I lover her. She taught me street smarts & to never demean a man I love manhood. On the other hand she is the best cook ever! Ummmmm I can cook, but I dont...I HATE IT!

My dad-awwww I love him I learned from him that there are good men in the world. He for the most part let my mom run the household but when he gets mad or puts his foot down-IT's DONE!
He taught me to believe and trust in my heart and how to have tolerance.


To sum it up-My parents didnt fail me. I am too old to say anything negative that my parents did would have a impact on my life now w/ me, my fiance or my children.


Good topic I was going to respond to this on the main board

Haa, yep. It was always ask ur mother, or I would just go straight to her. But once pops was brought in, there's no asking "why" its just done!

 

[UrBoSS]

If this one sentence has to do with raising independent, strong willed, self-aware, adapting, and knowledgeable children- then yes my parents have failed me.

There is a lot that I don't know that I might never get the chance to learn and a lot that I should have known that i had to learn the hard way. Sometimes I feel that if they HAD been real with me even a fraction of the time that perhaps I would have turned out to be a different, better person. Now I am in no means perfect, but what knowledge I do possess I don't attribute it to my parents.


I still love them though.

That's tough. But sometimes learning and experiencing on your own is better. You get it all first hand, it makes you a stronger and wiser person. Now you can apply your lessons to raising your kids...

 

[melonpecan]

That's tough. But sometimes learning and experiencing on your own is better. You get it all first hand, it makes you a stronger and wiser person. Now you can apply your lessons to raising your kids...

I agree...with some respect.

There were some things I had to learn that a child should NOT have to experience first hand without some sort of background or proper information.


As far as I am concerned I am nothing like my parents and I have no damn idea how I got here mentally and emotionally...

 

[UrBoSS]

Most definitely. There's many things a child shouldn't be exposed to, and without prior knowledge of it.

And that's exactly what makes you strong.