Single Black Women

[demere]

I'm curious if you have noticed this.....or is it just me?

I was reading the thread on BGOL about why 70% of black women are single a few minutes ago. I found it very interesting that the first reason posted was that they felt 70% of black women are not marriage material.

This is interesting to me because when I analyze the people that I know, it seems to me, most not all of the women who are in a serious relationship with a black man are the ones who are willing to date the guy who: doesn't have a job, slangs a lil something on the side, is aspiring to be the next rapper, has multiple kids/baby mommas, cheats, and the list goes on.

I know a lot of dynamic, beautiful, black women who are single. I'm talking attorneys, nurse practitioners, engineers, teachers, investment bankers, who claim they never have a "datable" black man approach them.

I also know a lot of good black men who are single (not looking 4 a relationship), date out of their race, or only date women who have a bunch of kids, are extremely ghetto, and other things of that nature.

When things go wrong with those types of women they come to me and complain that they never meet the types of dynamic black women I referenced above.

Where is the disconnect? Are the "good" black women only dating the "not shit" men? Are the "good" black men only dating the "not shit" women? I'm just trying to figure this out.

Okay....done with my rant....

 

[femmenoire]

I think that the number isn't showing a whole part of the picture.

More and more women are single across the board. That is just a result of the feminist movement and women in the workforce.

My co worker, who is white, was just joking about his sister being bitter about not being married and having no kids and he didn't want to deal with her on Thanskgiving. I asked her how old she was and he said 47. I was in total disbelief.

And then he said he knows lots of women around her age still single who still want to get married and have kids.

So for black women, as any stats with black people, these findings impact us more.

 

[demere]

I think that the number isn't showing a whole part of the picture.

More and more women are single across the board. That is just a result of the feminist movement and women in the workforce.

My co worker, who is white, was just joking about his sister being bitter about not being married and having no kids and he didn't want to deal with her on Thanskgiving. I asked her how old she was and he said 47. I was in total disbelief.

And then he said he knows lots of women around her age still single who still want to get married and have kids.

So for black women, as any stats with black people, these findings impact us more.

I definitely think this is true and a big part of what going on in America in general. It just saddens me that the situation seems to breed hatred between the black man and black woman.

 

[femmenoire]

I definitely think this is true and a big part of what going on in America in general. It just saddens me that the situation seems to breed hatred between the black man and black woman.

It's because black people still have self-hatred issues. It's systemic.

 

[BS2011]

I'm curious if you have noticed this.....or is it just me?

I was reading the thread on BGOL about why 70% of black women are single a few minutes ago. I found it very interesting that the first reason posted was that they felt 70% of black women are not marriage material.

This is interesting to me because when I analyze the people that I know, it seems to me, most not all of the women who are in a serious relationship with a black man are the ones who are willing to date the guy who: doesn't have a job, slangs a lil something on the side, is aspiring to be the next rapper, has multiple kids/baby mommas, cheats, and the list goes on.

I know a lot of dynamic, beautiful, black women who are single. I'm talking attorneys, nurse practitioners, engineers, teachers, investment bankers, who claim they never have a "datable" black man approach them.

I also know a lot of good black men who are single (not looking 4 a relationship), date out of their race, or only date women who have a bunch of kids, are extremely ghetto, and other things of that nature.

When things go wrong with those types of women they come to me and complain that they never meet the types of dynamic black women I referenced above.

Where is the disconnect? Are the "good" black women only dating the "not shit" men? Are the "good" black men only dating the "not shit" women? I'm just trying to figure this out.

Okay....done with my rant....

Listen. Don't pay attention to majority of what is said on BGOL. A lot of the dudes on BGOL represent the bottom of the barrel of black men. Most are losers and underachievers who would rather blame black women for all of their shortcomings instead of manning up.

 

[Mt. Yukon]

Listen. Don't pay attention to majority of what is said on BGOL. A lot of the dudes on BGOL represent the bottom of the barrel of black men. Most are losers and underachievers who would rather blame black women for all of their shortcomings instead of manning up.

Yeah allot of black women are bashed on this board, but dont ignore the underlying problem here. Most people in general aint about shit, so when the demographic your socializing with falls under the same umbrella then inturn you have allot of women bashing on a male dominated board. Go to a female dominated board and you will see the exact same shit, just in reverse. My old Barbershop was a beauty salon and barbershop in one, so when ever I went upstairs to holla at a homegirl they were talking about the same shit we men talk about. Blackmen aint this, they aint that, the need to do this, they dont do that. To be honest theyre worse the men are. They are often unrealistic with their expectations and when a man doesnt met them, then the men they meet have the problem. I mean really how many wallstreet thugs, who push Donks on 28s to their corporate jobs downtown, have tats everydamn where and dreds down to there backs and make six figures have you seen??? I try not to bash women, but I mean damn, Ive met some fucked up in the head chicks over the last couple years. I mean these bitches are clueless. I try to give everyone a chance, because worse come to worse she can just be a homegirl. But that shit dont even work. No one thinks outside the box, if its not typical shit that black folks do, its white. I mean how you gonna have a white persons dog??? So for every women complaining about dudes wantin them to act, look and dress like video hoes, I come across just as many women wantin me to act, look and dress like a Lil Wayne, or a Plies clone. The problem is with our people in general, not just one sex of it.

 

[PoppaSo]

I believe materialism have a lot to do with it. How much money you make depends on how qualified you are for marriage. I notice this is how the posting describe the difference between what's quantifiable for marriage.

I mean really, does him not having a certain type of job disqualifies him from being a good husband? Does her having a certain type of job make her a good wife? Really, this kind of thinking is from too much TV. Celebrity star dating or something.

A female friend who is about 30 and just had a girl (2) with her husband called me yesterday because her friends call her complaining about being not married or finding a "good" man. She said, her unmarried girlfriends all have on thing in common. She said, none of her unmarried friends have "marriage minds". They don't know how to let a man be a MAN. Women think because they make the money, that they have dominion over a man. My friend's husband recently lost a good job, but she still works. He's the same hubby with or without a job. She doesn't start bossing him around because now she is making more fetta. He got up one morning, and went to church "probably prayed for a gig". I'm sure he will be back on his feet soon, but she is letting him DO WHAT HE ALREADY KNOWS HE GOTTA DO! if he didn't know what to do, she wouldn't have ever married him. She has faith and trust in him.
You can be strong women, but it takes strength to submit. It takes faith to believe. It take power to "keep On". This is what my friends says. She is happily married with children.

I think people in general have succumbed to the mind-set that money makes your a better person. They are dominated by it, just they are not willing to serve they spouse. It's a lack of self worth to believe money makes you a better anything. Well, maybe if you are an jerk it makes you a bigger jerk. Money can only amplify what you already are. If you are a cheater, you had a cheating heart before you got luchianos.

Oddly enough, I have 57 year old female "friend" not lover (tho she gets hit on by 35 year old men) who says the same thing about Black women today. That women have lost sight of what makes a good marriage. Sorry, it ain't Booty Shaking! And it ain't money. Believe me, I have turned down women who wanted to pay my way.

I'm not married or have children and now I'm 45. I'm "self-employed" which to most Blacks women sounds like an excuse for not having a steady job. So I can't speak for myself...I'm a percentile myself. I'm adding to the statistics of so-called "Disqualified Man" or how we say...No Good Niggas.

 

[lilsexii]

We live in a microwave society - everybody wants instant and complete gratification with minimal input. Most people (male and female) want to be excused for their own behavior but demand perfection from someone else. It's like the person who acts a fool in a restaurant because they forgot to put their salad dressing on the side, but when its time to pay, their credit card got declined.

 

[MartinAsante]

Listen. Don't pay attention to majority of what is said on BGOL. A lot of the dudes on BGOL represent the bottom of the barrel of black men. Most are losers and underachievers who would rather blame black women for all of their shortcomings instead of manning up.

The stat came from Oprah.

 

[GET YOU HOT]

Intelligent women downgrade themselves and get turned out by men that are lesser humans, so begins the cycle, when they do meet an intelligent succesful man, there is so much emotional damage, they are unable to maintain a loving relationship because of lingering feelings of low self esteem that the lesser man imposed because of his short comings. The best solution is to cut off all ties, photos, telephone conversation, contact with the lesser man and begin a relationship whole-ly and fully with the intelligent, succesful man...