Brain Damage Studios
August 19 at 3:51 AM ·Sad news today, The Pillsbury Dough Boy died yesterday of traumatic complications from repeatedly being poked in his belly during his lifetime. Dough Boy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; three children, John Dough, Jane Dough, and Sara Dough; plus they also had a bun in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. Services were held yesterday at 350 for about 20 minutes.
Dough Boy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. The grave site was piled high with flours. Dough Boy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.
He was not considered a very “smart” cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, but was thought of a roll model for millions. Toward the end, it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he remained unleavened.
He was the family's only breadwinner, That's okay because he left behind a lot of dough
