This bitch...
In the immediate aftermath of Conrad's death, Carter sent text messages implying that she had no knowledge of the incident. For instance, on the night of Conrad's death, she text messaged Conrad's sister.
CARTER: "Do you know where you brother is?"
The sister was surprised that Carter had her phone number. The following morning, Carter text messaged Conrad's mother and asked her if she knew where Conrad was, but made no mention of the fact that she knew Conrad had committed suicide in the K-Mart parking lot.
Conrad's mother informed Carter that "they [had] been looking for him the past few hours and they can't find him."
Carter text messaged [her friend]:
CARTER: He just called me and there was a loud noise like a motor and I heard moaning like someone was in pain and he wouldn't answer when I said his name. I stayed on the phone for like 20 minutes and that's all I heard. I think he just killed himself ... I'm so [expletive] stupid.
The generator he got the other day I think that was the noise I heard. I just looked it up. They emit carbon monoxide. I think he poisoned himself with it and it's all my fault because I should have knew he was going to do that and I should have stopped him. I kept trying to call and there was no answer. I think he did it. I don't even know what to do right now.
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On July 13, after Conrad's death, Carter text messaged [her friend]:
CARTER: Just talked to his sister. He's dead. He committed suicide. Police found him in his truck. He died from carbon monoxide poisoning from a generator. He died while talking to me on the phone.
On July 14, Carter text messaged [her friend]:
CARTER: I don't know how I'm supposed to get through this. I can't function. I haven't eaten. I just completely shut down. I do blame myself. It's my fault. I was talking to him while he killed himself I heard him cry in pain. I should have known. I should have done something.
On July 20, however, court documents state that Carter adjusted her original statement in which she claimed that she did not know Conrad was going to commit suicide. She text messaged [her friend]:
CARTER: And that night I knew he was going to do it and a part of me thought he wasn't going to like always but when he stopped talking to me on the phone, like, I knew he did it, and a couple of days before leading up to it I guess I kind of let him do it. I started giving up because whatever I said I knew I couldn't change his mind so we talked about it and about how I'll take care of his family when he's gone and all of that.
Like, to him it seemed like I was okay with him dying but I wasn't. Like, I didn't think he was actually going to do it, you know. Like, I said stuff to make him realize how stupid he was being and I tried to convince him not to but I think I just made it easier for him?
I knew he was in the Kmart [expletive] parking lot. I knew he was going to use the generator to inhale carbon monoxide. I knew it all. But I didn't think he would actually go through with it or that it would work, and that's why I feel like it's all my fault because I knew what he was going to do but I didn't call anyone to stop him.
It's just hard because, like, I was the only one that knew and I, like, said yesterday everyone talks about how they wished he had someone to talk to and told what he was feeling to and I was that person so I'll always feel guilty about it.
Like, I'm the reason everyone was in that church yesterday. But you're right. He was just going to do it another time and I'm thankful for talking about everything we did know knowing he was going to die. It's just you think I'm a bad person for doing what I did?
... I was the last person he talked to so I feel special that I had that moment with him? It's hard to accept it now that it actually happened but I know he's finally happy. I told him it was okay to do it because he was miserable and I knew he would always be in pain and I just couldn't stand to see him like that anymore.
I told him he'd be free and happy in heaven. I wanted him to leave knowing he wasn't selfish for doing it.
On July 21, Carter text messaged [her friend]:
CARTER: I just got off the phone with Conrad's mom about 20 minutes ago and she told me that detectives had to come to go through his things and stuff. It's something they have to do with suicides and homicides and she said they have to go through his phone and see if anyone encouraged him to do it on text and stuff.
[Friend’s name] …they read my messages with him I'm done. His family will hate me and I can go to jail.
When [her friend] responded that the police were unlikely to tell Conrad's family about Carter’s encouragement unless "it was like really bad bullying," Carter answered,
CARTER: Yeah, that's what I'm hoping. Like, I hope they see that he had his mind set on it. Like, it may seem like I wanted him to do it but I didn't at all. You know I loved him. Like, I read the thing online where it said if you agree with the person then it makes them realize how stupid they're being and so they'll stop it but it didn't work and I just I don't know. I hope that the cops don't see it that way. Like, I didn't bully him or anything? So you don't think that they'll really tell his family?
Carter continued to discuss Conrad's death with [her friend] into the fall months.
On Sept. 15, she text messaged:
CARTER: [Friend’s name], his death is my fault. Like, honestly I could have stopped it. I was the one on the phone with him and he got out of the car because he was working and he got scared and I [expletive] told him to get back in, [friend's name], because I knew he would do it all over again the next day and I couldn't have him live that way the way he was living anymore. I couldn't do it. I wouldn't let him.
And therapy didn't help him and I wanted him to go to McLeans with me when I went but he would go in the other department for his issues but he didn't want to go because he said nothing they would do or say would help him or change the way he feels.
So I, like, started giving up because nothing I did was helping and but I should have tried harder. Like, I should have did more. And it's all my fault because I could have stopped him but I [expletive] didn't and all I had to say was I love you and don't do this one more time and he'd still be here.
And he told me he would give me signs to know he was watching over me but I haven't seen any. And I just I don't know. I'm sorry about this rant. I just need to get it off my chest that it's finally all starting to sink in?
On Sept. 30, Carter text messaged [her friend], discussing how she was uncomfortable with a unit of her psychology class, which discussed suicide:
CARTER: I'm grateful for that and yeah, I'm going to talk to [the psychology teacher] about what she thinks I should do on Thursday. And though because I told him it was okay to do it, Sam. I helped ease him into it and told him I was okay. I was talking to him on the phone when he did it. I could have easily stopped him or called the police but I didn't. It's hard to understand because you've never helped someone with a suicide.
Court documents stated that Carter sought attention for Roy’s death.
In the days following Conrad's death, Carter sought sympathy and attention. On July 18, she attended Conrad's wake. Shortly after, she published Facebook posts about Conrad and created a Facebook event page for a fundraising baseball tournament that she organized in Conrad's memory. It read:
CARTER’S FACEBOOK POST: Hey everyone, as some of you already know my boyfriend Conrad Roy recently passed away on July 13. He suffered from mental illness and depression. Conrad's death was a wake-up call for me. I want to speak out to fight the public stigma and to give a clearer picture of what mental illness is all about. Even though I could not save my boyfriend's life, I want to put myself out there to try to save as many other lives as possible, and if I can through my experiences shed light on a way out of a difficult situation that I know so many people are going through, then that is what I need to do.
Court documents report that the tournament was ultimately held in Plainville and was mainly attended by Carter's friends and family. Conrad's friend Tom learned about the tournament, and in August, asked to participate. He also asked Carter why she was holding the tournament in Plainville, a town considerably remote from Conrad's home.
She answered, "
t's in my town, ha, ha," and that she "didn't know how to organize it in [Mattapoisett because she] didn't know anyone[there] and it was going to be a long drive to keep going back and forth."
When Tom proposed moving the Plainville tournament to Mattapoisett, she responded, "I can't change it, like, I already have made it up here and I have people advertising here and supporting it and I'm sure everyone will come from your town ... Like, this was my idea. I created it to be here."
Later, when Tom shared the Facebook event through his Facebook account,
Carter contacted him and asked,
CARTER: "You're not taking credit for my idea though; right? LOL."
TOM: "No. I'll credit you if you really want."
CARTER: "Ha, ha. Well, I mean, I'm hosting it. Like, it's my idea. But you're like my co-captain now."
When Tom asked Carter how many times she had met Conrad in person, Carter answered,
CARTER: I know what we had and he does too. He was the most special and important person in my life and he told me the same. He told me everything about why he killed himself and all that he was feeling. We were end game. We both knew it. He didn't need to tell anyone that . . . I don't think anyone will ever understand what Conrad and I had so much. I don't expect you to either.