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Question to the Ladies ( yeah Ju's curious again)

jucurious

jucurious

agent of change
BGOL Investor
I made the following comment in a spin off thread on the main board (spinoff to the girl who got away).

I wanted to know if any of you have had this experience. Do you think this is realistic? possible? bullshit? ideal? temporary thinking/long lasting?

the comment was made in response to a member stating that something to the effect of a woman not forgetting her past and another member saying something to the effect that she will come back.


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you'd be surprised what a woman can do when she's fed up


there comes a time when a woman is able to separate the good times and missing being in a relationship from the actual person that brought about those times and memories....once that is done...ur history

and yeah we don't forget...sometimes we use the past to help us tune in on what we want and what we don't want/like. but again...i'm talkin behaviors...not the actual person. so your part of the measuring stick but not necessarily in the way u think you are.

don't shoot the messenger...i'm just keepin it real
 
Those who do not learn from past mistakes are doomed to repeat those same mistakes later in life.

Although your question was to the ladies, what you have described is not something unique to women, its human nature or it should be.

As you said don't shoot the messenger, I'm too just keeping it real. :D
 
it takes a mature woman to do that...but yes

a woman can seperate the experience from the man....and ive done that before a few times

u gotta step back and say am i in this for him the person...or the things this relationship represents

you are also right...u will be surprised what a fed up woman will do

but what boggles my mind is when a man will just give up when he think she is fed up

who put it in their minds not to at least try:confused:
 
Ju....DAYUM IT I am on my way to work!
I will answer this when I get home...
jucurious said:
I made the following comment in a spin off thread on the main board (spinoff to the girl who got away).

I wanted to know if any of you have had this experience. Do you think this is realistic? possible? bullshit? ideal? temporary thinking/long lasting?

the comment was made in response to a member stating that something to the effect of a woman not forgetting her past and another member saying something to the effect that she will come back.


****************************


you'd be surprised what a woman can do when she's fed up


there comes a time when a woman is able to separate the good times and missing being in a relationship from the actual person that brought about those times and memories....once that is done...ur history

and yeah we don't forget...sometimes we use the past to help us tune in on what we want and what we don't want/like. but again...i'm talkin behaviors...not the actual person. so your part of the measuring stick but not necessarily in the way u think you are.

don't shoot the messenger...i'm just keepin it real
Click to expand...
 
DeSiRe said:
it takes a mature woman to do that...but yes

a woman can seperate the experience from the man....and ive done that before a few times

u gotta step back and say am i in this for him the person...or the things this relationship represents

you are also right...u will be surprised what a fed up woman will do

but what boggles my mind is when a man will just give up when he think she is fed up

who put it in their minds not to at least try:confused:
Click to expand...
We give up because women have fragile ego's and at times can be very insecure. Since emotions are burned into our brains as a image we know she will never forget the past. Instead of dealing with all the new baggage it is easier to move on.
 
DeSiRe said:
it takes a mature woman to do that...but yes

a woman can seperate the experience from the man....and ive done that before a few times

u gotta step back and say am i in this for him the person...or the things this relationship represents

you are also right...u will be surprised what a fed up woman will do

but what boggles my mind is when a man will just give up when he think she is fed up

who put it in their minds not to at least try:confused:
Click to expand...

Everyone has a limit. This may strike you funny but men get tired and fed up too. An its usually with a woman that we deeply care about. When a man is doing what he's supposed to and gets blindsided by some mind game or some other nonsense, yeah we too get fed up and decide the relationship is no longer worth the aggravation.

Here's an example, a woman I was dating, her girlfriend was killed while in London. This chick calls me cursing and breaking off our relationship because of what happened to her girlfriend. Think I wasn't fed up? Then 2 days later calls to apologize.

That example is not to blast all women but some of you do test our patience and everyone has a limit.
 
BrownTurd said:
We give up because women have fragile ego's and at times can be very insecure. Since emotions are burned into our brains as a image we know she will never forget the past. Instead of dealing with all the new baggage it is easier to move on.
Click to expand...

hmmm I am noticing your post a lot and ur talk about an alleged fragility of women in terms of their egos and emotions when that can EASILY apply to men. I actually would argue that some men have more fragile ego's and are more emotional than women...but this isn't the thread for this.


thank you for your opinion tho ;)
 
Mo-Better said:
Everyone has a limit. This may strike you funny but men get tired and fed up too. An its usually with a woman that we deeply care about. When a man is doing what he's supposed to and gets blindsided by some mind game or some other nonsense, yeah we too get fed up and decide the relationship is no longer worth the aggravation.

Here's an example, a woman I was dating, her girlfriend was killed while in London. This chick calls me cursing and breaking off our relationship because of what happened to her girlfriend. Think I wasn't fed up? Then 2 days later calls to apologize.

That example is not to blast all women but some of you do test our patience and everyone has a limit.
Click to expand...


Iono if that was a good example....someone very close to her was killed...that can send ppl for a loop. I mean did she have a history of breaking up with you over things? of being overly dramatic? catastrophizing? Usually people get fed up b/c of things that accumulate.
 
jucurious said:
hmmm I am noticing your post a lot and ur talk about an alleged fragility of women in terms of their egos and emotions when that can EASILY apply to men. I actually would argue that some men have more fragile ego's and are more emotional than women...but this isn't the thread for this.


thank you for your opinion tho ;)
Click to expand...
I am not saying that women have fragile ego's and are emotional with everything they do in life. I am only speaking of when it comes to relationships. Women have fragile Ego's because they don't take rejection well. Of course this does not apply to all women. Women tend to be more emotional when it comes to matters of the heart.
 
I think women take a much longer time than men to get to the place where they are fed up and begin to move on. We "forgive" and make excuses for men for all sorts of shit over and over again, for a multitude of reasons. I can think of numerous relationships like this.

As I get older, I think (or I hope) I get to moving on easier/faster. If it doesn't work, then it doesn't work. No drama needed. And when I'm done with someone, I'm done.
 
Well..................

I can tell you from experiance I made all kinds of excuses for my husbands behavior, to the point where I started believing it myself. But something happend and basically I was like that was the last straw. And I shut down mentally, physically and socially w/ him. I dont believe in airing dirty laundry but I will say this-My marriage was over for quite some time. I have moved on and I encourage him to do the same.

I dont know if this answered the question, if you need me to clarify please let me know.
 
jucurious said:
Iono if that was a good example....someone very close to her was killed...that can send ppl for a loop. I mean did she have a history of breaking up with you over things? of being overly dramatic? catastrophizing? Usually people get fed up b/c of things that accumulate.
Click to expand...

Well now that you mention it she had a history of doing odd things sometimes. To attack someone unconnected with the particular event IMO is inexcusable. I guess that does add to the frustration of dealing with someone like that. She was someone at that time who lacked self esteem and would lie her ass off rather than tell the truth. Like blaming a rooster for the sunrise.

But getting back to the subject at hand I do understand people in relationships bailing out frustrated with their mates and saying I no longer give a damn. An yes men go through it as well as women.
 
I think men and women often take a long time to get to that point where they are fed up. Long term relationships can breed complacency. Sometimes its easier to let things go that one really shouldn't. I also think people sometimes have a little bit of "better the devil I know" mindset. (Especially men).

However breaking points are scary things. Its amazing how final that decision can be once made. And how quickly one will act upon that decision. No matter how long they have been in the relationship. Best perhaps to try and not take one's partner for granted.
 
watchin said:
I think men and women often take a long time to get to that point where they are fed up. Long term relationships can breed complacency. Sometimes its easier to let things go that one really shouldn't. I also think people sometimes have a little bit of "better the devil I know" mindset. (Especially men).

However breaking points are scary things. Its amazing how final that decision can be once made. And how quickly one will act upon that decision. No matter how long they have been in the relationship. Best perhaps to try and not take one's partner for granted.
Click to expand...

i'm not familiar with that saying...what does it mean?
 

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