Post your funniest "strip club" experience.

[Powerless_Controlfreak]

Back during my college days, my boy and I were out getting fucked up on an odd ass night, like a Wednesday or some shit. We decided to hit this rachet ass spot in DC on Georgia Avenue. I think it was called Penthouse at the time. We had maybe $8 in cash between us both but figured no big deal since there was no admission charge.

We walk in and the way thegy had it set up, u had to go thru a liquor line before even taking a seat. No lie, we ordered ONE BEER and asked the bartender chick for 2 cups. As we walked to our table (keep in mind, it's empty as fuck on a Wednesday - prolly 2 other cats in there at best), the "manager/den mother" rolled up on us before we could even place our ass on the seats. Broad was like "y'all gotta meet the minimum or roll...and u can't be splitting drinks and shit in here".

Bouncer dude came up behind her, so our drunk ass just gulped that shit down standing up and rolled the fuck out, laughing hard as hell. As we walked out, the big bitch who ran us out yelled "broke ass niggas thinking my girls gon' dance all night for free while they sit there splittin' ONE drink and shit...a muthafuckin cheap ass beer at that!

We laughed bout that shit all the way to the crib...

 

[SloPoke]

In LA (Gardena) there is this lil spot called Barbary Coast. Spot is a hole in the wall, and tiny as fuck. We took my lil cousin on his 18th birthday, gave him $300, and sat back to watch the hilarity. He sittin at the stage throwin out singles like they will never end....(on the fat laziest chick in the club), so we coach him a bit. So this dude sit there distributing 1 dollar every 22.4 seconds like clockwork, and looking back to gain some sort of approval from his fam. This lil slim chick come on stage, and she is GORGEOUS, and nasty at the same time. All of a sudden, we see dollar bills explode out his hand (by accident he says) onto the stage, and this fool start trying to take his money back cause he thought we was gonna clown him. The dancer gets on her knees, and start scoopin the money up fast, and we see the bouncer coming for him. Lil cousin arguing with the stripper to get some of his singles back, and the bouncer bout to toss his ass out. We clear it up, she keeps the money, and we try to get this dude cooled off by shootin pool (which he's actually pretty good at). He hustled up a good $150, and on his last game, he was taking a shot and "accidentally" hit the same stripper he was fighting with in the eye with a pool stick, cause she was right behind him and in the process of squatting down or something. When she got up, and saw it was him...that bitch LOST IT! We were all laughing....lil cousin was scared. She started to advance on him, until the bouncer snatched her lil ass up (he was laughing too). Told us it might be best for us to leave for the night (nicest bouncer I ever met). We get outside (eventually)....this chick is out in the parking lot with a sawed off baseball bat...pacing back and forth waiting for my cousin. He runs to a Denali truck, and this bitch just start fuckin that truck up...(too bad it wasn't ours)....Police rolled by and saw her. Snatched her lil ass up.

 

[smiffnwessun]

Ain't nothing funny about the strip club to me I go for a reason and it ain't to joke around.

 

[BLACKLOOP]

Ain't nothing funny about the strip club to me I go for a reason and it ain't to joke around.

This nigga know what's up


Sent from my iPhone 5

 

[305slugga]

Man I have a few but the here's the most interesting. I was up in Cocos in Miami Chillen at the bar drinking and vibing with the bartender as usual. Then some dancer comes up to me and Aww like unwashed told to dance for you for $100 worth of songs and I was like you sure and the dancer was like yeah and pointed to my cousin that paid her. I was like cool do ya thing but I only want $50 worth and I'll use the other $50 in drinks. Anyway, while she's dancing for me this slim chick dressed in regular clothes was start rubbing my bald head and was like she love bald headed niggas and all. So I was like cool but she then takes off her dress and start dancing with the other chick. The other chick ain't like that so the slim chick leans over and whisper in my ear she wanna fuck in the back room. I told her let's do it. I go the bathroom and cop a rubber. So me and her in the back and she's giving the worse ride I've ever experienced. After bout 10 minutes of boredom I tell the chick I'm good and get up to head back the bar. As I stand up she said that'll be $80 and I was wtf I'm not breaking bread on that shyt. She's goes on a rant I danced for you for 5 songs and let you fuck and extended her arms trying to stop me from walking passed her. I tossed her little ass to the side and went bout my normal routine at the bar. The hoe had the nerves to squalee she was going to the trunk of her car and I replied I'll follow you. Once I said that she had a look on her face like this nigga is crazy and went on bout her business

 

[Skinnie Talls]

Rolled into a strip club when I turned 18(mind you in VA you gotta be 21+) I'm in there with my chest out when a bouncer comes over and asks for my ID. Sooooo I whip my ID out like that "In Living Color skit" quick little search and BaMMMM!!!!! He takes 1 look at my ID and says "yeah .... uh .... you gotta be 21" I said "Huh,...what?" Sooo I leave but try to make it seem like I'm an out of towner not underage. I'm screaming some shit like "what you mean the hoes don't get nekkid... mannnn fuck this I'm out" All my old heads laughing they ass off, we all leave and go to an empty park to smoke blunts, drink deuces(22 oz Heineken) and rap.

 

[richlove]

I was at my local strip club one night and this really sloppy ass mixed chick got up to dance. Bitch had a gunt, raised stretch marks..the whole nine. Nigga I used to go to school with threw 50 cents on stage. That shit was rattling, everybody bust out laughing..she kept going, but the bouncers tossed his ass out like Uncle Phil used to do Jazzy Jeff. The funniest thing to me personally was the time I was in New Orleans near the stage throwing a couple of dollars... about 4 drinks in. Money in one hand drink in the other...I turn around to go back to my seat and I see my Dad. I said what the fuck, I was so stunned I fell back a little and knocked over a couple of drinks on the table behind me, and dropped my fucking Heineken. Turns out, it was just a big ass mirror covering the whole wall behind me. Everybody has told me my whole life I look just like him, but this was the first time I saw how much I do.

 

[vandamation]

My homeboy once gave a Stripper...$10.... IN QUARTERS...

NOT IN A ROLL EITHER...

The funny thing is... She said,' OH HELLL YEAH... I'LL TAKE IT... I GOTTA DO LAUNDRY TOMORROW ANYWAY'...

Strip Club called Gordon's... In Queens... It's closed now... BUT... Gordon's was the SHIT...

 

[Crypto]

Me & a couple of the fellas went to the then called Players Club in the BX(Good Times Dynomite). One stripper got off stage another came up to replace her. She proceeded to wipe down the pole with a paper towel as she did her sexy time walk around it. She then tossed it off stage(very theatrical like). It seemed to be floating in the air and finally landed on one the fellas faces. He sat there like who turned of the lights as it was draped over his head & face. He took it off tryin to play it off like that paper towel didn't have back thigh & booty sweat on it. She said sorry (sweet bootyfull women she was).

 

[Jay_from_dade]

Man I have a few but the here's the most interesting. I was up in Cocos in Miami Chillen at the bar drinking and vibing with the bartender as usual. Then some dancer comes up to me and Aww like unwashed told to dance for you for $100 worth of songs and I was like you sure and the dancer was like yeah and pointed to my cousin that paid her. I was like cool do ya thing but I only want $50 worth and I'll use the other $50 in drinks. Anyway, while she's dancing for me this slim chick dressed in regular clothes was start rubbing my bald head and was like she love bald headed niggas and all. So I was like cool but she then takes off her dress and start dancing with the other chick. The other chick ain't like that so the slim chick leans over and whisper in my ear she wanna fuck in the back room. I told her let's do it. I go the bathroom and cop a rubber. So me and her in the back and she's giving the worse ride I've ever experienced. After bout 10 minutes of boredom I tell the chick I'm good and get up to head back the bar. As I stand up she said that'll be $80 and I was wtf I'm not breaking bread on that shyt. She's goes on a rant I danced for you for 5 songs and let you fuck and extended her arms trying to stop me from walking passed her. I tossed her little ass to the side and went bout my normal routine at the bar. The hoe had the nerves to squalee she was going to the trunk of her car and I replied I'll follow you. Once I said that she had a look on her face like this nigga is crazy and went on bout her business

That shit sort of happen to me at G5 when it was diamonds, But with a stripper. I was just chilllin and she was like buy me a drink. So I did and she was like come with me to the back. So I did. So we was just in the VIP talking, the she got on top, unzipped my pants and tries to put it in raw, if I was hard she would have succeed. I said hold up let me get a rubber, then security looked in and said yo man you cant have your dick out. So I was like man fuck it now. So she said you dont want to fuck, I said nah cuz niggas watching now, then the bitch said that will be $160. I said for what, aint like we fucked. And she said well we been back here 8songs you owe me $160. I said bitch you aint dance naan 8 of them. She said give me my money. I say get off me. She said give me my money. I said get off me or Im going to push you off. She got off me.

 

[Varis]

Dancers losing their balance trying some fancy dance in them high heels and falling
saw one chick accidently kick a guy in the eye

 

[Machete]

My homeboy once gave a Stripper...$10.... IN QUARTERS...

NOT IN A ROLL EITHER...

The funny thing is... She said,' OH HELLL YEAH... I'LL TAKE IT... I GOTTA DO LAUNDRY TOMORROW ANYWAY'...

Strip Club called Gordon's... In Queens... It's closed now... BUT... Gordon's was the SHIT...

Was that the joint on Hillside? I fukked with Dreams on Sutphin.


First time I started fucking with strip clubs, I was about 17. I started out, learning the game on my own. No one to teach me, the only thing that saved me was that I didn't have much money at the time so I HAD to budget. But, it was cool. I started to get to know some of the chicks. One chick stood out in my mind, this spot was called Dreams, it was on a busy block. The train and bus were located in that area, so if you were catching the bus at the right time you'd see all kinds of bad chicks walking into the place. But this chick, was a hoodrat-crackhead. Seriously, really short, sloppy gut, weird tiny titties and a bad wig. But, she was extremely nice to me. So, I'd tip her and talk to her, but wouldn't want a lap dance. She kept trying anyway.

One day, she catches me walking past the spot for whatever reason (the bus that I took home, was in the area ). We made small talk, and she asks me to walk with her to the store. I was still 17, no other plans so I'm thinking 'fuckit'. I start hanging with her, working on my conversational skills etc. She takes me with her to go shop for her baby clothes. We talking, I'm giving my opinions, trying to make her laugh as much as possible. It was cool, right up until we got to the register and she looks at me ......

Hoodrat-Crackhead: "Baby, I need a little help."

Me: "Uhhh ...." ( I ain't that smooth, or witty, that was the best that I could come up with in response to her hood-ratchetness."

Hoodrat-Crackhead: "I ain't start working yet, I don't have the cash".

Me: "Why didn't you go shop after you went to work?" ( I'm still not understanding what's REALLY going on. )

Hoodrat-Crackhead: "C'mon, just help me out for a little bit." ( At this point, she smiled what I think was supposed to be a sexy smile but it failed on many levels. Two of those levels involved her missing tooth and her cockeyed tooth. )

Me: ( At this point, I realize what was going on ... ) "Uh, yeah. They ain't my kids. I don't got it.

We went our separate ways, she went to work that very same afternoon. The next time I saw her, this bitch gave me a wet willy. A WET WILLY. In the middle of the club, she stuck her finger in my mouth and then right in my hear. Smiled like that shit was cute, but she ran away real quick when she saw my face. Had to run home and clean my ear. Bitch prolly would have infected me with worms or some shit.

 

[fwillia]

I was at Foxy Lady in Baltimore. Pretty ratchet strip club. They had a bitch in there stripping who was about 7 months pregnant. It was one of the most disturbing things I'd ever seen in person. It's funny as hell in hindsight, though.

 

[BigDaddyBuk]

Money in one hand drink in the other...I turn around to go back to my seat and I see my Dad. Turns out, it was just a big ass mirror covering the whole wall behind me. Everybody has told me my whole life I look just like him, but this was the first time I saw how much I do.

 

[clitsational]

in kingston around christmas time and was tippin the dancers with US dollars and had them all flocking to me

some hard ass came over and whispered real menacingly in my ear to stop that shit

turns out in jamaica the club pays the girls (and very very little) not the customer

i was about to respond and the dj plays "Holy Night" and the butt nekkid chic on stage actually went into a prayer pose

we both started laughing so hard

ended up kickin it the rest of the night wit his people

i don't speak patois they ain't speak much english but we had a ball

​

 

[MadWun]

One of my first times in a strip club, had a bad ass chick give me a lap dance.

I was dead ass serious. I told her

"I want you to have my baby"

She gave me the look



Another story, we went to the club, and one of my homies friends that rolled with us had this bitch on lock ALL NIGHT. I mean @ $5 a dance, the fucker racked up $200, and did not have the fucking $$$ to pay

We had to bail him out This fool damn near fucked the bitch while getting lap dances, but wasted time all night.

$200 and did not even fuck

 

[dawilleyone]

I was at my local strip club one night and this really sloppy ass mixed chick got up to dance. Bitch had a gunt, raised stretch marks..the whole nine. Nigga I used to go to school with threw 50 cents on stage. That shit was rattling, everybody bust out laughing..she kept going, but the bouncers tossed his ass out like Uncle Phil used to do Jazzy Jeff. The funniest thing to me personally was the time I was in New Orleans near the stage throwing a couple of dollars... about 4 drinks in. Money in one hand drink in the other...I turn around to go back to my seat and I see my Dad. I said what the fuck, I was so stunned I fell back a little and knocked over a couple of drinks on the table behind me, and dropped my fucking Heineken. Turns out, it was just a big ass mirror covering the whole wall behind me. Everybody has told me my whole life I look just like him, but this was the first time I saw how much I do.

That's a good one man. I'd have a heart attack if I saw my pops in the club

 

[godofwine]

I went to tops and bottoms in Cleveland Back in March With 20 dollars in singles in my pocket. I "recycled" dollars - I picked up dollars off the floor to throw at the girls. never have to worry about security because I never went anywhere near my pockets. I ended up leaving with 14 dollars losing only six of my own.

 

[4North1Side2]

 

[BlackArsenic]

A girl farted on me during a lap dance and I was so drunk I complained to the bouncer thinking he was the manager. My boys allowed me to do that shit thinking it was funny.

 

[ThaBurgerPimp]

Ain't nothing funny about the strip club to me I go for a reason and it ain't to joke around.

never encounter any jealous mofo who sees his girl giving lap dances..?

i remember posting this in a similar thread a long time ago..this blonde girl who had just wrapped up giving me a lapdance,when i tipped her i had got up and was heading towards the restroom..as i was walking i noticed out the corner of my eye this big Deebo-looking brotha had came up to the bar saying he was looking for(name escapes me at the moment),come to find out it was the girl who i just tipped..i ducked into the restroom and stood near the door hearing them arguing loudly,all like"I DONE TOLD YOU ABOUT ALWAYS WORKING AT THIS BITCH LATE!!(dude had a lisp so it was sounding like he was saying BITH LATHH! ) and she was "What you saying? i like working here..",etc (keep in mind this was during afternoon/happy hour)

I had thought that was that,so as i walked back out to where i was sitting i heard dude shout "Well..lets see how you like this place AFTER I SHOOT IT THE FUCK UUPP!!" her and the bouncer were trying to keep him from going to his car i had noticed the fire exit door was slightly cracked open then all of a sudden the DJ was like "Well SHOWS DONE FOLKS IM OUT!!" mofo whipped his headphones off and did like usain bolt going from the booth to the fire exit door,he opened it all the way and kept running..me and a few other ppl followed suit

 

[nworba]

I ain't reading all this shit!

 

[DV8ed]

Back in the late '90s (can't remember the exact year) @ the original spot for "The Bodytap" off of Stewart Ave, and I'm sitting there chillin', getting a lap dance from this freak I met earlier @ the store. Well the next thing I know, there's some shouting & cussing coming from near the stage. I look that way & see this fine as fuck dancer throwing punches @ a customer, but he's slipping each of them so she never connects. He then throws his arm behind her neck & pulls her in close so she can't throw anymore head shots (but her wild ass kept trying). Next thing I know, 2 bouncers run over, pick both of them up (still locked together!) , carry them to the front door and threw them out in the parking lot! Now remember, she's still butt-ass nekkid, and still outside trying to fight dude. So I tell the stripper in my lap that I'll be right back (I already had her number from the store) and walk my nosey ass by the door to see what's going on. Atlanta police are outside just laughing their asses off at ol' girl just stomping around cussing @ dude, but she's making sure not to get close to him. After a few minutes, the guys boys came out, dude started laughing and they left with her throwing her flip flops at them.





Sent using Tapatalk 2

 

[alexw]

I dont know if this story is funny but it was somewhat strange

I rarely go to strip clubs but my best friend loves the shit. Here in Rochester, the only strip club we have for black folk is called the Cordial Lounge. So I'm in there relaxing with my boy when this light skin big booty bitch screams, "Agghhhhhhhhhhhhh, theyre always NUTTING ON ME!"

Now in my city, the stip clubs only allow the hoes to go topless. Plus the lapdance area isnt nothing but a chair against the wall (near the stage across from the pool table) that everyone can see. So I dont how these niggas are busting on her but they were.

Well the chick gets up and runs towards the back where the kitchen is screaming, "Ewwwwww All this fucking nut!" The one old man bouncer dude asks the nigga to leave and he just smiles and walks out. As she is walking by cats, everyone is jumping back like she has some deadly contagious outbreak.

That same chick would later become my boys wife.

They have a 7 year old daughter together and she is no longer on the pole.

 

[djcasperdotcom]

I dont know if this story is funny but it was somewhat strange

I rarely go to strip clubs but my best friend loves the shit. Here in Rochester, the only strip club we have for black folk is called the Cordial Lounge. So I'm in there relaxing with my boy when this light skin big booty bitch screams, "Agghhhhhhhhhhhhh, theyre always NUTTING ON ME!"

Now in my city, the stip clubs only allow the hoes to go topless. Plus the lapdance area isnt nothing but a chair against the wall (near the stage across from the pool table) that everyone can see. So I dont how these niggas are busting on her but they were.

Well the chick gets up and runs towards the back where the kitchen is screaming, "Ewwwwww All this fucking nut!" The one old man bouncer dude asks the nigga to leave and he just smiles and walks out. As she is walking by cats, everyone is jumping back like she has some deadly contagious outbreak.

That same chick would later become my boys wife.

They have a 7 year old daughter together and she is no longer on the pole.

whoa…didnt see that one coming

best story so far

 

[sumofyallniggasisbitches2]

never encounter any jealous mofo who sees his girl giving lap dances..?

i remember posting this in a similar thread a long time ago..this blonde girl who had just wrapped up giving me a lapdance,when i tipped her i had got up and was heading towards the restroom..as i was walking i noticed out the corner of my eye this big Deebo-looking brotha had came up to the bar saying he was looking for(name escapes me at the moment),come to find out it was the girl who i just tipped..i ducked into the restroom and stood near the door hearing them arguing loudly,all like"I DONE TOLD YOU ABOUT ALWAYS WORKING AT THIS BITCH LATE!!(dude had a lisp so it was sounding like he was saying BITH LATHH! ) and she was "What you saying? i like working here..",etc (keep in mind this was during afternoon/happy hour)

I had thought that was that,so as i walked back out to where i was sitting i heard dude shout "Well..lets see how you like this place AFTER I SHOOT IT THE FUCK UUPP!!" her and the bouncer were trying to keep him from going to his car i had noticed the fire exit door was slightly cracked open then all of a sudden the DJ was like "Well SHOWS DONE FOLKS IM OUT!!" mofo whipped his headphones off and did like usain bolt going from the booth to the fire exit door,he opened it all the way and kept running..me and a few other ppl followed suit

 

[woodchuck]

Me and my 2 bothers in law got drunk and decided to hit the Goats Club in the Bronx. When we got there and saw that it was closed, my brother in law, John, started crying.

 

[BigDaddyBuk]

Me and my 2 bothers in law got drunk and decided to hit the Goats Club in the Bronx. When we got there and saw that it was closed, my brother in law, John, started crying.

why did he have to be named John?

 

[blkking1123]

Great stories, I got a few but can't type all that on a cell phone. I visited Cali a few years back n went to englewood for the Barbary coast and this big booty chix had me against a wall grinding on me for like 5 mins..lightly bouncing on my dick and I'm mesmerized like a mfer....dick hard as tempered steel...that booty was so soft and jiggly I lost it right there in the club...embarrassed and happy it the same time with a huge sticky wet stain on my jeans...I been to the strip club for years and that NEVER happened before....my brother and boys was clowning my ass the rest of the night..

Sent from my HTC HD2 using Tapatalk 2

 

[pookie]

Me and my brother went to this stripclub right at opening time one Tuesday night, it was so early we were the first ones in the club and looked like no strippers were there. we took a seat close to a dressing room that had a sheet instead of a door, we keep seeing this shadow figure keep coming to the curtain and peeking out but never could see her face. The silhouette of her body thru the curtain looked nice. Chick was playing a game with us doing a lil dance behind the curtain and shit but never fully coming out, this went on for about 15 minutes when she finally came out she came over and was the ugliest stripper i've ever seen. Me and my brother just looking at her while she talking and never responded to anything she said, she finally got mad and stormed off and we bust out laughing. Chick was so ugly everytime we went there we'd hear someone asking if she was a man

 

[tallblacknyc]

i could be here for weeks

girls falling off poles

we did a boxing match with strippers and a chick got knocked off da stage

some nigga talking shit to some of my bouncer friends and ends up getting tossed down a flight of steps

a shitload of stripper fights

a stripper beating a niggas ass outside with her shoes

a manager getting knocked out in front of me by a customer

2 sets of customers goin at it and deciding when they get outside they'll have a real life game of bumping cars with there whips

running down a firescape to avoid a police raid- i still get joked on about dat-

being in various police raids(the stories i can tell)

the boys comin thru arresting chicks for soliticing in da club..hell funniest 1 when they came thru arrested 2 chicks than as da boys was leaving they juss decided to arrest some random streetwalker dat juss happen to be passing by

watching 2 homos literally fight inside of a car than onto da ground in da middle of da street after coming thru our stripper party(fucking in da closet queers)

chicks getting there shit stolen and literally have to go home with my tshirt as there source of only clothing

watching a promoter get robbed with no weapon outside literally after he got paid

pimp fights

chicks getting nutted on and running around with cum on there face, hair, oozing out there mouth..talking about kick dat customer out they violated

i could go on and on

 

[patscorpio]

subs for later

 

[pookie]

chicks getting nutted on and running around with cum on there face, hair, oozing out there mouth..talking about kick dat customer out they violated

I remember going to this freaknik type event where they had tents setup for strippers to dance in. In this one tent they had a lil section set off for the strippers to turn tricks and shit. Stripper goes back there with a dude and sucks him off, i guess she lets dude nut in her mouth and instead of spitting it out in a corner she comes into the main area trying to go outdoors with a mouthful of cum. Most of the guys could tell and were getting the hell out the way but some dudes was still trying to stop her and talk

 

[alexw]

i could be here for weeks

girls falling off poles

we did a boxing match with strippers and a chick got knocked off da stage

some nigga talking shit to some of my bouncer friends and ends up getting tossed down a flight of steps

a shitload of stripper fights

a stripper beating a niggas ass outside with her shoes

a manager getting knocked out in front of me by a customer

2 sets of customers goin at it and deciding when they get outside they'll have a real life game of bumping cars with there whips

running down a firescape to avoid a police raid- i still get joked on about dat-

being in various police raids(the stories i can tell)

the boys comin thru arresting chicks for soliticing in da club..hell funniest 1 when they came thru arrested 2 chicks than as da boys was leaving they juss decided to arrest some random streetwalker dat juss happen to be passing by

watching 2 homos literally fight inside of a car than onto da ground in da middle of da street after coming thru our stripper party(fucking in da closet queers)

chicks getting there shit stolen and literally have to go home with my tshirt as there source of only clothing

watching a promoter get robbed with no weapon outside literally after he got paid

pimp fights

chicks getting nutted on and running around with cum on there face, hair, oozing out there mouth..talking about kick dat customer out they violated

i could go on and on

man you need to write the full stories for most of these



sounds like these are mostly closed door parties instead of strip clubs

(especially hoes getting facialed)

 

[woodchuck]

pimp fights

I've seen a couple of those!