Also some sex columnist Jamye Waxman
Don’t always look to porn to perfect your technique. “Porn is a show. It’s entertainment. It’s all about lighting and camera angles,” says Nina. “When you perform cunnilingus correctly, you shouldn’t be able to see shit. In porn, you see the guy or girl’s tongue licking pussy—but if you’re doing it right you shouldn’t be able to see that. I don’t lick pussy; I suck pussy. Any woman will tell you that’s what feels best; but it’s not visually appealing. They want the camera all in the woman’s crotch. So when you see all this tongue, that’s just for the camera. That’s not how it’s really supposed to be done.
“Men are like microwaves and women are like ovens. Three-to-five minutes for a guy to orgasm vs. 15-20 minutes for a woman,” says Jamye. “In adult movies, sometimes you’ll see a woman having an orgasm as soon as the man enters her, or within the first few minutes…yes, it’s possible, but for most women, it takes a lot longer, and in many cases in porn, it’s being faked. You will see genuine orgasms in film, the feminist movement in porn has been great with making movies that are more ‘real,' but in most films a lot of the orgasms are faked. At least 75% of the time.”
Be comfortable with your body, even if it isn’t "porn-star perfect." Jamye assures all men that “Not all women want an eight inch cock. Honest to goodness. What we really want is an experience with you. Porn sex is fantasy sex; the women have near-perfect bodies and tons of make-up and the men have huge cocks. We are paid to look good on camera and look like we’re having fun. That’s the biggest difference between porn sex and real sex. There are plotted positions and lots of starting and stopping and faked orgasms-gasp! Yes, we fake many orgasms…shocking isn’t it?”
Learn how to talk dirty according to your comfort level. “In porn we always hear things like ‘Yeah, yeah, fuck me with that big cock baby!’” Says Nina, “But remember that the viewer can’t touch the people. They can’t feel them or smell the sex. So the actors are just trying to communicate a feeling through the screen. Some porn stars go a little over the top with it. Talking dirty isn’t always about using four-letter words…but don’t be afraid of using the vernacular either, because while ‘Oh yeah, put your mouth on my vulva!’ is technically correct-it’s Latin [laughs], ‘suck my pussy’ is more appropriate for the moment. Just don’t go overboard.”
The Do’s:
Always practice safe and sanitary sex. While all of the standard rules of regular STI/STD testing and prophylactic use apply, also take into consideration the idea physical safety (avoiding injury) and cross-contamination of bacteria, especially when involving anal play. Jamye says: “On film you always see people who are in one position having sex, then its ‘oh, I wanna give it to you up the ass’ and the guy goes right in…if you try that in real life, you will never have anal sex again! [Laughs] What you don’t see is the girl (or guy) behind the scenes getting ready for the anal sex scene. She usually doesn’t eat at all that day. She usually does a water enema before the scene to flush herself out. Then before the scene starts, she puts something up her ass –usually a butt plug or anal beads—to get her ass ready for the sex. And she will sit with it up her butt while she gets her make-up done.
The other thing you don’t see in porn is the use of lube. The butt doesn’t self-lubricate, so you need to use lube. Spit and vaginal lubrication are never enough. In porn, they already put the lube on before the scene, because in porn, the viewer doesn’t want to see lube and condoms being put on…so they say at least; I personally think it’s sexy. Always use lube, and always be sure to cover the vagina with baby wipes so it doesn’t drip from the anus to the vagina.”
“Or have her on her side” Nina adds, “Put on some latex gloves to tickle her anus and make sure it’s ready…see how it’s feeling. As soon as her butt is ready and lubed, take off the glove. If you’re gonna fuck her doggystyle in the butt then have her hold a baby-wipe over her vagina so the lube doesn’t drip from your dick or her ass and into her vagina. Or do it missionary or spooning so you don’t have to worry…One wrong move-- she’s outta commission for 10 days and boy are you not popular. [Laughs] Ass to mouth is a huge no. There’s a huge amount of bacteria that can be transferred. If your spouse wants to go there; it’s your choice, but you can not double dip. You can’t go from ass to pussy. You must change condoms. Period.”
The Don’t's:
Don’t think sex has to be a three-ring circus. Nina says, “I don’t do the pile-driver position because it’s dangerous putting all the pressure of your body (and your partner’s body) on the base of your neck. It’s very visual, and very ‘hot’ according to the porn industry, but at home, it’s not really functional at all. I love missionary. The basics are there for a reason. At home, I do a lot of missionary variations, and doggy. Every couple has two or three positions that work for them. Usually it’s missionary for her orgasm and doggy for his
Jamye reminds us all that “What you see in film, all of those crazy positions, is simply because they look good on camera. They allow for great camera angles where you can see the penetration. But mirrors at home can be really hot. It makes sex more visual and that can be really hot!
Don’t bring work into the bedroom. “Porn stars have to show up to work ready to dedicate their time to the job no matter what else is going on in their life,” says Jamye. “They have to at least look like they’re having fun; even when sex is the furthest thing from their mind.
As far as deep throating? Jamye claims, “It’s not something that all men or woman want to do, or have done. And also, it’s not something that is necessary to give a good blowjob. They like it in porn because it’s pretty dramatic looking. But in porn, people are paid to be excessive. If you do want to try it at home, my advice is to take the penis in when it’s flaccid or semi-erect. You can go down further that way. Also, use your hand as an extension of your mouth. So many people see these women in porn with tears in their eyes, gagging on it. I find deep-throating, as a skill, to be completely overrated. All you need is effort and enthusiasm. And that’s really all your partner wants. Effort and enthusiasm. Say ‘Baby, I’m gonna go down as far as I can …but I don’t know if it will all fit because you’re soooo biiig’ that’s a perfect compliment."
And just to avoid any unnecessary arguments, Nina strongly advises: “Be sure that your partner knows that you want them, and not the actor or actress on the screen. You might be thinking in your head ‘That porn star is so hot, she has the perfect ass!’ but yeah…keep that shit to yourself!"
Don’t always look to porn to perfect your technique. “Porn is a show. It’s entertainment. It’s all about lighting and camera angles,” says Nina. “When you perform cunnilingus correctly, you shouldn’t be able to see shit. In porn, you see the guy or girl’s tongue licking pussy—but if you’re doing it right you shouldn’t be able to see that. I don’t lick pussy; I suck pussy. Any woman will tell you that’s what feels best; but it’s not visually appealing. They want the camera all in the woman’s crotch. So when you see all this tongue, that’s just for the camera. That’s not how it’s really supposed to be done.
“Men are like microwaves and women are like ovens. Three-to-five minutes for a guy to orgasm vs. 15-20 minutes for a woman,” says Jamye. “In adult movies, sometimes you’ll see a woman having an orgasm as soon as the man enters her, or within the first few minutes…yes, it’s possible, but for most women, it takes a lot longer, and in many cases in porn, it’s being faked. You will see genuine orgasms in film, the feminist movement in porn has been great with making movies that are more ‘real,' but in most films a lot of the orgasms are faked. At least 75% of the time.”
Be comfortable with your body, even if it isn’t "porn-star perfect." Jamye assures all men that “Not all women want an eight inch cock. Honest to goodness. What we really want is an experience with you. Porn sex is fantasy sex; the women have near-perfect bodies and tons of make-up and the men have huge cocks. We are paid to look good on camera and look like we’re having fun. That’s the biggest difference between porn sex and real sex. There are plotted positions and lots of starting and stopping and faked orgasms-gasp! Yes, we fake many orgasms…shocking isn’t it?”
Learn how to talk dirty according to your comfort level. “In porn we always hear things like ‘Yeah, yeah, fuck me with that big cock baby!’” Says Nina, “But remember that the viewer can’t touch the people. They can’t feel them or smell the sex. So the actors are just trying to communicate a feeling through the screen. Some porn stars go a little over the top with it. Talking dirty isn’t always about using four-letter words…but don’t be afraid of using the vernacular either, because while ‘Oh yeah, put your mouth on my vulva!’ is technically correct-it’s Latin [laughs], ‘suck my pussy’ is more appropriate for the moment. Just don’t go overboard.”
The Do’s:
Always practice safe and sanitary sex. While all of the standard rules of regular STI/STD testing and prophylactic use apply, also take into consideration the idea physical safety (avoiding injury) and cross-contamination of bacteria, especially when involving anal play. Jamye says: “On film you always see people who are in one position having sex, then its ‘oh, I wanna give it to you up the ass’ and the guy goes right in…if you try that in real life, you will never have anal sex again! [Laughs] What you don’t see is the girl (or guy) behind the scenes getting ready for the anal sex scene. She usually doesn’t eat at all that day. She usually does a water enema before the scene to flush herself out. Then before the scene starts, she puts something up her ass –usually a butt plug or anal beads—to get her ass ready for the sex. And she will sit with it up her butt while she gets her make-up done.
The other thing you don’t see in porn is the use of lube. The butt doesn’t self-lubricate, so you need to use lube. Spit and vaginal lubrication are never enough. In porn, they already put the lube on before the scene, because in porn, the viewer doesn’t want to see lube and condoms being put on…so they say at least; I personally think it’s sexy. Always use lube, and always be sure to cover the vagina with baby wipes so it doesn’t drip from the anus to the vagina.”
“Or have her on her side” Nina adds, “Put on some latex gloves to tickle her anus and make sure it’s ready…see how it’s feeling. As soon as her butt is ready and lubed, take off the glove. If you’re gonna fuck her doggystyle in the butt then have her hold a baby-wipe over her vagina so the lube doesn’t drip from your dick or her ass and into her vagina. Or do it missionary or spooning so you don’t have to worry…One wrong move-- she’s outta commission for 10 days and boy are you not popular. [Laughs] Ass to mouth is a huge no. There’s a huge amount of bacteria that can be transferred. If your spouse wants to go there; it’s your choice, but you can not double dip. You can’t go from ass to pussy. You must change condoms. Period.”
The Don’t's:
Don’t think sex has to be a three-ring circus. Nina says, “I don’t do the pile-driver position because it’s dangerous putting all the pressure of your body (and your partner’s body) on the base of your neck. It’s very visual, and very ‘hot’ according to the porn industry, but at home, it’s not really functional at all. I love missionary. The basics are there for a reason. At home, I do a lot of missionary variations, and doggy. Every couple has two or three positions that work for them. Usually it’s missionary for her orgasm and doggy for his
Jamye reminds us all that “What you see in film, all of those crazy positions, is simply because they look good on camera. They allow for great camera angles where you can see the penetration. But mirrors at home can be really hot. It makes sex more visual and that can be really hot!
Don’t bring work into the bedroom. “Porn stars have to show up to work ready to dedicate their time to the job no matter what else is going on in their life,” says Jamye. “They have to at least look like they’re having fun; even when sex is the furthest thing from their mind.
As far as deep throating? Jamye claims, “It’s not something that all men or woman want to do, or have done. And also, it’s not something that is necessary to give a good blowjob. They like it in porn because it’s pretty dramatic looking. But in porn, people are paid to be excessive. If you do want to try it at home, my advice is to take the penis in when it’s flaccid or semi-erect. You can go down further that way. Also, use your hand as an extension of your mouth. So many people see these women in porn with tears in their eyes, gagging on it. I find deep-throating, as a skill, to be completely overrated. All you need is effort and enthusiasm. And that’s really all your partner wants. Effort and enthusiasm. Say ‘Baby, I’m gonna go down as far as I can …but I don’t know if it will all fit because you’re soooo biiig’ that’s a perfect compliment."
And just to avoid any unnecessary arguments, Nina strongly advises: “Be sure that your partner knows that you want them, and not the actor or actress on the screen. You might be thinking in your head ‘That porn star is so hot, she has the perfect ass!’ but yeah…keep that shit to yourself!"
