Rosie O'Donnell has opened up about her friendship with convicted murderer Lyle Menendez: 'For the first time in my life, I felt safe enough to trust and be vulnerable and love a straight man.'
ew.com
Rosie O'Donnell says friendship with Lyle Menendez made her feel 'safe' to 'love a straight man' for first time
They began talking in 2022, after the convicted killer's wife reached out to O'Donnell to ask if she'd want to speak with him. Their first phone call lasted three hours.
By Kat Stinson
Published on April 13, 2025 04:40PM EDT
15Comments
Rosie O'Donnell; Lyle Menendez on trial in 1994.Credit:
Olivia Wong/Getty; Ted Soqui/Sygma via Getty
A prison sentence was the start of a beautiful friendship for
Rosie O'Donnell and
Lyle Menendez.
The comedian has opened up about her deep bond with Menendez, who was sentenced to life without parole in 1994 alongside his brother,
Erik Menendez, for the 1989 murders of their parents, Kitty and José Menendez.
O'Donnell recalled receiving a letter from Lyle thanking her for her "support" following her 1996 appearance on
Larry King Live, during which she stated that she thought the siblings' killings were a form of self-defense after their father abused and molested them as children. In the letter, Lyle wrote that O'Donnell "knew from a personal place that what he was saying was true," the former talk show host said in a new interview with
The New York Times published Saturday.
The actress alleged that she and her siblings had indeed been molested by their father. "At that point, I had not ventured anywhere near this in my family or in my therapy," she told the
Times. So she never responded to Menendez.
Lyle Menendez on trial.
Kim Kulish/Sygma via Getty
However, in 2022, they forged an unexpected friendship when interest in the Menendez brothers' case surged on TikTok after the release of a documentary detailing the murders and the trial that followed. (The attention only grew following the 2024 premiere of
Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story, the second season of the anthology crime drama from Ryan Murphy.) In response, O'Donnell took to TikTok, again claiming the Menendez brothers were victims of sexual abuse and that they ultimately killed their parents because of it.
Lyle's wife, Rebecca Sneed, reached out to O'Donnell after, asking her if she would want to speak with Lyle. O'Donnell said yes, and her first phone conversation with the prisoner lasted three hours.
"He started calling me on a regular basis from the tablet phone thing they have,” O'Donnell said in the
Times story. "He would tell me about his life, what he's been doing in prison, and, for the first time in my life, I felt safe enough to trust and be vulnerable and love a straight man."
Rosie O'Donnell says Donald Trump has 'had it out' for her for 20 years
'Monsters' star hadn't heard of Menéndez brothers until audition
Dismissing concerns from her friends over their communication, O'Donnell said she visited Menendez in prison, where she saw several inmates with dogs. When she asked Menendez how they were allowed to have pets, he told her about a program the prison had to place dogs with blind, disabled veterans and autistic children, and suggested that she adopt a dog for her 12-year-old son, Clay. He was eventually paired with a Labrador mix, and O'Donnell "noticed the change in Clay immediately." The events inspired O'Donnell to make an upcoming documentary,
Unleashing Hope: The Power of Service Dogs for Autism, which will highlight the positive effects of the prison program. It premieres April 22 on Hulu.
Rosie O'Donnell in 2024.
Stefanie Keenan/Getty
O'Donnell previously spoke about her blossoming connection with Lyle in a June 2023
TikTok, praising Sneed, saying she and Lyle had gotten close, and telling her followers that the Menendez brothers should be freed. "It's time. I believe them," she said. "They were horribly abused by their parents... Free the Menendez brothers."
Sign up for Entertainment Weekly's free daily newsletter to get breaking TV news, exclusive first looks, recaps, reviews, interviews with your favorite stars, and more.
The
SMILF star first opened up about the abuse she allegedly endured from her father, Edward Joseph, in a 2019 interview with
Variety. "It started very young," O'Donnell told the outlet, "and then when my mother died, it sort of ended in a weird way, because then he was with these five children to take care of. On the whole, it's not something I like to talk about. Of course, it changes everyone."
Erik Menendez (left) and his brother Lyle (right) at a pre-trial hearing in 1992.
VINCE BUCCI/AFP via Getty
The former cohost of
The View moved to Ireland in January 2025 with Clay, before Trump's second inauguration. Speaking candidly about her decision on
TikTok, O'Donnell explained that she intended to get Irish citizenship — she has Irish grandparents — and that Clay was "happy."
"When it is safe for all citizens to have equal rights there in America," she said, "that's when we will consider coming back."