Ladies with children from previous relationships I have a question

[destrehan]

anybody can respond but i'm mainly lookin for responses from people in this situation


if you have a child or children from an ex, and have moved on, how much do you or do you expect at all for your new man to have any interaction with your ex? for instance, i'm the type of guy that when my bm does decided to marry someone or have some cat around constantly that will want to have a sit down conversation with him to discuss his role in my children's lives. is that weird/wrong/unecessary? i'm looking at it from the point of view of us being 2 black MEN that should be able to do that. my kids are boys.

 

[LeroyDibiase]

anybody can respond but i'm mainly lookin for responses from people in this situation


if you have a child or children from an ex, and have moved on, how much do you or do you expect at all for your new man to have any interaction with your ex? for instance, i'm the type of guy that when my bm does decided to marry someone or have some cat around constantly that will want to have a sit down conversation with him to discuss his role in my children's lives. is that weird/wrong/unecessary? i'm looking at it from the point of view of us being 2 black MEN that should be able to do that. my kids are boys.

I ain't no gal with no kid, but you right on here. You gotta sit down with dude and scope him out and not on some male posturing type shit either. Too many cases where dude is abusing child and the real father have no idea. A man can recognize certain things in another man. I ain't saying y'all gotta go out to the bar every Friday, but you def wanna be in the mix and if your ex is reasonable, she'll totally understand.

And if you a new dude going into a lady with a baby daddy, you gotta have confidence in yourself enough to know that he's around for the kid, not your woman.

 

[LoneStar29]

WOW ... that's really mature of you ... I'm very impressed cuz most men wouldn't even look at it like that ... I think sitting and talking with your ex's man about your kids is a good idea but only if she is gonna marry him ... I don't think you should be the one to tell every guy she dates how to treat the kids ... that's mos def her responsibility ... I think you and her new man should be cool and mature ... but dont expect to be boys with him or anything ... I think that would be crossing the line ... if you have an open and honest relationship with your kids they'll let you know if any man she dates does them wrong ... then you can deal with his case ... but in the meantime you gotta let her screen the men out ... I know they're your kids and all but you doing it would be creepy like on some "Meet the Parents" type shit

 

[TriniDiva]

interesting question....when my sons dad told me he was gettin married i told him i wanted meet and talk with his fiance..most of my friends told me i was fast and out of place for wanting that , but he was cool with it...i wasnt tryin to be her buddy or anything like that, but since they were gettin married that meant that she would be in my childs life, be a part of his up bringing and so i needed for us all to be on the same page, i need to be able to call her house when my son is there and say hi, whats up to her when she answers and to ask how hes doin without hassle or hate...most time his dad is not at home so my son is with the wife alone...I was at their wedding and she has been to my house, where we had or lil talk. we all get along fine and its better that way...

so my dear, I dont think its wrong or weird...Kudos to you !! if only more ppl thought this way....few of my friends send of their kids to the other parents home and do not speak to the person the dad is with...i cudnt do it, i need to kno who is taking care of my child when hes not with me

 

[sexylegz33]

I think it's extremely important for a parent to know and be at least cordial with someone that is going to play a very important role in their child's life. (when ever possible that is) You don't have to be buddies, just cordial and respectful which is a good example to set for your children. Plus you want to know who's going to be living under the same roof with your sons and possibly making some decisions that will affect them.

I had a good relationship with my daughter's Father's longtime girlfriend and he and my ex fiance were able to shake hands, say hello, have a conversation. Everybody understood that what my ex and I had was over and we were all about what's in the best interest of our child. That would include the type of relationship we had with their potential step parent. Makes life easier for all parties involved, especially the kids which is what's really important anyway.