Ladies, what do you think about this?

[Lola]

I became friends with this white lady I used to work with. She is 47 years old and divorced with two grown children. She was in an abusive marriage for many years and still suffers from low self-esteem and emotional issues.

She's a nice person and we started going weekly out to dinner once a night.


Get this-----
She is ALWAYS, ALWAYS saying all the time how she wants to meet my husband. When we go out, we meet at the place, since I live very far away from the city, so it's too far for her to come to my house.

I don't see why it's such a big deal for her to meet my husband. Our friendship is just that--it's our friendship, so I don't see why it's such a must that she meets my husband! If she had a boyfriend or husband I could see it. I don't think that she is attracted to my husband or anything, I just don't see why that's such a big deal for her to meet him. She is constantly asking and bugging me all the time about how she wants to meet him and talk to him.

Our friendship is "girls night out" . Why is it such a must to meet my husband? Am I missing something here? Is this some cultural white thing?

The funny part is, my husband is a reserved man. All he will do is say hello to her and go to another room. Why do you think she wants to meet him so badly? Is this a white thing?

 

[femmenoire]

Well it could be innocent. Has she mentioned with the same enthusiasm that she'd like to meet your child?

 

[Lola]

Well it could be innocent. Has she mentioned with the same enthusiasm that she'd like to meet your child?

She's actually met my son before, even babysat him a few times for me. I don't know--maybe I am being the strange one, but my girlfriends that I hang with (particularly ones I met at work like her) I just hang with, I just don't see the need to meet my husband.

 

[Jam_Jam]

She probably just really likes you and wants to know your "better half." I don't think you should be alarmed. Let her meet him. It is not uncommon to want to meet the husband or wife of someone you consider to be a friend. If you talk about him a lot she may just be curious and want to put a face to the name. Now if she meets him and then wants to include him in your activities together I would maybe become suspicious.

 

[Steelwill2006]

I don't get it either. If I were friends with a married dude, I could care less if he never introduced me to his wife. But I was in situation where I'd visit a married couple and the wife would question why I wouldn't interact with her. I'm there to visit my patna and not her. So, something is very strange about that. White folk are nosey though.

 

[Lola]

I don't get it either. If I were friends with a married dude, I could care less if he never introduced me to his wife. But I was in situation where I'd visit a married couple and the wife would question why I wouldn't interact with her. I'm there to visit my patna and not her. So, something is very strange about that. White folk are nosey though.

Exactly!!!

 

[bigirl]

my question is does the lady have any other black friends? maybe she is just too curious as they tend to be

i don't have a husband but i have had white people all too eager to meet my friends and family in a similar fashion.

 

[Lola]

my question is does the lady have any other black friends? maybe she is just too curious as they tend to be

i don't have a husband but i have had white people all too eager to meet my friends and family in a similar fashion.

I'm her only black friend. She is the sweetest person to me, I can't say a bad thing about her, she just so damned nosey!

I think you're right bigirl...white people like to meet your friends and family....If have a friend that I hang out with once a week just for drinks and "girl time out", I could give a rat's ass if I ever meet her husband. For some reason, they are obssessed with that shit.

I posted this same question on a mommy messageboard and I got a totally different answer to my question (I was trying to see if this is a white thing)

Check out this reply...

Maybe she wants to meet your husband because she wants to deepen your friendship. I know the husbands of my good friends and I imagine if I didn't know a friend's husband I might be curious and want to meet him sometime. Do you talk about your husband a lot? If so, that might make her interested in meeting him and give her a reason to say so. Or, maybe she just is lonely and wants to hang out more with you and your DH.

Um, excuse me, but no single divorced woman is going to be "hanging out" with me and my husband..WTF?

 

[bigirl]

I'm her only black friend. She is the sweetest person to me, I can't say a bad thing about her, she just so damned nosey!

I think you're right bigirl...white people like to meet your friends and family....If have a friend that I hang out with once a week just for drinks and "girl time out", I could give a rat's ass if I ever meet her husband. For some reason, they are obssessed with that shit.

I posted this same question on a mommy messageboard and I got a totally different answer to my question (I was trying to see if this is a white thing)

Check out this reply...

Maybe she wants to meet your husband because she wants to deepen your friendship. I know the husbands of my good friends and I imagine if I didn't know a friend's husband I might be curious and want to meet him sometime. Do you talk about your husband a lot? If so, that might make her interested in meeting him and give her a reason to say so. Or, maybe she just is lonely and wants to hang out more with you and your DH.

Um, excuse me, but no single divorced woman is going to be "hanging out" with me and my husband..WTF?

@ mommyboard reply

BINGO! Case closed. You are her first black friend and she is just SOOOO curious and dying to meet more.

See this is what I always talk about. I try to have white friends some of them are really genuinely nice, but some type of bullshit always comes with it.

*possible solution* invite her out with you and some of your other black girlfriends and I betcha she will forget all about the husband

also keep in mind that married white people do kind of different. from what i have seen they have the same friends. they go out together with other married couples and shit. so that might be the basis from which she is coming from.

 

[Lola]

@ mommyboard reply

also keep in mind that married white people do kind of different. from what i have seen they have the same friends. they go out together with other married couples and shit. so that might be the basis from which she is coming from.

Isn't that mommyboard reply pathetic?? White women, I swear....

As far as her hanging out with us, she is divorced, has NO MAN. She was married for 17 years to an abusive man, been divorced now for about 4 years and makes comments that let's me know she is still messed up from the abuse...she's pretty skeptical and mistrusting of men. That's what I don't get--she doesn't have a man in her life, so again I don't know why she keeps asking about meeting my husband.

That's the only reply I got from the mommyboard. I think I offended those white girls..LOL

 

[bigirl]

Isn't that mommyboard reply pathetic?? White women, I swear....

As far as her hanging out with us, she is divorced, has NO MAN. She was married for 17 years to an abusive man, been divorced now for about 4 years and makes comments that let's me know she is still messed up from the abuse...she's pretty skeptical and mistrusting of men. That's what I don't get--she doesn't have a man in her life, so again I don't know why she keeps asking about it.

That's the only reply I got from the mommyboard. I think I offended those white girls..LOL

I was saying that maybe what shes used to from when she was married is the couple always going out together.

Fuck the mommyboard.

 

[Lola]

@ mommyboard reply

also keep in mind that married white people do kind of different. from what i have seen they have the same friends. they go out together with other married couples and shit. so that might be the basis from which she is coming from.

Yeah, they are like that. Well, she can forget it. I'm not trying to make she and my husband "friends". She can cancel that one!

 

[bigirl]

Yeah, they are like that. Well, she can forget it. I'm not trying to make she and my husband "friends". She can cancel that one!

I would say if she brings it up again just speak on it. If she gets offended too fucking bad.

 

[b0010100]

Da fuck?!?!

pale face bitch sounds shady! Not that im racist against peckawoods or some shit, i mean, i've got friends that are kikes, wops, and ginnys or some mutt combination of the lot. i just don't trust em!


seriously, what if ya dude was ALWAYS pressed to see ur bitch? I'd be some FUCK YOU! fast

 

[Shadow]

Da fuck?!?!

pale face bitch sounds shady! Not that im racist against peckawoods or some shit, i mean, i've got friends that are kikes, wops, and ginnys or some mutt combination of the lot. i just don't trust em!


seriously, what if ya dude was ALWAYS pressed to see ur bitch? I'd be some FUCK YOU! fast

 

[Blunt]

I'm not a woman but I can't help but comment:

In pointless racial terms, your "black" paranoia is far more troubling (and odd) than her natural "white" curiousity.

Here's a novel idea, just ask her what her relentless interest in him is.

 

[TRUFICTION]

I Think You Are Reading Too Much Into It.
Here Is One Of Many Reasons That The White And Black Culture
Dont Get Along. Cultural Differences
I Admit They Can Be Nosy
However They Also Do Things More Often As Couples Than Blacks
And Dont Complain About Being Around Them Too Much.

Truth Be Told
When You Develop Friendships And Surround Yourself With People
That Your Spouse Doesnt Know, Its Actually A Form Of Cheating.

Black People Have A Tendency To Think They Should Be Separate From Their Spouse To Do Certain Things Which Is Part Of The Reason For The High Divorce Rate Among Our Race.

If She Is ...as You Call It, A Friend
She Should Want To Meet Your Husband.
She Wants To Know Your Other Half In Order To See What Makes Her Friend Complete And The Person That You Are.
Are You Possibly Tossing The Term Friend Around Too Loosely ?

Is She Pretty ?
You Seem A Little Disturbed By The Notion Of Her Meeting Him As Though You Have Some Innate Fear Of Her Possibly
Getting With Him.
Your Brief Story And Responses Reek Of Insecurity.
Either You Dont Trust Either Of Them
Or You Intend On Keeping Her All To Yourself

Thats Just My Opinion And It Means Nothing But
I Still Think You Are Thinking Too Much.

 

[xfactor]

I have nothing to add to this thread except...

I'm not a woman

​

 

[t0k3]

If she is worried about her getting with her husband,I don't know...
I made the mistake of looking at a 40+ porno mag once and I'm scarred for life.
I do my best not to generalize but...
White women(at least all the ones in the mag)do not hold up well in the pussy dept.
Everyone of them looked like they had a dead decaying beaver with it's tongue hanging out between their legs.
She's 47,myself,no waycouldn't do it.

 

[bigirl]

cunt makes me feel angry and violent

 

[HoneyBerry]

I think she is just nosy. But most people you work with, you see them more than your own family. So it's only natural that they want to meet your man, especially if you all get along well at work. Not just white people...

 

[34real]

I think she's just Needy in that she wants a social life and maybe the more she knows about you the better she can feel about you.

White people in general are some nosy muthafuckers and she might just be doing what they do.

Tell your husband to come and say"hello" and leave and if she continues to go on about him,just come out and ask her the same questions your asking now.

 

[mk23666]

Cultural differences.
Social etiquite differences.
Age/generational differences.

Curiosity or ignorance of these differences on her part.

Test it out and count your blessings if it's nothing. Great friends are hard to come by White or Black.

 

[Lola]

I Think You Are Reading Too Much Into It.
Here Is One Of Many Reasons That The White And Black Culture
Dont Get Along. Cultural Differences
I Admit They Can Be Nosy
However They Also Do Things More Often As Couples Than Blacks
And Dont Complain About Being Around Them Too Much.

Truth Be Told
When You Develop Friendships And Surround Yourself With People
That Your Spouse Doesnt Know, Its Actually A Form Of Cheating.

Black People Have A Tendency To Think They Should Be Separate From Their Spouse To Do Certain Things Which Is Part Of The Reason For The High Divorce Rate Among Our Race.

If She Is ...as You Call It, A Friend
She Should Want To Meet Your Husband.
She Wants To Know Your Other Half In Order To See What Makes Her Friend Complete And The Person That You Are.
Are You Possibly Tossing The Term Friend Around Too Loosely ?

Is She Pretty ?
You Seem A Little Disturbed By The Notion Of Her Meeting Him As Though You Have Some Innate Fear Of Her Possibly
Getting With Him.
Your Brief Story And Responses Reek Of Insecurity.
Either You Dont Trust Either Of Them
Or You Intend On Keeping Her All To Yourself

Thats Just My Opinion And It Means Nothing But
I Still Think You Are Thinking Too Much.

Oh, it MOST DEFINITELY is NOT that I'm insecure he would "get" with her. LOL!!! No way!!!! That's the farthest from my mind. When we go out, she always comments how I "light up the room" and no one ever talks to her or notices her. Like I said, she has very low self-esteem from her abusive marriage.

I just know that she has met other co-workers husbands and made comments like this:

I met Susie's husband before, he was not that nice.

I met Kathy's husband and he seemed "abrasive".

I'm like, WTF??? She is too worried about other folks husbands for me.

 

[bigirl]

I just know that she has met other co-workers husbands and made comments like this:

I met Susie's husband before, he was not that nice.

I met Kathy's husband and he seemed "abrasive".

I'm like, WTF??? She is too worried about other folks husbands for me.

thats just a white people thing. they love to get all up in everyones business and talk trash behind their backs. if you call it "cultural" then so be it.

 

[Lola]

Black People Have A Tendency To Think They Should Be Separate From Their Spouse To Do Certain Things Which Is Part Of The Reason For The High Divorce Rate Among Our Race.

This is NOT true. White people divorce like CRAZY. Where do you think those high divorce statistics are from? Every white person I know is on their second or third marriages. That's a FACT.