Ladies, need your opinion

[Cybts1]

Ladies,

I know a Mother’s love is unconditional but what do you say to woman with parenting issues and NO COMMON SENSE??

I know a woman who has a son, who started college in Sept. He wanted to go to a VERY EXPENSIVE college away from home because he thinks he wants to be a lawyer. That is all well and good but let me give the rundown of the last 18 months of this young man’s life.

In these last few months leading up to going to college these few things have happened:

He came home after smoking weed in the park. His mother could tell he had been smoking and made him take her back to the place he got the weed. He took her back there and she went up to the people and told them to leave her baby alone because he was a good kid.

While his mother was away on vacation, the young man who is under drinking age had a house party and was drinking. The police were called and he was taken to the station and was charged for under aged drinking and had to do community service to get out of trouble.

He had to see the doctor because he became sick from “huffing” something that caused him to be taking the emergency room for treatment.

He was seeing two girls in the same high school he attends and when they found and confronted him, he was so upset he tried to take his own life.

Now after all that, his mother was willing to go into MAJOR debt to send this young man to an EXPENSIVE college away from home.

As far as college, he did get into another less expensive school closer to home but not where he wants to be.

Now let me say, the mother is no hood rat from around the way. She went to and paid for her own education from a VERY GOOD school. As for the daddy, he is an African who drives a cab in Brooklyn and is not really in the young man’s life, nor does he really want to be.

Who is the fool here? The mother who can’t see the forest for the trees or the young men who would not know a tree from a cactus?

The woman says to me, "you don't know what it is like to have children". She is correct, I have no children but I am far from a DAMN FOOL.

What say you Ladies??

 

[wetlioness]

She needs to stop babying him kick him off her titts stop making excuses for him and her...he is a adult and she probably blames herself for his actions now if she raised him the right way and does everything wrong that's on him let it go

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Please tell me this is a white kid.

 

[Cybts1]

Please tell me this is a white kid.

NOPE!

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

NOPE!

Then he's been poisoned by them. Because none of this makes sense.

 

[Rossini]

She needs to stop babying him kick him off her titts stop making excuses for him and her...he is a adult and she probably blames herself for his actions now if she raised him the right way and does everything wrong that's on him let it go

a women cant raise a man the right way

 

[Mississippi]

a women cant raise a man the right way

I can agree. I don't think a woman can teach a boy to be a man.

As far as ole girl is concerned, she is only enabling her son. He won't succeed until he learns what hard work, responsibility, and dedication are. Hopefully she will make him stand on his own two before she goes broke or has her heart broken.

 

[wetlioness]

a women cant raise a man the right way

Some men raise there sons and they still can turn out to be like this so I don't think that's the issue YOU RAISE YOUR CHILDREN AND WHEN THEY BECOME ADULTS THEY WILL LAKE THERE OWN DECISIONS

 

[Mo-Better]

Kids today don't appreciate what is given to them. They have to earn it themselves. At this point she's done all a mother s/b expected to do.

If he wants to be a lawyer let him do it on his own. Let him pay that cost. If he's sincere about being a success he'll find there's no room for getting high. She needs to stop coddling him. He needs to grow up.

 

[Cybts1]

Kids today don't appreciate what is given to them. They have to earn it themselves. At this point she's done all a mother s/b expected to do.

If he wants to be a lawyer let him do it on his own. Let him pay that cost. If he's sincere about being a success he'll find there's no room for getting high. She needs to stop coddling him. He needs to grow up.

This has been explained to her time and time again. She finds every reason in the world to keep up the enabling that she does. She is one of those college educated fools if you know what I mean.

This summer she got him a job where she works. It was a real work job doing heavy lifting in a hot warehouse. She told him had to use the money to pay for books and possibly a car. The wise young man that he is as a college freshmen, he bought books with some and then spent $375 on a pair of sneakers. When I tried to explain the error of his ways, she defends the fact that he did not steal them and he did work for the money.

I just shake my head.

 

[ladyscorpio]

Seems from what you have stated here that she is afraid that if she doesn't do what ever he wants that she will lose him. She would rather be in debt than lose her "baby" However she really does have to get some sort of reality check because she is setting him up to fail he will never comprehend what it really means to get his own on his own.
It doesn't help that he is older now because his behaviors are already engrained and it will be difficult to turn that around. The discipline that was necessary would have to be done from toddler hood.




Peace

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

There's nothing can be done and nothing can be said to this woman OP. She was LOST from the beginning, and reading the types of things this boy has done he's just as lost as she is. Another 1 will bite the dust.

 

[Cybts1]

There's nothing can be done and nothing can be said to this woman OP. She was LOST from the beginning, and reading the types of things this boy has done he's just as lost as she is. Another 1 will bite the dust.

I have to agree with you. There is WAY more to her story and it only keeps going down hill.

 

[Rossini]

Seems from what you have stated here that she is afraid that if she doesn't do what ever he wants that she will lose him. She would rather be in debt than lose her "baby" However she really does have to get some sort of reality check because she is setting him up to fail he will never comprehend what it really means to get his own on his own.
It doesn't help that he is older now because his behaviors are already engrained and it will be difficult to turn that around. The discipline that was necessary would have to be done from toddler hood.




Peace

he can change his ways, he just has to go through some struggle, which WILL happen eventually.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

I'd like to note that in a thread titled clearly LADIES - Need your opinion. Rossini came in and posted.

Just making a note.

 

[puss&boots]

If you have tried to sit her down and forewarn her there really isn't much else you can do. I don't have kids either and all my friends do, but I have lived enough and seen enough to still offer good advice, so I hate when they say that. The only thing that is going to help him is to get out on his own and see, but it for damn sure wouldn't be no expensive ass school, on my dime. You live and you learn. Le sigh.