ladies,honest opinons and insight only please

[juniorfinesse]

here the deal

me and my girl have been together for about three years when i met her i was a single parent

i got laid off of my job at a radio station , and have been boxing professionaly to make ends meet

while she worked on a bachelors degree i watched her child and paid the large majorty of all the bills even wrote some papers for her

i took a lot of fights on short notice just to make it(have not found a job yet ) some time s how ever i would make really good money (14,000) i would help get all her stuff in order including school (paid the diffrence that students loan did not cover) then we drove all over the world looking for her a nursing job i paid for every thing of course and .....nothing
finally she got a nursing job in where were living and stoped even training so i could watch her daughter while she did a 6 week orientation and continued to watch her while she worked ( i trained when she was at school )

in nov I fought for a world title and won ( din't make a lot ) so the plan was to lay lo rest my body ( i fought 14 times in 2010) but about that time she get a call from Georgia to work in her "dream job"she takes the job and im like man how am i going to make this move happen then about 8 days before its time move i get a call to fight and at that point i had no choice so i take it when i come back 1600 in her purse and keep the rest .

when we get to ga i pay all the deposits (she kept saying she would pay me back ) for utilities and put another 600 dollars in her account not to mention buying fast foood all day for every body and then spending 400 on grocery . finally im out of money and its Christmas so im looking for her to help me get my kids something for Christmas she does it but i have to hear a mouthful so i have to give my kids a couple games from game stop and call it a day

now she is making money and i am assuming she is looking at me like im not worthy of being with her now thats the feeling im getting from her ladies please weigh in

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

You guys JUST moved there in Nov? It's JUST december. How much money could she have made in 1 month? lol. Why do you feel like this? Give me more details. What has she said? Is it just that you're feeling this way?

The plain truth though is usually women inside feel like if they're taking care of you financially in some ways then you're not really worth much. It doesn't matter HOW freakin long you've paid her this or that.

I advise you to get a job. Right quick on the double. Don't worry about christmas. Your kid will understand eventually, trust me. My main concern is what has she said to you to make you feel this way. was it this 1 thing? Or is this a self imposed feeling?

 

[moufasa]

You can't be giving in expectation, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.

The best model for love is the love a parent has for their kids. When a parent gives their kids. they don't care if the kids get up some day to abuse them.

The joy you get from giving should be the reward.

 

[juniorfinesse]

i had to ask for some gas money and she just geve me this look .... and im like wow ...... i am trying to find work but its harrrd we have only been here since dec 7 and I blew about 4 grand moving and now she is the only one makiing and my next fight is not untill febuary....

 

[Izayoi]

Junior considering you put your body and health on the line to support your family I don't see how she would perceive you as less than?
Like LI said is this stuff she is doing and saying or are you feeling it?

Tough times should make you grow closer as a couple not turn on each other, but realistically that doesn't always happen. Honestly, are there other issues going on between you two? Maybe the money stuff is just amplifying some other stuff. Secretly, do you feel like you have given too much of yourself to this person and sacrificed some dreams of your own?

No easy answers here.

 

[juniorfinesse]

no easy answer is right ... maybe im just feeling but it but its a stong feeling though ... i do feel like i made a lot sacrifices to take of my fam though i just pray i can find a job and make some real money then make a killining the fight game

 

[Izayoi]

no easy answer is right ... maybe im just feeling but it but its a stong feeling though ... i do feel like i made a lot sacrifices to take of my fam though i just pray i can find a job and make some real money then make a killining the fight game

I think no matter what direction the issues are coming from you have to honor how you feel, because that's real. I feel like man get caught between a rock and hard place sometimes because as a society we don't give men a lot of opportunity to express how they feel (especially feeling frustrated and unappreciated) without labeling them. Everybody regardless of gender wants to feel appreciated in their relationships and safe that somebody has their back in tough times.

Hope things work out for you fam. Maybe when the financial pressure is off the two of you can get some clarity about your future and health as a couple.

 

[followup]

your first mistake was paying for everything while you all were living together. But that is the past. Maybe you are reading too much into it though, or maybe you are the one who is making a big deal about it. But I will tell you most women expect a man to be bringing in some steady income. Do you have any job prospects? Retail sales? Garbage man? UPS delivery? Janitor? Collections? Anything to be bringing in some income until you can do what you want....

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Sorry you're down on your outs right there sir. But it still sounds like you're making this out to be more than it is. And if it is like that? Why are you still with her?

If you sacrifice for a woman and then as soon as it gets turned a month later she's acting out?

Drop that female. FEMALE because that's not a woman brother.

 

[juniorfinesse]

i apriciate all the insight yall , I have had a couple call backs but nothing on the job tip yet .... im goinig to continue to press on cuz i love this chic but it aint meant i guess there is any thing i can do again thank yall for responding !!!!