Ladies Help!!What happens when you love someone but you are not in love with them.

tmp1971

Support BGOL
Registered
I have a good wife in regards to the fact that she works, cleans up, cooks, and alot of domestic chores. I share in the same responsibilities but what turns her into the Angel of Death in when I ask or hint at having sex. Its gotten to the point of having to negotiate when is a good time to have sex. I want it 3-4 days a week. I get it 3-4 days over the course of 3-4 months and thats if I am lucky. We have been together for 16 years(married for the last 15 years). She doesn't ask for much and she is cool expect when it comes to the bedroom. I look at her nowadays like a best friend because we can talk and chop it up but when it comes to the bedroom she is all thumbs. It hasn't always been like this but it been consistently bad over the last 10 years. She rations out he loving and expects me to be satisfied. It hard to stay faithful when you want to work out that frustration and the frustration is only building more because I am being denied.:smh: Ladies, Give your boy some advice!!!!
 
Last edited:
Re: Ladies Help!!What happens when you love someone but you are not in love with them

I aint a lady but at some point you gotta have a serious talk with her. Sex is just as important as other parts in the relationship.
 
Re: Ladies Help!!What happens when you love someone but you are not in love with them

Have you asked her why she doesn't want to have sex? Do you do things to turn her on? Do you know how to turn her on? Sex is more than just an act with (most)women, so you need to stimulate her mentally.
 
Re: Ladies Help!!What happens when you love someone but you are not in love with them

basically, you need to sit down with your wife and find out how she feels about life in general. You guys have been married for 16 years but you haven't really mentioned anything about whether y'all have any children.

She may be worried about one thing or the other and just wants you to ask her what's up on a general basis.

I'm not a woman myself but I do know that talking is one of the best things y'all can engage in to at least find out what's really good.

Looking outside of your marriage for any kind of sexual release/satisfaction will like totally fuck things up so don't go there.

Talk, listen and then move on from there.

Good luck.

Peace.
 
Re: Ladies Help!!What happens when you love someone but you are not in love with them

You think if she meets a new cat on the low, she's going to ration it to him the way she does you?

The problem ain't her bruh, it's you. That's the mistake niggas make with women after years of marriage, you think that turning her on is still the same as it was 5-10 years ago before the novelty of the pussy wore off.

Now you gotta fuck her mind before you fuck her, if you can't understand that, you're going to lose out to fuckers like me who look for women like your wife.
 
Re: Ladies Help!!What happens when you love someone but you are not in love with them

"I want it 3-4 days a week" ..............................:yes:


"I get it 3-4 days over the course of 3-4 months and thats if I am lucky" ...................................................:eek: *dies*
 
Re: Ladies Help!!What happens when you love someone but you are not in love with them

You think if she meets a new cat on the low, she's going to ration it to him the way she does you?

The problem ain't her bruh, it's you. That's the mistake niggas make with women after years of marriage, you think that turning her on is still the same as it was 5-10 years ago before the novelty of the pussy wore off.

Now you gotta fuck her mind before you fuck her, if you can't understand that, you're going to lose out to fuckers like me who look for women like your wife.

I can't even front.

The number of times I get hit ojn by married women is ridiculous so I can dig where the Pornbrokerxxx dude is coming from.
 
Re: Ladies Help!!What happens when you love someone but you are not in love with them

I can't even front.

The number of times I get hit ojn by married women is ridiculous so I can dig where the Pornbrokerxxx dude is coming from.

This just started happening to me recently, in excess. I am trying to figure out what type of vibe I am giving off. It is exhilarating but scary at the same time.

Anyway, not to take shine away from the OP, TALK. That's the key. It appears some type of emotional need may not be being fulfilled. Like the previous brothers in this thread have stated, start with the basics. The lack of sex is the manifestation of a possible problem elsewhere.

How does she feel about herself? How does she feel about you? How does she feel about the two of you? How does she feel about the relationship pre nuptials? How does she feel about the marriage post nuptials?

This is just the beginning. Out of this line of questioning, you should be able to extract some type of kodak moment of where something may, just may, have gone wrong. Then, you gotta talk about it some more until its right.

I believe in love. I don't believe "in love." For me, that is a fancy phrase for infatuation. You love her or your don't, bottom line. Compatibility may be off in an area or two, but you love her bottom line. Love is not a feeling, it is an action verb. If she never heard you say it, your actions should define you.
 
Re: Ladies Help!!What happens when you love someone but you are not in love with them

Pornbrokerxxx, you couldn't be more wrong. I have always been creative and a freak when it come to the bedroom. My wife I believe has the mentality that she is safe and that she doesn't have to do anything sexually to retain me. I know you have to change up some to keep things hot after 16 years. Some married women will tip out if their man is already tipping to or if the sex is wack. My wife just ain't trying to fuck. She is my best friend and we are together alot. We only have 1 child and she is 15. She doesn't have any excuses from my vantage point.
 
Re: Ladies Help!!What happens when you love someone but you are not in love with them

Pornbrokerxxx, you couldn't be more wrong. I have always been creative and a freak when it come to the bedroom. My wife I believe has the mentality that she is safe and that she doesn't have to do anything sexually to retain me. I know you have to change up some to keep things hot after 16 years. Some married women will tip out if their man is already tipping to or if the sex is wack. My wife just ain't trying to fuck. She is my best friend and we are together alot. We only have 1 child and she is 15. She doesn't have any excuses from my vantage point.

Every man is america is shedding a tear for you right now! Bless your soul. :(
 
Re: Ladies Help!!What happens when you love someone but you are not in love with them

But seriously it sounds like she's not trying to hear that shit. Have you tried going to a counselor or to some 3rd party that you can both speak out in front of? Try watching that "Sex in the City" movie with her, that may be her cup of tea AND this exact situation & consequence is presented in it, it may shed some light for her.

Lay it on the line flat playa, Ask her about the possibilities of opening up, maybe give swinging a try. Emphasize the fact that your days of being faithful are coming to an end bc a brother needs some.
 
Re: Ladies Help!!What happens when you love someone but you are not in love with them

I hate to bring bad news to you...but when it is that bad normally your wife is cheating.

Let me keep it real with you. Man fuck all that talk about fulfilling her emotional needs. That is straight game women use to try and justify why they creeping. Don't fall for it. The reason your wife is not having sex on a regular bases is because someone else is hitting it.
 
Re: Ladies Help!!What happens when you love someone but you are not in love with them

Pornbrokerxxx, you couldn't be more wrong. I have always been creative and a freak when it come to the bedroom. My wife I believe has the mentality that she is safe and that she doesn't have to do anything sexually to retain me. I know you have to change up some to keep things hot after 16 years. Some married women will tip out if their man is already tipping to or if the sex is wack. My wife just ain't trying to fuck. She is my best friend and we are together alot. We only have 1 child and she is 15. She doesn't have any excuses from my vantage point.

Being creative or a freak maybe good for you, but that doesn't equate to it being good for her. A lot of times a man's idea of freakiness or creativity does not equate to romance or being mentally stimulated... freakiness is not romance, freakiness is freakiness, that shit aint synonymous...Sit down have an open dialogue about it and stop feeling like you doing all the right things, because if you were, you wouldn't be here asking this question. IMHO it sounds like you two are in the friend zone of your relationship and need to spice shit up, create some tension, have some passion. Come with an open heart and open mind...it might just be that she is not attracted to you anymore...which you have to be prepared to hear...or that your sex game is not as good as it needs to be..... trust me, quality penis is hard to come by and a lot of women may not like their husbands but will still fuck them if the sex is good and vice versa for the men.
 
Last edited:
Re: Ladies Help!!What happens when you love someone but you are not in love with them

Sounds like some other cat is giving your wife tha business and she doesn't have enough energy to give you any.NEVER LOOK PASSED THAT SHIT.Try to get counseling.If shes creeping eventually it'll come out and if its something else that will come out to.How much time do yah spend apart during tha day???
I would say take tha day off and check up on her but you might not be prepared for what you see and you might snap. :smh::smh:
Most of tha time when people who have been married for a long time stop having sex alot with each other their fucking ALOT elsewhere.
 
Re: Ladies Help!!What happens when you love someone but you are not in love with them

I hate to bring bad news to you...but when it is that bad normally your wife is cheating.

Let me keep it real with you. Man fuck all that talk about fulfilling her emotional needs. That is straight game women use to try and justify why they creeping. Don't fall for it. The reason your wife is not having sex on a regular bases is because someone else is hitting it.

I disagree... it could really be something in their relationship that is turning her off...

OP.. I agree with people who have said talk about it. When you mentioned her good qualities, you said things like she cooks & cleans and stuff.. but what about attractiveness? Are you attracted to her? is she attracted to you? You guys probably have slipped into that point where things are more of a routine vs. passion filled. Passion is huge in a relationship. Talk to her.. find out where her head is.. tell her where your head is.. People change over time.. get to know her again..
 
Re: Ladies Help!!What happens when you love someone but you are not in love with them

Every man is america is shedding a tear for you right now! Bless your soul. :(

co-sign

i would lose it if the only women i love wouldn't give me sex...
was she always like that?
 
Re: Ladies Help!!What happens when you love someone but you are not in love with them

:hmm: You may not be speaking her love language. Peep this book, "The Five Love Lauguages".

I'm just saying, shit couldn't hurt ;)
 
Re: Ladies Help!!What happens when you love someone but you are not in love with them

You think if she meets a new cat on the low, she's going to ration it to him the way she does you?

The problem ain't her bruh, it's you. That's the mistake niggas make with women after years of marriage, you think that turning her on is still the same as it was 5-10 years ago before the novelty of the pussy wore off.

Now you gotta fuck her mind before you fuck her, if you can't understand that, you're going to lose out to fuckers like me who look for women like your wife.

c/s :yes:
 
Back
Top