Is there really a perfect partner??

I was reading this link that i got over on BGOL (http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200803/single-marry) and the number of threads posted on the topic over here. Are we really looking for too much in our prospective partners? Are the things women look for in their potential partners based on reality instead of romance novels and showing off in front of their friends and to the world.

Do we as men hunt for our partners in life with unrealistic expectations? We want women who love to cook, clean, swallow our cum, bend into any sexual position and cater to our every whim while never having any conflict with us.

Do we hold every little flaw up to the microscope instead of accepting the person for who they are? Do you judge your partner based on what your friends think of them rather than how you feel about them?

Or is it simply that we are being socialized into believing that there is gold at the end of that there rainbow i.e that perfect partner out there who is our soul mate and the yin to our yang.

Do we even consciously realize that every time we get with someone new that they are being compared favorably or unfavorably to those who came before them?
 
Good questions AlexandM. I think most people talk a lot of shit but when it comes down to it can you find someone perfect for YOU?

Someone I know stated it well:
Everyone gets 10--some get 8 in looks, 2 in personality, some people get 6 in personality, 4 in looks etc etc but in the end everyone gets 10! :lol:

Basically stop stressing over a perfect mate.
Are you physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually attracted to this person? Do you think you can have a future with him or her? Do you share the same core values? Are you certain he or she is not bug shit crazy?....if you answered yes to all of the above then its as perfect as its gonna get!
 
There is no such thing as perfect ... I feel alot of people set this unrealistic standard for a mate and part of it is due to what their peoples might think ... I mean alot of females want that guy that they're friends will be like "AWWWWWWW" over and guys want the girl all their friends will go "DAAAAAAANG" over ... personally I do me ... I don't care if my friends like him or not
 
There is no such thing as perfect ... I feel alot of people set this unrealistic standard for a mate and part of it is due to what their peoples might think ... I mean alot of females want that guy that they're friends will be like "AWWWWWWW" over and guys want the girl all their friends will go "DAAAAAAANG" over ... personally I do me ... I don't care if my friends like him or not


C/S


:yes::yes::yes::yes::yes:
 
Good questions AlexandM. I think most people talk a lot of shit but when it comes down to it can you find someone perfect for YOU?

Someone I know stated it well:
Everyone gets 10--some get 8 in looks, 2 in personality, some people get 6 in personality, 4 in looks etc etc but in the end everyone gets 10! :lol:

Basically stop stressing over a perfect mate.
Are you physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually attracted to this person? Do you think you can have a future with him or her? Do you share the same core values? Are you certain he or she is not bug shit crazy?....if you answered yes to all of the above then its as perfect as its gonna get!
There is no such thing as perfect ... I feel alot of people set this unrealistic standard for a mate and part of it is due to what their peoples might think ... I mean alot of females want that guy that they're friends will be like "AWWWWWWW" over and guys want the girl all their friends will go "DAAAAAAANG" over ... personally I do me ... I don't care if my friends like him or not

perfect.jpg
 
There is no such thing as perfect ... I feel alot of people set this unrealistic standard for a mate and part of it is due to what their peoples might think ... I mean alot of females want that guy that they're friends will be like "AWWWWWWW" over and guys want the girl all their friends will go "DAAAAAAANG" over ... personally I do me ... I don't care if my friends like him or not

C/S. Took the words right out my mouth. Keep trying to find "the perfect partner" and you'll be alone for a long time.
 
There is no such thing as perfect ... I feel alot of people set this unrealistic standard for a mate and part of it is due to what their peoples might think ... I mean alot of females want that guy that they're friends will be like "AWWWWWWW" over and guys want the girl all their friends will go "DAAAAAAANG" over ... personally I do me ... I don't care if my friends like him or not
c/s
The thought of perfection in a mate is an illusion that has the sole purpose of clouding one's judgement. From my most previous experience, I've learned that the key is to forget all the perfect mate nonsense that usually gets put in our head by society and find the person who appeals to you in the ways you desire. In the end, you're the one who is with that person; not your friends, family, neighbors, etc....
 
I was reading this link that i got over on BGOL (http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200803/single-marry) and the number of threads posted on the topic over here. Are we really looking for too much in our prospective partners? Are the things women look for in their potential partners based on reality instead of romance novels and showing off in front of their friends and to the world.

Do we as men hunt for our partners in life with unrealistic expectations? We want women who love to cook, clean, swallow our cum, bend into any sexual position and cater to our every whim while never having any conflict with us.

Do we hold every little flaw up to the microscope instead of accepting the person for who they are? Do you judge your partner based on what your friends think of them rather than how you feel about them?

Or is it simply that we are being socialized into believing that there is gold at the end of that there rainbow i.e that perfect partner out there who is our soul mate and the yin to our yang.

Do we even consciously realize that every time we get with someone new that they are being compared favorably or unfavorably to those who came before them?

Great thread. I find myself in this predicament a lot. Recently I've been getting to know a friend a little bit better. He's pretty cool, extremely ambitious & successful, but there are some quirks about his appearance that I can not get over. I asked myself many times if I was being superficial, naive, picky. But the answer was this is something that grosses me out. I had to mentally put him in the friend category and if he makes any moves I gotta tell him I'm not interested in him like that.
 
I was reading this link that i got over on BGOL (http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200803/single-marry) and the number of threads posted on the topic over here. Are we really looking for too much in our prospective partners? Are the things women look for in their potential partners based on reality instead of romance novels and showing off in front of their friends and to the world.

Do we as men hunt for our partners in life with unrealistic expectations? We want women who love to cook, clean, swallow our cum, bend into any sexual position and cater to our every whim while never having any conflict with us.

Do we hold every little flaw up to the microscope instead of accepting the person for who they are? Do you judge your partner based on what your friends think of them rather than how you feel about them?

Or is it simply that we are being socialized into believing that there is gold at the end of that there rainbow i.e that perfect partner out there who is our soul mate and the yin to our yang.

Do we even consciously realize that every time we get with someone new that they are being compared favorably or unfavorably to those who came before them?

I don't believe in soul mates or that a perfect match exists so I wouldn't say I was guilty of trying to find the perfect woman. Most of my issues have come from within. I have passed on at least two females that would have been good mates. I regret it now, but hindsight is 20/20. My goal now is to be ready when the next suitable mate comes along and not sabotage the relationship with my insecurities like I have done before.
 
Great thread. I find myself in this predicament a lot. Recently I've been getting to know a friend a little bit better. He's pretty cool, extremely ambitious & successful, but there are some quirks about his appearance that I can not get over. I asked myself many times if I was being superficial, naive, picky. But the answer was this is something that grosses me out. I had to mentally put him in the friend category and if he makes any moves I gotta tell him I'm not interested in him like that.

Pleeeeeeease do tell what those quirks were:lol:I'm intrested to know cuz I've got this thing about teeth ... any teeth deformaties really turn me off ... but I try to overlook that and focus more on the personality
 
Pleeeeeeease do tell what those quirks were:lol:I'm intrested to know cuz I've got this thing about teeth ... any teeth deformaties really turn me off ... but I try to overlook that and focus more on the personality

Teeth and nails. Messed up teeth especially in a man 30 or older. They've got payment plans and you can get the dental work done and miss 2 days or less of work. And if a man's nails are too long or too short, it weirds me out. There is a happy medium and nail clippers are a man's best friend. I don't mind his little pudge of a belly, I don't mind the shorter height, I don't mind the weak fashion sense, but the nails & the teeth :smh:
 
It all comes down to how much of the other person's bullshit you're willing to put up with. That's a "bottom line up front" way of saying it but, it is what it is. Good/great sex does not a relationship make(it dam sure don't hurt it though). Those who are old enough to remember the movie "Car Wash", remember that the Fly (Buzzzzzzzzz) told ol' girl off at her job about waiting for "prince charming". it kills me when you hear someone say. "oh, me and so and so NEVER argue. them mofo's are living a lie. EVERYBODY argues. no two people agree on everything. I thought I had found my "soulmate" until she fucked around on me BOTH times I deployed. Needless to say, I'm past that fantasy of finding the perfect person. Intimacy, understanding one another, communication, trust and respect. That's the perfect relationship. There is no perfect partner.
 
Teeth and nails. Messed up teeth especially in a man 30 or older. They've got payment plans and you can get the dental work done and miss 2 days or less of work. And if a man's nails are too long or too short, it weirds me out. There is a happy medium and nail clippers are a man's best friend. I don't mind his little pudge of a belly, I don't mind the shorter height, I don't mind the weak fashion sense, but the nails & the teeth :smh:

Just out of curiousity, how can nails be too short? You mean if they bite them? And if someone is under 30, they get a pass with a yuk mouth? Just asking.
 
Teeth and nails. Messed up teeth especially in a man 30 or older. They've got payment plans and you can get the dental work done and miss 2 days or less of work. And if a man's nails are too long or too short, it weirds me out. There is a happy medium and nail clippers are a man's best friend. I don't mind his little pudge of a belly, I don't mind the shorter height, I don't mind the weak fashion sense, but the nails & the teeth :smh:

:lol:I feel you ... I just sort of think the whole teeth thing could have been resolved in like high school or some thing:lol:But then I remember some people aint got the funds for it or whatever ... and like I said before I try to look past it ... but it's hard ... when he leans in to kiss you and that overbite comes at you before his lips do ... DANG
 
Just out of curiousity, how can nails be too short? You mean if they bite them? And if someone is under 30, they get a pass with a yuk mouth? Just asking.

Yeah. Bitten down to nubs :puke:
No pass for a yuckmouth. By the age of 30 he should have gotten his grill taken care of. It's one of the first things people see. I take pride in my appearance and I appreciate a man who does the same on a basic level
 
:lol:I feel you ... I just sort of think the whole teeth thing could have been resolved in like high school or some thing:lol:But then I remember some people aint got the funds for it or whatever ... and like I said before I try to look past it ... but it's hard ... when he leans in to kiss you and that overbite comes at you before his lips do ... DANG

Exactly. I figure it's been 12-13 years since high school. If it wasn't important enough for him to take care of it, why should I have to deal with that? And then say I were to get with him and gently "suggest" he do something about it, I'm going to get hit with "why are you trying to change me", "you knew what it was when you signed up"
 
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