Is an Ugly Baby Harder to Love?

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Is an Ugly Baby Harder to Love?
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Moms might want to hang on to those Mother's Day cards they got last month. There may not be much more familial goodwill forthcoming — at least not after kids get wind of a new study released by Harvard-affiliated McLean Hospital and published in the online journal PloS One. Turns out that your mother's feelings for you may not be the unconditional things you always assumed. It's possible, researchers say, that the prettier you were when you were born, the more she loved you


It's never been a secret that beautiful people get more breaks than everyone else, nor that the bias may start in the nursery. An oft cited — and deeply disturbing — Israeli study once showed that 70% of abused or abandoned children had at least one apparent flaw in their appearance, which otherwise had no impact on their health or educability. McLean psychiatrist Dr. Igor Elman and postdoctoral student Rinah Yamamoto devised a study to explore that phenomenon more closely.


Elman and Yamamoto recruited 27 volunteers — 13 men and 14 women — and sat them at computer screens where they were randomly shown pictures of 50 healthy and attractive babies and 30 others with distinct facial irregularities such as a cleft palate or a skin condition. The volunteers were told that each picture would remain on the screen for four seconds but they could shorten that time by clicking one key or prolong it by clicking another. What the researchers wanted to learn, Elman explains, is how much effort people were willing to exert to look at pictures of pretty babies or avoid pictures of less pretty ones — and, importantly, what that implies.

Much of the answer, they found out, depends on the beholder's sex. The men in the study were less likely than women to click off photos of unattractive babies — viewing them for the full four seconds — but clicked quite a bit to hold on to the images of the pretty ones. Their reactions were the same whether they had children of their own or not. Women, conversely, left the keyboard alone when they were looking at pretty babies but hurried away from the less attractive ones — with the results again not seeming to be influenced by whether or not they were mothers themselves.
(See seven iPhone applications for new moms.)

"[Women] pressed the key 2.5 times as much to get rid of those pictures," Elman says. "That's highly statistically significant."

Of all the things driving that response, the most primal one may be evolution. Parents devote a lot of resources to raising a child — food, time, money, love — and those assets are usually in finite supply. All animals, humans included, are hardwired to spend wisely, devoting the most energy to the offspring most likely to yield the highest genetic payoff; healthy, beautiful offspring are the best bet of all. Perhaps women, who still must do the lion's share of childcare, are naturally more attuned to this trade-off than men are. "In general, men tend to be aesthetically oriented," Elman says, "so they'll press a lot to hold the beautiful babies on the screen. Women are more consequence-oriented."
(Read "Parenting Advice: What Moms Should Learn from Dads.)

There are some potential holes in Elman's work, all of which he acknowledges. For one thing, it's possible women avoid the unattractive faces not because they're less sensitive to them but because they're more sensitive, simply finding the hardships endured by unhealthy babies too difficult to contemplate. Such highly tuned empathy can ultimately make them better caregivers, even if a four-second exposure to the idea is painful. "Everyone will try to get away from a stimulus that feels like a punishment and hold on to one that feels like a reward," Elman says.

More important, the way people of either gender react to a picture of an anonymous child with physical abnormalities is likely to be radically different from the way they would react if that child were their own — something that is readily evident from all the disabled children on whom parents lavish love. Still, the fact that both parents and nonparents in Elman's study reacted the same way to the pictures suggests that their responses are deeply ingrained and that they may be hard to mitigate simply by having children of their own.

The gender differences, by the way, don't let fathers off the hook. Men may not have hurried to get the unattractive faces off the screen, but neither did they linger over them the way they did the attractive faces. In both cases, this suggests bias, and when the rubber hits the road of real childcare, parents of either sex may end up having similar instincts. More clarity should come when Elman conducts the next phase of his work: running the same experiment but hooking the subjects up to brain scans throughout it. This will make it far easier to see just which areas of the brain are activated when viewing the pictures and, by implication, which feelings and motivations are being evoked. Until then, both Mom and Dad — who already have enough to worry about — should probably get the benefit of the doubt.
 
It was very shallow of me but I was very afraid that we were going to have a ugly baby and kept telling everyone that. Thank goodness I was 100% wrong.


My first born Jadyn
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My second son Jelani
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thats fucked up to even ask. im sure as a mother you going to love them unconditionally...cant say much i have no kids
 
thats fucked up to even ask. im sure as a mother you going to love them unconditionally...cant say much i have no kids

Don't know about this.

There is a young girl in my daughters class that already has self esteem issues because no one calls her pretty, including her mother.

I know this because I said, "Hey cutie" one day and she smiled from ear to ear, afterwards she told me that her mother never calls her pretty then put her head down.
 
Don't know about this.

There is a young girl in my daughters class that already has self esteem issues because no one calls her pretty, including her mother.

I know this because I said, "Hey cutie" one day and she smiled from ear to ear, afterwards she told me that her mother never calls her pretty then put her head down.

:eek:

:smh:

:(


That is a damn shame. I tell mines she's pretty/cute/beautiful- the whole nine everyday cause she is. Even if she wasn't, (by conventional standards), I'd still tell her the same thing cause that's my child. What that girls' mother is/is not doing is tantamount to child neglect.
 
Don't know about this.

There is a young girl in my daughters class that already has self esteem issues because no one calls her pretty, including her mother.

I know this because I said, "Hey cutie" one day and she smiled from ear to ear, afterwards she told me that her mother never calls her pretty then put her head down.

Omg. That's beyond horrible. That poor child. People like that disgust me. And not for nothing, lets say a child is beyond ugly THEY ARE CHILDREN. You love them and nurture them, you're their parent. Wtf is wrong with people.
:smh::angry::angry::angry:
 
The crazy thing is the little girl isn't ugly at all, she is just dark and the momma is high yellow and to me she looks nothing like the mother.

If she is anything like my daughter and I then she looks just like her dad which could be part of the reason why she gets neglected by her mom.

The fact that she is dark probably gets her over looked a lot too.

Every time I've seen the little girl her hair was never freshly done and she always looked like she was just there.

Really sweet little girl with a big smile that will probably become a beautiful person.

Hopefully somebody starts paying her attention before she starts looking for it in the wrong places.
 
It's such a shame. People don't realize the gifts they have in life, that little girl could be the next superstar or politician (good one lol) and her mother is just bringing her down. God forbid that girl falls into depression when she gets older and commits suicide or something drastic.
 
Who determines what's "ugly?'

The short answer.

Me.

Omg. That's beyond horrible. That poor child. People like that disgust me. And not for nothing, lets say a child is beyond ugly THEY ARE CHILDREN. You love them and nurture them, you're their parent. Wtf is wrong with people.
:smh::angry::angry::angry:

What happens when the ugly children grow up to ugly adults?

Still game?

Just asking. :D
 
Don't know about this.

There is a young girl in my daughters class that already has self esteem issues because no one calls her pretty, including her mother.

I know this because I said, "Hey cutie" one day and she smiled from ear to ear, afterwards she told me that her mother never calls her pretty then put her head down.

:smh:that's sad, my son's cute but if he wasn't, i hope i would love him the same cause he's mines. I see this alot too, parents don't show their kids enough attention, so when i show them a lil, they will cling to me and it makes my son jealous:lol: but i always tell him he's my baby.:D
 
What happens when the ugly children grow up to ugly adults?

Still game?

Just asking. :D

Well then you just fucked and better pray someone takes pity on you. :lol:

But come on, let the kid be no matter how unattractive they are. Shit.
 
Nappy...maybe that has more to do w/ the mom instead of the actual "aesthetic features" of the lil girl.
 
Read it again............

Why?? This isn't about kids who have unfortunate physical deformities. With that there's at least a reasonable expectation that a child will be looked upon differently by some, though usually not by the parents (who usually give more love and praise to them). It's about kids that someone in society (or in the home) has determined is "ugly" based on the arrogance of personal taste (see sean69 above). That's what is most troubling.
 
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Why?? This isn't about kids who have unfortunate physical deformities. With that there's at least a reasonable expectation that a child will be looked upon differently by some, though usually not by the parents (who usually give more love and praise to them). It's about kids that someone in society (or in the home) has determined is "ugly" based on the arrogance of personal taste (see sean69 above). That's what is most troubling.

I would like to point out that "kids who have unfortunate physical deformities". Are in fact a biological indicator of genetic health, hence "attractiveness" is oldest form of evolutionary mate selection for societies.

The parents who are members of society will share similar views of what is attractive, and what is not.
 
"Pretty girls will have you singing the blues, but if an ugly girl leaves you she ain't nothing to lose."
 
Don't know about this.

There is a young girl in my daughters class that already has self esteem issues because no one calls her pretty, including her mother.

I know this because I said, "Hey cutie" one day and she smiled from ear to ear, afterwards she told me that her mother never calls her pretty then put her head down.

that's a shame. not suprising but shameful. i've seen a lot of women neglect/mistreat their kids based on how they looked. i don't think they realize (or care in some instances) the damage they do to their kids by acting like this :smh:
 
that's a shame. not suprising but shameful. i've seen a lot of women neglect/mistreat their kids based on how they looked. i don't think they realize (or care in some instances) the damage they do to their kids by acting like this :smh:

Case in point, Michael Jackson.
 
My son is gorgeous:D but even if he wasn't I would still love him the same

I'm one of those people that thinks ALL babies are cute:yes: and I will fight tooth and nail anyone that says a child is not:hmm: we need to work on their self esteem people please do not go against the cause:hmm::hmm:
 
All a baby has to do is be too dark as a baby and he will get shitted on by many people internally or externally as he/she is passed around the family for oohs and aahhs.


Naw that's what the dark skinned family does lovingly to the light skinned brick headed baby that thug boy and creole girl unceremoniously created.
 
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