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If The Shoe Was On The Other Foot Would U....???

UnoBetter2

UnoBetter2

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Ok ladies I know you've heard all the bullshit from brotha's who say they've done right by their lady. But, hell I done bent over backwards for my wife for over 20 years and still she tryin to talk shit. Nails done, hair done, rings on every fucking finger, except the thumbs (one finger alone worth $4K), and just this week a new car, Shit she got the whole nine yards and then some. I told her tonight that if the shoe was on the other foot she would'nt be with my azz. Hell I'm clockin 6 figures every year and she doing good to bring home $25K. To be honest I love her azz and would turn the world upside down for her but if it was the other way around she would'nt be with me. Like yall always say "I can do bad by myself"! Problem is I fucked around and said what I was thinkin, but let's be honest if she was bringin home the bank and I was spending it like she was most Sista's just wouldnt have it, or am I wrong? And to be honest the sex aint never been all that but her personality is on point and she fuckin knows football better than I do!! But ladies if the truth be told could you put up with a brotha that was really not pulling his weight but you just like having his azz around? All she do is cook and that's it! Our kids are teenagers and they pick up alot of slack. Otherwise, when I say that's it, thats fucking it! No cleaning, No washing cloths, No washing dishes, No cutting grass, No vacuuming, No cleaning bathrooms, No Nothing, thats FUCKIN it! And she try to get out of that every chance she get, at least 4 nights a week, yep, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and one day during the week! Now she's going to school and I'm sure that's another day a week her azz wont be cookin shit. Now tell me would any of the Sista's of BGOL be puttin up with that shit if it was the other way around? Help a brotha calm down before he catch a case cause I'm pissed!!!!:angry:
 
Cancel that bitch's contract.

newjack_l.jpg
 
If it was me. . I would leave.

But I also think that people that are married shouldn't seek advice from single people.

I would say if it's worth it to you try counseling, if that doesn't work then leave.

At least you can say you tried to work it out :dunno:
 
Chicutie said:
If it was me. . I would leave.

But I also think that people that are married shouldn't seek advice from single people.

I would say if it's worth it to you try counseling, if that doesn't work then leave.

At least you can say you tried to work it out :dunno:
Click to expand...


I would have to agree with you here Chi...
20years is a long time to just up and leave. Combined with the fact that you say that you still have love for her. You have to do what is best for you. And like Chi says if an attempt at counselling doesn't work then perhaps it simply isn't meant to last. She seems to have her priorities skewed.

Don't stay just because its been over 20years. Yes love is a part of the relationship but it has to be mutual love and respect.
I wish you all the best.







Peace
 
simping is like a cancer, the longer you do it to one woman it festers into an irrevocable cancer. cutting off the limb is the only way to kill the cancer you created. i'm sorry to inform you of this.


you cannot erase 20 yrs of simping on a bitch. she is banking on the very thing the women in here just said, "you won't leave because of all the time you invested".


you need to swipe the rug right from under her broke ass feet nigga.


hide the money in some offshore accounts or in some relatives names first.
 
Well It Is Man's Duty To Take Care Of His Wife And Family. So I Wanna Say You Are A Great Man. If You Wanna Know Something You Have Spoiled Her. Yes You Have. Just Let Her Know How You Feel-- Unappreciated--and Remind Her Of The Good Times You Guys Have Had.

Also Let Her Know Some Of Your Own Wishes And That You Too Would Like To Be Spoiled As Well. I Don't Make As Much Money As My Bf However I Make Sure I Do Show My Appreciation Of Him. I Make Sure That He Has A Pedicure And Manicure, A Nice Bubble Bath With Candles And Wine. All The Time I Don't Feel Like Cooking And Without Complaining He Cooks Some Of The Time. He Washes His Own Clothes Because He Is Very Particular About His Clothes And We Are Both Fine With That. Do You Sometimes Cook? Just Because You Make The Most Money Doesn't Mean That You Can Abandon Your Post. Money Doesn't Buy Love So Think About Ways That You Can Express How You Feel About The Relationship. Good Luck!!!

I Know Your Wife Knows What A Good Man She Has And Would Offer Alternatives. Don't Argue...wait Until You Guys Are In The Bed With The Lights Out To Discuss It. Trust Me It Works!
 
How the fuck can you people even read that shit.

All I see is a brick wall.

Seriously. Ya'll wear glasses?

BrownBrickWall_tileable.jpg
 
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UnoBetter2 said:
Ok ladies I know you've heard all the bullshit from brotha's who say they've done right by their lady. But, hell I done bent over backwards for my wife for over 20 years and still she tryin to talk shit. Nails done, hair done, rings on every fucking finger, except the thumbs (one finger alone worth $4K), and just this week a new car, Shit she got the whole nine yards and then some. I told her tonight that if the shoe was on the other foot she would'nt be with my azz.

Hell I'm clockin 6 figures every year and she doing good to bring home $25K. To be honest I love her azz and would turn the world upside down for her but if it was the other way around she would'nt be with me. Like yall always say "I can do bad by myself"! Problem is I fucked around and said what I was thinkin, but let's be honest if she was bringin home the bank and I was spending it like she was most Sista's just wouldnt have it, or am I wrong? And to be honest the sex aint never been all that but her personality is on point and she fuckin knows football better than I do!!

But ladies if the truth be told could you put up with a brotha that was really not pulling his weight but you just like having his azz around? All she do is cook and that's it! Our kids are teenagers and they pick up alot of slack. Otherwise, when I say that's it, thats fucking it! No cleaning, No washing cloths, No washing dishes, No cutting grass, No vacuuming, No cleaning bathrooms, No Nothing, thats FUCKIN it! And she try to get out of that every chance she get, at least 4 nights a week, yep, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and one day during the week!

Now she's going to school and I'm sure that's another day a week her azz wont be cookin shit. Now tell me would any of the Sista's of BGOL be puttin up with that shit if it was the other way around? Help a brotha calm down before he catch a case cause I'm pissed!!!!:angry:
Click to expand...

why are you still with her? surely she must have some good qualities to leverage it all out....:confused:
 
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I am a firm believer if you're not happy then you need to do the right things to rectify it. But when you're married these decisions cannot be made lightly...

To answer the questions... it depends on what the other person was bringing in terms of support, emotionally, spiritually, or whatever. There has to be something that has kept me there for this long that attracted me. If that begins to lack, then it'd be a huge huge huge problem...

But in all honesty.. in you're situation, it would probably be cheaper to keep her.. If you proceed with divorce hearings and she has a decent lawyer you are going to be paying a lot of money in alimony simply on the basis that she was accustomed to living a certain lifestyle (due to YOUR high income) and she has a right to maintain that... Not cool at all...

You definitely need to have a heart to heart with her. I'm sure you're not really that bothered by the income gap because if you were you wouldn't have married her. And you sound like you probably support her school goals, whatever they are... But you want her to still maintain those initial things that attracted you to her before... counseling might be the way to go...
 
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I don't understand why you can not simply assert yourself to achieve what you want from your marriage. :dunno: Especially if your doing all this, and such, and you basically describing her like she ain't shit but a rat in a sack.

So I know your downplaying a whole lot she prob. does because you were strong on what she doesn't, but that's another matter.

An as usual I don't think any of the ladies actually answered your original question.

But oh well. I'm out.

Good luck.

[flash]http://www.youtube.com/v/XYRpX0OVnPI&hl=en&fs=1[/flash]
 
hire a private eye......she has it too much going on....

kinda reminds me of the Orange Juice Jones video
 
Sorry to hear that Brother. I rarely answer post like this but I had to add my .02

4 Nights a week? That is the 1st indication that your wife is or has creeped before. I dont think you have to be a scientist to figure that one out.

Even if she is not no way with all you say you are bringing to the table that you have to resort to an online community for answers to a question you already know.

I would say bring up Counseling and if there is any hesitation.... hhmmmm well you know the rest. Im actually a Counselor by profession but really dont subscribe to it many times since married people should be able to talk to each other. (All people in a relationship)

Peace and hope all works out for the best.
 
UnoBetter2 said:
Ok ladies I know you've heard all the bullshit from brotha's who say they've done right by their lady. But, hell I done bent over backwards for my wife for over 20 years and still she tryin to talk shit. Nails done, hair done, rings on every fucking finger, except the thumbs (one finger alone worth $4K), and just this week a new car, Shit she got the whole nine yards and then some. I told her tonight that if the shoe was on the other foot she would'nt be with my azz. Hell I'm clockin 6 figures every year and she doing good to bring home $25K. To be honest I love her azz and would turn the world upside down for her but if it was the other way around she would'nt be with me. Like yall always say "I can do bad by myself"! Problem is I fucked around and said what I was thinkin, but let's be honest if she was bringin home the bank and I was spending it like she was most Sista's just wouldnt have it, or am I wrong? And to be honest the sex aint never been all that but her personality is on point and she fuckin knows football better than I do!! But ladies if the truth be told could you put up with a brotha that was really not pulling his weight but you just like having his azz around? All she do is cook and that's it! Our kids are teenagers and they pick up alot of slack. Otherwise, when I say that's it, thats fucking it! No cleaning, No washing cloths, No washing dishes, No cutting grass, No vacuuming, No cleaning bathrooms, No Nothing, thats FUCKIN it! And she try to get out of that every chance she get, at least 4 nights a week, yep, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and one day during the week! Now she's going to school and I'm sure that's another day a week her azz wont be cookin shit. Now tell me would any of the Sista's of BGOL be puttin up with that shit if it was the other way around? Help a brotha calm down before he catch a case cause I'm pissed!!!!:angry:
Click to expand...

It's a hard question to answer, because it's 20+ years of marriage we're talking about here...was she always this way, or is it just lately, in your marriage, you're noticing her "not picking up her weight" around the house, etc.? I guess I'd just like to, personally, know whether or not she was always this way, or is this a recent development. If a man I was "courting" wasn't making as much money as me, but still putting in work and working towards a goal, in school, etc. I wouldn't fault him. HOWEVER, if he's just trying to live off of my money, of course we've got a problem. No one wants to be with an ambition-less partner. BUT, if you would like to sustain your marriage, how about you SERIOUSLY talk to her, let her know your feelings thoroughly, and how you feel it affects the family...my two...
 
shanebp1978 said:
I don't understand why you can not simply assert yourself to achieve what you want from your marriage. :dunno: Especially if your doing all this, and such, and you basically describing her like she ain't shit but a rat in a sack.

So I know your downplaying a whole lot she prob. does because you were strong on what she doesn't, but that's another matter.

An as usual I don't think any of the ladies actually answered your original question.

But oh well. I'm out.

Good luck.

[flash]http://www.youtube.com/v/XYRpX0OVnPI&hl=en&fs=1[/flash]
Click to expand...

TO ANSWER HIS QUESTION HELL NO I WOULDN'T PUT UP WITH THAT SHIT...GOING OUT WHEN HE WANTS TO GO OUT, SPENDING ALL MY MONEY..
AND NOT MAKING SURE EVERYTHING AT HOME WAS SATISFIED. I'D HAVE TO PUT HIS ASS OUT!
 
Hell, you know you like it. Twenty years and you still there?! There must be something good going on in your marriage. One thing is fo so: You ain't never gonna change her (and she's never gonna change you,either). Something in her personality and character attracts you and vice versa. Believe me; it could be a lot worse.
 
JofromthaNO said:
It's a hard question to answer, because it's 20+ years of marriage we're talking about here...was she always this way, or is it just lately, in your marriage, you're noticing her "not picking up her weight" around the house, etc.? I guess I'd just like to, personally, know whether or not she was always this way, or is this a recent development. If a man I was "courting" wasn't making as much money as me, but still putting in work and working towards a goal, in school, etc. I wouldn't fault him. HOWEVER, if he's just trying to live off of my money, of course we've got a problem. No one wants to be with an ambition-less partner. BUT, if you would like to sustain your marriage, how about you SERIOUSLY talk to her, let her know your feelings thoroughly, and how you feel it affects the family...my two...
Click to expand...
funny how women always on that talk it out shit but if a man was fuckin up to this magnitude they would be like :itsawrap:
 
shanebp1978 said:
I don't understand why you can not simply assert yourself to achieve what you want from your marriage. :dunno: Especially if your doing all this, and such, and you basically describing her like she ain't shit but a rat in a sack.

So I know your downplaying a whole lot she prob. does because you were strong on what she doesn't, but that's another matter.

An as usual I don't think any of the ladies actually answered your original question.

But oh well. I'm out.

Good luck.

[flash]http://www.youtube.com/v/XYRpX0OVnPI&hl=en&fs=1[/flash]
Click to expand...

I'll answer the question - no I would not put up with the situation of the poster. With 20 years invested I would try my hardest to make it work! But I can't be in a relationship where I'm not happy.

I agree that a man should take care of his family but the woman should also play her role as well. If she's a stay at home (with no other major responsibilities) there is no reason why imo she can't cook, clean and run the house while the man works - even with kids this is possible if she doesn't work. And even if she works the house should still run smoothly with the help of the husband.

I may be old fashioned or whatever but I feel it's important to take care of home first. Going out with family/friends should be the last thing on her mind if she's having problems at home.

And like shanebp1978 said it's time for your to assert yourself or you going to keep crying about this situation and nothing is going to change. If she's serious about making this marriage works and respects your feelings she'll do what she has to do as your wife. But if not then shit! - that should tell you her feelings about the marriage..
 
if u been with her this long, just stick it out man..

we'll all be dead soon..... might as well be happy until then..
 
Reading your post I get the feeling your problem has nothing to do with money. You make over 6 figures and she brings in over 25k. So your household is bringing in a lot of money.

The problem you have is that you approached your wife the wrong way. I hate to be against you brotha but you chose to treat your wife like a queen and provide her with all her heart desires and a certain life style and there is nothing wrong with that. You have done this for years. Now telling her that it has been a problem for you was a bad move. Because women are more emotional then men she is now reflecting on how you felt the entire relationship and marriage. What she heard is that you felt she was using you for the entire marriage and relationship. In so many words you called your wife a gold digger only with you for your money.

I can promise you that you and her kids mean more to your wife then any check you bring home. Simply sounds like you have other problems then just money and her spending.
 

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