I don't expect to get much response from the men on this...

[femmenoire]

...but clearly men and women see things differently especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

But I still want to know, what do you guys think "love" means?

Do you think there is a difference between loving someone and being "in love"?

What behaviors do you think 2 people who are in love should exhibit, if any?

And does love force you to have expectations and obligations.

Do you even believe in love?

 

[bigirl]

Do you even believe in love?

no.

 

[cocobeauty]

no.

I have to agree with you on this one.

 

[cocobeauty]

...but clearly men and women see things differently especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

But I still want to know, what do you guys think "love" means?

Do you think there is a difference between loving someone and being "in love"?

What behaviors do you think 2 people who are in love should exhibit, if any?

And does love force you to have expectations and obligations.

Do you even believe in love?

Girl, these are seriously some GREAT questions, and I am very interested to see how they will respond.

 

[MTL]

4 women posted...no men!

 

[thismybgolname]

...but clearly men and women see things differently especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

Women seem to allow their hearts to cloud their judgement in the name of love.

But I still want to know, what do you guys think "love" means?

That I would die for someone without even thinking about it.

Do you think there is a difference between loving someone and being "in love"?

Yea there is a huge difference.

One I would die for the other I would just take a bullet in the leg for.

What behaviors do you think 2 people who are in love should exhibit, if any?

Understanding, being able to forgive and settling for less.

And does love force you to have expectations and obligations.


Do you even believe in love?

Yes & Yes.

The thing that I'm dealing with is trying to grow to love since I never really fell in love.

 

[sakinnuso]

I'll bite. Yes, there's a big difference. I think loving someone refers to the amount of empathy you feel for them. Being IN love with someone refers to how much you're willing to sacrifice for that person.

That's really what love is, in my opinion: Your willingness of selflessness for another person. Even TRUST, i.e., the willingness to let your guards down and allow another person to see into the 'real' you requires a certain amount of you being less selfish and allowing someone the inconvenience of entering your space. It's uncomfortable, it's difficult, it's time consuming - and most people don't have time for it and settle for emotionless lust, comfort with the familiar, or some approximation in-between.


I've been in love before, so I'm lucky. It's unmistakable. Hope that helped.

 

[femmenoire]

Women seem to allow their hearts to cloud their judgement in the name of love.


That I would die for someone without even thinking about it.


Yea there is a huge difference.

One I would die for the other I would just take a bullet in the leg for.


Understanding, being able to forgive and settling for less.



Yes & Yes.

The thing that I'm dealing with is trying to grow to love since I never really fell in love.

I'll bite. Yes, there's a big difference. I think loving someone refers to the amount of empathy you feel for them. Being IN love with someone refers to how much you're willing to sacrifice for that person.

That's really what love is, in my opinion: Your willingness of selflessness for another person. Even TRUST, i.e., the willingness to let your guards down and allow another person to see into the 'real' you requires a certain amount of you being less selfish and allowing someone the inconvenience of entering your space. It's uncomfortable, it's difficult, it's time consuming - and most people don't have time for it and settle for emotionless lust, comfort with the familiar, or some approximation in-between.


I've been in love before, so I'm lucky. It's unmistakable. Hope that helped.

Thanks nappy and sak. I knew I could count on you guys.

 

[Kazoo]

you should have higher expectations of us MENFOLK girl



Love means you can stay after Sex

 

[p5ych3]

There is difference both in how men and women view love and also the individual person.

I think the only people I truly love are my daughters, their mom, my mom, brother and
myself.

I have fallen in love with other females, (i believe), by the lengths I went to make them
happy, feel secure, wanted, etc, etc.

In turn the expectations weren't there. Whether it was them taking me for granted,
being oblivious or just not what i expected over time.

I hear folks say love is unconditional. I'm trying to come to terms with that. In some
ways I see it, but at other times I refuse to accept changes to the things I fell in
love with.

 

[cameo]

...but clearly men and women see things differently especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

But I still want to know, what do you guys think "love" means?

Do you think there is a difference between loving someone and being "in love"?

What behaviors do you think 2 people who are in love should exhibit, if any?

And does love force you to have expectations and obligations.

Do you even believe in love?

I'ma come real on this one. Black men, brothers, love means respect, communication, consideration, and commitment. Being in love means you don't mind none of the above, now I never said be a pussy-ass man, because some will come back at me and say, "so you saying bow down" , NO ! Real love is unplanned, unexpected behavior. Real love has nothing to do with fucking, it's just that special. Love shouldn't force anything Femme. The two people involved should be in tune with each other. Love is the strange subject, that honestly..............nobody has the answers to your questions, because your answers are whatever, whenever you are gonna feel love. I believe in love, I do, and coming from a man, going into 2008, I wish I had a wife, that special woman.

 

[p5ych3]

The thing that I'm dealing with is trying to grow to love since I never really fell in love.

I rather grow than fall. Hurt isn't on my list of nice things.

 

[Built4Life]

Love is hard work. Good love is hard fucking work.

Here is an example. I love my wife. Recently we got into a serious argument. After some reflection, I realized that I was the one who was being selfish even though I thought she was being selfish. I apologized without hesitation because I am willing to do what it takes to have a nurturing and fulfilling relationship with her. The fact is that we are both cognizant enough to realize that we both must be introspective enough to realize that it is not about the individual, but it is about the relationship.

Now, I have had relationships where my feels were more intense than they are for my wife, and during that time in my life I considered that to be love, but it was really just a projection. That is why I separate passion from love. You can have passion in a loving relationship, but because you have passion that does not mean there is love.

So, I equate love to being when all people involved are willing to do the necessary work in order for the relationship to work.

 

[Duece]

Love is an extension of superficial emotions and personal preferences. Love only exists for some who are foolish enough to trust it and believe and those who they‘ve been lucky enough to experience it. Love is a small immature emotion that is dictated by the fad of the day. If people would learn this we could live in a more peaceful world, but people don't learn this, they chase a shooting star that they'll never reach, sit by a phone waiting for a ring that will never come, cry themselves to sleep, and go through life like zombie until they've descended into a reprobated mind and began to act illogically and eventually bizarre and violent.

 

[ladyscorpio]

Women seem to allow their hearts to cloud their judgement in the name of love.


That I would die for someone without even thinking about it.


Yea there is a huge difference.

One I would die for the other I would just take a bullet in the leg for.


Understanding, being able to forgive and settling for less.



Yes & Yes.

The thing that I'm dealing with is trying to grow to love since I never really fell in love.

Respect Nappy on those replies

I'll bite. Yes, there's a big difference. I think loving someone refers to the amount of empathy you feel for them. Being IN love with someone refers to how much you're willing to sacrifice for that person.

That's really what love is, in my opinion: Your willingness of selflessness for another person. Even TRUST, i.e., the willingness to let your guards down and allow another person to see into the 'real' you requires a certain amount of you being less selfish and allowing someone the inconvenience of entering your space. It's uncomfortable, it's difficult, it's time consuming - and most people don't have time for it and settle for emotionless lust, comfort with the familiar, or some approximation in-between.


I've been in love before, so I'm lucky. It's unmistakable. Hope that helped.

sak i know that we scorps dont do it for you but mad props bredren on these answers.


Its a pleasure to see men put this stuff into words


And p5ych3....I love that response to nappy. Its very true what you say....to fall seems to have that negative connotation but to grow in love...yeah respect that.
Society norm however, deems it a not so bad thing to fall. But I feel you on that one

 

[bigirl]

Love is an extension of superficial emotions and personally preferences. Love only exists for some who are foolish enough to trust it and believe and those who they‘ve been lucky enough to experience it. Love is a small immature emotion that is dictated by the fad of the day. If people would learn this we could live in a more peaceful world, but people don't learn this, they chase a shooting star that they'll never reach, sit by a phone waiting for a ring that will never come, cry themselves to sleep, and go through life like zombie until they've descended into a reprobated mind and began to act illogically and eventually bizarre and violent.

and i thought i was depressed.....

its like a business transaction. 2 people are both using each other for something. when someone runs out of whatever thing it is......well you know the rest.

 

[cocobeauty]

Love is an extension of superficial emotions and personal preferences. Love only exists for some who are foolish enough to trust it and believe and those who they‘ve been lucky enough to experience it. Love is a small immature emotion that is dictated by the fad of the day. If people would learn this we could live in a more peaceful world, but people don't learn this, they chase a shooting star that they'll never reach, sit by a phone waiting for a ring that will never come, cry themselves to sleep, and go through life like zombie until they've descended into a reprobated mind and began to act illogically and eventually bizarre and violent.

Dang Duece

 

[modagr8]

...but clearly men and women see things differently especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

But I still want to know, what do you guys think "love" means?

Do you think there is a difference between loving someone and being "in love"?

What behaviors do you think 2 people who are in love should exhibit, if any?

And does love force you to have expectations and obligations.

Do you even believe in love?

1. Love is being off ur square over a person...

2. Yes there is a difference in love and being in love...

3. Too peeps in love show at eachother's dumb jokes...Adores being together even if its for a few minutes...just a couple of examples

4. I dont feel love forces you to have expectations and obligations, but they will develop over time

5. Yes I do believe in love and all it different levels

 

[fourth_retired]

Love is when you will do something for that person you will never do for anyone else.

 

[lilsexii]

I rather grow than fall. Hurt isn't on my list of nice things.

My dad always said "Never fall in love. When you fall, you get hurt...so walk into it with your eyes wide open."

 

[femmenoire]

Love is when you will do something for that person you will never do for anyone else.

when i want to protect you, thats love.


because i usually dont give two FUCKS about most people. i'm a rider. im loyal to a fault.... hurts me in the end.

I am with you guys on that.

I have to admit I am impressed, and even more, surprised by most of your answers.

 

[Mo-Better]

what do you guys think "love" means?
Love is a strong affection one has for another person. When your in love you are totally committed to the other person. You are comitted to this other person's heart. No one else exist. Love is unconditional.

Like the song. "What Love Has Joined Together" Can't nobody take it apart...

Do you think there is a difference between loving someone and being "in love"?
Absolutely! You can love someone and not be in love with them. They are two entirely different things.

What behaviors do you think 2 people who are in love should exhibit, if any?
I don't believe there is a set behavior pattern. Everyone is different as is every couple. If a couple is truly in love it will show.

And does love force you to have expectations and obligations.
When people are in love expectations and obligations are not forced on either person they're mutually shared. When people are in love expectations and obligations become goals.

Do you even believe in love?
Yeah I do believe in love.

 

[bgque12]

Love is not a place so you can't be "in love" there is only love. IMO love is submission of ones will to another, where you are not just living for yourself but, for someone else. Love is the smile you get when you pick up the phone and hear that persons voice and it puts a smile on your face. Love is sharing those little intimate moments like they are an inside joke. love is when you are the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing on my mind at night. It's the intimacy of making love not just the physical, more importantly, the emotionally. It's the understanding that you can be intimate with your mate without having sex but the intimacy you share makes the love making much better. The most intimate moment I ever shared was a night of watching a video and eating popcorn and a great conversation with an ex-girlfriend in a villa in Jamaica.

 

[KINGFROMQUEENS]

i still believe in love. i just dont think most people , esp black people ever find true love. i have not given up though.

 

[q_the_truth]

love can't be explained you just know it when you have it for someone. thats the problem most women have a pre conceived concept of love. and most men don't.

there is a difference to me about being in love and loving

in love usually leads to mis judgements, tolerating bad behavior, and stupidity by one or both persons.(one can be in love with someone who is not in love or love you).

loving some leads to more understanding, checking your behavior and really trying to make sure the other knows what they mean to and for you

 

[tmp1971]

There is a big differnce in being in love and loving someone.

Being love in the best of the two options because your heart is really into it and the emotions are as well. You can feel the connection and the sparks when you simply think about your love for that person.

Loving someone to me is almost like a special friendship. You have a connection but it it ain't the same as being in love. You deeply care for them and are generally concerned about their well being but you can move on without them with less hurt and pain.

 

[SWATLANTA]

I don't believe in love...

 

[UnoBetter2]

...but clearly men and women see things differently especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

But I still want to know, what do you guys think "love" means?

Do you think there is a difference between loving someone and being "in love"?

What behaviors do you think 2 people who are in love should exhibit, if any?

And does love force you to have expectations and obligations.

Do you even believe in love?

ok, I'm gonna have to think about this one. Gonna be one of those Colin Powel responses.

 

[deezchocnuts4ru]

Yo. Ok, I'm going to break this down in the "real" sense of what love is. When you consider love, you have to evaluate it in light of those people we "know" have exhibited love for others. Ghandi, MLK, Jesus etc. It is clear that love has little to do with personal satisfaction and all to do with willingness to sacrifice for the "uplifting" of someone else. What most of us consider love is simply an emotion of "satisfaction" and "good feelings." true love is by far the most powerful thing a human has. Of course, demonstrating true love can, but doesn't always, make you feel good. Peace.

 

[Iron]

Enter the powerpuff Girls.

[FLASH]http://youtube.com/v/6zQgKk3g7Uo&feature=related[/FLASH]

 

[voiceofthestreet]

you gotta beleive in love femme .... somtimes men just don't know how to "show" i know in my case i gave her my all and i did not "show" her no love i was like damn i do everything i can for you and im always here so how else cani show you love but that dos;t mean i did not lover her i just do't know how show .

 

[AristotlesOwn]

Haven't answered because I don't know HOW to answer those questions. Although being in love and loving someone are indeed to different things.

Do I believe in it? Not anymore.

 

[thoughtone]

Love is a man telling a women everything she wants to hear and the women telling the man everything she wants him to hear.

 

[aaron]

As yall can see i clearly dont post, I just make a quiet entrance and exit. I come to get a good laugh and read up on things, but this post made me think about my current situation.

Been with my lady 3.5 years, i came in to it totally shut and she made it almost impossible not to love her. After a while things changed, she closed i opened but it wasnt even. I always felt like she had this look on her face but never said what was on her mind. She claimed it to be nothing.
Later closer to now she was pressing about wanting to have a baby and she didnt want to wait till she was over 30 all that. We talked about it planned it and did it. When she had my son 4 months ago, I proposed to her and everything was supposedly fine.

Now its like she never wants to babysit, im at his appts he has, she doesnt get up in the middle of the night, she just leaves out and doesnt say shit. She has daughter and i have a daughter from previous relationships. My daughters mother was obviously jealous of the new baby and decided to hit me for support.
Long story short my woman now is throwing tantrums cause its like i took a pay cut to pay support. Thats all she bitches about is my money, now i ask to help with this and that she doesnt want to. I know i kinda jumped around from here to there but this cant be love...........Am i right........Yes she did say the oh i dont think this is going to work speech.

 

[Shadow]

You fucked up having a kid with this woman.