Dear Amy: I am a happily married 27-year-old woman about to have my first baby, and I am terrified because it isn't my husband's baby.
Last spring, another woman and I took a trip to the Bahamas. At the hotel I had a massage and was seduced by the masseur. I tried to resist, but I guess I got carried away. I sort of cooperated once things got started.
After some prenatal tests, my doctor recently told me that the baby's blood type is different from both my husband's and mine, which means the baby is not his. When the baby is born, it will be very obvious: My husband and I are white, and the masseur is black.
I can't tell my husband; I think that he would leave me. It's too late for an abortion. What can I do? Please advise me.
— Pregnant and Scared
Dear Scared: I appreciate the fact that you are assuming some responsibility for participating in this sexual encounter, which from the way you describe it sounds less like seduction than coercion (and possibly assault) to me. Or is this how you are justifying your own choices? Only you can know.
This hotel employee should not be seducing, coercing or having sex with hotel guests during massage sessions. (Giving a consenting adult a cell number and hooking up off the premises is another matter.) If he coerced or forced you to have sex with him, then you should have gone to hotel management and the police immediately in order to prevent him from preying on other hotel guests.
In addition to other very tough decisions that you need to make fairly quickly, you also should be immediately tested for STDs.
You have to tell your husband about this. You simply have no choice. However, it would be helpful for you to rehearse this conversation with a trusted friend or professional counselor. You and your husband should discuss this in a neutral environment. Planned Parenthood offers pregnancy and adoption counseling. Counselors working for this agency have seen it all, and you will not be judged. Your local Planned Parenthood office will refer you to a social worker and will be by your side while you and your husband walk this very difficult path.
Check your local listings or www.plannedparenthood.org for a clinic near you.
— January 2007
Source: http://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/askamy/ct-ask-amy-ae-0514-20160514-column.html
Last spring, another woman and I took a trip to the Bahamas. At the hotel I had a massage and was seduced by the masseur. I tried to resist, but I guess I got carried away. I sort of cooperated once things got started.
After some prenatal tests, my doctor recently told me that the baby's blood type is different from both my husband's and mine, which means the baby is not his. When the baby is born, it will be very obvious: My husband and I are white, and the masseur is black.
I can't tell my husband; I think that he would leave me. It's too late for an abortion. What can I do? Please advise me.
— Pregnant and Scared
Dear Scared: I appreciate the fact that you are assuming some responsibility for participating in this sexual encounter, which from the way you describe it sounds less like seduction than coercion (and possibly assault) to me. Or is this how you are justifying your own choices? Only you can know.
This hotel employee should not be seducing, coercing or having sex with hotel guests during massage sessions. (Giving a consenting adult a cell number and hooking up off the premises is another matter.) If he coerced or forced you to have sex with him, then you should have gone to hotel management and the police immediately in order to prevent him from preying on other hotel guests.
In addition to other very tough decisions that you need to make fairly quickly, you also should be immediately tested for STDs.
You have to tell your husband about this. You simply have no choice. However, it would be helpful for you to rehearse this conversation with a trusted friend or professional counselor. You and your husband should discuss this in a neutral environment. Planned Parenthood offers pregnancy and adoption counseling. Counselors working for this agency have seen it all, and you will not be judged. Your local Planned Parenthood office will refer you to a social worker and will be by your side while you and your husband walk this very difficult path.
Check your local listings or www.plannedparenthood.org for a clinic near you.
— January 2007
Source: http://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/askamy/ct-ask-amy-ae-0514-20160514-column.html
