Confirmed Bachelor Or Scared Little Boy? Which Are You?

[dHustla]

resurrected

 

[dHustla]

They ain't got nothin else to say, huh?

...

 

[DragonXJC]

Good thread.

You know what, though? I'm a little of both, a scared confirmed bachelor. Read on...

"...fear...the conventional roles that men play in the family; the husband, provider, father, protector role..."

This is so true for me, but for so many different reasons. I don't fear a family, that's what I eventually want, but I do fear being a husband to a woman that is not a lady and not finding out until I'm over 35, have given this bitch the best years of my life (yeah, I know, too many romantic comedies), and have given her my all in order to be the best husband I can. I fear being a provider to a 'person' that possesses the power to undermine everything that I stand for and that I have built for my family and myself. I fear fathering a child or children with a woman that may very well be a wonderful bitch, but an awful mother, and a vindictive lover.
I stand to lose more than I stand to gain.

You hit it on the money with this statement and there are so many examples of this. A man should be absolutely sure before he makes the biggest mistake of his life.

 

[KW13537]

I too have to cosign your post 100%

I saw another cat mention something about being independent. and women say that shit all the time like you deserve a cookie or some shit.

my feeling is that its a fucking cop out. we as men are designed to protect, provide, and conquer. the same women are designed by nature to nurture, love, and support.

Ill go through all of it for "dumb ass moments" but they are easy enough to understand. but before i begin I want to say I'm just getting over the 35 mark and I am Single and a happy bachelor. and yes I have a career, and yes I make a descent living. It has to be said because some people are superficial like that.

Ive witnessed break ups and custody nightmares my homeboys and female friends have and are going through. people (men and women) tend to complicate things with a relationship that nature dealt with for us a long time ago.

yes it is that simple.

protector
as men we are designed by nature to protect our loved ones AKA Family (wife and children). there's no such thing as being independent. we are the stronger of the two sexes physically and the more assertive. we are designed to lead but it doesn't mean control. It is an insurance policy. granted some of us are defective as men but it is what it is.

Provider
Disclaimer- this is not to say women cant earn their own wages or are not as smart as men.
As men we need to provide resources and opportunity for growth in a relationship, financially, physically, and intellectually. bottom line make things better and OK if they're bad.

Conqueror
We all no most men lack emotional skills, but that doesn't mean we are defective. we are decision makers. I'll say it again WE ARE DECISION MAKERS!! meaning we are best at detaching from making emotional decisions and embracing logical ones. this is why the stereotype " women can't decide" comes from or "women aren't better drivers then men". we can make quicker and more sound decisions, and when we are dealt with a situation, it looks as if it doesn't affect us as much as it does the opposite sex. emotional detachment allows for a better decision.

and for the ladies.......

Nurturer
Ladies I need you to stop defending the mother status as if we are only saying you need to be "barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen baking a fucking pie". we need to hear we are wonderful the same way you do. we love the kisses and hugs when we come home, and we listen to the stories and crisis you bring to the table and yes we do care, but that's your fucking job! that is your forefront. that is the moment we take a back seat to the relationship. when its caring time you are in charge. bottom line, when emotions are involved we let you handle it. a man cannot teach child love better than a women can. and FYI the nine month of carrying extends to us also.

Lover
to i really need to touch base on that. you guys are far better at expressing love then we are. That is where most of our energy comes from. we cant do the things men can without it. its our motivation, our fuel, and our reason.

Supporter
which brings me to support. a Great king always has a great Queen beside him. not front, not behind, but beside. get the fucking picture. Support your fucking man. as you can see this is my biggest pet peeve about a woman lol. if you want him to show you that you are his reason for existence, act like it. you'll be surprised by the outcome.

If both parties play their role it can be that simple.

as for my gay BGOL folks you a hybrid. this does not apply to some extent. do your thing but God AKA nature did not intent to evolve that way. Reproduction opportunities are not there.

my bad on the long response. i get pissed when I see complications when its not needed.

I'm okay, I'm good now. had to vent lol

This is the most important post in this whole thread. People wonder why they have so many problems with relationships. Nature has instilled within men and women certain abilities and roles which play to those abilities. We are all potentially two halves of a whole and we have forgotten that. Now men and women have gotten selfish and have forgotten to work together. In the threads that I have read, Its always about us complaining about what the other sex should be. ME, ME, ME! That's the point of most people's comments. How about being what you should be? Communication and compromise on BOTH sides will bring you success in relationships. Most people aren't willing to put that level of work into relationships because we've become disposable to one another. All of your actions should be in the best interests of the relationship and/or family.

 

[dHustla]

This is the most important post in this whole thread. People wonder why they have so many problems with relationships. Nature has instilled within men and women certain abilities and roles which play to those abilities. We are all potentially two halves of a whole and we have forgotten that. Now men and women have gotten selfish and have forgotten to work together. In the threads that I have read, Its always about us complaining about what the other sex should be. ME, ME, ME! That's the point of most people's comments. How about being what you should be? Communication and compromise on BOTH sides will bring you success in relationships. Most people aren't willing to put that level of work into relationships because we've become disposable to one another. All of your actions should be in the best interests of the relationship and/or family.

 

[Uncontainable_Spirit]

bot

 

[Jim_Browski]

This article takes on a demographic in the male population...and it shows why many men are choosing to go the way of bachelor, or a boy (depending on who's telling the story). Chalk it up to life, and society in general. Women love to brag about how the ratio of eligible men to eligible women is 9:1...don't think that that one man doesn't know his worth. He has a choice of 9+ women...why should he settle down on ONE female, of whom he may have preconceived notions...when he can do HIS thing and decide. There is really NO set time for a man to "mature", except for the time-table set by women who have the perfect wedding planned.

Like I said...that ONE man knows his worth, and the thing that is REALLY throwing off the woman's timetable is when that ONE man sees how many of his brethren have either gone down swinging, or gone down in flames. It doesn't speak well toward anything but playing Russian Roulette with females until you finally settle down with one that has either waited you out, or played the game better than you.

Then you enter yourself in the "6 out of 10 marriages end in divorce" lottery...and you got a 60% chance of buying the winning (losing) ticket.

To that end, I tell a brother be a confirmed bachelor and/or a scared little boy...you can be both...and still hold your head up high.