caught daughter with boy

[Cleopatra_J]

My grandmother took the doorknobs off my cousins door when she found out he had a girl in there when she wasn't home.... he was 21. So I definitely agree with taking the locks off or doorknobs or whatever you need to do. I'm 23 and I lived home last summer when I first graduated and she was not having that. No dudes was over or if they did come over they had to sit on the other side of the couch. Once when i was like 16 she came home early and me and my then boyfriend were in my room... it was all hell no

When we were younger and she'd leave us home alone, she'd say no company, and while we thought she couldn't find out, she had all the neighbors watching us! that's the problem these days, no sense of community, everyone is out for self. Make friends with those neighbors, they will damn sure tell you whats going on and more....

Anyway, I think you need to have some serious talks with your daughter, but she's not going to listen-I mean she is a 13 year old girl. what you also should do is make a trip to that young mans house and speak to his parents. Most of the time the boys parents dont know either.

 

[321DH]

after i beat the murder rap i"ll be fine.... she'd be dead....LOL.

I told all my nieces what i did to get pussy, what i said, how i acted, and what i really meant by everything said to get a bitch to fuck and suck....
i didn't sugar coat it, or lie... i told the truth..... its all that works...
if she has any future plans, take her out to see how teen moms get around on the train, take her to where she can talk to teen moms that have no help from the teen dads,,,,,

all my nieces have made it so far... not saying they ain't doing it in college, but they are grown ass women and they know better now...
i have 3 more and 3 nephews to teach the ropes...
Damn then my kid will be here in 7 more months.....
a pimps work is never done...LOL

keep us posted on your progress....

 

[doggish_098]

I would have kicked the door in.... Then made her ass use her allowance to pay for that shit.

 

[haitian1]

today is my 6 year olds birthday but no party today all the girls are on punishment for the week my babies momma will send the kids to stay with me for the summer and we are taking the 11 and 13 year olds out of THOMAS JEFFERSON Middle School and finding them a private school for the next school year

 

[QueEx]

How would you have dealt with this

Ideally, when she was 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 . . . ; that is, well before
she became a teen. By the time he or she becomes a teenager, along
with the onset of hormonal changes, its a must that the judgment-
foundation already be laid. You might be able to make some values/
judgment changes after they become teens, but I just believe that
instilling sound values/judgment largely comes before -- because by
that time: they is what they is.

After that, you can use lockdown, denial of shit, etc., punishment kinds of
things to try to stop what you see as bad behavior, but you're you're
probably only preventing shit that you can see -- but not shit they may do
when they are on their own -- and at some point (cause you can't be there
24/7) they will be on their own.

QueEx

 

[absolutvodka]

your daughters mom is a bird

if you don't want your daughter to be a hoe then you need to take control over the situation.

 

[melonpecan]

Sorry to hear that. There's some good advice on here- use it wisely.

I will say though that growing up VERY repressed led me to do things that I probably might not have done. I was told that I couldn't have a boyfriend until I was 18...told that I would not have the sex talk until 21...I'm 24 and to this day according to my parents I still can't watch movies with sex in them.


I'm not saying that your daughter or your other children might need a dictatorship, (my life was not a benevolent one), but try to take into account the type of person your daughter is, versus the type you want her to be.

I hate to think about it when my daughter gets to be that age. I know there are some things that my parents got right, (I had to fight to get them to knock on my closed not locked door), but there is so much they got wrong. They never took into account the type of person I was or my mentality, (I'm trying to generalize). Just make sure is understanding of your position and the world according to her mind and not her age.

 

[Machete]

I smelled myself one day, then my dad whooped my ass and I didnt smell for a while.​

I smelled myself one day and my mom kicked me.

I don't mean figuratively, like she "kicked my ass".

I mean literally, she picked her foot up off the floor, cocked in the chamber and let loose with a side kick right to my hip.

Man you better put that trip back on schedule..most girls act up because they need daddy time.. take it, yall spend time and when yall get back, you have to set aside just her and you time, so you can get to know her and 2 hours with you is 2 hours she aint sneaking somebody in

Daddy time can be had w/o the trip. Kids need to understand that if they don't act right, they lose priviledges. You letting your feelings blind you. True love of a child, should include rewards AND punishment. You've got to equip them with the tools that they need to make it on their own.

today is my 6 year olds birthday but no party today all the girls are on punishment for the week my babies momma will send the kids to stay with me for the summer and we are taking the 11 and 13 year olds out of THOMAS JEFFERSON Middle School and finding them a private school for the next school year

Not to burst your bubble, but shit happens in private schools. Catholic schools too. Boys are generally the same across the board. If you make that move, then do it cuz the school is better for her in the long run. Don't think that changing schools will change her behavior. That's only going to happen if you an ur ex work together.

Oh, and no more babysitting. The girl gamed ya ex, prolly planning that all along. And, follow ur first mind. No trip to Disneyland, all them kids are culpable. They were all lying. In one form or another.

I personally wouldn't stress the boy aspect as far as the punishment is concerned, I would have a long talk about it. And she's done SOMETHING, they weren't just listening to music. I could believe that if it was the first time that it happened, but she's been doing it for a year. You do have to make sure that the punishment is severe. I don't know if u beat your kids, or no. But it has to be something that sticks out in her mind, so that she realizes the fun that she might have isn't worth the trouble if she gets caught. And again, NO more babysitting. If you have no other choice, then have the neighbors check on them. Other family members,

Alot of men don't realize that they have to be stern with their daughters (kids in general actually), not mean, not gruff, not abusive. Mean what you say, and say what you mean. Too many kids are undisciplined because their parents are, or because the parents didn't have the patience to discipline their children.

I feel for you. I've been in a similar situation, but it's was alot worse. Hope it works out.

 

[Harlem's Angel]

My grandmother took the doorknobs off my cousins door when she found out he had a girl in there when she wasn't home.... he was 21. So I definitely agree with taking the locks off or doorknobs or whatever you need to do. I'm 23 and I lived home last summer when I first graduated and she was not having that. No dudes was over or if they did come over they had to sit on the other side of the couch. Once when i was like 16 she came home early and me and my then boyfriend were in my room... it was all hell no

When we were younger and she'd leave us home alone, she'd say no company, and while we thought she couldn't find out, she had all the neighbors watching us! that's the problem these days, no sense of community, everyone is out for self. Make friends with those neighbors, they will damn sure tell you whats going on and more....

Anyway, I think you need to have some serious talks with your daughter, but she's not going to listen-I mean she is a 13 year old girl. what you also should do is make a trip to that young mans house and speak to his parents. Most of the time the boys parents dont know either.

 

[LeroyDibiase]

Why are you punishing the other kids???

 

[jucurious]

I smelled myself one day and my mom kicked me.

I don't mean figuratively, like she "kicked my ass".

I mean literally, she picked her foot up off the floor, cocked in the chamber and let loose with a side kick right to my hip.

wait...that reminds me of the time my mom kicked me in the stomach...n i didn't even do nothin

 

[Crown&Coke]

wait...that reminds me of the time my mom kicked me in the stomach...n i didn't even do nothin

​

 

[jucurious]

​

 

[Crown&Coke]

Bring it on. . . .







I have my spatula ready. . .​

 

[haitian1]

Why are you punishing the other kids???

Because they knew about it and said nothing to me or their mom well my 4 year old tried to tell us but we misunderstood him he said the boy next door gave her a weggie under the bed. Their now giving me the silent treatment like I care I need the peace and Quiet

 

[future2001]

so the 4 year olds still on punishment? he tried didn't he.. i mean dudes 4 he gonna do what his older sister say.. He don't know no better...

and a wedgie.. wedgie.. or however u spell it.. aka dude was pulling pants off and panties down.. damn... god don't give me no daughters please... please... please...

the moms needs a talking to too.. you can't be that gullible.. or blind.. but maybe she was working or something.. but still talk to the moms too

and private school won't help... if thats the reason you're switching..

 

[dwnsouth]

get you one of these and put in the living room.....


EZ-EYE Wireless Color Spy Camera with Built-in DVR
http://www.ezwatchstore.com/shop/EZ-EYE-Wireless-Color-Spy-Camera-with-Built-in-DVR-p-16272.html


oh, and check the windows to see if she sneaking people in that way.....

 

[auggiedoggy]

You shoulda

Kicked in the door waving the four-four. All you heard was Poppa don't hit him no more.

(2nd Biggie quote of the day)

Damn yall kids have doors to the rooms.

 

[QueEx]

Their now giving me the silent treatment like I care I need the peace and Quiet

Why even seek advice playa?

QueEx

 

[p5ych3]

Damn 13 and showing signs of deceit and manipulation, by getting the baby sitting job,
paying the lils one and having dude over going on a year. You gotta keep a close eye on
her.

Good advice given by the others.

 

[haitian1]

so the 4 year olds still on punishment? he tried didn't he.. i mean dudes 4 he gonna do what his older sister say.. He don't know no better...

and a wedgie.. wedgie.. or however u spell it.. aka dude was pulling pants off and panties down.. damn... god don't give me no daughters please... please... please...

the moms needs a talking to too.. you can't be that gullible.. or blind.. but maybe she was working or something.. but still talk to the moms too

and private school won't help... if thats the reason you're switching..

Their mom spoils these kids rotten she never punishes them these kids cant do no wrong in her eyes. Like today I lift the kids at my dads house so I can go do some work in Okeechobee at about 4:00pm I get a call from the 13 year old saying that their mom has taken them off punishment and their going on a shopping spree I talk to the mom and she's saying that I'm to hard on the kids Wtf is this bitch talking about to hard on the kids we get in to it over the phone now I have to go back to Miami from Okeechobee to deal with this dumb bitch

 

[DarkCity]

Once when i was like 16 she came home early and me and my then boyfriend were in my room... it was all hell no

Your then boyfriend was ready to jump out the window but you wouldn't let him. And when she came upstairs he had your t-shirt on backwards. That was some shit.

To the OP. . .Birth Control. Just as a security blanket. It is safe to assume she is having sex. Sneaking a boy into her room for a year. I'm sorry man.

 

[Machete]

Because they knew about it and said nothing to me or their mom well my 4 year old tried to tell us but we misunderstood him he said the boy next door gave her a weggie under the bed. Their now giving me the silent treatment like I care I need the peace and Quiet

Their mom spoils these kids rotten she never punishes them these kids cant do no wrong in her eyes. Like today I lift the kids at my dads house so I can go do some work in Okeechobee at about 4:00pm I get a call from the 13 year old saying that their mom has taken them off punishment and their going on a shopping spree I talk to the mom and she's saying that I'm to hard on the kids Wtf is this bitch talking about to hard on the kids we get in to it over the phone now I have to go back to Miami from Okeechobee to deal with this dumb bitch

Ya problem is with your ex. She's the root of the problem. You need to talk to her, and explain to her that by not being "hard" on them, she's actually hurting them. Some people don't understand that you can punish you children out of love (punish, not abuse).