Budgeting For Relatioships

[Baldhead_Digital]

Hey everyone I'm making this post on both boards because I want to see the different viewpoints...

I'm in a relationship and I'm noticing that my spending is wild..i.e .. dinner dates, trips,ect... ect.. It's time for a new car and I'm thinking I'm going to pick up the Tesla, but I need to save a few dollars, cause I'm trying to avoid a car note. Aside form the car buying putting together and sticking to a budget is a responsible thing to do..ect...

So I'm putting together this budget... So far I got 40% income going to fixed expenses..i.e Mortgage, utilities ect... 15% to grooming ect... I'm trying to add my girlfriend into the budget ( i.e. dates, trips, gifts,ect) Not on the Sugar daddy thing, but just keeping track of hoe I'm spending. I was also thinking that if i had a fixed amount of resources dedicated to the relationship I'd probably better manage and improve the quality..i.e.. better planning ect...

So here's the questions ladies.. how much of your man's monthly income should he devote to a relationship... keep this in mind


-She's a girl friend not a baby-momma

-We don't live together

-She has a job and car and her own stuff


Also once I have the budget..should I tell my girl about the budget?

Ladies what are your thoughts

 

[JofromthaNO]

I think this question also depends on your monthly income and how much you feel to put over to the side for a down payment on a new vehicle. Especially as a relationship gets older, and you realize going out to eat, movies, etc. can easily become monotonous, you start to get creative with dates. Something I did at my bridal shower that has actually helped my guy and I is I had guests write down unique ideas for dates. Things ranged from more expensive outings to inexpensive picnics in the park.

If she's a woman of substance, she'll be picking up the tab for dates and not expecting you to always take her out anyway...but, it's not my relationship so I'm just over here...sipping my tea...lol

 

[Baldhead_Digital]

Thanks Jo, so as a women what percentage of your man's income would you feel was appropriate for him to devote ? ( before you got married)?

 

[JofromthaNO]

Thanks Jo, so as a women what percentage of your man's income would you feel was appropriate for him to devote ? ( before you got married)?

I would include it in the "Entertainment" category, if you budget for things like eating out, concerts, etc. I feel this should never be more than 20% of your income. Some months may be more (for example, if Janet Jackson is coming to town and you NEVER know when you'll see her in concert again, so you put forth more money than you normally would for tickets lol.) However, just with any budget, if you put more toward it in one month, the next month, I would pull back what I spent in that category...

 

[swiftandsilent]

I think this question also depends on your monthly income and how much you feel to put over to the side for a down payment on a new vehicle. Especially as a relationship gets older, and you realize going out to eat, movies, etc. can easily become monotonous, you start to get creative with dates. Something I did at my bridal shower that has actually helped my guy and I is I had guests write down unique ideas for dates. Things ranged from more expensive outings to inexpensive picnics in the park.

If she's a woman of substance, she'll be picking up the tab for dates and not expecting you to always take her out anyway ...but, it's not my relationship so I'm just over here...sipping my tea...lol

Oh my bad.

 

[Baldhead_Digital]

I would include it in the "Entertainment" category, if you budget for things like eating out, concerts, etc. I feel this should never be more than 20% of your income. Some months may be more (for example, if Janet Jackson is coming to town and you NEVER know when you'll see her in concert again, so you put forth more money than you normally would for tickets lol.) However, just with any budget, if you put more toward it in one month, the next month, I would pull back what I spent in that category...

Thanks Jo for your input. I wish I could get more female in put on this subject. 20% isn't too excessive. My goal here is to do two things..1 improve the quality if the resources that I devote to our relationship while also monitor and setting some limits on my spending with/ on her.. For example if I'm setting my budget at $1500, instead of having a couple of expensive dinners out, I could plan a nice weekend getaway. Also After improving the quality of the resources I think once i hit the $1500 budget "that's out of my budget for the month" would be received a lot better. This is not to say that she doesn't pick up the check on occasion. She does an I've never really asked her to. But I'm gauging where the limits are.

 

[JofromthaNO]

Thanks Jo for your input. I wish I could get more female in put on this subject. 20% isn't too excessive. My goal here is to do two things..1 improve the quality if the resources that I devote to our relationship while also monitor and setting some limits on my spending with/ on her.. For example if I'm setting my budget at $1500, instead of having a couple of expensive dinners out, I could plan a nice weekend getaway. Also After improving the quality of the resources I think once i hit the $1500 budget "that's out of my budget for the month" would be received a lot better. This is not to say that she doesn't pick up the check on occasion. She does an I've never really asked her to. But I'm gauging where the limits are.

It's never sexy to say, "that's out of my budget for the month." A better way to rephrase it might be, "Instead of doing XYZ this weekend, I'd like to do..." Even if it is out of the budget, if she's not sharing resource with you, she truly has no right to know what your budget is and/or how much you're spending (or not spending) on her when it comes to dates. I did recently read somewhere that close to 50% of couples don't know how much the other person makes...but, again, if bills aren't being paid by the other person and/or utilities shared, no one may need to know all that. Once you've got a woman knowing your "bottom line," you never know what she might do with that information...she can use it against you possibly (i.e., why aren't you making THIS much money?!?") or who knows what else.

Again, I'm not saying this is how all woman react or your particular woman...BUT, I personally wouldn't feel the need to share monetary information with anyone who doesn't have a vested reason for it.

 

[doggish_098]

where you going to find a tesla with no car note

 

[dHustla]

Jo for Treasurer! 2016!

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[Flawless]

You are spending too much money on her, 40% on living expenses, 15% on grooming. That leaves 45% which at least 20 should be going to retirement, then do you have kids, a 6 month emergency fund? How many more years you have on your mortgage don't you want to be debt free? Budgeting for your date life is a good idea but but don't go over 10% of your income, also tell the bitch to cook something every now and then and if she can't cook she better learn.

 

[Baldhead_Digital]

where you going to find a tesla with no car note

I'm planing to use cash..finance and and pay in four lump payments from Savings. I want to have the money available before I make the purchase.

It's never sexy to say, "that's out of my budget for the month." A better way to rephrase it might be, "Instead of doing XYZ this weekend, I'd like to do..." Even if it is out of the budget, if she's not sharing resource with you, she truly has no right to know what your budget is and/or how much you're spending (or not spending) on her when it comes to dates. I did recently read somewhere that close to 50% of couples don't know how much the other person makes...but, again, if bills aren't being paid by the other person and/or utilities shared, no one may need to know all that. Once you've got a woman knowing your "bottom line," you never know what she might do with that information...she can use it against you possibly (i.e., why aren't you making THIS much money?!?") or who knows what else.

Again, I'm not saying this is how all woman react or your particular woman...BUT, I personally wouldn't feel the need to share monetary information with anyone who doesn't have a vested reason for it.

Interesting I'll keep that in mind. I feel like you just gave me some golden advice. Thanks for that insight

You are spending too much money on her, 40% on living expenses, 15% on grooming. That leaves 45% which at least 20 should be going to retirement, then do you have kids, a 6 month emergency fund? How many more years you have on your mortgage don't you want to be debt free? Budgeting for your date life is a good idea but but don't go over 10% of your income, also tell the bitch to cook something every now and then and if she can't cook she better learn.

In the percentages I laid out I made a typo I forgot to fix it in this thread. I just made the correction. No I don't have kids neither does she. I have quite a few years on the mortgage. I'm good on the emergency fund plus I have rental income as well as my profession.So along with keeping an eye on my spending. Having a budget will help me be more spontaneous..i.e.. Flowers gifts. I'll have it in the budget already. So it's like i'll have a monthly reminder. Sad to say she does not cook. when we eat at home it's at my house and I do the cooking. I'm not sure if she knows how or of she just doesn't like it. She enjoys eating out quite a bit.

 

[JofromthaNO]

Jo for Treasurer! 2016!

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk

[SIZE="4"



[SIZE="4"]In the percentages I laid out I made a typo I forgot to fix it in this thread. I just made the correction. No I don't have kids neither does she. I have quite a few years on the mortgage. I'm good on the emergency fund plus I have rental income as well as my profession.So along with keeping an eye on my spending. Having a budget will help me be more spontaneous..i.e.. Flowers gifts. I'll have it in the budget already. So it's like i'll have a monthly reminder. Sad to say she does not cook. when we eat at home it's at my house and I do the cooking. I'm not sure if she knows how or of she just doesn't like it. She enjoys eating out quite a bit.[/SIZE]

Um, sir...she doesn't cook...

Okay, here's the thing: many women, whether young or old, get into the habit of eating out a lot when single. I can tell you, when I was single, I ate out a lot. It sucked cooking a meal, even if it was a small one, and I was the only one eating it. And, I hate leftovers after, like, two days of eating them suckers lol

However, maybe some of your dates can be cooking classes and/or cooking together to check out her "cooking skills," and/or assess if she has any. Just a thought. I mean, do you really want to wife/date a woman that doesn't possess cooking skills...unless you plan to cook during the relationship anyway...

 

[Baldhead_Digital]

Um, sir...she doesn't cook...

Okay, here's the thing: many women, whether young or old, get into the habit of eating out a lot when single. I can tell you, when I was single, I ate out a lot. It sucked cooking a meal, even if it was a small one, and I was the only one eating it. And, I hate leftovers after, like, two days of eating them suckers lol

However, maybe some of your dates can be cooking classes and/or cooking together to check out her "cooking skills," and/or assess if she has any. Just a thought. I mean, do you really want to wife/date a woman that doesn't possess cooking skills...unless you plan to cook during the relationship anyway...

Thanks for the input. now that i have budget in place. I can better plan for our dates instead of having impromptu let's go check out this or that place things. Also hopefully this will eliminate the dreaded "What do you want to eat" conversation I SO hate.if I'm planing excursions, dinner dates will be on her.

 

[Upgrade Dave]

I think this question also depends on your monthly income and how much you feel to put over to the side for a down payment on a new vehicle. Especially as a relationship gets older, and you realize going out to eat, movies, etc. can easily become monotonous, you start to get creative with dates. Something I did at my bridal shower that has actually helped my guy and I is I had guests write down unique ideas for dates. Things ranged from more expensive outings to inexpensive picnics in the park.

If she's a woman of substance, she'll be picking up the tab for dates and not expecting you to always take her out anyway...but, it's not my relationship so I'm just over here...sipping my tea...lol

I was thinking this same thing as I read it.

I've never been good at breaking down my budget in percentages. I'm old. I pay my bills, stash some to the side, and what's left goes to entertainment.
If you and this lady are just dating, this is where you get to see what kind of mate she would be.