BGOL Men 35+: Do you have a long time best friend?

[playahaitian]

Like most of the board I got many "friends" but only a few trusted close friends...

I got the same best friend from when I was 6 years old(best man at my wedding)...

And a very close female friend I used to date in college but known since HS.

I've noticed this generation REALLY doesn't have close trusted friends...

Facebook, Twitter, etc. dont count...

I just read this article on these dudes...

http://movies.yahoo.com/blogs/wide-screen/matt-damon-ben-affleck-reunite-tiff-argo-181933032.html
​

and it got me thinking...

Do Black Men form these types of bonds???

Especially when business is concerned?

Look at the music industry especially in Hip-Hop after the death of Chris Lighty...

Is this something WE as Black Men need to work on?

Shit most brothers can't even look at each other on the street without ice grills

I swear it seems like especially after reading that New Brooklyn thread, black kids will let white people slide, but target people who look JUST like them...

THOUGHTS?​

 

[doggish_098]

a wise man once told me long ago there is no such thing as a best friend... a friend is someone who will put their life on the line for you and you will do the same for them, so how can you put one persons friendship above another.

 

[ScorpDiesel]

Nope. Never understood the point of maintaining contacts.

 

[playahaitian]

a wise man once told me long ago there is no such thing as a best friend... a friend is someone who will put their life on the line for you and you will do the same for them, so how can you put one persons friendship above another.

I dont know Dog.

I know brothers who have served in the military together and they tight FOREVER.

Me and my friend were best friend in each others weddings and baptized each others kids...

been through some shit together...

bar fight, road trips, girls...and some some serious shit.

I reserve that title for only like one person.

But I THINK I understand what you saying...

 

[A to Dah K]

a wise man once told me long ago there is no such thing as a best friend... a friend is someone who will put their life on the line for you and you will do the same for them, so how can you put one persons friendship above another.

bullshit,only person i would ever put my life on the line for is my mamma and she aint around no more.when& if i have a wife and kids they will take that place

 

[Onpoint]

I had cats in my teens and 20's I thought were my friends. But as time went on and I chose to leave certain things alone and they chose to live out 2nd and 3rd childhoods or do thing that your really only supposed to do in your 20's. We've grown apart. The only friend I guess I really have lives in another state. We link few times a year, set up trips shit like that! But when you grow up your circle gets smaller. It's life

 

[doggish_098]

I dont know Dog.

I know brothers who have served in the military together and they tight FOREVER.

Me and my friend were best friend in each others weddings and baptized each others kids...

been through some shit together...

bar fight, road trips, girls...and some some serious shit.

I reserve that title for only like one person.

But I THINK I understand what you saying...

see the problem is people use the term "friend" to loosely... you work with somebody and maybe they invite you to their house or whatever then all of a sudden you are "friends". that ain't what true friendship is about in my opinion.

 

[playahaitian]

see the problem is people use the term "friend" to loosely... you work with somebody and maybe they invite you to their house or whatever then all of a sudden you are "friends". that ain't what true friendship is about in my opinion.

EXACTLY!!!

That is what I'm saying...

I think I mentioned this in my OP ...

this generation thinks everyone on they Facebook page is they friend.

I have like 2 real trusted individuals in my circle.

But Affleck and Damon man impress me, like Lucas and Spielberg even Denzel/Sam Jackson and Spike to an extent.

Nope. Never understood the point of maintaining contacts.

Even for networking reasons???

Maybe my OP was off...

I mean this two dudes had a plan and a dream to make a movie and they did...

caught lighting in a bottle and blew up...

but actually remain friend and work together professionally to this day and also STILL close friends...

I think Black Men could learn from this...

I think this is a much more positive alternative to gang shit.

 

[Ill Paragraph]

Peace,

Nope. Never understood the point of maintaining contacts.

You serious?

 

[Amajorfucup]

a wise man once told me long ago there is no such thing as a best friend... a friend is someone who will put their life on the line for you and you will do the same for them, so how can you put one persons friendship above another.

He wasnt that wise of a man if he cant understand and acknowledge the concept of best friend the bond that two human beings can forge.

 

[doggish_098]

i'm getting a little older and you know you friends start to get married or whatever my thing is i never know what to do when i am around their wives do you go for the hug do you go for the kiss on the chick or do you just give the head nod and say what up. it is always awkward for me.

 

[Philli]

a wise man once told me long ago there is no such thing as a best friend... a friend is someone who will put their life on the line for you and you will do the same for them, so how can you put one persons friendship above another.

Whoever told you this crock of shit should never be considered wise...

 

[forcesteeler]

I have 1 or 2 close Friends, But as i got older and wise man once told me

Learn to hate your friends, Friends change but your enemies remain the same.

 

[sorsey]

Nope. Never understood the point of maintaining contacts.

Hope you are joking.If not you must be a lonely dude.
I'm in my late twenties and i have had a close knit of friends(3) since i was 7-8. I feel you OP.

 

[doggish_098]

He wasnt that wise of a man if he cant understand and acknowledge the concept of best friend the bond that two human beings can forge.

you ain't that wise if you put ones friendship above another friendship...

lets say one friend come through for you a couple times and your best friend ain't there. ya'll still cool but does the one that is there for you more then become the best friend.


a friend is a friend and you never know who your friends are until you need them

 

[REDLINE]

He wasnt that wise of a man if he cant understand and acknowledge the concept of best friend the bond that two human beings can forge.

Whoever told you this crock of shit should never be considered wise...

I have to agree, maybe wise-cracking or wise-ass but definite not wise.

 

[playahaitian]

I have 1 or 2 close Friends, But as i got older and wise man once told me

Learn to hate your friends, Friends change but your enemies remain the same.

Ill say this the BIGGEST BETRAYAL I have ever suffered came from a dude I would have taken a bullet for and actually took the fall for once...

all over some chick...

but I got older learned from it and it does change your outlook on EVERYONE.

But I still think WE as Black Men aint even cool or even civil with each other like back in the day...

That Aint Right

 

[Hellfish]

Don't believe in that best friend stuff, seems rather childish. I do have a friend who I've known for about twenty years, he's like fam. It's good to have people from the past in your life. I have a shit poor memory and I need kats like him to remind me of stuff.

 

[Onpoint]

Ill say this the BIGGEST BETRAYAL I have ever suffered came from a dude I would have taken a bullet for and actually took the fall for once...

all over some chick...

but I got older learned from it and it does change your outlook on EVERYONE.

But I still think WE as Black Men aint even cool or even civil with each other like back in the day...

That Aint Right

Very true! I mean just look at how some deal with each other on BGOL, not saying it's bad all the time. But most of the time on here cats rather try to ock than help someone out. Some cats are cool and try to kick some knowledge or lead another in the right direction but black men nowadays aren't as quick to help another out. It's sad man, I see it everyday at the job! I have even taken a step back from reaching out as much as I once did. Not because I don't want to, but because most that I've helped hasn't taken advantage of the help, or just completely fuck up the oppurtunity in the most ignorant ways!

 

[fwillia]

Ill say this the BIGGEST BETRAYAL I have ever suffered came from a dude I would have taken a bullet for and actually took the fall for once...

all over some chick...

but I got older learned from it and it does change your outlook on EVERYONE.

But I still think WE as Black Men aint even cool or even civil with each other like back in the day...

That Aint Right

At best we don't trust each other, at worst we hate each other.

I try to never treat people, especially other brothers like that.

 

[Amajorfucup]

you ain't that wise if you put ones friendship above another friendship...

lets say one friend come through for you a couple times and your best friend ain't there. ya'll still cool but does the one that is there for you more then become the best friend.


a friend is a friend and you never know who your friends are until you need them

You're a fool. And i sincerely dont mean that in a condescending or insulting manner. I mean it as in to say you are foolish if you think all "friends" are created equal. As human beings we are all individuals and possess individual strengths, weaknesses, traits, and flaws. There are absolutely differences in character, ethics, trustworthiness, dependability, and closeness of friends. There are those that you have a stronger bond with for whatever reason (ie common struggle, common goals..) and those whom you are more likely to call upon in times of need.

Im not one to use the term lightly or loosely and though i have been blessed with some good brothers and sisters whom i consider friends, there are definitely those whom i have a closer bond with and whom i am more prone to call on in a time of need.

All friends are not the same bro.

 

[doggish_098]

You're a fool. And i sincerely dont mean that in a condescending or insulting manner. I mean it as in to say you are foolish if you think all "friends" are created equal. As human beings we are all individuals and possess individual strengths, weaknesses, traits, and flaws. There are absolutely differences in character, ethics, trustworthiness, dependability, and closeness of friends. There are those that you have a stronger bond with for whatever reason (ie common struggle, common goals..) and those whom you are more likely to call upon in times of need.

Im not one to use the term lightly or loosely and though i have been blessed with some good brothers and sisters whom i consider friends, there are definitely those whom i have a closer bond with and whom i am more prone to call on in a time of need.

All friends are not the same bro.

if you pick and choose who you call your friends wisely then all your friends would be on the same level and that is the way i feel about the subject. all that best friend stuff is bull. people damn near 50 years old talking about this my best friend

 

[Cock Head Jones]

Always get some wacky responses in threads about friendship or relationships...

Got 3 longtime friends. 1 of the 3 seriously let the rest of us down bout 10 yrs ago...over a bitch. Shit happens. i forgive but don't forget.

 

[Lower9Nupe]

Like most of the board I got many "friends" but only a few trusted close friends...

I got the same best friend from when I was 6 years old(best man at my wedding)...

And a very close female friend I used to date in college but known since HS.

I've noticed this generation REALLY doesn't have close trusted friends...

Facebook, Twitter, etc. dont count...

I just read this article on these dudes...

http://movies.yahoo.com/blogs/wide-screen/matt-damon-ben-affleck-reunite-tiff-argo-181933032.html
​

and it got me thinking...

Do Black Men form these types of bonds???

Especially when business is concerned?

Look at the music industry especially in Hip-Hop after the death of Chris Lighty...

Is this something WE as Black Men need to work on?

Shit most brothers can't even look at each other on the street without ice grills

I swear it seems like especially after reading that New Brooklyn thread, black kids will let white people slide, but target people who look JUST like them...

THOUGHTS?​

The only friends I have I've known since I was six. We went to high school and college together. They were my groomsmen and vice versa. I'm Godfather to several of their children and vice versa. We take an annual "fellas" vacation, annual family vacation with our children and annual vacation for just couples. Our parents grew up together in the same neighborhood, attended high school and college together. Our children are literally the THIRD generation that will grow up together.

 

[SmoothD]

I dont know Dog.

I know brothers who have served in the military together and they tight FOREVER.

Me and my friend were best friend in each others weddings and baptized each others kids...

been through some shit together...

bar fight, road trips, girls...and some some serious shit.

I reserve that title for only like one person.

But I THINK I understand what you saying...

This x1000000

Been friends with an army buddy for 20+ years. Not once have we ever let each other down. Been through plenty of shit, divorce, unemployment, kids, death, you name it. Matter of fact, I am on his power of attorney, in case of emergencies.

Someone told me awhile back, (maybe heard it on BGOL), that family will let you down before a true friend.
Truer words have never been spoken.

 

[The Jamaican]

Most of my closest friends i have known since i was six. The rest since high school. Total of about 5 of us. 30 Years later, we still chat, go out, hang out with the kids almost every week.

we all grew a tough skin quickly.

 

[The Jamaican]

The only friends I have I've known since I was six. We went to high school and college together. They were my groomsmen and vice versa. I'm Godfather to several of their children and vice versa. We take an annual "fellas" vacation, annual family vacation with our children and annual vacation for just couples. Our parents grew up together in the same neighborhood, attended high school and college together. Our children are literally the THIRD generation that will grow up together.

Boom. didnt see this. Sounds about right.

 

[SKATTA]

Cant say i have a best friend,however i have a very good dependable friend who ive known for over 20 years.

dude like my brother.

 

[MrBee]

Real tall @ OP...

 

[GAMETHEORY]

permanent interests only

no permanent friends...or enemies

 

[brickwall92]

EXACTLY!!!

That is what I'm saying...

I think I mentioned this in my OP ...

this generation thinks everyone on they Facebook page is they friend.

I have like 2 real trusted individuals in my circle.

But Affleck and Damon man impress me, like Lucas and Spielberg even Denzel/Sam Jackson and Spike to an extent.



Even for networking reasons???

Maybe my OP was off...

I mean this two dudes had a plan and a dream to make a movie and they did...

caught lighting in a bottle and blew up...

but actually remain friend and work together professionally to this day and also STILL close friends...

I think Black Men could learn from this...

I think this is a much more positive alternative to gang shit.

Started overbrook ent together... James lassiter and the other man needs no intro

 

[Cock Head Jones]

permanent interests only

no permanent friends...or enemies

On bgol, Sociopath its the new cool...

 

[MurderCity]

I'm 34 (35 in April) and my 2 oldest friends are brothers and I have known them since I was 4.

 

[Better]

Sore subject for me.

My best friend from childhood, dude and I haven't spoken since 2006. He moved away, and cut everyone off, and 'made' his wife do the same.

Other friends that I considered good friends, hung out with and played ball with all the time, we don't even talk anymore.

Shit is kind of sad when I think about it.

Them niggas would pile up in my momma's crib and soak up all her cool air, and eat her food, and now them niggas are ghost.


Still have a few friends from childhood years, but one dude...


...we both are bonded through our obsessive love of basketball and excellence, but dude was a jack boy, and though he never brought that shit around me, I'm always aware dude was a jack boy when he would come around.

I was prepared to consider dude one of my true friends, but one day when I was back in South Carolina, he asked me to ride to the store with him. They have those little cheap 1 dollar Arizona flavored drinks, and I asked dude to buy it for me until I got home, and HE SAID...


"Man, you should have brought your money...."







Ya'll know many pizzas and burgers this nigga ate off of me, and I didn't think twice about it???

Currently, my BEST FRIEND is a female, and she is also my business partner. If she ever crossed me, I'd be done. That chick has proven to be REALLY down for me, and after seeing other close friendships fall apart in the past, don't know if I'd ever recover if she crossed me.

My college roommate is REALLY good people, but dude tried to fuck my ex girl from my college days. It's not even that I loved the bitch, but DAMN NIGGA!!

Lastly, one of my musician friends from back in the day, but dude is jealous as fuck, so I just call him up every now and again for a good conversation. Dude is brilliant, but I don't know how to read dude sometimes.

 

[ScorpDiesel]

Peace,

You serious?

Very serious. Everyone serves their purpose in their allotted time.

Hope you are joking.If not you must be a lonely dude.
I'm in my late twenties and i have had a close knit of friends(3) since i was 7-8. I feel you OP.

I'm not lonely at all; I enjoy my solitude. Maybe you're the type of dude that craves interaction & the constant internal struggle of trying to measure up to your peers & the daily Facebook & Twitter posts to let everyone know what you're thinking at various moments of the day. I know alot of women like that.