Grew up in church. It's had its benefits, and I learned a lot. But as I started to read more on my own, religion didn't really make sense for me anymore. I studied Arabic in high school, so I was around a few middle easterners for a bit, some nation of Islam folks too. Only added to the confusion. Naturally, after high school I didn't go as much, just here or there, holidays, special events and whatnot. What REALLY threw me for a loop and made me not want to be a part of any organized religion was when I decided to get married, two different "men of god" put me up on the bullshit of religion.
The first preacher (my wife's) told us that we weren't "evenly yoked" and couldn't get married because I wasn't Apostolic (i was non-denominational). I took him to task with that bullshit, and upset him so he wouldn't marry us.
The second preacher (mine, of 15 years) jerked me because I wouldn't do marriage counseling with HIM, and wouldn't pay him what he wanted for the ceremony . I lived out of town, and it was hard to schedule with him , so we went to a preacher that my wife knew. So, come wedding weekend, the church basement flooded, so me and pops go and clean up the basement (something my pops did on the reagular, for years, because the pastor didn't want to pay for new plumbing). So on the wedding day, everyone is getting setup, but this dude nowhere to be found. We calling around(this was before everyone had cellphones), I fucking drove to his house looking for this punk. I get back to the church, everybody is panicked, I'm drenched in sweat cuz it's July and I running around in my tux....this nigga is behind the church building, chilling up against the fucking wall. I'm mad as fuck, but I respectfully ask him if he's ready to start. We get the ceremony going, he does a half ass job of it, doesnt even present us as man and wife at the end of the ceremony...that was literally the last time I spoke to him...my momma said he was upset about me not paying him and attending his counseling, which he was gonna charge us for, by the way. I'm like, for all the years of going to this man's church, me and my pops cutting the grass, fixing shit, cleaning, etc., and you gonna play me and fuck up my wedding for a few dollars!!!! He broke my faith, which I shouldn't have let him do, but I grew up listening to him, learning from him, working for him, bit he did me and mines wrong over some money....
Anyway, years later, I've come to realize that HE was wrong, and the religion had nothing to do with his own personal shit. But thaose experiences kept me out of church for many years. My wife continued to go with the kids, but I stayed away. I just recently started going back to church, more so as a favor to my wife. We relocated and hooked up with a small church, and they are really community minded, doing lots for the people in our area. I try to make the bible study, because it's being taught in a way that appeals to my love of history, religion, and spiritual growth. I can't say that I'm a devout Christian, but I just do my part to stay morally grounded and in contact with good people trying to do good things. I'm often at odds with my own spirituallity and personal beliefs, but I think most people are.