Make a Contribution to Remove NSFW Ads

......Abortion.....

ladyscorpio

ladyscorpio

Lively up yourself
BGOL Investor
I took this story from a caribbean forum that I frequent.
What are your thoughts ladies?


Was this really her only choice? What would you do in a case like this?

Its a little long but she was opening herself up.



Peace

POSTED on 04/09/2008 09:45:01


i was pregnant recently... yes i WAS pregnant. i no longer am... within 3 weeks of the pregnancy i began to demonstrate symptoms of the not so rare not often severe HYPERMESIS GRAVADIUM,a condition that only pregnant women seem to contract. it consists of vomiting... non stop. i don't mean morning sickness even though that is the milder form of the condition, i mean all day, everyday, no matter what you eat. and oral medications are out of the questions, as soon as it hits bottom, it comes back up. don't even talk about the other options NO... LETS NOT TALK ABOUT THAT.

i ended up hospitalised, the first time i went, the lovely doctor there stuck me in the ass with 2 shots of the leading medication (the cheap one for budget shoppers like myself) and sent me home. i left the hospital around 5.30 in the morning after being there from 5.30 the night before. got to my aunt's couch and went straight to sleep. the next day i had to go to the polyclinic for them to give me a letter of reference to give to the hospital for them to actually admit me to a ward.

i spent a couple days on drips. mixtures of the same meds the first doctor had stabbed me in the hiney with an vitamins, until they were satisfied that i was able to eat again, and sent me home, again on oral meds.

well, they lasted what? a week? 8 days ... yeah something like that, before i started throwing up again, i felt so weak from it, the meds failed again. when i began this pregnancy, i was 6 foot one... 200 lbs... good weight for me i'm not fat, nor overweight... when i got weighed the first time i went in the hospital i weight 190.

i put up with the vomiting for all of 4 or 5 days, then i went back to the polyclinic, this was nearly a month and a half the pregnancy had me too sick to go to work, barely enough strength to get up daily, no appetite, no desire to eat because it will come back up. this visit to the clinic was to ensure that they give me the letter of reference that i know the hospital would love to see.

the night before i went, my would have been baby-daddy came to see me, he saw the throwing up first hand, he saw my trembling to stand, he saw me fight the tears that were coming up along with my stomach lining, he was honestly freaked. this wasn't about the baby anymore, this was about me... making sure i survived what was supposed to be a beautiful time, all the nurses kept telling me how good i would feel once i held my baby for the first time, once i saw him/her eyes...

none of those nurses seemed to understand my brain screaming AND HOW THE FUCK IS THIS LITTLE MONSTER GONNA LIVE IF IT KILLS ME FIRST?????

the next morning i called family planning and got the number of a doctor who performs abortions, my best friend refused to offer more advise than, 'kid, this isn't our choice, its your's, if you can live with knowing you're about to do something YOU THINK is fundamentally wrong, if you can survive knowing you took a life, and if you think this is what you have to do to regain your own life, YOU HAVE TO MAKE THAT CHOICE.'

she would stand by me no matter what i did.

i called, got the info, then called my b/f... he wanted the baby out... it was hurting me, and as long as it was hurting me, a person he was accustomed to seeing so strong most of the time, he referred to the look on my face the night before as similar to that of the african women, and children who suffer daily. he couldn't deal with knowing that it was turning life threatening and no one would be willing to do anything to stop it.

i was admitted to the hospital at 11 weeks pregnant, and running out of options, i was worse than before and i could feel it, but none of the nurses on the ward that i was admitted to were aware that i had been there for the same issue before.

they were treating it like i was making it seem worse than it was. i went in the thursday, got discharged the sunday, made it out of the hospital and across the street and puked my guts up... went back to the hospital only to be told nothing we can do, take the oral meds and try to drink lots of liquids, i surpressed the urge to cuss her out and said to myself.. chill out, the date has been set, baby's gotta go... its agreed...

now comes the fun part that lots of you young girls should know... no matter what anyone tells you IT AIN'T EASY TO TERMINATE A PREGNANCY... A BABY IS A LIVING PART OF YOUR BODY UNTIL YOU PUSH HIM OR HER OUT. its going to hurt to get it removed... especially nearly out of the last part of the first trimester.

see, i was cutting it really close according to BARBADIAN medical standards. what my doctor (my G/P) had allowed me to know the morning before my second admittance to the hospital, was NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, NO ONE IN THIS ISLAND WILL TERMINATE A BABY AFTER 12 WEEKS, or after the the beginning of the second trimester.

but i got it done, it was a two day process, the first day, the doctor, nice guy, not one to get personally involved, told me straight he's not here to judge me (AKA HE DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHY I'M KILLING A BABY, AS LONG AS HE'S PAID AND NOTHING LIFE THREATENING TO ME HAPPENS ON HIS TABLE) he's just here to assist me with something i can't very well do on my own.

the first day, he inserted something in my cervix, for those of you who still aren't sure where that is, you know when you're having sex and he goes too deep and you feel a particularly sharp pain, feels like a severe period cramp, yeah... that's the f***er. the object he inserted was shaped like a pencil, about 3 and 1 half inches long into the opening of my cervix, the reason and purpose of this was because of how far along my pregnancy was, my cervix had closed up to 'protect the foetus' it was carrying so to speak, and it had also hardened significantly.

NOW THAT BULLSHIT HURT ... ALL THE TIME HE WAS TELLING ME TO TAKE IT EASY, RELAX... I'M LIKE MOTHER OF CHRIST MAN .... YOU STICK A PAINT BRUSH UP YOUR PENIS AND SEE IF YOU CAN RELAX... all of two minutes of pain, then it was over. he told me he would go ahead tomorrow once the stick expanded and my cervix had softened up... now i was like??? now if it hurt that much to go in, how much will it hurt to expand... i was kinda doubtful this was going to be a good feeling.

it wasn't so bad, honestly. it felt like the first day of my period, men, you will never understand this, don't try, women... you know that minor cramp that lets you know oh yeah... i'm coming? that's how this object felt overnight.

my dad called me that night, to check to make sure i was alright, so did my mom, and a girlfriend of mine, my bestfriend, she was there, and so was my b/f...

day two... woke up, threw up like a cow with only 3 functioning stomachs, tossed some blood... cried because i was killing my baby... the baby i wanted so bad i had already given names to, but at the same time, the baby that had cost me a stable place to live, nearly cost me my job and was causing my health to deteriorate at an alarming rate. cried some more because i was thinking what happens if i'm too weak to go thru the procedure? i don't have any time left, there is either stay in hospital for the next 6-7 months (an impossible feat mind you), wait until this gets so bad that the hospital forces labour (still baby might not survive) or get over vomiting my guts up and having no place to live since i haven't worked in about 2 months due to baby and mooch off my relatives (not happening) and finally, do this later. i'm 24 now, i have plenty of time to build my family.

by the time my b/f met me and my mother at the doctor's office, he had been there with me the day before, i was in a settled state of mind, this was just another experience in my twisted life. but it was an experience i was in control of this time. i had made my choice in sound mind, and i think i made the right one.

nothing too colourful today, i was sedated and woke up not knowing i had been k.o. for nearly 2 hours, for a mere 10 minute or so procedure... dang, if i could get to sleep like that at night.... not another nightmare.

my b/f told me he thinks it hit my mother hardest of all, they hadn't exchanged any words, none what so ever in the waiting room, but he thinks he felt her distress, he also thinks she and i have to argue to make each other feel comfortable. but, i won't knock him just yet, he's smarter than i give him credit for.

at the end of this i came out knowing i did something that before i wouldn't have even considered, i abhor the concept of taking a life, especially the life of an innocent, but at the end of it i figured that i can sure as hell survive without that, but can that survive without me? nah... i didn't think so either.

once again i may have revealled too much ... but i feel i need to share it ...

what would you have done in my position?

do you dare to judge? not just me, but any woman who chooses that.
Click to expand...
 
I don't judge her at all...... I would have done the same thing probably just a lot sooner. I have a phobia of throwing up.

I was pregnant once, decided not to keep it, went to get abortion but I was too early in pregnancy so I couldn't. There was a woman there who was 4.5 months pregnant and she had found out that if she didn't abort baby, she or baby probably wouldn't live. She was so sad and they had to use rods in her like the girl said she had. I never went back to abortion clinic, I was so stressed and going through such a rough time that I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks.

I think people judge abortion so strongly b/c they aren't faced with it or will never be. I think its a womans (or familys) choice on what should be done in "their" situation. There is no general guidelines, because everyone is different and its not always clear cut.
 
:eek::eek:


:(


that had to be sooooooooo hard for her


if i was going thru the same health issues...YES i would have done the same thing
 
yes it was her only choice... carrying that baby full term may have been a murder-suicide. i wouldve done the same without hesitation.
 
Abortion is... ultimately her decision... does she need to hear the other persons point of view strongly-absolutely... If a woman makes the decision to abort without considering her childs father, that is just pure selfishness... but ultimately it is an extremely personal decision, especially on an unmarried woman. In this case of a health crisis, like this one, you have to do what you need to do to ultimately survive. It's no point to bring a child in this world, the "supposed" ultimate joy, and not be able to be there to see them grow up...

Like someone said before, people judge harshly for something they've never been through. I've had friends who had to do it, and its definitely not an easy decision and I'm super glad I never had to do it...
 
Not sure what country she's in and what ob is like there, but that may have been her only choice. Here, she would have been admitted and watched overnight while getting some IV meds for the vomiting. In general I don't believe in birth control and abortions, but there is always a gray area
 
followup said:
Not sure what country she's in and what ob is like there, but that may have been her only choice. Here, she would have been admitted and watched overnight while getting some IV meds for the vomiting. In general I don't believe in birth control and abortions, but there is always a gray area
Click to expand...

she said she got those butttttt she after a week or so she was back at it.(throwing up that is) :(
 
jucurious said:
she said she got those butttttt she after a week or so she was back at it.(throwing up that is) :(
Click to expand...
Might not have had the same med choices is what I'm trying to say. Depending on the cost, if you go to 3rd world countries you would not necessarily have the same meds. They may have just given her IV fluids to help with dehydration.

Just re-read it. Just like I thought. She got something intramuscularly (in the butt) not IV
 
followup said:
Might not have had the same med choices is what I'm trying to say. Depending on the cost, if you go to 3rd world countries you would not necessarily have the same meds. They may have just given her IV fluids to help with dehydration.

Just re-read it. Just like I thought. She got something intramuscularly (in the butt) not IV
Click to expand...

Follow, i'm disappointed... I believe in the story she said Barbados... Im offended you referred to them as a third world country. In my experience in the Caribbean they have the same, if not BETTER medicine than they have in the US, that's a very westernized notion that perpetuates in America that we have the best medical practices... Very untrue. It is often that the most advanced medical discoveries are made in other countries and the "BEST" doctors are flown in to help us...
 
followup said:
Might not have had the same med choices is what I'm trying to say. Depending on the cost, if you go to 3rd world countries you would not necessarily have the same meds. They may have just given her IV fluids to help with dehydration.

Just re-read it. Just like I thought. She got something intramuscularly (in the butt) not IV
Click to expand...


i ended up hospitalised, the first time i went, the lovely doctor there stuck me in the ass with 2 shots of the leading medication (the cheap one for budget shoppers like myself) and sent me home. i left the hospital around 5.30 in the morning after being there from 5.30 the night before. got to my aunt's couch and went straight to sleep. the next day i had to go to the polyclinic for them to give me a letter of reference to give to the hospital for them to actually admit me to a ward.

i spent a couple days on drips. mixtures of the same meds the first doctor had stabbed me in the hiney with an vitamins, until they were satisfied that i was able to eat again, and sent me home, again on oral meds.
Click to expand...

maybe u didn't recognize it cuz she used a slang for IV
 
followup said:
Not sure what country she's in and what ob is like there, but that may have been her only choice. Here, she would have been admitted and watched overnight while getting some IV meds for the vomiting. In general I don't believe in birth control and abortions, but there is always a gray area
Click to expand...

C'mon "doc", I know you can read.

jucurious said:
maybe u didn't recognize it cuz she used a slang for IV
Click to expand...

She's a doc, she should know that.
 
Cleopatra_J said:
Follow, i'm disappointed... I believe in the story she said Barbados... Im offended you referred to them as a third world country. In my experience in the Caribbean they have the same, if not BETTER medicine than they have in the US, that's a very westernized notion that perpetuates in America that we have the best medical practices... Very untrue. It is often that the most advanced medical discoveries are made in other countries and the "BEST" doctors are flown in to help us...
Click to expand...

I would agree that back in the day this was the case. I'd agree that
cuba from recent info continues to be tops.

In Trinidad if things are seriously wrong i don't hold hope. I live in the south. They closed down the hospital there eventhough the refinery was expanded and another factory was built. if you have an emergency the nearest hospital is 1.5hrs away.

my grand parents travel from trinidad to the US to get medical care, due
to previous misdiagnoses etc. my dad died, may have lived if appropriate
care was given.

In the US top notch health care is there, however due to it being a
business that care doesn't reach the poor or underprivileged.
 
Cleopatra_J said:
Follow, i'm disappointed... I believe in the story she said Barbados... Im offended you referred to them as a third world country. In my experience in the Caribbean they have the same, if not BETTER medicine than they have in the US, that's a very westernized notion that perpetuates in America that we have the best medical practices... Very untrue. It is often that the most advanced medical discoveries are made in other countries and the "BEST" doctors are flown in to help us...
Click to expand...
HELLO!!!! I said I did not see what country she's from, but I think everybody knows that some of the countries in the Caribbean are developing nations (or 3rd world countries). Stop being so sensitive.
 
I really feel for this lady. She gets pregnant is lookiing forward to life with a new child and has to abort the pregnancy. I think abortion is easier to accept when your looking to terminate an unwanted pregnancy but in a case like this it has to be devastating.

Also let's be more aware of media manipulation. In that I mean the labels the media places upon us and countries that don't have anything to offer the masses. I've always taken offense to labels like minority, third world countries, ghetto etc. We are one race of people, Black. Whites take too many liberties at our expense with subtle reminders we are not their equals. Let's not label ourselves. We are all in the same struggle.
 
She did what she had to do, it's sad but, sometimes we make those once in a lifetime choices. Be happy for what you have and learn, from what you cannot control...
 
Good Read. She had me feeling like I was her man going through it with her. I am definitely Pro-Choice(Circumstance) and this one of the reasons why. She had to do what was best for her, as hard of a decision that may have been. Women can be some ass people some times.

But on a side note 6'1" from Barbados :yes:
 
followup said:
HELLO!!!! I said I did not see what country she's from, but I think everybody knows that some of the countries in the Caribbean are developing nations (or 3rd world countries). Stop being so sensitive.
Click to expand...

Follow on this am gonna have to disagree. There is a lot of misconception with regard to the Caribbean islands. Yes we have some that are poorer than others but third world no.
Developing countries do NOT equal third world.

Anyways with regard to the topic at hand. Abortion is not a choice that I personally would make. I do think that persons will choose what they deem to be right for them.

I cannot condone abortions however when they are used as a form of B/C.
This is more rampant than I had previously thought and I wonder why its become such the craze.:smh:

DarkCity said:
Good Read. She had me feeling like I was her man going through it with her. I am definitely Pro-Choice(Circumstance) and this one of the reasons why. She had to do what was best for her, as hard of a decision that may have been. Women can be some ass people some times.

But on a side note 6'1" from Barbados :yes:
Click to expand...

Well that is news DC. :) another Bajan pon scene.
 
ladyscorpio said:
Follow on this am gonna have to disagree. There is a lot of misconception with regard to the Caribbean islands. Yes we have some that are poorer than others but third world no.
Developing countries do NOT equal third world.

Anyways with regard to the topic at hand. Abortion is not a choice that I personally would make. I do think that persons will choose what they deem to be right for them.

I cannot condone abortions however when they are used as a form of B/C.
This is more rampant than I had previously thought and I wonder why its become such the craze.:smh:



Well that is news DC. :) another Bajan pon scene.
Click to expand...
It's semantics, but any economist will agree that Third world is synonymous with developing or underdeveloped nations. The name is not pretty and stereotypes a lot of countries while ignoring colonialism/empirialism/slavery and the dependency these nations have on the big 8. But calling a rose anything other than rose does not change it. Some Caribbean nations may not be as poor as some African or Asian countries, but they still are third world countries in many of the criteria. I did not say ALL Caribbean nations:

http://www.thirdworldtraveler.com/General/ThirdWorld_def.html
http://www.nationsonline.org/oneworld/least_developed_countries.htm

Edit: One more document to check out: http://hdr.undp.org/en/media/hdr_20072008_en_complete.pdf
 
Last edited:
followup said:
It's semantics, but any economist will agree that Third world is synonymous with developing or underdeveloped nations. The name is not pretty and stereotypes a lot of countries while ignoring colonialism/empirialism/slavery and the dependency these nations have on the big 8. But calling a rose anything other than rose does not change it. Some Caribbean nations may not be as poor as some African or Asian countries, but they still are third world countries in many of the criteria. I did not say ALL Caribbean nations:

http://www.thirdworldtraveler.com/General/ThirdWorld_def.html
http://www.nationsonline.org/oneworld/least_developed_countries.htm
Click to expand...

what do you call an underdeveloped "doctor" ? :dunno: :hmm:
 
followup said:
http://www.nationsonline.org/oneworld/third_world_countries.htm
Click to expand...

:lol:CACs, and their social calibrations, crack me up! (no pun intended)

third_world_map.jpg


How convenient. However, this begs the question, "what is the fifth world?" :)
 
sean69 said:
:lol:CACs, and their social calibrations, crack me up! (no pun intended)

third_world_map.jpg


How convenient. However, this begs the question, "what is the fifth world?" :)
Click to expand...


Greenland is a third world country!!??

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

It's not even a country, it's a province right!?

Less than a 100K people live there.

**** TEARS ****
 

Make a Contribution to Remove NSFW Ads
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top