Our interactions with women are as organic as the cosmos -- we chat them up in the grocery store, we flirt in the mall, we talk over the information superhighway, and we invite them into our lives as girlfriends, conquests and objects of our affection.
Some women are of the free variety -- free to act, free to think and, most importantly, free of a sordid history that may be putting up emotional roadblocks. They are the women we men can learn to be more brazen from.
Others are of the reserved variety -- reserved with their actions and their opinions, reserved as to the limits of their adventuresome spirit, and reserved with their displays of affection. These are the women we learn to be polite and courteous from.
Then there's the girl next door. She's all the things we want her to be -- sweet, honest, pretty, wholesome, and, hidden under a shroud of good manners, dirty and sexual. The perfect woman to settle down with.
But wait a minute... she's acting strange.
You thought she was perfect, but why is she in the bedroom crying on the phone with her mother? Is that the silent treatment? Yes it is, and you don't know why.
Your perfect girlfriend, the one you've been waiting all this time for, may be carrying around some extra emotional baggage. Here are some hints to recognizing it.
1- She has unexplained phone conversations
You're home from work and she's on the telephone having an emotional jam session with her next of kin. Worse yet, she won't tell you what it was about. Is she planning a party for you? Not bloody likely -- she's just sorting through the crap that you don't know about.
2- She has strange habits
Compulsivity is the product of unchecked emotion -- if she smokes, eats to excess, habitually sleeps late, drinks like a fish, or shows signs of being obsessive, she's got some junk in the emotional trunk. Don't assume that these patterned behaviors mean she's got problems. She may be looking at your magazine collection and thinking the same thing, but a woman who doesn't take care of herself has issues of esteem that could be red flags for the relationship.
3- She fails to share emotions
For any relationship to move along towards something serious, it is inevitable that you will be going mano a mano with her about the way you feel. If conversations from the heart result in her bottling up, or worse yet, having to get away from you, she likely has some issues to work out before she can really give herself to you. If your emotional outbursts are repellant to your girlfriend, she's likely got something else on her mind.
She never lets you out of her sight and she ain't got no friends.
4- She clings to you like flypaper
The woman for you will let you be you, even when she's standing right next to you. If your lady friend is micromanaging your life and watching your every move, chances are she's been burned, and has some emotional healing to do.
5- You have emotionally vacant sex
The noncommittal, no-strings-attached sex you dreamed of as a teen is the last thing you want from your girlfriend. If your partner is inattentive, mechanical or emotionless in the sack, her experience prior to you built that behavior. That doesn't make it okay; be warned that she might have some issues to deal with.
6- She questions your thoughtful actions
Every man likes to think that when he goes out of his way to be thoughtful, it will be appreciated. If you bring home flowers and are thought to have done something wrong, or your attentiveness is interpreted as trying to make amends for something you have done, chances are your girlfriend has already made up her mind how she wants to feel. It's a sure-fire sign of excess baggage.
7- She refuses to discuss her past
Relationships work quid pro quo on every front. Show me yours and I'll show you mine. If your girlfriend refuses to ask (or tell) about her past, it is because she fears the answers she may get (or give). Past relationships are touchy subjects, but they don't have to be. If she can't roll with the punches, perhaps she's hiding something, or lugging around fear about the truth.
8- She avoids her family
The heaviest baggage of all doesn't necessarily need to be from past relationships. If your girl speaks less-than-favorably about her parents, her family life or her siblings, or if she doesn't spend any time with them, correspond with them or show interest in them, the resulting psychology of a poor home environment can be a troublesome one.
9- She doesn't seem to have long-term friends
When a woman is interested in changing a pattern of behavior, often her first course of action is to shed off all ties to the lifestyle. It usually starts with the friends. If your girlfriend has no friends, keeps temporary relationships, or is relatively untraceable to a social past, it is likely that she has a story to tell.
beware of excess baggage...
No amount of worrying about it will change the reality that your girlfriend's past experiences are weighing down her experiences with you. Women need the reminder that life is better on the other side of the fence, and you ought to be the guy to show her that.
Observing these signs in a woman does not guarantee she has emotional baggage, but it does raise suspicions. Suggest that your girlfriend conquer her roadblocks. It's cheesy, yeah, but women need to love themselves before they can love you.
Some women are of the free variety -- free to act, free to think and, most importantly, free of a sordid history that may be putting up emotional roadblocks. They are the women we men can learn to be more brazen from.
Others are of the reserved variety -- reserved with their actions and their opinions, reserved as to the limits of their adventuresome spirit, and reserved with their displays of affection. These are the women we learn to be polite and courteous from.
Then there's the girl next door. She's all the things we want her to be -- sweet, honest, pretty, wholesome, and, hidden under a shroud of good manners, dirty and sexual. The perfect woman to settle down with.
But wait a minute... she's acting strange.
You thought she was perfect, but why is she in the bedroom crying on the phone with her mother? Is that the silent treatment? Yes it is, and you don't know why.
Your perfect girlfriend, the one you've been waiting all this time for, may be carrying around some extra emotional baggage. Here are some hints to recognizing it.
1- She has unexplained phone conversations
You're home from work and she's on the telephone having an emotional jam session with her next of kin. Worse yet, she won't tell you what it was about. Is she planning a party for you? Not bloody likely -- she's just sorting through the crap that you don't know about.
2- She has strange habits
Compulsivity is the product of unchecked emotion -- if she smokes, eats to excess, habitually sleeps late, drinks like a fish, or shows signs of being obsessive, she's got some junk in the emotional trunk. Don't assume that these patterned behaviors mean she's got problems. She may be looking at your magazine collection and thinking the same thing, but a woman who doesn't take care of herself has issues of esteem that could be red flags for the relationship.
3- She fails to share emotions
For any relationship to move along towards something serious, it is inevitable that you will be going mano a mano with her about the way you feel. If conversations from the heart result in her bottling up, or worse yet, having to get away from you, she likely has some issues to work out before she can really give herself to you. If your emotional outbursts are repellant to your girlfriend, she's likely got something else on her mind.
She never lets you out of her sight and she ain't got no friends.
4- She clings to you like flypaper
The woman for you will let you be you, even when she's standing right next to you. If your lady friend is micromanaging your life and watching your every move, chances are she's been burned, and has some emotional healing to do.
5- You have emotionally vacant sex
The noncommittal, no-strings-attached sex you dreamed of as a teen is the last thing you want from your girlfriend. If your partner is inattentive, mechanical or emotionless in the sack, her experience prior to you built that behavior. That doesn't make it okay; be warned that she might have some issues to deal with.
6- She questions your thoughtful actions
Every man likes to think that when he goes out of his way to be thoughtful, it will be appreciated. If you bring home flowers and are thought to have done something wrong, or your attentiveness is interpreted as trying to make amends for something you have done, chances are your girlfriend has already made up her mind how she wants to feel. It's a sure-fire sign of excess baggage.
7- She refuses to discuss her past
Relationships work quid pro quo on every front. Show me yours and I'll show you mine. If your girlfriend refuses to ask (or tell) about her past, it is because she fears the answers she may get (or give). Past relationships are touchy subjects, but they don't have to be. If she can't roll with the punches, perhaps she's hiding something, or lugging around fear about the truth.
8- She avoids her family
The heaviest baggage of all doesn't necessarily need to be from past relationships. If your girl speaks less-than-favorably about her parents, her family life or her siblings, or if she doesn't spend any time with them, correspond with them or show interest in them, the resulting psychology of a poor home environment can be a troublesome one.
9- She doesn't seem to have long-term friends
When a woman is interested in changing a pattern of behavior, often her first course of action is to shed off all ties to the lifestyle. It usually starts with the friends. If your girlfriend has no friends, keeps temporary relationships, or is relatively untraceable to a social past, it is likely that she has a story to tell.
beware of excess baggage...
No amount of worrying about it will change the reality that your girlfriend's past experiences are weighing down her experiences with you. Women need the reminder that life is better on the other side of the fence, and you ought to be the guy to show her that.
Observing these signs in a woman does not guarantee she has emotional baggage, but it does raise suspicions. Suggest that your girlfriend conquer her roadblocks. It's cheesy, yeah, but women need to love themselves before they can love you.
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