4 u Broke and/or cheap Bro's- Turning Welch's Into Wine In 48 Hours

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Turning Welch's Into Wine In 48 Hours

I'm taking the last sip of home-brewed purple liquid. It's sweet yet balanced, fizzy yet quenching, smooth yet these words look a bit blurry. It tastes like a dangerously well-mixed drink. And just 48 short hours ago, it was Welch's.
Yes, good old Welch's Concord Grape Juice. And something about enjoying the beverage in such an adult manner makes my inner child weep.
I haven't touched the stuff since I was 10. Welch's, along with pretty much any processed fruit juice, is just too sugary for me to enjoy. Beyond a stiff margarita, I've found the world of frou frou mixed drinks have been lost on my palate. I don't judge those of you who enjoy all those syrupy, rum-infused rainbows garnished with alcohol, but...I take that back. I do judge you. I'm a booze, juice, food and general topics snob.
But I had to test the claims of Spike Your Juice, a yeast-based kit that ferments any 100% fruit juice, so long as it has 20G of sugar or more per serving, into an alcoholic brew with anywhere from 4-14% ABV. That puts the resulting potency somewhere between beer and wine. With a healthy 30G of sugar per serving, Welch's is a prime candidate for home fermentation.
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You add a tiny yeast packet—about the same amount you might add to a bread-loaf of dough—to a 64 oz bottle of juice at room temperature. You ditch the normal cap for an included rubber stopper—one that allows gas to escape the bottle while otherwise keeping an airtight seal. And then you wait.
Apparently, this fast fermentation process is borrowed from the production of Federweißer, a German grape-based booze. Indeed, you can even make an authentic Federweißer with the kit.
Yeast munches on both the fructose and sucrose, then it expels alcohol along with CO2. My bottle of Welch's, as it transcended its forefathers through its alcoholic metamorphosis, fizzed after a bit of waiting. Then, after 24 hours, it bubbled like that slime from Ghostbusters 2.
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The substance spilled out the airlock cap onto my counter, rebelling from its family-friendly roots with a new identity all its own.
What had I done?
"I swear you're making poison," my wife warns. I pretend I'm not afraid.
Another day later, and the juice had calmed down, still bubbling incessantly, but with the micro bubbles of champagne rather than the soapy bubbles of painful sequels.
Just an hour ago, I decided to pour a bit on the rocks since it fermented at room temperature. I tentatively sipped, expecting something that I could barely swallow. Instead, I was brought back to my childhood. Grape freezepops, grape sodas, grape jelly...but with a kick at the end. I wouldn't call it a burn, but a microbrew-like presence of alcohol behind the flavor.
After 2 1/2 glasses, it makes for a quick, harsh buzz—akin to the helmet of weight you get around your brow from vodka. There's no way this is 4% ABV—I'd guess it's closer to 8 or 10%.

I don't think I could drink the stuff every day. But I will say this: If Spike Your Juice were around during my childhood, I fear that Welch's concord grape could have had an entirely different connotation. Plus there's no way I'd have ever grown this tall.
Now whoever figures out how to spike peanut butter will be my personal savior. [Spike Your Juice]
Send an email to Mark Wilson, the author of this post, at mark@gizmodo.com.
 
for some reason i'd rather home-brew beer even though I like wine better than beer....it just seems like beer would be easier to make drinkable.
 
LOL! I was talking about homebrewed wine that I make (Tej and a Cab) two weeks ago on here and niggas were telling me I lying and I didn't know what I was talking about.

I told you all you need is 2 clean glass jugs, some vinters/wine makers yeast, and a cup of sugar.

:lol:
 
And all all this time, Rotschild and the like have been getting you for $XXX on a botttle. But I do have to admit, there process and selection is impeccable.

There's a warehouse type wine/spirit/beer store + distributor about 20 miles outside of DC called Corridor (If you live in Laurel, it' right before the BW Parkway on 198).
http://www.wineaccess.com/store/corridorwine/index.html

The place is easily about 20,000 sq ft and they they have a ridiculous selection of alcohol and cigars. If they don't have it - they can special order it for you.

Since they also function as a distributor, when you start buying things by the case/box load they knock the price down into the sub-retail level (Cigars too - they'll instantly take 10% off if you buy a box).
You don't get as good a pricing as say a Bar for tax reasons, but you pay much less than full retail.

I was there 2 weeks ago looking at this for Labor Day (maybe). They told me if I buy a case, they'll take 12% off the price.
I looked back at the sales agent and :lol::lol::lol:

I'm already jumping out the window just thinking about buying ONE bottle of Rothschild.



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Oh and NO(!) they don't carry Ace of Spades. When you ask them, they immediately know you don't know shit and almost laugh in your face.

But if you do want it - they will order it for you - after telling you you're a bit of a fool for buying repackaged mid-grade champagne that goes for 75-100 Euro a bottle in France.

But if you want to pay $350+ retail, they're more than happy to charge you that.

:lol:
 
LOL! I was talking about homebrewed wine two weeks ago on here and niggas were telling me I lying and I didn't know what I was talking about.

I told you all you need is 2 clean glass jugs, some vinters/wine makers yeast, and a cup of sugar.

:lol:

no i think they were jus saying ur full of shit cuz at 1 point u said u buy $3000 worth of wholesale liquor to stock ur crib every few months and the next day u sayin u make jailhouse wine from sugar, yeast, fermented applejuice and shit.
 
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i wonder what would happen if you leave it for the traditional 21 days it takes to make wine.
 
no i think they were jus saying ur full of shit cuz at 1 point u said u buy $3000 worth of wholesale liquor to stock ur crib every few months and the next day u sayin u make jailhouse wine from sugar, yeast, fermented applejuice and shit.

Yeah, they had their storylines and facts all twisted up. Typical for BGOL. :smh:

I buy $2,000-3,000 once a YEAR and stock out the bar. Beer, Wine, Liquor, Mixers.

It just makes sense. Total up what you spend all year at the bar, lounge, club, buying bottle by bottle with no discount and you see you end up paying the same if not MORE throughout the year.

I could make my own Whiskey adn Scotch. It's not very hard, but fuck if I'm going to be aging Scotch and Whiskey in my house for 12 years. :lol:

I make wine on occasion because certain things you cannot buy, like Tej. Tej isn't imported by mass distributors. You have to find an ethnic/wine store distributor - which I haven't yet. (The same applied to Absinthe until the released the ban. St. Germain was hard to find for awhile too).

Making homemade wine is just something I do for fun. I experiment to see what I can come up with.


In the winter I make German Gluehwein. Substitute honey for sugar. Add a half teaspoon of spice and cloves. A little lemon peel/zest. :dance:
 
Some of you cats did some years in the joint, I'm convinced.:lol::lol::lol::lol:

Man, we used to make Cabin Hooch @ summer camp when I was a kid.

We'd all take all our Sipps and Juicy Juice Grape juice boxes, steal a pitcher from the Mess Hall, and pour them all in. Add about 1 packet of sugar from the coffee room for each box. Add a pinch of bakers yeast from the kitchen. Stir it. Then we'd seal the top with Saran Wrap and stick a bendy straw through the wrap and bend it down, and put a little tissue paper filter over the end so the gas could escape but no spores could enter.

We'd hide the pitcher under the Cabin and let it ferment for 2 weeks. The last night of camp someone would crawl under and pull it out. We'd invite a few select girls from the Girls Cabins and tell them to meet us down at the beach after 12.

Then we start a small campfire and have ourselves a party.
13-16 year old niggas in the middle of the woods of Wading River, listening to LL Cool J and Stetasonic on Bobby Roses' JVC boombox getting ripped with chicks "making out" and dry humping.

Motherfuckers would be happy as shit getting to second and third base. Talking about, "Nah, you didn't finger pop Tanisha! Lemme smell your fingers then if you did."

Ah shit man. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and do that shit just one more time. Best summers of my young life. :lol:

Thank you Sipps and Juicey Juice. :lol:
 
we did this in Saudi back in the day. Everytime we were on KP duty, we were instructed to come back with as many boxes of juice we could get.
 
we did this in Saudi back in the day. Everytime we were on KP duty, we were instructed to come back with as many boxes of juice we could get.

:)

My friend over in Afghanistan says they use Cranberry, a bit of orange, and grape juice.
Basically any high sugar content juice can be made into wine.
 
Years ago, people back home used to make wine out of all sorts of fruit, including tomatoes. This is to say nothing about the hundreds of local liquors that are potent, and based on many roots and concoctions.
 
Whoever wrote that article is annoying. He needs to learn to stick to the instructions instead of all of his unnecessary talking.
 
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