10 Things we always do in bed

Duece

Rising Star
BGOL Investor
The Things We Always Do in Bed

Doesn't necessarily have to be 10 but describe some of your skills or routines when you get ready and are having sex. Be graphic in your descriptions, describe what you do well and what you do often.


no I'm not going first....

ok ready, GO
 
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#1....... fall asleep wit my dick in you
#2 wake up fucking you!
#3 if you dont wanna let me in ......... i jack off right there in front of you....buss- a- nut on ya ass and roll over and go to sleep!
forest-whitaker-puts-down-his-ishieldi-20070412110140689.jpg
 
Doesn't necessarily have to be 10 but describe some of your skills or routines when you get ready and are having sex. Be graphic in your descriptions, describe what you do well and what you do often.


no I'm not going first....

ok ready, GO

:lol: @ "no, I'm not going first..."

1. Sensual kisses on the month, neck, shoulders and back...I love showering a man with my tongue and soft lips as a slight tease and sign of affection during foreplay.

2. Wetting my fingertips with my pussy juice and slowly rubbing my clitoris as my man kisses me and/or licks different parts of my body...I like to help him out and show him I know what makes me feel good

3. Whispering in his ear and/or telling him softly how bad I can't wait for it...usually, at this point, I'm ridiculously wet, so I am just dying to feel his manhood inside of me...

4. I MUST ride him, when we're having sex...if I see he may finish soon, I'll usually let him know, via eye expression and by telling him, that I want to ride him. I never ask, but just do it. He loves being told what to do :lol:

5. Before we even start sex, I usually either tease him or let him bust one off by performing some serious oral sex on him. I don't get to dirty, but I'll make some moans and make sure it's nice and wet. Sometimes, I'll even titty fuck him (can't believe I said titty fuck just now...lol) and let him cum all over my breasts, as he loves to see it on my breasts.

6, 7, 8, 9 and 10 all include how much verbal and facial expression I give during our different positions... I need to let him know what he is or isn't doing right...there's no better way for him to learn, if I don't help him out...
 
first comes the foreplay, then i like to tease her for 10 mins or so, next i wanna look at it, (smell it and inhale it)and last but not least i gots to LICK IT before i STICK IT!!!!
 
my tool bag is filled with many different things I bring to bear with my partner. There no one thing I do everytime...except backshots of course.:cool:

Tools of the trade are inclusive of, but not limited to:

toe sucking
pussy, ass(clean only:hmm:) licking (why lie?)
ear nibbling
neck licking
kisses along the spine/back from neck all the way down
hair pulling
light choking/spanking (know your partner)
dirty talking (know your partner)

What can I say? I'm a freak. Just like the rest of you.
 
:lol: @ "no, I'm not going first..."

1. Sensual kisses on the month, neck, shoulders and back...I love showering a man with my tongue and soft lips as a slight tease and sign of affection during foreplay.

2. Wetting my fingertips with my pussy juice and slowly rubbing my clitoris as my man kisses me and/or licks different parts of my body...I like to help him out and show him I know what makes me feel good

3. Whispering in his ear and/or telling him softly how bad I can't wait for it...usually, at this point, I'm ridiculously wet, so I am just dying to feel his manhood inside of me...

4. I MUST ride him, when we're having sex...if I see he may finish soon, I'll usually let him know, via eye expression and by telling him, that I want to ride him. I never ask, but just do it. He loves being told what to do :lol:

5. Before we even start sex, I usually either tease him or let him bust one off by performing some serious oral sex on him. I don't get to dirty, but I'll make some moans and make sure it's nice and wet. Sometimes, I'll even titty fuck him (can't believe I said titty fuck just now...lol) and let him cum all over my breasts, as he loves to see it on my breasts.

6, 7, 8, 9 and 10 all include how much verbal and facial expression I give during our different positions... I need to let him know what he is or isn't doing right...there's no better way for him to learn, if I don't help him out...




I like 1 thru 5 alot, I really like your style, I really like to kiss, plus I love to see woman touch herself and a woman who is not afraid to tell me just how she wants it and doesn't have a probably being graphic and explicit about it. I love to get riode. Thats what its made for, getting a hand full of breasts, and a wet pussy juice drenched finger in my mouth while getting rode is something I love ... and love like a mothafucka.

I dont cum from oral sex, it just makes me really really hard. Plus I spend more time groping the chick's breast while getting oral than even focusing on the head. Plus I love to get bit, so I'm constantly telling girls to bite me.

6 thru 10 is great. Good sex is 2 person deal and person who is open about what they like and don't like has better sex overall IMO.
 
my tool bag is filled with many different things I bring to bear with my partner. There no one thing I do everytime...except backshots of course.:cool:

Tools of the trade are inclusive of, but not limited to:

toe sucking
pussy, ass(clean only:hmm:) licking (why lie?)
ear nibbling
neck licking
kisses along the spine/back from neck all the way down
hair pulling
light choking/spanking (know your partner)
dirty talking (know your partner)

What can I say? I'm a freak. Just like the rest of you.

:D eh hem so uhmm did I ever tell you that I've got a lot of hair ;)
And who said I was a freak :eek: Who you been talkin to :cool:








@ Duece your are quite welcome dear
 
1. Doin' backflips while yellin' "Spartaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!" if the pussy is good

2. After i nutt i ask "what's Papa John's phone number? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!"

3. I tried to hit it from the back and I whispered in her ear "Not going anywhere for a while?!!!?" and then i threw her a Snickers bar

4. When i nutt i yell out 3 things that fuck up the mood and they are

"Can't get enough of that sugar criiiiiiiiiiiiiiisp!!!!!!!!"

"Sega!!!!"

"Wipe me down.....Ohhhhhhhhh fuck...not yet...... got-damnit!!!!!!"

5. I come in the bedroom with a glittery robe on that has "Nature Boy" wrote on the back....this almost worked until i put my girl in the figure four leglock while pulling on the bedpost for more leverage.

6. A girl tells me "Ohhhhhhhh Big Dunkey Kong you so good and strong" I fucked up and told her "Girl I'm not just strong....I'm Army strong"

7. I'll start talkin' shit and then fall asleep in mid sentence like Grandpa Simpson.

8. I'll be eatin' the pussy and then the girl'll get mad when i say her stuff tastes like Stove Top Stuffing......why? That shit is good!!!

9. I start beating her over the head with my dick while singing the theme from Cheers....she normally bites my shit after i sing the "Making your way in the world todaaaaaaaaay!!"

10. Just bein' me i guess.....some come back some don't....but the ones who do come back fix me French Toast with "Big Dunkey Kong" spelled out in strawberry syrup.
 
1. Doin' backflips while yellin' "Spartaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!" if the pussy is good

2. After i nutt i ask "what's Papa John's phone number? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!"

3. I tried to hit it from the back and I whispered in her ear "Not going anywhere for a while?!!!?" and then i threw her a Snickers bar

4. When i nutt i yell out 3 things that fuck up the mood and they are

"Can't get enough of that sugar criiiiiiiiiiiiiiisp!!!!!!!!"

"Sega!!!!"

"Wipe me down.....Ohhhhhhhhh fuck...not yet...... got-damnit!!!!!!"

5. I come in the bedroom with a glittery robe on that has "Nature Boy" wrote on the back....this almost worked until i put my girl in the figure four leglock while pulling on the bedpost for more leverage.

6. A girl tells me "Ohhhhhhhh Big Dunkey Kong you so good and strong" I fucked up and told her "Girl I'm not just strong....I'm Army strong"

7. I'll start talkin' shit and then fall asleep in mid sentence like Grandpa Simpson.

8. I'll be eatin' the pussy and then the girl'll get mad when i say her stuff tastes like Stove Top Stuffing......why? That shit is good!!!

9. I start beating her over the head with my dick while singing the theme from Cheers....she normally bites my shit after i sing the "Making your way in the world todaaaaaaaaay!!"

10. Just bein' me i guess.....some come back some don't....but the ones who do come back fix me French Toast with "Big Dunkey Kong" spelled out in strawberry syrup.


:roflmao:
 
1. Doin' backflips while yellin' "Spartaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!" if the pussy is good

2. After i nutt i ask "what's Papa John's phone number? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!"

3. I tried to hit it from the back and I whispered in her ear "Not going anywhere for a while?!!!?" and then i threw her a Snickers bar

4. When i nutt i yell out 3 things that fuck up the mood and they are

"Can't get enough of that sugar criiiiiiiiiiiiiiisp!!!!!!!!"

"Sega!!!!"

"Wipe me down.....Ohhhhhhhhh fuck...not yet...... got-damnit!!!!!!"

5. I come in the bedroom with a glittery robe on that has "Nature Boy" wrote on the back....this almost worked until i put my girl in the figure four leglock while pulling on the bedpost for more leverage.

6. A girl tells me "Ohhhhhhhh Big Dunkey Kong you so good and strong" I fucked up and told her "Girl I'm not just strong....I'm Army strong"

7. I'll start talkin' shit and then fall asleep in mid sentence like Grandpa Simpson.

8. I'll be eatin' the pussy and then the girl'll get mad when i say her stuff tastes like Stove Top Stuffing......why? That shit is good!!!

9. I start beating her over the head with my dick while singing the theme from Cheers....she normally bites my shit after i sing the "Making your way in the world todaaaaaaaaay!!"

10. Just bein' me i guess.....some come back some don't....but the ones who do come back fix me French Toast with "Big Dunkey Kong" spelled out in strawberry syrup.


Oh my goodness you got my side hurting me man :lol::lol::lol:
 
1. Doin' backflips while yellin' "Spartaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!" if the pussy is good

2. After i nutt i ask "what's Papa John's phone number? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!"

3. I tried to hit it from the back and I whispered in her ear "Not going anywhere for a while?!!!?" and then i threw her a Snickers bar

4. When i nutt i yell out 3 things that fuck up the mood and they are

"Can't get enough of that sugar criiiiiiiiiiiiiiisp!!!!!!!!"

"Sega!!!!"

"Wipe me down.....Ohhhhhhhhh fuck...not yet...... got-damnit!!!!!!"

5. I come in the bedroom with a glittery robe on that has "Nature Boy" wrote on the back....this almost worked until i put my girl in the figure four leglock while pulling on the bedpost for more leverage.

6. A girl tells me "Ohhhhhhhh Big Dunkey Kong you so good and strong" I fucked up and told her "Girl I'm not just strong....I'm Army strong"

7. I'll start talkin' shit and then fall asleep in mid sentence like Grandpa Simpson.

8. I'll be eatin' the pussy and then the girl'll get mad when i say her stuff tastes like Stove Top Stuffing......why? That shit is good!!!

9. I start beating her over the head with my dick while singing the theme from Cheers....she normally bites my shit after i sing the "Making your way in the world todaaaaaaaaay!!"

10. Just bein' me i guess.....some come back some don't....but the ones who do come back fix me French Toast with "Big Dunkey Kong" spelled out in strawberry syrup.
:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:
 
Wow. . there is some good ones so far. :yes:

Mine are, in no particular order:

* Anticipating the moment when the dick goes in for the first time. I try to make that first stroke last forever.
* Squeezing my muscles real tight. .Sometimes in the midst of feeling really good I forget to squeeze, but most of the time I squeeze the dick really tight.
* I like my nipples to be bit and my breast squeezed really hard.
* Hitting it of from the back is a requirement. . .
* Constantly saying nasty shit in your ear, while you're on top. Not talking too much.. . but everyone once in a while saying something like. . "Fuck me harder baby" or "Ooo. . I love your dick" or "Beat my pussy up" :D
*When I'm about to come, I know I say "Oh shit" like 5 times. .lol. If he's on top and I'm coming. .I squeeze my legs around him and try to push him as deep as possible. If I'm coming really hard my breathing will probably be crazy as well.
* I love to kiss during sex. . I like to suck on his lips, neck, etc.
* I love to watch a man's face while I'm giving head. . such a turn on.
* I love to have my ass slapped. . I will grab your hand and slap with your hand . . just to hint.

Probably more. . . that's just a few lol
 
Wow. . there is some good ones so far. :yes:

Mine are, in no particular order:

* Anticipating the moment when the dick goes in for the first time. I try to make that first stroke last forever.
* Squeezing my muscles real tight. .Sometimes in the midst of feeling really good I forget to squeeze, but most of the time I squeeze the dick really tight.
* I like my nipples to be bit and my breast squeezed really hard.
* Hitting it of from the back is a requirement. . .
* Constantly saying nasty shit in your ear, while you're on top. Not talking too much.. . but everyone once in a while saying something like. . "Fuck me harder baby" or "Ooo. . I love your dick" or "Beat my pussy up" :D
*When I'm about to come, I know I say "Oh shit" like 5 times. .lol. If he's on top and I'm coming. .I squeeze my legs around him and try to push him as deep as possible. If I'm coming really hard my breathing will probably be crazy as well.
* I love to kiss during sex. . I like to suck on his lips, neck, etc.
* I love to watch a man's face while I'm giving head. . such a turn on.
* I love to have my ass slapped. . I will grab your hand and slap with your hand . . just to hint.

Probably more. . . that's just a few lol

well damn.
 
my tool bag is filled with many different things I bring to bear with my partner. There no one thing I do everytime...except backshots of course.:cool:

Tools of the trade are inclusive of, but not limited to:

toe sucking
pussy, ass(clean only:hmm:) licking (why lie?)
ear nibbling
neck licking
kisses along the spine/back from neck all the way down
hair pulling
light choking/spanking (know your partner)
dirty talking (know your partner)

What can I say? I'm a freak. Just like the rest of you.

everything he said except the light choking, i just straight up chokes the shit outta woman. just jokes, no choking for me but i'm not knocking him or anybody for it.

all your parenthesis' remarks were on point, i fucking love it.


p.s. - if the pussy is good i bust fast, sleep hard than wake up ready to "rock and roll" and if the head is "THE BOMB" ahe can get a bill paid:dance:
 
Wow. . there is some good ones so far. :yes:

Mine are, in no particular order:

* Anticipating the moment when the dick goes in for the first time. I try to make that first stroke last forever.
* Squeezing my muscles real tight. .Sometimes in the midst of feeling really good I forget to squeeze, but most of the time I squeeze the dick really tight.
* I like my nipples to be bit and my breast squeezed really hard.
* Hitting it of from the back is a requirement. . .
* Constantly saying nasty shit in your ear, while you're on top. Not talking too much.. . but everyone once in a while saying something like. . "Fuck me harder baby" or "Ooo. . I love your dick" or "Beat my pussy up" :D
*When I'm about to come, I know I say "Oh shit" like 5 times. .lol. If he's on top and I'm coming. .I squeeze my legs around him and try to push him as deep as possible. If I'm coming really hard my breathing will probably be crazy as well.
* I love to kiss during sex. . I like to suck on his lips, neck, etc.
* I love to watch a man's face while I'm giving head. . such a turn on.
* I love to have my ass slapped. . I will grab your hand and slap with your hand . . just to hint.

Probably more. . . that's just a few lol

I'll slap an ass into the next area code and then deny the collect call.....Lady we need to chill.....get some Sprite and .......damn what's Papa John's phone number again?
 
Wow. . there is some good ones so far. :yes:

Mine are, in no particular order:

* Anticipating the moment when the dick goes in for the first time. I try to make that first stroke last forever.
* Squeezing my muscles real tight. .Sometimes in the midst of feeling really good I forget to squeeze, but most of the time I squeeze the dick really tight.
* I like my nipples to be bit and my breast squeezed really hard.
* Hitting it of from the back is a requirement. . .
* Constantly saying nasty shit in your ear, while you're on top. Not talking too much.. . but everyone once in a while saying something like. . "Fuck me harder baby" or "Ooo. . I love your dick" or "Beat my pussy up" :D
*When I'm about to come, I know I say "Oh shit" like 5 times. .lol. If he's on top and I'm coming. .I squeeze my legs around him and try to push him as deep as possible. If I'm coming really hard my breathing will probably be crazy as well.
* I love to kiss during sex. . I like to suck on his lips, neck, etc.
* I love to watch a man's face while I'm giving head. . such a turn on.
* I love to have my ass slapped. . I will grab your hand and slap with your hand . . just to hint.

Probably more. . . that's just a few lol

Oh and last time i had my dick squeezed by pussy muscles i sounded like a hybrid or Pattli Labelle and Mystikal. Do yo' thang gurl!!!!
 
I'll slap an ass into the next area code and then deny the collect call.....Lady we need to chill.....get some Sprite and .......damn what's Papa John's phone number again?

Oh and last time i had my dick squeezed by pussy muscles i sounded like a hybrid or Pattli Labelle and Mystikal. Do yo' thang gurl!!!!

:eek::eek:....:lol::lol::lol: man stop :lol::lol: you are killin me man. :roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

You are hilarious...:lol::lol:




Peace
 
I doubt that I have 5 things that I always do. There are a few positions I like, especially me on top...kinda misionary, but her legs back over her head..sorta bent in half. Other than that, one thing I can COUNT ON is to start drifitng off mentally. I can be a million miles away, mentally, and still be strokin away. I damn near have to fight to keep my mind on what I'm doing, unless it's someone new...it' a curse.
 
It all really depends on the one I'm with... But there are no drastic changes...

-I love to grab the pecs... like he's on top and his shoulders are flexed... the shoulder and pectoral muscles look soo good I can't help but grab them! :D

-When me and my ex would go at it and he's be almost ready to come, grab his ass!!! He loved that, I tried to do that as often as possible :yes:

-If i'm on top, I lift his hands above his head so he can't touch me! I like to do that! :D

-While he's hitting it from the back, squeeze my muscles tight.

-I like to have my hair pulled, so if its real good and he hasn't done it, I'll put my own hands in my hair...

Damn... I might have to come back and finish this list...
 
1. Make sure place is clean, smells good, candles lit, and music is on.

2. run her a nice bubble bath, (candles in the bathroom too) take the time to wash her up myself, meanwhile laying something sexy out on the bed for her to put on and a drink of her choice on the night stand

3. While she is getting dressed and sipping on her drink, im in the shower, get out, dont dry off, walk out into the bedroom with body still dripping with water.

4. start with nibbling on the ear, working my way to her mouth, then slowly down to her neck, making sure to like that ticklish spot around the colar bone.

5. Drip warm chocolate over her breasts and a small trail leading down to the cradle of life. Taking my time to make sure i get every bit of it off with my tounge.

6. Tie her hand to the head board. put her legs on my shoulders and commence to burrying my face between her thighs until i feel that warm gush of fluid that signifies her sexual erruption.

7. untie her, flip her over in the doggy style and repeat #6 from da back, then rubbing the head of my dick over her clit and between her pussy lips with the tip teasing the hole. and just when she dont expect it, slide all the way in for that first stroke.

8. start hitting it from da back slow, gradually picking up the pace until the distinct sound of that ass claping on my dick is prevelant in the room, this is when i grab her hair, pulling her head slightly up and back in sync with each stroke ensuring she has no choice but to throw that ass back.

9. Have her get on top to ride while im sitting up, so i can squeeze them ass cheeks and suck on her nipples at the same time, occasional whispering in her ear about how good and wet the pussy is.

10 Without seperating our bodies, flip her over on her back, and do figure 8's in da pussy, alternating between long and short strokes, making sure no parts of her womb are untouched, then watching the sheer look of ectasy on her face as she cums all over my dick. collapsing on top of her with my arms under her shoulders still pulling myself deep inside until we catch our breath to do it all over again...... in the kitchen.

And no, i dont alwasy do this, atleast not all of it.
 
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1. Doin' backflips while yellin' "Spartaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!" if the pussy is good

2. After i nutt i ask "what's Papa John's phone number? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!"

3. I tried to hit it from the back and I whispered in her ear "Not going anywhere for a while?!!!?" and then i threw her a Snickers bar

4. When i nutt i yell out 3 things that fuck up the mood and they are

"Can't get enough of that sugar criiiiiiiiiiiiiiisp!!!!!!!!"

"Sega!!!!"

"Wipe me down.....Ohhhhhhhhh fuck...not yet...... got-damnit!!!!!!"

5. I come in the bedroom with a glittery robe on that has "Nature Boy" wrote on the back....this almost worked until i put my girl in the figure four leglock while pulling on the bedpost for more leverage.

6. A girl tells me "Ohhhhhhhh Big Dunkey Kong you so good and strong" I fucked up and told her "Girl I'm not just strong....I'm Army strong"

7. I'll start talkin' shit and then fall asleep in mid sentence like Grandpa Simpson.

8. I'll be eatin' the pussy and then the girl'll get mad when i say her stuff tastes like Stove Top Stuffing......why? That shit is good!!!

9. I start beating her over the head with my dick while singing the theme from Cheers....she normally bites my shit after i sing the "Making your way in the world todaaaaaaaaay!!"

10. Just bein' me i guess.....some come back some don't....but the ones who do come back fix me French Toast with "Big Dunkey Kong" spelled out in strawberry syrup.

:roflmao:

You are a hott mess. And whats really crazy is that I truly believe you on at least half of this shit.
 
1. Make sure place is clean, smells good, candles lit, and music is on.

2. run her a nice bubble bath, (candles in the bathroom too) take the time to wash her up myself, meanwhile laying something sexy out on the bed for her to put on and a drink of her choice on the night stand

3. While she is getting dressed and sipping on her drink, im in the shower, get out, dont dry off, walk out into the bedroom with body still dripping with water.

4. start with nibbling on the ear, working my way to her mouth, then slowly down to her neck, making sure to like that ticklish spot around the colar bone.

5. Drip warm chocolate over her breasts and a small trail leading down to the cradle of life. Taking my time to make sure i get every bit of it off with my tounge.

6. Tie her hand to the head board. put her legs on my shoulders and commence to burrying my face between her thighs until i feel that warm gush of fluid that signifies her sexual erruption.

7. untie her, flip her over in the doggy style and repeat #6 from da back, then rubbing the head of my dick over her clit and between her pussy lips with the tip teasing the hole. and just when she dont expect it, slide all the way in for that first stroke.

8. start hitting it from da back slow, gradually picking up the pace until the distinct sound of that ass claping on my dick is prevelant in the room, this is when i grab her hair, pulling her head slightly up and back in sync with each stroke ensuring she has no choice but to throw that ass back.

9. Have her get on top to ride while im sitting up, so i can squeeze them ass cheeks and suck on her nipples at the same time, occasional whispering in her ear about how good and wet the pussy is.

10 Without seperating our bodies, flip her over on her back, and do figure 8's in da pussy, alternating between long and short strokes, making sure no parts of her womb are untouched, then watching the sheer look of ectasy on her face as she cums all over my dick. collapsing on top of her with my arms under her shoulders still pulling myself deep inside until we catch our breath to do it all over again...... in the kitchen.

And no, i dont alwasy do this, atleast not all of it.

Geez! :wepraise:
 
Wow. . there is some good ones so far. :yes:

Mine are, in no particular order:

* Anticipating the moment when the dick goes in for the first time. I try to make that first stroke last forever.
* Squeezing my muscles real tight. .Sometimes in the midst of feeling really good I forget to squeeze, but most of the time I squeeze the dick really tight.
* I like my nipples to be bit and my breast squeezed really hard.
* Hitting it of from the back is a requirement. . .
* Constantly saying nasty shit in your ear, while you're on top. Not talking too much.. . but everyone once in a while saying something like. . "Fuck me harder baby" or "Ooo. . I love your dick" or "Beat my pussy up" :D
*When I'm about to come, I know I say "Oh shit" like 5 times. .lol. If he's on top and I'm coming. .I squeeze my legs around him and try to push him as deep as possible. If I'm coming really hard my breathing will probably be crazy as well.
* I love to kiss during sex. . I like to suck on his lips, neck, etc.
* I love to watch a man's face while I'm giving head. . such a turn on.
* I love to have my ass slapped. . I will grab your hand and slap with your hand . . just to hint.

Probably more. . . that's just a few lol

That shit is poetry!
 
1. Doin' backflips while yellin' "Spartaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!" if the pussy is good

2. After i nutt i ask "what's Papa John's phone number? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!"

3. I tried to hit it from the back and I whispered in her ear "Not going anywhere for a while?!!!?" and then i threw her a Snickers bar

4. When i nutt i yell out 3 things that fuck up the mood and they are

"Can't get enough of that sugar criiiiiiiiiiiiiiisp!!!!!!!!"

"Sega!!!!"

"Wipe me down.....Ohhhhhhhhh fuck...not yet...... got-damnit!!!!!!"

5. I come in the bedroom with a glittery robe on that has "Nature Boy" wrote on the back....this almost worked until i put my girl in the figure four leglock while pulling on the bedpost for more leverage.

6. A girl tells me "Ohhhhhhhh Big Dunkey Kong you so good and strong" I fucked up and told her "Girl I'm not just strong....I'm Army strong"

7. I'll start talkin' shit and then fall asleep in mid sentence like Grandpa Simpson.

8. I'll be eatin' the pussy and then the girl'll get mad when i say her stuff tastes like Stove Top Stuffing......why? That shit is good!!!

9. I start beating her over the head with my dick while singing the theme from Cheers....she normally bites my shit after i sing the "Making your way in the world todaaaaaaaaay!!"

10. Just bein' me i guess.....some come back some don't....but the ones who do come back fix me French Toast with "Big Dunkey Kong" spelled out in strawberry syrup.

dude,
WHO DA FUCK ARE YOU??

..and where are u performing next?


:roflmao:




www.rkellyisguilty.com
 
my tool bag is filled with many different things I bring to bear with my partner. There no one thing I do everytime...

True enough...the only thing that is consistent is me getting a nut...
 
my tool bag is filled with many different things I bring to bear with my partner. There no one thing I do everytime...except backshots of course.:cool:

Tools of the trade are inclusive of, but not limited to:

toe sucking
pussy, ass(clean only:hmm:) licking (why lie?)
ear nibbling
neck licking
kisses along the spine/back from neck all the way down
hair pulling
light choking/spanking (know your partner)
dirty talking (know your partner)

What can I say? I'm a freak. Just like the rest of you.

:yes::yes::yes: especially for: light choking/spanking, hair pulling and the dirty talking:yes::yes::yes:
 
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