Why do black women have ONLINE dating profiles designed to REPEL men?

[DiamondDeuce]

Ok. So for years I've been on all the different dating sites at some time or another.

Blackplanet, Blackvoices, Blackpeoplemeet, Tagged, Mocospace, eHarmony, Match. Blah, Blah, Blah.

When I'm searching through I see a good number of sistas have the most NEGATIVE profiles... and I wonder do they even realize how a man would actually percieve it. Now I'm not talking about young women... this applys to the females that are age 27+

IF you refer to yourself as a DIVA that is an automatic turnoff.

IF under the race section you list MIXED or have something that is ignorant and wrong like "half black- half Jamaican" or "half black-half puerto-rican"

of if you have on the profile "I'm an outspoken female, I tells it like it is"

or if you list all the THINGS YOU DON'T want from a man... and that is all you post on your profile.

Of if on your profile you Rant about how dissapointed you are with the quality of dudes that have sent you messages.


You really don't see white/asian/latino women taking that approach when they fill out a dating profile. Usually they just LIST all the activities and things that they enjoy doing... and say that they are looking for a partner that enjoys the same?

Why are sistas so HOSTILE yet expect to attract a man?

 

[LoneStar29]

Why do you care since you have other "options"???

Comparing races of women based on their Black Planet profiles?? Are you kidding me??? You're so lame, I cant even take this bullshit seriously

Edit: And a man your age who claims to be so great but is STILL single and has no woman of no race really shouldnt be giving dating advice ... just sayin' ... get your shit straight before telling others how to act

 

[DiamondDeuce]

Why do you care since you have other "options"???

Comparing races of women based on their Black Planet profiles?? Are you kidding me??? You're so lame, I cant even take this bullshit seriously

Edit: And a man your age who claims to be so great but is STILL single and has no woman of no race really shouldnt be giving dating advice ... just sayin' ... get your shit straight before telling others how to act

You still did not answer the question. I keep my options open, but I still PREFER BLACK WOMEN. Yes I'm single... not MARRIED. So there is no shame on me being on a dating site...lol. I like the company of women... so I don't mind using all the different avenues at my disposal to accomodate my desires.

For the record. There are plenty of brothers that are decent and still single. Hence the point of my post. WHY would sistas be so hostile to men? If they are trying to attract them?

So I guess as usual you are going to personally attack me... when I have not personally attacked you.

But alas, this is the internet so if following me in threads and attacking me unprovoked makes you feel better about your life... then continue to do so.

I'm not going to expend the energy going back and forth with you on foolishness. If you have something to say about the topic.. fine.. I may respond. Otherwise.

 

[BCAA2009]

Don't expect to receive a serious answer from this.....

 

[Chicutie]

Not sure what perspective I could give on this because I wouldn't put that up and I'm not in that age group either.

I will just say maybe that wouldn't bother another guy. . . or maybe that's why they are on the dating site in the first place.

 

[DeSiRe]

maybe u should ask one of them to get a definitive answer

 

[LoneStar29]

You still did not answer the question. I keep my options open, but I still PREFER BLACK WOMEN. Yes I'm single... not MARRIED. So there is no shame on me being on a dating site...lol. I like the company of women... so I don't mind using all the different avenues at my disposal to accomodate my desires.

For the record. There are plenty of brothers that are decent and still single. Hence the point of my post. WHY would sistas be so hostile to men? If they are trying to attract them?

So I guess as usual you are going to personally attack me... when I have not personally attacked you.

But alas, this is the internet so if following me in threads and attacking me unprovoked makes you feel better about your life... then continue to do so.

I'm not going to expend the energy going back and forth with you on foolishness. If you have something to say about the topic.. fine.. I may respond. Otherwise.

I cant answer the question cuz I am not on Black Planet doing that sort of shit ... how do you expect us to answer if we aren't one of the females doing that???? It makes no sense you asking us

You're acting like you are trying to help when really this is just a new wave of attacks against black women ... your sig says it all. First we hear white women are better than us at dating, being wives, human beings and now they are better e-personalities too??? C'mon man... you aint foolin' anybody, you're just another basher ... Halo with a tad bit more education, I'll give you that much SMMFH brothas are sinking to an all time low with putting us down

 

[kwazdog]

Yo!!!!!! This is a major pattern and problem. Im glad i'm not just the only one noticing how their profiles are so "anti-romantic" for lack of a better word.


Why every broad feel the need to post international travel photos or want a phd. They do it to seem special (i guess), they all eventually blur into the same person.
Very rarely coming across as individuals with sovereign thoughts.

 

[kwazdog]

Not sure what perspective I could give on this because I wouldn't put that up and I'm not in that age group either.

I will just say maybe that wouldn't bother another guy. . . or maybe that's why they are on the dating site in the first place.

Ahhhhhhhhh!

 

[kwazdog]

I cant answer the question cuz I am not on Black Planet doing that sort of shit ... how do you expect us to answer if we aren't one of the females doing that???? It makes no sense you asking us

You're acting like you are trying to help when really this is just a new wave of attacks against black women ... your sig says it all. First we hear white women are better than us at dating, being wives, human beings and now they are better e-personalities too??? C'mon man... you aint foolin' anybody, you're just another basher ... Halo with a tad bit more education, I'll give you that much SMMFH brothas are sinking to an all time low with putting us down

Love you LoneStar. (No Simpo)

 

[actinanass]

I find it funny that once something that's true about black women comes out, its labeled as an "attack".

Maybe he is saying this so that YOU, SOL, could tell your fellow sisters to STOP with the bullshit online profiles?

There's a difference between corrective criticism, and an outright attack.

An attack rarely gives any solution to the problem.

 

[melonpecan]

You're acting like you are trying to help when really this is just a new wave of attacks against black women ... your sig says it all. First we hear white women are better than us at dating, being wives, human beings and now they are better e-personalities too??? C'mon man... you aint foolin' anybody, you're just another basher ... Halo with a tad bit more education, I'll give you that much SMMFH brothas are sinking to an all time low with putting us down

Considering his sig I was wondering why this was his topic in the first place...


...however OP when I decide to become the bitter sterotype you claim most of us are by finding men on a social network painting myself as negative, lonely, and overdemanding I'll give you a call so you can ignore me like you do most Black women who outwardly doesn't match up to your standards.

 

[melonpecan]

I find it funny that once something that's true about black women comes out, its labeled as an "attack".

Maybe he is saying this so that YOU, SOL, could tell your fellow sisters to STOP with the bullshit online profiles?

There's a difference between corrective criticism, and an outright attack.

An attack rarely gives any solution to the problem.

While I agree with some of what you have said here I do not perceive this thread as an attack.

However, if that is the message he is trying to convey he isn't doing a very good job of displaying his points on why we should...

 

[JustASista]

I guess the first thing is that the majority of the sites you mentioned aren't sites that have much quality. I mean really? Blackplanet? That site has been known for years to cater to the "younger" crowd and for a site to get a booty call. I haven't met one person on BP looking for a "long and fulfilling relationship".

I look at profiles as a reflection of a person. No reason to shit ice cream if that's not the case. If her profile was all sweet and precious and then she turned into a bitch, you'd complain she lied on her profile. If she's a bitch in her profile, she's probably not the chick for you. When I read disrespectful or ignorant profiles, it just makes me know that's not a person I'd want to be with, and keep it moving.

Women come from a different frame of mind when doing a dating profile because they have to deal with a lot of bullshit and it really is a weed out process. And while that first impression may not be to your liking, it is a way to cut the bullshit.

Now there are some very sick and wounded individuals and that happens on and offline. Just because someone is on the computer doesn't make them more attractive. The same bullshit you deal with in a club, or a library, or on a blind date, is the same thing you deal with online. It just comes in the form of a profile.



As a sidenote, I don't know you DD, but on a first impression, I would NEVER have guessed that black women were your preference given your signature.

 

[onyxfemme]

Ya know???
I stop reading after I saw that...So I really dont know what this thread is about...

I guess the first thing is that the majority of the sites you mentioned aren't sites that have much quality. I mean really? Blackplanet? That site has been known for years to cater to the "younger" crowd and for a site to get a booty call.

I look at profiles as a reflection of a person. No reason to shit ice cream if that's not the case. If her profile was all sweet and precious and then she turned into a bitch, you'd complain she lied on her profile. If she's a bitch in her profile, she's probably not the chick for you. When I read disrespectful or ignorant profiles, it just makes me know that's not a person I'd want to be with, and keep it moving.

Women come from a different frame of mind when doing a dating profile because they have to deal with a lot of bullshit and it really is a weed out process. And while that first impression may not be to your liking, it is a way to cut the bullshit.

Now there are some very sick and wounded individuals and that happens on and offline. Just because someone is on the computer doesn't make them more attractive. The same bullshit you deal with in a club, or a library, or on a blind date, is the same thing you deal with online. It just comes in the form of a profile.



As a sidenote, I don't know you DD, but on a first impression, I would NEVER have guessed that black women were your preference given your signature.

 

[actinanass]

While I agree with some of what you have said here I do not perceive this thread as an attack.

However, if that is the message he is trying to convey he isn't doing a very good job of displaying his points on why we should...

well he is probably black woman bashing, but there's some truth to what he's saying.

 

[Top_Bunk]

Ladies ladies ladies. C'mon jus cuz u aren't one of those type of females doesn't mean you can't clarify it. I mean just the mere fact that yall are women and stand each other better might have been reason enough for op to ask you gals. I ask questions like this to people I know that don't fit the description because sometimes females have friends that are like that and I would be hoping that your insight and perspective would help explain it. I'm not a chronic facebook user but I know people who are. And I know why they love it so much and I know what they use it for. So I can answer questions about "why do people waste so much time on facebook' when I'm personally not a guy that waste time on facebook. All about perspective.

 

[DeSiRe]

Considering his sig I was wondering why this was his topic in the first place...


...however OP when I decide to become the bitter sterotype you claim most of us are by finding men on a social network painting myself as negative, lonely, and overdemanding I'll give you a call so you can ignore me like you do most Black women who outwardly doesn't match up to your standards.

I guess the first thing is that the majority of the sites you mentioned aren't sites that have much quality. I mean really? Blackplanet? That site has been known for years to cater to the "younger" crowd and for a site to get a booty call. I haven't met one person on BP looking for a "long and fulfilling relationship".

I look at profiles as a reflection of a person. No reason to shit ice cream if that's not the case. If her profile was all sweet and precious and then she turned into a bitch, you'd complain she lied on her profile. If she's a bitch in her profile, she's probably not the chick for you. When I read disrespectful or ignorant profiles, it just makes me know that's not a person I'd want to be with, and keep it moving.

Women come from a different frame of mind when doing a dating profile because they have to deal with a lot of bullshit and it really is a weed out process. And while that first impression may not be to your liking, it is a way to cut the bullshit.

Now there are some very sick and wounded individuals and that happens on and offline. Just because someone is on the computer doesn't make them more attractive. The same bullshit you deal with in a club, or a library, or on a blind date, is the same thing you deal with online. It just comes in the form of a profile.



As a sidenote, I don't know you DD, but on a first impression, I would NEVER have guessed that black women were your preference given your signature.

right

i guess he wants chicks to tell him what he wants to hear....then turn around and call them a bitch for finding out they wasnt the woman she said she was

 

[Alumni]

Ladies ladies ladies. C'mon jus cuz u aren't one of those type of females doesn't mean you can't clarify it. I mean just the mere fact that yall are women and stand each other better might have been reason enough for op to ask you gals. I ask questions like this to people I know that don't fit the description because sometimes females have friends that are like that and I would be hoping that your insight and perspective would help explain it. I'm not a chronic facebook user but I know people who are. And I know why they love it so much and I know what they use it for. So I can answer questions about "why do people waste so much time on facebook' when I'm personally not a guy that waste time on facebook. All about perspective.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Stereotypes come from somewhere, people just don't make the shit up.... yet everyone is quick to say that no stereotype ever applies to them.... unless it's good. How does this work? I have yet to meet an angry, bitter, overweight, defensive black woman....

 

[melonpecan]

well he is probably black woman bashing, but there's some truth to what he's saying.

Again I agree with you, BUT given the topic and the perception that he is giving off there is a way to word yourself...

I guess the first thing is that the majority of the sites you mentioned aren't sites that have much quality. I mean really? Blackplanet? That site has been known for years to cater to the "younger" crowd and for a site to get a booty call. I haven't met one person on BP looking for a "long and fulfilling relationship".

I look at profiles as a reflection of a person. No reason to shit ice cream if that's not the case. If her profile was all sweet and precious and then she turned into a bitch, you'd complain she lied on her profile. If she's a bitch in her profile, she's probably not the chick for you. When I read disrespectful or ignorant profiles, it just makes me know that's not a person I'd want to be with, and keep it moving.

Women come from a different frame of mind when doing a dating profile because they have to deal with a lot of bullshit and it really is a weed out process. And while that first impression may not be to your liking, it is a way to cut the bullshit.

Now there are some very sick and wounded individuals and that happens on and offline. Just because someone is on the computer doesn't make them more attractive. The same bullshit you deal with in a club, or a library, or on a blind date, is the same thing you deal with online. It just comes in the form of a profile.



As a sidenote, I don't know you DD, but on a first impression, I would NEVER have guessed that black women were your preference given your signature.

I agree with all of this, especially the part about using such sites to weed through the bullshit. I always viewed online dating as a last resort, (unless you in high school), so by the time you get there you are just trying to cut out all the crap you dealt with BEFORE you got to eharmony, or heaven forbid, blackplanet .

Ladies ladies ladies. C'mon jus cuz u aren't one of those type of females doesn't mean you can't clarify it. I mean just the mere fact that yall are women and stand each other better might have been reason enough for op to ask you gals. I ask questions like this to people I know that don't fit the description because sometimes females have friends that are like that and I would be hoping that your insight and perspective would help explain it. I'm not a chronic facebook user but I know people who are. And I know why they love it so much and I know what they use it for. So I can answer questions about "why do people waste so much time on facebook' when I'm personally not a guy that waste time on facebook. All about perspective.

There is a thing about perspective and I agree with you on this but again...let's look a little deeper into the OP's original post...

right

i guess he wants chicks to tell him what he wants to hear....then turn around and call them a bitch for finding out they wasnt the woman she said she was

It's like seeing a cute face on the profile and then meeting her at the mall and realizing she's 450 with a bucket of chicken and an oxygen tank. Some people can't live without complaining or having a reason to complain. But every once in a while they need to feel validating in feeling as they do or else they would have an epiphany and fly right.

 

[SamSneed]

i like when y'all get her mad, makes her a beast in bed

 

[melonpecan]

Mental Imagery Sam!!!


Some of us have vivid imaginations! I'm bout to go to bed dammit!!!

 

[SamSneed]

Mental Imagery Sam!!!


Some of us have vivid imaginations! I'm bout to go to bed dammit!!!

we turn the a/c off too

 

[bootlegga]

As a sidenote, I don't know you DD, but on a first impression, I would NEVER have guessed that black women were your preference given your signature.

men can't have options?

or is it just the pic?

 

[LoneStar29]

men can't have options?

or is it just the pic?

Of course men can have options ... but that sig is a direct diss to black women and you all know it. If any one of us sistas had a sig like that telling black women they have options with a pic of a white guy all hell would break loose and we would be called all sorts of names including a sell-out ... but as usual most of you only see it from your own side

Frankly I think us black women are better off when men like him exercise those other options cuz we need strong leaders and anyone who thinks Coco of all women is a better option than a black woman is mos def NOT fit to lead us

 

[melonpecan]

we turn the a/c off too

Argh!

men can't have options?

or is it just the pic?

Please see Lone's response; she got to it before me.



I don't care if a dude decides to exercise their options. Or a woman for that matter. Hell if I didn't have the life I got and had different opportunities I'd be trying to snatch up a Japanese or Korean man...but that is another thread. I'm not going to rehash what has already been said...




What I am curious though is for someone to go to one of these 'reputable' social sites and find a 'negative' woman and post the correspondence so we can get an 'example' of these 'bitter black women' out in the world.

 

[actinanass]

I'm going to say this. The part that's true about the op's thread is the fact that a lot of black women take themselves way too seriously.

I don't care if you think you are independent. I don't care if you wanna get rid of drama in your life. I really don't care if you see yourself as a diva. Diva's don't have fun, they complain... *yea quote that shit...*

 

[LoneStar29]

love you lonestar. (no simpo)

lol

 

[LeroyDibiase]

maybe u should ask one of them to get a definitive answer

This is going to be the only feasible answer to your problem. I don't think there are any women on here that will be able to answer it, if you want an answer.

To your actual problems, the only things you listed that I see are "Black women only" are the Diva shit and the "Half-Black, Half-Trinidad" or "Black, Jamaican, Irish, Scottish, Costa Rican, Guyanese, Samoan, Ukrainian, every country under the sun" BS where no one wants to be "Black". Everything else is done by women of all colors.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Designed to repel black men? Black men like whom? Maybe there's alot of black men out there who like those types of profiles? Are you OP the representative for all black men out there?

 

[melonpecan]

That chick got some big aerolas

 

[bootlegga]

Of course men can have options ... but that sig is a direct diss to black women and you all know it. If any one of us sistas had a sig like that telling black women they have options with a pic of a white guy all hell would break loose and we would be called all sorts of names including a sell-out ... but as usual most of you only see it from your own side

Frankly I think us black women are better off when men like him exercise those other options cuz we need strong leaders and anyone who thinks Coco of all women is a better option than a black woman is mos def NOT fit to lead us

well if you did it on a forum where 85-95% of the members were black males, yeah, i could see why that would be a potential problem...

isn't there a female message board like this? lipstick alley or something? don't chicks do that there?

 

[Mo-Better]

I'm surprised the OP didn't get his ass handed to him with this thread. Women who post in those lonely hearts clubs don't reflect all black women. Its not even fair to ask these women why others display these tendencies.

Also I'm surprised the OP was taken seriously at all with a white woman's picture as his sig. Sorry dude this does look like sister bashing even if that wasn't your intent.

 

[LoneStar29]

well if you did it on a forum where 85-95% of the members were black males, yeah, i could see why that would be a potential problem...

So then you see the issue with him posting that here now right??

isn't there a female message board like this? lipstick alley or something? don't chicks do that there?

I just recently started frequenting that site and there are posters like the OP over there that bash sistas and they get their asses handed to them by not only the sistas but by some of the women of other races on there too who dont like that bashing shit

I'm surprised the OP didn't get his ass handed to him with this thread. Women who post in those lonely hearts clubs don't reflect all black women. Its not even fair to ask these women why others display these tendencies.

Also I'm surprised the OP was taken seriously at all with a white woman's picture as his sig. Sorry dude this does look like sister bashing even if that wasn't your intent.

C/S all the above

 

[Upgrade Dave]

Designed to repel black men? Black men like whom? Maybe there's alot of black men out there who like those types of profiles? Are you OP the representative for all black men out there?

Unlikely. If there was, they wouldn't be on dating sites.

I'm surprised the OP didn't get his ass handed to him with this thread. Women who post in those lonely hearts clubs don't reflect all black women. Its not even fair to ask these women why others display these tendencies.

Also I'm surprised the OP was taken seriously at all with a white woman's picture as his sig. Sorry dude this does look like sister bashing even if that wasn't your intent.

I didn't read that into it but I've learned that when people want to be that's what they're going to be.