Ladies: What Makes a man a Man to You?

[LoneStar29]

this is way off subject but, I may have to agree with Da Don on this one. I kinda take the part of what you said that I highlighted as a lack of self esteem rather than lack of self respect. maybe I misunderstood. On the other hand, if a person (makes no difference if it's male or female) doesn't respect themselves, how can i expect them to respect me? just a thought. I mean, I would respect them. I respect everybody. I don't think I could be bothered with them though.

What I mean is ... when you have someone that doesn't like themselves, has no self-esteem or self-respect, is making the wrong decisions and damaging themselves I wouldn't respect a man that's going to see this persons weakness and exploit it ... like say a pimp who sees a young teen runaway who has been abused and molested all her life and then pimps her out and makes things worse for her ... I understand that in the end it's her life and her decisions ... but I just really respect a guy that wouldn't take advantage of that ... I feel a real man uplifts people instead of bringing them down ... and in my opinion a real woman has all the same qualities I initially wrote down for what I think a real man is ... I wouldn't look for any qualities in a man that I couldn't offer him myslef

 

[jedimasta]

What I mean is ... when you have someone that doesn't like themselves, has no self-esteem or self-respect, is making the wrong decisions and damaging themselves I wouldn't respect a man that's going to see this persons weakness and exploit it ... like say a pimp who sees a young teen runaway who has been abused and molested all her life and then pimps her out and makes things worse for her ... I understand that in the end it's her life and her decisions ... but I just really respect a guy that wouldn't take advantage of that ... I feel a real man uplifts people instead of bringing them down ... and in my opinion a real woman has all the same qualities I initially wrote down for what I think a real man is ... I wouldn't look for any qualities in a man that I couldn't offer him myslef

Would you still hold this same opinion if the person in question was a male teenager and not a woman?

At the end of the day, certain circumstances notwithstanding, you choose how you are going to live your life. If she was raped, assualted, etc. and she chose a pimp then that was her decision. Much like she could have chose to go to a shelter, church, or some other form of a safe haven.

 

[Mentor B]

First of all you're an idiot cuz you ALREADY put your boy on full blast by telling the main parts of the story ... secondly I stand by what I said ... a real man DOES respect a woman wether she respects herself or not ... by that I meant he doesn't kick her when she's already down ...

You obviously have trouble making the connection between that wack reply and the latter part of my post. I'm not a common debater so I ain't even gonna break it down for you.

if you don't understand that then maybe you should ask your boy for some "manly" advice cuz I guarantee he will get more premium pussy with his attitude then you ever will with that "slap a bitch" attitude ...

Well if that ain't an assumption.

If a person is willing to resolve an issue with maturity and civility then I'm all for that. But if somebody puts their hands on me, it's on! I don't give a fuck if you are a man or woman.

Lastly, there is nothing manly about respecting somebody who doesn't respect him or herself. If a person cannot respect him or herself, how do you expect this person to respect anyone else?

Maybe you need to spend some time thinking about this.

 

[nick177th]

What I mean is ... when you have someone that doesn't like themselves, has no self-esteem or self-respect, is making the wrong decisions and damaging themselves I wouldn't respect a man that's going to see this persons weakness and exploit it ... like say a pimp who sees a young teen runaway who has been abused and molested all her life and then pimps her out and makes things worse for her ... I understand that in the end it's her life and her decisions ... but I just really respect a guy that wouldn't take advantage of that ... I feel a real man uplifts people instead of bringing them down ... and in my opinion a real woman has all the same qualities I initially wrote down for what I think a real man is ... I wouldn't look for any qualities in a man that I couldn't offer him myslef

I feel you.

 

[Izayoi]

I think the same things that make a good man are the same things that make a good woman, sans the inherent masculine and feminine traits men and women possess respectively.

With that being said I think men and women should stop trying to be a 'good man' or a 'good woman' and work on being a 'good person.' Everything else will fall into place after that.

My 2 cents...

C/s

 

[smith]

Okay I get you now. Your talking about being there for your children not their mother. I can dig that and yes, I see my kids all the time. I'm taking them skating in a couple days and out to grandma's for the weekend after. Still I wasn't thrown out, I left their mother. Every so often I still get angry folks asking why I walked out on my family. I say "You try living with her" but nobody seems to get it.

In hind sight I could have been like some of my friends who stayed with their baby mothers no matter how controlling and insulting they got. Had all the kids they wanted them to have. Worked shitty job to support the life she wanted. Somehow that doesn't sound like a man though. It sounds more like a bitch who's too afraid to put his woman in check.

So what's the balance then? How do you be a man while still maintaining your manhood?

very much truth in these words

 

[LoneStar29]

Would you still hold this same opinion if the person in question was a male teenager and not a woman?

At the end of the day, certain circumstances notwithstanding, you choose how you are going to live your life. If she was raped, assualted, etc. and she chose a pimp then that was her decision. Much like she could have chose to go to a shelter, church, or some other form of a safe haven.

Yes I would

 

[LoneStar29]

I feel you.

FINALLY someone understands me ... thank you

 

[tripleds3]

I'm not trying to be overly serious, because this is a porn board for cryin' out loud. And I know it's mostly make believe and bullshit. Cool. But if we gonna talk about what's a man, our people just can't afford to be confused about that shit. I have no problem with sisters on here swooning over some pretty motherfucker. Good for him. But I want to know who the fuck is gonna be down when shit gets HARD. That's all I'm saying. I watched my old man work a job he absolutely hated because he had kids to feed. And never turned into a little bitch about it. That's a fucking MAN.

Co-sign

 

[BlueHue]

a man to me is someone who...
has a plan to leave a legacy for his family
a provider
has a big dick and knows how to use it
knows when to be emotional when apporiate
the rock of the family
can fix shit and kill spiders
isnt scared to treat his woman like a woman
God fearing
mature

all of the above

 

[Smakk]

I'm not trying to be overly serious, because this is a porn board for cryin' out loud. And I know it's mostly make believe and bullshit. Cool. But if we gonna talk about what's a man, our people just can't afford to be confused about that shit. I have no problem with sisters on here swooning over some pretty motherfucker. Good for him. But I want to know who the fuck is gonna be down when shit gets HARD. That's all I'm saying. I watched my old man work a job he absolutely hated because he had kids to feed. And never turned into a little bitch about it. That's a fucking MAN.

Exactly.A Man or a Woman is a person that's responsible.All of that other shit is a plus.

 

[lawlessoutlaw]

This is sparked off a convo I was just having with a friend. So what is it that makes a man a real man to you?

degree?
title?
income?
assets?
possessions?
brute force?
looks?
what?

For me it is 2 things; how he handles his business whatever it may be and what he does in the bedroom.

Curious to see how the rest of you will answer.

this shit is stupid, how the fuck can a broad tell a nigga he isn't a man if he doesn't live up too her standards? if a mothafucka was born with a dick then he's a man.

 

[bigirl]

this shit is stupid, how the fuck can a broad tell a nigga he isn't a man if he doesn't live up too her standards? if a mothafucka was born with a dick then he's a man.

You are stupid. Being a male does not automatically make one a man.
If one cannot take care of their responsibilities they are not a man.
If one cannot bring a female to orgasm they are not a man.
Sadly there are a lot of 35, 40 and 50 year old boys running around.

 

[lawlessoutlaw]

You are stupid. Being a male does not automatically make one a man.
If one cannot take care of their responsibilities they are not a man.
If one cannot bring a female to orgasm they are not a man.
Sadly there are a lot of 35, 40 and 50 year old boys running around.

all you're doing is creating too why niggas think badly about women with statements like those above.

 

[kenbgco68]

I think the same things that make a good man are the same things that make a good woman, sans the inherent masculine and feminine traits men and women possess respectively.

With that being said I think men and women should stop trying to be a 'good man' or a 'good woman' and work on being a 'good person.' Everything else will fall into place after that.

My 2 cents...

co-sign

 

[sexylegz33]

A Man to me ...
is educated(school and street smart)
doesn't care what others think of him(does his own thing)
loves his family and friends(is there for them when they need him)
stands up for what he believes in
is a gentleman(shows respect to women even if they don't respect themselves)
kind to others(regardless of who it is)
can admit when he is wrong
has normal emotions(isn't trying to be so hard all the time)
doesn't put money first
knows how to love just one woman in aaaaaaall the right ways

C/S I couldn't have said it any better!!!

 

[snow3851]

It's hard to put into words what a "real man" but I believe that a real man is someone whom knows how to take care of his business at work, in the bedroom and at home. He also, demands respect and gives it in return.

 

[lawlessoutlaw]

It's hard to put into words what a "real man" but I believe that a real man is someone whom knows how to take care of his business at work, in the bedroom and at home. He also, demands respect and gives it in return.

so if a nigga can't give you money or fuck you then he's not a real man?.

 

[xfactor]

Between this -

You are stupid. Being a male does not automatically make one a man.
If one cannot take care of their responsibilities they are not a man.
If one cannot bring a female to orgasm they are not a man.

and this -

a man to me is someone who...
has a plan to leave a legacy for his family
a provider
has a big dick and knows how to use it
knows when to be emotional when apporiate
the rock of the family
can fix shit and kill spiders
isnt scared to treat his woman like a woman
God fearing
mature

I'm ROTFLMAO.

To flip this, according to bigirl, you aren't a woman unless you have sex skills like Belladonna which must explain why prostitutes and strippers are in such high demand...They're the only ones that qualify...

Oh and to combine DeSiRe's take - You aren't a woman unless you have a body like Esther Baxter, know how to "fix shit" in the kitchen, clean, spend frivolously every time they see a sale, and isn't scared to "treat her man like a man" (which she obviously has no idea what a man is)

You two are definitely in the category of "middle-aged children".

 

[jedimasta]

You are stupid. Being a male does not automatically make one a man.
If one cannot take care of their responsibilities they are not a man.
If one cannot bring a female to orgasm they are not a man.
Sadly there are a lot of 35, 40 and 50 year old boys running around.

And being female doesn't automatically make one a woman.

If a female cannot take care of their responsibilites they are not a woman.

If a woman won't have sex with her mate/spouse because of some superificial reason or manipulative purpose, i.e. playing games with the pussy, or she won't try to work with a lesser experienced male, then she is not a woman.

Sadly there are a lot of 35, 40, and 50 year old girls running around.

I'm going to be single for a long time...

 

[maynard]

You aren't a man unless you have a larger than average penis with which you can bring a woman to sexual satisfaction?

You're a retard.

 

[ChocolateLava30]

Don't give us an out, DBE. I didn't say get married and live happily ever after. But responsibility is responsibility. You fuck and produce, you fuck and produce. And who's responsibility do you say this is?

I dont' care if you can't stand the silly bitch. Tough. You don't have to get married, or even interact with her beyond the minimum. But respoonsibilty means more than paying child support. It means going to the little league games and the dumb little plays and shit. I hear a lot of shit talked in here about black people this and black people that. And oh my brother and oh my sister. I like the board, I'm not knocking any of what goes on in here. We should enjoy one another's company. But our people are in a fucked up position (have you noticed?) and a lot of it is directly (and I mean fucking directly) attributable to the absense of a GOOD daddy.

I work with young people every single day, and I can tell almost immediately, male or female, if they were raised with a father in the house. I am seldom wrong. The girls seem to fair a lot better than the boys, because a lot of these weak motherfuckers crumble to dust when the wind blows hard. And I don't just work with a few of them, I work with hundreds. Now, don't get me wrong. I know some young cats I would bet my life on. But almost without exception they are the result of some man (maybe their daddy, maybe an uncle or grandpa) showing them how a man walks his walk. It is too fucking easy to talk the talk. But when the money gets tight and the pressure builds up and the fucking rent man is at the door, then we see who has the goods. I dig this shit about a man is sensitive, caring, intelligent, ambitious, great sense of humor, etc. Ya'll sisters can fool yourselves that that's a man if you want to. Could be because there are so few real men out here and many of you have done a great job of making your own way. But we, men, were put here to do the harsh, nasty, uncomfortable shit- that's our role- and black men have forced black women to do it (because it has to get done one way or the other) for so long that our people are totally fucking confused aobut who is who and what is what.

I'm not about keeping women barefoot and pregnant: I want my woman to make ten times what I make and have 10 times the education. Don't bother me at all. But when the fucking pipe busts under the house in the middle of February I don't want there to be any confusion about whose job it is to fix the motherfucker.

Because black males have been, and continue to be, so emasculated in this society, we are hard pressed to have any real idea of what a man is. That is why I like Obama so much, even though I find bourgeios politics so revolting. Boy got a set of nuts on him to make a serious run at the big chair. Obama is a fucking man. 100 percent. Now he may be charming, and well spoken and articulate, and may even give good head for all I know. But all ya'll know cats like that. What he has is fucking guts. THAT you don't see everyday, at least I don't.

So, yeah, women have played games since the beginning of time. So have men. But if you fuck and produce, you OWN IT. Them's the rules, or a least it should be.

Nuff Said

 

[GET YOU HOT]

Responsibility in many ways, from paying the bills, good health, communication, to staying in charge, good measure, family business, all those things, are a good signs that the man has his life in order and is willing to be committed...

 

[followup]

This is sparked off a convo I was just having with a friend. So what is it that makes a man a real man to you?

degree?
title?
income?
assets?
possessions?
brute force?
looks?
what?

For me it is 2 things; how he handles his business whatever it may be and what he does in the bedroom.

Curious to see how the rest of you will answer.

None of that for me. It's about his confidence, ambition, sense of self, sense of family, spirituality (gotta believe in God, don't have to have a religion), contributions to society, and kind-heartedness. Some good dick doesn't hurt, but it doesn't make him a real man. If you don't have all of these, then you are not a real man in my book

 

[brownstalliongq]

This is sparked off a convo I was just having with a friend. So what is it that makes a man a real man to you?

degree?
title?
income?
assets?
possessions?
brute force?
looks?
what?

For me it is 2 things; how he handles his business whatever it may be and what he does in the bedroom.

Curious to see how the rest of you will answer.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm i guess this question is one that 99.9%
of men have never asked themselves

 

[somebodyshome]

a man to me is someone who...
has a plan to leave a legacy for his family
a provider
has a big dick and knows how to use it
knows when to be emotional when apporiate
the rock of the family
can fix shit and kill spiders
isnt scared to treat his woman like a woman
God fearing
mature

can fix shit and kill spiders

^^ Yep!

 

[somebodyshome]

A Man to me ...
is educated(school and street smart)
doesn't care what others think of him(does his own thing)
loves his family and friends(is there for them when they need him)
stands up for what he believes in
is a gentleman(shows respect to women even if they don't respect themselves)
kind to others(regardless of who it is)
can admit when he is wrong
has normal emotions(isn't trying to be so hard all the time)
doesn't put money first
knows how to love just one woman in aaaaaaall the right ways

If only!!

 

[somebodyshome]

has a big dick and God fearing......you hoes kill me.....

You must have a small dick...

 

[somebodyshome]

Between this -



and this -



I'm ROTFLMAO.

To flip this, according to bigirl, you aren't a woman unless you have sex skills like Belladonna which must explain why prostitutes and strippers are in such high demand...They're the only ones that qualify...

Oh and to combine DeSiRe's take - You aren't a woman unless you have a body like Esther Baxter, know how to "fix shit" in the kitchen, clean, spend frivolously every time they see a sale, and isn't scared to "treat her man like a man" (which she obviously has no idea what a man is)

You two are definitely in the category of "middle-aged children".

So you're saying you want a woman who can stick a baseball bat up her asshole..Right?? (Belladonna) I stopped reading after I saw that.

 

[DiamondDeuce]

This "Real man" shit is such a fabrication of romantic fiction.

Moreover, males never question a female's womanhood. We ain't that cruel and insensitive. We recognize your womanhood. That is a given to us.

On the contrary, too many women are often saying in masked language, "I am seeking a real version of the hollywood derived smoked white hunky sensitive prince charming slave tool." You should say it in a more direct way.


Sistas, your language betrays you. This is straight ego trippin. You can not impose bullshit fabrication on the average dude. Fellas don't live in La La land. We keep shit simple.

How disrespectful for a sista to say that a man is not a real man. Sistas need to distant themselves from that bull shit with the quickness.

That is a hate that reciprocates hates.

Bruh Co-sign 100%

A man is simply a RESPONSIBLE MALE ...and it goes from there.

Most of the shit that I have heard describing is some Hollywood fantasy. Which explains why many black women are single. You are passing over decent and qualified men in pursuit of a Hollywood or shall I say MUSIC VIDEO defined fantasy version of a "Man".


Women decide if they want to FUCK a man. MEN decide what women they want to be there WIVES.

The key is to quit blaming one sex...or looking towards some "ideal".
Ladies get your own shit together...and I am not talking about materialistic. Having a job, place, and car... is SHIT YOU SUPPOSED TO DO. Not something to brag about.

When men are choosing a woman to be their wife.... they are looking for a woman that exhibits WIFE LIKE QUALITIES at ALL TIMES.