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How do you get over them?

bigirl

bigirl

anti- voluntary ignorance
BGOL Investor
Man, I been trying so hard to get over my ex for a very long time now. I have tried everything. I have tried to be vex with him and hate him and think about what an asshole he is. I have tried to erase him from the memory banks and every time I catch myself thinking on him force myself to think on something else. I have tried to fuck other people and find myself thinking of him while I fucking the other person and wishing I was fucking him instead of them. I only end up more frustrated from the new dick.

Will this ever go away? How do I make it go away?

signed,

Miserable
 
bigirl said:
Man, I been trying so hard to get over my ex for a very long time now. I have tried everything. I have tried to be vex with him and hate him and think about what an asshole he is. I have tried to erase him from the memory banks and every time I catch myself thinking on him force myself to think on something else. I have tried to fuck other people and find myself thinking of him while I fucking the other person and wishing I was fucking him instead of them. I only end up more frustrated from the new dick.

Will this ever go away? How do I make it go away?

signed,

Miserable
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i need to know why yall broke up? whos fault was it.. be honest.. then i can help u
 
I know I am a newbie but from a woman's point of view sounds like you got it bad. It will go away with time if you really want it to but only with a lot of time. Sounds like you are really in love with this guy.

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i cant help u then... remember no human being can u steal ur joy..only u can prevent urself from sorrow and lonelyness.. move on like Mya. if he comes back 2 u on his own then so be it..... another mans trash is another mans treasure
 
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im kinda going thru it too...

i just found out my ex has a girlfriend:(

i liked him alot (and still do) so it hurts that he moved on

what im doing is doing my best to take my mind off it...

go shopping
go to the club
kick it with friends

do anything but sit and think about him

also lean on your friends...when my bff goes thru it she knows she can call anytime and ill help take her mind off it...and vice versa

eventually you'll train yourself not to dwelle...but for now...u MUST divert your attention
 
bigirl said:
Man, I been trying so hard to get over my ex for a very long time now. I have tried everything. I have tried to be vex with him and hate him and think about what an asshole he is. I have tried to erase him from the memory banks and every time I catch myself thinking on him force myself to think on something else. I have tried to fuck other people and find myself thinking of him while I fucking the other person and wishing I was fucking him instead of them. I only end up more frustrated from the new dick.

Will this ever go away? How do I make it go away?

signed,

Miserable
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:smh: @ your ass
 
What I do is cut off all ties with that person ... no seeing them ... no phone calls ... no nothing ... not being bitter ... but you can't move on if that person is still lingering around ... it hurts now but just know that eventually you will get over it ... I mean think back to the ex before that ... I'm sure you felt that way about him too and you got past it right??? Hold ya head up and it'll be all good:yes: But I never recommend that just fuck somebody else thing ... that never works ... trust me ... and the other person deserves more than just being your rebound fuck
 
bigirl said:
Man, I been trying so hard to get over my ex for a very long time now. I have tried everything. I have tried to be vex with him and hate him and think about what an asshole he is. I have tried to erase him from the memory banks and every time I catch myself thinking on him force myself to think on something else. I have tried to fuck other people and find myself thinking of him while I fucking the other person and wishing I was fucking him instead of them. I only end up more frustrated from the new dick.

Will this ever go away? How do I make it go away?

signed,

Miserable
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Time heal all wounds. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and also about what could've been. Get up, go out and find something to do. Get involved in something recreational or better yet take up an online course to occupy your time.


Shit happens for a reason, we live and we learn. Just move on :)
 
Live your life and occupy yourself with something positive. Pain takes a lot of time but you need to vent that anger rather than bottling it up.

Did you get closure from him in the relationship. If not that may increase the frustration for you. Take your time, pain does not go away all at once but one day you will reach for it and find it is gone or barely there anymore.
 
I had it like that for a minute too.

Go and sit face to face, without anger, talk until you both know for sure: "This is why I'm through with you.."

She wouldn't talk to me, but I finally cleared that up in my thinking about her. It took longer because she wouldn't talk to me.

I'm good.

You can be too.
 
bigirl said:
We are thousands of miles apart :smh:
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Phone?

Not to be blunt, but my dreamgirl [I've posted about her on BGOL] wouldnt speak my name to friends. I did everything but stalk her to talk to her, but she refused to hear me -- even though I made sure she got the message I just wanted to clean things up. Letters, cd's, cards, phone cards, whatever it took to have her call me so we could just close things out [because I couldn't get over her without it] and she wouldn't have it.

I finally just had to list what I would have said to her and sent that. It wasn't begging, pleading or screeming about anything, just what I loved about her and what I knew of where we stood as of this last letter. I accepted finally that if she wanted to talk with me at all, it would have happened over the time I tried so hard to reach her. My acceptance was in that last letter.
 
crack-pipe.jpg


:hmm:

The best part is . . . . I let you get your first couple of hits, absolutely free!

:devil:

















































The serious answer is this . . .

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. . . And some, you never get over. :dunno:
 
The answer is easy, YOU DON'T! You never will so you move on! If and I do mean "if" this was someone you really loved you will never get over them. The best you can do is hope to find someone to replace them. To help you forget, to bring some joy back into your life. Time still heals all wounds.:yes:
 
Sistah I know how you feel and I am very sorry you are going through it right now. It does go away with time, but you do not fall out of love with someone over night.

I am going through something very similar. The first part for me was I had to stop thinking about all the stuff he did to hurt me and try to get past hating him. The anger holds you back from healing.

I am staying busy with my friends, doing things with my kids, throwing myself into my career, working out, going to church, and dating whom ever I chose. No, you are not going to be able to get over him with someone new. You have to get over him before you replace him and you will eventually. Nothing works like just taking time to do you. You will probably come to a point some day where you will be asking yourself "damn, what the hell did I ever see in that nukka anyway?!" I will too. Anyone who has gone through what we are going through can tell you... Yes, it will go away in time.



bigirl said:
Man, I been trying so hard to get over my ex for a very long time now. I have tried everything. I have tried to be vex with him and hate him and think about what an asshole he is. I have tried to erase him from the memory banks and every time I catch myself thinking on him force myself to think on something else. I have tried to fuck other people and find myself thinking of him while I fucking the other person and wishing I was fucking him instead of them. I only end up more frustrated from the new dick.

Will this ever go away? How do I make it go away?

signed,

Miserable
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Hey Bi, I feel you...

Like some others have said, it's time and preoccupation with other things that will help you get over your ex. Also, you have to look at this as being something trivial. Believe me, this is not the worst thing that can happen to you. With me, the best thing for me was to be thrown into a situation I had to focus my attention and time on. You can choose work, outside activities, or meditate...that last one helps clear your mind.

Make a concerted effort to clear your mind of all things, occupy your time, and love to live...
 
honestly, time is the major factor. another thing that people sometimes forget is taking stock of self- if he did you wrong, then take stock of your worth and why is not it for you. if you did- then you need to take stock so you dont put yourself in a repeat situation. its emotionally taxing, it hurts, but its needed.

at the end of the day tho- if you really loved this one, you will never get over it- sorry, thats just real. you will move on, you wil be ok, you will find happiness/contentment/ love elsewhere- but a part of your heart will always have that person. accpeting that was the hardest part for me- i just wanted them GONE from everything- but you cant delete memories.
 
Mo-Better said:
The answer is easy, YOU DON'T! You never will so you move on! If and I do mean "if" this was someone you really loved you will never get over them. The best you can do is hope to find someone to replace them. To help you forget, to bring some joy back into your life. Time still heals all wounds.:yes:
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MB you couldn't have said it better. One never gets over that kinda connection with someone. BG I know how you feel especially regarding the distance :smh: trust me sistren its gonna hurt like hell but really time is all we've got. Moving forward always yes. If you and him are meant for each other there is nothing that will keep you apart. Keep trodding forward sista.
 
bigirl said:
Man, I been trying so hard to get over my ex for a very long time now. I have tried everything. I have tried to be vex with him and hate him and think about what an asshole he is. I have tried to erase him from the memory banks and every time I catch myself thinking on him force myself to think on something else. I have tried to fuck other people and find myself thinking of him while I fucking the other person and wishing I was fucking him instead of them. I only end up more frustrated from the new dick.

Will this ever go away? How do I make it go away?

signed,

Miserable
Click to expand...


Go cold turkey as far as this person goes, find somebody to occupy ur time to keep this person off ur mind as much as possible...Its hard as fuck. I know this bc I had to go thru it about 8 months back and now my ex cross my mind every now and again, but nun serious...
 
bigirl said:
Man, I been trying so hard to get over my ex for a very long time now. I have tried everything. I have tried to be vex with him and hate him and think about what an asshole he is. I have tried to erase him from the memory banks and every time I catch myself thinking on him force myself to think on something else. I have tried to fuck other people and find myself thinking of him while I fucking the other person and wishing I was fucking him instead of them. I only end up more frustrated from the new dick.

Will this ever go away? How do I make it go away?

signed,

Miserable
Click to expand...



why don't you get back with him, and if it doesn't work, then you'll know it wasn't meant to be. You don't have to fuck him, you just have to spend time with him. You're just stuck on memories of him, if you get back with him, forgive him, whatever, try it and see what happens. I did that with my ex and I realized that after a while, I had actually grown far beyond her level, so I let her go.

It's like having a hangover, you have to get a bit of the hair from the dog that bit you to make you feel better. if that makes any sense.
 
I say this becuase it happened to me. I was still preoccupied with this one girl, and I decided why not take her out as a friend, after months of not talking to her. I basically saw that we were worlds apart from one another and she was still on some immature nonsense. After that I'd realized that it wasn't worth crying/thinking/dwelling over
 
I spoke to him tonight. Made me feel a lil better but the distance is killing me. don't even know when I will be able to see him.
 
Now I understand. :smh:

If have to think about it this hard you really should just let him go. But I'm gonna stay out of it.
 
bigirl said:
I spoke to him tonight. Made me feel a lil better but the distance is killing me. don't even know when I will be able to see him.
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OK, so you're following a solid sound brother, cool. if and when you see him, talk to him, seriously talk to him about what you're going through. by this time, you should be more than analytical towards him and he should know about this. he'd be on his toes if he sees you the next time, but you have to keep your guard up.....keep it up. no matter what happens. even if he can eat pussy better than a fucking Puertorican on a Rican Day Parade, LOL. no matter what he does, keep him at bay.......that's the best torture. if he wants you back, he'll either let you know or he'll tell you about his own ventures.....plain and simple. that's me as a man on what would happen. because I've done that before. I usually don't break up with the girl, but I make it sure that they break up with me....it's a good technique....if don't fall in love with the girl.......so........go figga. You either figure it out or you will the hard way........

You seem like a good person, some of your comments may seem harsh(as are mines) but hey, we all go thruogh this nonsense
 
I'm not going to say don't go through it because you're looking for answers and you can get suggestions from anybody in a club, so......just look at me as a regular pimp in the club(I won't pimp you, trust me, LOL)
this is the internet and I'll give my advice and if it works, I'll hear it if it doesn't, then fuck it, what do I have to lose. all I know is my world and my balls, and I don't break them for nobody......LOL. I'm kidding. I'm just saying all I know is what I would do as a man.....so take it as it be. and I'm from the Norhteast. we're harsher than than dudes in the south(or so I've heard from southern women)......

either way, dont' make it a big deal. I've yet to see your photo so I won't say anything yet......but hmmmmmmmm
 
^^^
Dude...wasn't you just getting on me about apologizing to Bigirl for a joke about the VI on BGOL? Now this? I understand her situation, but damn! Ya'll negros flip like a muthafucka over here don't you. :smh:
 
Andeyhollawho said:
^^^
Dude...wasn't you just getting on me about apologizing to Bigirl for a joke about the VI on BGOL? Now this? I understand her situation, but damn! Ya'll negros flip like a muthafucka over here don't you. :smh:
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yeah I'm a "dyke" yet its funny how the "ex" i referring to is a man :rolleyes:
 
bigirl said:
Man, I been trying so hard to get over my ex for a very long time now.
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Unless you have a kid with him, fuck him. Any relationship that didn't produce a kid is easily eradicated. Ooooooh, but if you were a nigga and you had a kid by some bitch who is just poison to you, then you'd be in trouble. Because, you'd have to keep seeing that bitch for 20 years.
 
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