That is a question majority of us women wonder about. There are so many single men and women these days, yet nothing is done about it. Many men tell me that they don't know if it is okay to approach a woman or not. They say that some women look at them like, "I wish you would say something to me." How can we as women give men a sign to let them know it is okay to approach us? Why don't we as women step up to the plate and approach the man? Well me personally, I don't have a problem in letting a man know I am interested. I will try to give some kind of signals to him to let him know that it is okay for him to show his interest in me. Some men like it when the woman makes the first move, it's sexy to them. What are your views on this?
Do men think you are unapproachable?
- Thread starter tripleds3
- Start date
The only thing men have told me is that I'm bull headed. Many have said that I seem "high maintenance".
And others have said that I look "boojie".
I don't care because it's all true.
And others have said that I look "boojie".
I don't care because it's all true.
As a man, I wish MORE women would make the first move. It is very attractive to me when a woman asserts herself to speak to/approach me. It doesn't happen that much because I think most women have a fear of rejection. The the few times it has I really appreciated it. It showed me that she saw something she liked in me and she was willing to take a chance to meet me... It's not about game, it's about conversation. Whenever I approach a young lady, I just start a conversation with her. I try to show some of my personality, because in the end if she chooses to deal with me beyond our first meeting that's what she's gonna get. I always feel that I'm going to get/exchange numbers as well. Of course that doesn't always happen, but that's the confidence you've gotta have to even try. If I don't get the number or any interaction with her after we first meet, it's cool because I always feel that I can leave some sort of good impression with her. I try to leave her with a positive story to tell about me when she walks away (e.g. my conversation, cologne, making her laugh, the way I look
, etc.). Ladies, in my opinion you all should approach men more often and with the same confidence. Come up to us and speak to us the way you would like us to when we approach you...
As a man, I wish MORE women would make the first move. It is very attractive to me when a woman asserts herself to speak to/approach me. It doesn't happen that much because I think most women have a fear of rejection. The the few times it has I really appreciated it. It showed me that she saw something she liked in me and she was willing to take a chance to meet me... It's not about game, it's about conversation. Whenever I approach a young lady, I just start a conversation with her. I try to show some of my personality, because in the end if she chooses to deal with me beyond our first meeting that's what she's gonna get. I always feel that I'm going to get/exchange numbers as well. Of course that doesn't always happen, but that's the confidence you've gotta have to even try. If I don't get the number or any interaction with her after we first meet, it's cool because I always feel that I can leave some sort of good impression with her. I try to leave her with a positive story to tell about me when she walks away (e.g. my conversation, cologne, making her laugh, the way I look
Good thoughts above. Simple to overcome in the beginning- smile and say hi really opens the door.
Sometimes its just those little things- appearing cheerful rather than sad or angry that can catch
an eye.
Like CT said conversation is key.
D
DigitalAngel2007
Guest
Maybe I just look like I'm on the prowl, but guys have no problem coming up to me
. Although when I was single and actually wanted the attention I had a hard time getting it.
. Although when I was single and actually wanted the attention I had a hard time getting it.
Just...damn...just...how can I put this nicely...
Some of ya'll are a little too picky about how brothers approach you.
All of us ain't Billy Dee. Me personally I have always approached women just naturally like...
"Hi I'm Hollawho. What's your name?"
or "Can I help you find something? or "Are you a _____ fan?" (if we are in a music store or something)
or "I think you are a beautiful woman. I just had to tell you that and see if you wouldn't mind a conversation with me."
You know just something to strike up convo. I'm good at the convo, but kind of plain on the approach. That last one is about as much game as I spit. If the girl reacts with some sense we can talk. But some of ya'll be like "Is that the best you got?" or "Is that all I get?"
And you kind of start to get a feel for the ones who will be like that.
My .02.
Some of ya'll are a little too picky about how brothers approach you.
All of us ain't Billy Dee. Me personally I have always approached women just naturally like...
"Hi I'm Hollawho. What's your name?"
or "Can I help you find something? or "Are you a _____ fan?" (if we are in a music store or something)
or "I think you are a beautiful woman. I just had to tell you that and see if you wouldn't mind a conversation with me."
You know just something to strike up convo. I'm good at the convo, but kind of plain on the approach. That last one is about as much game as I spit. If the girl reacts with some sense we can talk. But some of ya'll be like "Is that the best you got?" or "Is that all I get?"
And you kind of start to get a feel for the ones who will be like that.
My .02.
D
DigitalAngel2007
Guest
Can I just say one thing....
I was in a club a few months back (okay maybe a few years) and this guy asked to buy me a drink I told him I don't drink but he could buy my girls'. He gave the bartender five bucks and asked my girl to cover the rest
.
That shit was wack.
All I gotta say is you can start a convo with someone without offereing to pay for something and if you do offer. Pay for it. All of it!
I was in a club a few months back (okay maybe a few years) and this guy asked to buy me a drink I told him I don't drink but he could buy my girls'. He gave the bartender five bucks and asked my girl to cover the rest
. That shit was wack.
All I gotta say is you can start a convo with someone without offereing to pay for something and if you do offer. Pay for it. All of it!
Can I just say one thing....
I was in a club a few months back (okay maybe a few years) and this guy asked to buy me a drink I told him I don't drink but he could buy my girls'. He gave the bartender five bucks and asked my girl to cover the rest
That shit was wack.
All I gotta say is you can start a convo with someone without offereing to pay for something and if you do offer. Pay for it. All of it!
Man's P.O.V. - He was trying to get to know YOU, not your friend. That move made it seem as if your friend was just a broke chick trying to get men to buy her drinks and you weren't interested. Why should he buy her anything?
Another thing I'd like to add for the ladies of the board is that in most cases the way a man approaches you is directly related to the way you carry yourself. We can pick up on the vibe you present and make a decision on how to talk to you. Some guys are knuckleheads and don't give a damn, but most of us are able to see things in your presentation before approaching. If you have issues with guys talking/acting reckless toward you at some point you have to honestly assess yourself and the situation to see if you have contributed to it. If you can honestly say that it wasn't your fault, cool, but if you did have something to do with it it's time for a change. If you carry yourself in a classy, ladylike manner most men will approach you as such. You won't hear as many pick up lines and you'll get quality conversation. On the other hand if you're acting like a "hot ghetto mess" be prepared for all the things that come with that.
Its always like that for me. Then as soon as I have a man and am unavailable all kinda dudes coming at me from every direction and I'm like where the fuck were all of you 3 months agoAlthough when I was single and actually wanted the attention I had a hard time getting it.
Can I just say one thing....
I was in a club a few months back (okay maybe a few years) and this guy asked to buy me a drink I told him I don't drink but he could buy my girls'. He gave the bartender five bucks and asked my girl to cover the rest
That shit was wack.
All I gotta say is you can start a convo with someone without offereing to pay for something and if you do offer. Pay for it. All of it!
agreed...
but like i keep telling y'all and one day you'll listen fellas...
quit approaching women....let them see that you can do fine without them and they will be all in your facing proving that you can't be without them.
As a man, I wish MORE women would make the first move. It is very attractive to me when a woman asserts herself to speak to/approach me. It doesn't happen that much because I think most women have a fear of rejection. The the few times it has I really appreciated it. It showed me that she saw something she liked in me and she was willing to take a chance to meet me... It's not about game, it's about conversation. Whenever I approach a young lady, I just start a conversation with her. I try to show some of my personality, because in the end if she chooses to deal with me beyond our first meeting that's what she's gonna get. I always feel that I'm going to get/exchange numbers as well. Of course that doesn't always happen, but that's the confidence you've gotta have to even try. If I don't get the number or any interaction with her after we first meet, it's cool because I always feel that I can leave some sort of good impression with her. I try to leave her with a positive story to tell about me when she walks away (e.g. my conversation, cologne, making her laugh, the way I look
CO-MUTHAF'ING SIGN!!!!!!
Is this some sort of game men play or something? Luckily I'm not dating, where I have to worry about this, but I see all these men talking about," let women approach you," and "let them do all the work." I know men complain all the time about games women play, but isn't this a game that men are playing, as well, by, if they're interested in a woman, letting her do all the legwork? This one guy I dated put it perfectly for me when he said, "if you want to call/talk to someone, you will." It shouldn't be this, "let em see you're dong fine without them and they'll come chasing after you" mentality. Then again, it's just my opinion.
Bingo.
But most women will never realize this
If you carry yourself like a classy lady then you'll get approached as such. (Or only by men that will approach those types)
If you carry yourself like a groupie or sleeze, you'll get approached as such.
And some women always wondering why they get the "Aye lil mama what yo name is" approaches
THIS IS FOR DA SISTAS AND DA BROTHA'S...WHEN U ARE APPROACHED: STOP JUDGING A BOOK BY IT'S COVER...I KNOW THAT IS ELEMENTARY...BUT IT IS THE BASICS CAN GET YOU THRU...TRUST AND HAPPY HUNTING.
Me personally, if guys are talking about they don't approach women, they're either insecure or have low self esteem. What if the woman that you are checking for isn't checking for you? You going to act like a woman and keep trying to drop subtle hints hoping she'd say something? Or be a man and step to her and see what's up?
In most cases, if I woman is approaching YOU (the male) to holla, you best believe a scheme is brewing ahead
When I was younger, I usta think like dat...let her approached...but as I got a tid bit older..i discovered this: It is all how you approach, not so much that you approached...but some women can be so silly and we MEN, real MEN get tired of that shit too...So for awhile, I just laid in the cut and let them come to me and they did...but what I am saying is what everyone has been saying...if you have focus on what and why u are doing, it is all good. Finally to the brothas: pursue, never chase. Real men know the difference.
I wholeheartedly disagree. Sometimes a girl gets tired of waiting for the man to maybe holla or not. Once in a while, we simply see something we like thats too rare and special to not at least try and talk to. Nothing more, nothing less. No scheme involvedIn most cases, if I woman is approaching YOU (the male) to holla, you best believe a scheme is brewing ahead
I wholeheartedly disagree. Sometimes a girl gets tired of waiting for the man to maybe holla or not. Once in a while, we simply see something we like thats too rare and special to not at least try and talk to. Nothing more, nothing less. No scheme involved
Like the time you waited 5 years before you even said hello to a cat. 5 years of plotting sounds like a scheme to me
And I said MOST cases...Sometimes women have dominant personalities and feel the need to approach but if you think back to all the times you've approached a male, did anything of substance (more than SEX) amount from it? I'd say NO happened more than YES
Like the time you waited 5 years before you even said hello to a cat. 5 years of plotting sounds like a scheme to me
If being too shy to get up the nerve and watching all the fly girls and feeling uglier than them is a "scheme" then so be it
Me personally, if guys are talking about they don't approach women, they're either insecure or have low self esteem. What if the woman that you are checking for isn't checking for you? You going to act like a woman and keep trying to drop subtle hints hoping she'd say something? Or be a man and step to her and see what's up?
In most cases, if I woman is approaching YOU (the male) to holla, you best believe a scheme is brewing ahead
insecure? low self esteem? LOL
you really have little experience with interacting with women don't you?
me just being me minding my own has women coming at me from all angles some for the right reason most for the wrong reason.
and who said anything about dropping subtle hints....
it's a simple fact.
carry yourself in a certain manner and women will flock to you. try and play that "i got game" attitude you'll be chasing after all types of women...
The woman i am dating now, (5 years older than me) actually approached me. We met thru a mutual friend a little over three years ago at a local keyclub in NC. I was visiting from out of town and she just happen to show up that night, we had small talk, nothing serious and at the end of the night we all went our seperate ways. Now fast forward 3 years. Im stopping by my boy crib in nc on my way up top (trip from atl to NJ) and im only there for one night. She finds out im in town and makes it her business to stop by that night. She was cool the first night we met so im thinking ok, she just comming by to see them, kick it for a few and have a drink or two. Well as the night progresses and the Henn gets in the system, Little comments start comming out about how ole girl been wanting to get with a me. She knew i was involved when i first came down and didnt want to say anything, so she waited, low and behold here i am 3 years later single. She made her move, told me she been waiting for 3 years. Instead of relocating to the dirty jerz like i planned, i went home, visited family, then bailed out back to nc and relocated here. Things been all gravy since. She truely treats a brotha like a king. Even when i try to get her not too. So women do approach men, some just choose what they see as the right time.
i said let women approach you, not let women do all of the work. It's not about playing games but women approaching you have already sized you up rather then me having to do anything at all.
that "women are the prize" just doesn't cut it with me... when i was single i was the bigger prize.
How does a woman see that they can do fine without you while you're in a mall or any other random place?
This seems to only apply when someone sees you on a regular basis.
1. you won't catch me in a mall unless the mrs drags me out to macy's (i hate macy's
)2. women that try to talk to me are usually in the same places so it's not so much random...
3 and it's not women that you necessarily see on a regular basis. a lot of times women who wouldn't have thought nothing of me after a few minutes of convo do a 180....
Yes,I think I am but I dont know why
well (being in cleveland), describe the avg kat that does try to approach you scorpio....
Its always like that for me. Then as soon as I have a man and am unavailable all kinda dudes coming at me from every direction and I'm like where the fuck were all of you 3 months ago
The brothers were always there and will be always there. A woman will always have men about her trying to get it.
You prolly have standards and would have rejected most of those men anyway. Nothing wrong with that too!
Single women despairing?
A butt ugly bloated hooker will get attention and a pleasant educated woman can't???
Are you smiling back at brothers? Are you being warm and not stuck up? I have seen some the angriest faces on women who complain about being single. Who wants to approach an angry looking person???
:yes
To all frutrated single women, next time you see a nice looking brother- smile and and look at him in a desirable way. If you do this right, he's bound to approach you and mirror your interest
The list of criteria that people have for partners reduces as you age. Suddenly all those average people that you rejected will seem appealing. But they have all moved on and are married or in relationships and that's on you
Its the exact opposite for me.
Maybe that's whay you are not in a relationship? If not,then you are the exception and I am pleased for you
But, I know a lot of sistas who now don't mind if a dude has sidekids or lives with his moms or even has a job
So long as they can be his 'woman' and have status!
Whereas before they were looking for the text book and baggage free brother.
And if they want kids- they get even more desperate. That clock is ticking
My old gf gave me her number- she worked in a bank.
I did not see that coming. Total suprise
Dated for about a year. Should have married her
What a bloody idiot
Maybe that's whay you are not in a relationship? If not,then you are the exception and I am pleased for you
But, I know a lot of sistas who now don't mind if a dude has sidekids or lives with his moms or even has a job
Its exactly these types of things that I have less and less tolerance for the older I get and theres alot more along those lines I can add to the list. I see more signs indicative of bad things alot faster too. I used to give chances to people like 3 strikes your out. Fuck that I don't have time to play baseball no more. I cut it off before the first strike even happens. I can see it coming.