Ladies...what puts a guy in the FRIENDZONE?
can a guy ever get out of it?
what can we do to AVOID the FRIENDZONE?
can a guy ever get out of it?
what can we do to AVOID the FRIENDZONE?
the FRIENDZONE
- Thread starter geechiedan
- Start date
Since I am a girl... I know all about the friend zone...
This is going to sound weird but...treat her as a real friend.
Some women don't like pressure, so if you treat them as a friend, meaning you don't drop everything you are doing to every time they call to talk, you holla at her friends and you talk to her about other girls you are dating and hitting... she will be confused.
There have been many a man put in the friendzone because he came too hard at me without even knowing me... that is a put off because in essence they are dissing me if they so adamantly want to be with something that they know nothing about...they seem thirsty.
In short... don't seem thirsty to avoid the friendzone.
This is going to sound weird but...treat her as a real friend.
Some women don't like pressure, so if you treat them as a friend, meaning you don't drop everything you are doing to every time they call to talk, you holla at her friends and you talk to her about other girls you are dating and hitting... she will be confused.
There have been many a man put in the friendzone because he came too hard at me without even knowing me... that is a put off because in essence they are dissing me if they so adamantly want to be with something that they know nothing about...they seem thirsty.
In short... don't seem thirsty to avoid the friendzone.
If a woman aint feeling you, there is nothing you can do.
Extremely easy,
DON'T BE HER FRIEND!!! Period. End of story.
If their is an attraction for someone and the the attraction isn't mutual then the worse thing you can do is enter into a friendship with said person. It's simply too much pain, drama, awkwardness, and false hope.
I tend to see a lot of females guilty of this. There was a thread on the topic in SOL I think and there were a couple of females who admitted to abusing the power they had over a male friend who they knew wanted to be with them.
Simply put...IT DOESN'T WORK!
Here is a previous discussion on it:
http://www.bgol.us/board/showthread.php?t=202908&highlight=friend+zone
Spend the saved time with someone with mutual feelings.
DON'T BE HER FRIEND!!! Period. End of story.
If their is an attraction for someone and the the attraction isn't mutual then the worse thing you can do is enter into a friendship with said person. It's simply too much pain, drama, awkwardness, and false hope.
I tend to see a lot of females guilty of this. There was a thread on the topic in SOL I think and there were a couple of females who admitted to abusing the power they had over a male friend who they knew wanted to be with them.
Simply put...IT DOESN'T WORK!
Here is a previous discussion on it:
http://www.bgol.us/board/showthread.php?t=202908&highlight=friend+zone
Spend the saved time with someone with mutual feelings.
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be friendly but don't be her friend...
women DO NOT reward sensitivity and loyalty with sex....
women DO NOT reward sensitivity and loyalty with sex....
Too true...What's worse...to me, is when you THINK they should be feelin ya. and they try to put ya in the friend zone
Which is what usually puts you in the friend zone to begin with, because, as the woman would say later, "You did not come across as though you were interested in me as more than a friend."
True
So to sum it up . . . You cannot be friendly towards a woman you meet, because it will put you in the friend zone. . . If you are friendly, but not her friend she may think you are coming too hard at her and will not deal with you at all . . . But women complain that the one thing they want their boyfriend/partner to be is their friend . . .
Looks like a no win situation for the guys
Too true...What's worse...to me, is when you THINK they should be feelin ya. and they try to put ya in the friend zone
I have been in the friendzone before and what used to make me mad was hearing her talk about the guy she wants and basically describing me but yet she continues to over look me. And more times than not, if you are put in the friendzone, that is not a real friendship anyway so I dont really bother with it. If she dont want me, then I dont trip. I wont be mean or nothing to her but I aint gonna be the "fix it" guy, or the "give me a ride here" guy, or the "this other no good nigga did me wrong and I wanna cry to you about it" guy either. Friendship, like anything else, goes both ways.
I always that was the layaway plan...I assume MOST women have a few dudes on layaway.I put dudes in the friend zone if I'm currently talkin to someone else. That way when things go wrong I have that loyal friend to fall back on. Never know... the one who started out the friend can end up the love of my life
A man and a woman cannot be friends, one of you wants to fuck the other. I'm sorry, it's true. Unless both of you are unattractive and aren't feeling each other or one of you has something the other one needs(car, lots of money, nice house, etc). The only opposite sex friends you have that are TRULY your friend are the ones you made before you became sexually aware.
i've fucked plenty of friends after they got comfortable around me.
having them confide in me about their current situation then fucking me right afterwards.
it didn't always work out in my favor but it did enough for me to know it's not bad always being a frien
having them confide in me about their current situation then fucking me right afterwards.
it didn't always work out in my favor but it did enough for me to know it's not bad always being a frien
That's true being a friend might be a gift, not a curse.
AlexandMorgan
Banned
When a woman starts telling you about the guys she is fucking you have been typecast as a confidante. Most women are never comfortable getting into a relationship with a man who knows too much about them so your rarely end up progressing in the relationship.
If she wants to be friends first and is fucking other guys then you have your answer. If she knows she has a man when you 'spit game' at her and she tries to put you on the layaway plan
. Anytime a woman had to define your relationship then you have problems in my opinion because i believe a woman knows if she is about you with minutes of meeting you or talking to you. Sometimes you may have to win her over but that is what dating is about getting to know one another.
I have no problems with female friends i will call them about once a month or three because the time in my life is reserved for my main chick
. P.S the women who i have met who like to call me friend i only hear them when they WANT something and it is never dick so i keep them at a distance.
Kissing a girl's ass and doing everything she wants will get you in the friendzone fa really
How Does a man get in the friendzone?
a) The woman wasn't attracted to him from the jump. (But this can be changed through other assets such as personality, attitude, humor, "good game", etc..)
b) Being a simp aka "Puts the pussy on a pedastle"... giving too much effort.... putting all your cards out too fast.
How to get out of the friendzone?
a) charge it to the game and keep it moving. No one is ever "too important". There's alot of woman out there... don't treat her like "she is legend"... the only one.
b) Put her in the friendzone. Like Chris Rock said, everyone woman has been offered dick since when they can remember. If you appear to not "want to fuck her", then it throws her off. Woman want and are use to that attention. Space out your calling habits. If you call her everyday, call her once a week. Keep the convo short and always make like you have to get off to do something more important. Getting her to the point where she's like "Wtf?" and then starts calling you. Also, instead of "hey sexy", "hey luv", "hey there".. or whatever normal way you address her, start referring her as "hey buddy!" or "hey homie!"... treat her like she's one of your boys. Start talking about other girls your talking to. Tell her about a date you had the night before. If you ain't talking to no one or didn't have a date, make one up. Just don't appear desperate. By putting her in the friendzone, she'll get her shit together and try to reclaim her pedastle... but the point is don't put her on a pedastle. She might think she's on it, but actions speak louder then words... YOU DON'T PUT HER ON IT. If she still doesn't snap out of it after all of this, fuck it. Keep it moving. You need a girl that ain't about the bullshit... move on to the next one and learn from your mistake. But seriously, this whole concept of reversing the friendzone has always worked for me.
----------
When I was younger (back in high school), I was put in the friendzone a few times. Nowadays, NEVER! If I see myself swaying to it... I just switch it up a bit and then I'm on the upperhand again.
For example.. my last "backsliding"
True story... I met this DIME before I moved to Houston (met her back at home). Now when I mean by DIME.. she was gorgeous, banging body, cooks, luxury apt., audi A4, growing career, "classy" appearance... the whole package. Well we exchanged numbers one of the times I went back for a weekend.. I bumped into her at a club. I plan on a moving back... so I was trying to keep her on hold. So we would call each other... got along great. Then I actually caught myself slipping... calling her little too much (yes I was feeling her). Like 10% simping actions. Then I started notice she was taking advantage of it. So I was like fuck this... drew back a little. Stop calling. When we spoke.. I treated her like a "Friend". So now she texts me like every 2-3 weeks asking the same question every time..... "So when you coming back?" I either a) don't reply or b) reply at my own time. She still texts...
If you see yourself slipping (and we all do now and then), get yourself out quick as possible. Sooner the better... The more deep you get in the friendzone, the harder it is to get out......... But you can get out. All those girls that put me in the friendzone in high school, I either fuck them years later or they be on my shit.
a) The woman wasn't attracted to him from the jump. (But this can be changed through other assets such as personality, attitude, humor, "good game", etc..)
b) Being a simp aka "Puts the pussy on a pedastle"... giving too much effort.... putting all your cards out too fast.
How to get out of the friendzone?
a) charge it to the game and keep it moving. No one is ever "too important". There's alot of woman out there... don't treat her like "she is legend"... the only one.
b) Put her in the friendzone. Like Chris Rock said, everyone woman has been offered dick since when they can remember. If you appear to not "want to fuck her", then it throws her off. Woman want and are use to that attention. Space out your calling habits. If you call her everyday, call her once a week. Keep the convo short and always make like you have to get off to do something more important. Getting her to the point where she's like "Wtf?" and then starts calling you. Also, instead of "hey sexy", "hey luv", "hey there".. or whatever normal way you address her, start referring her as "hey buddy!" or "hey homie!"... treat her like she's one of your boys. Start talking about other girls your talking to. Tell her about a date you had the night before. If you ain't talking to no one or didn't have a date, make one up. Just don't appear desperate. By putting her in the friendzone, she'll get her shit together and try to reclaim her pedastle... but the point is don't put her on a pedastle. She might think she's on it, but actions speak louder then words... YOU DON'T PUT HER ON IT. If she still doesn't snap out of it after all of this, fuck it. Keep it moving. You need a girl that ain't about the bullshit... move on to the next one and learn from your mistake. But seriously, this whole concept of reversing the friendzone has always worked for me.
----------
When I was younger (back in high school), I was put in the friendzone a few times. Nowadays, NEVER! If I see myself swaying to it... I just switch it up a bit and then I'm on the upperhand again.
For example.. my last "backsliding"
True story... I met this DIME before I moved to Houston (met her back at home). Now when I mean by DIME.. she was gorgeous, banging body, cooks, luxury apt., audi A4, growing career, "classy" appearance... the whole package. Well we exchanged numbers one of the times I went back for a weekend.. I bumped into her at a club. I plan on a moving back... so I was trying to keep her on hold. So we would call each other... got along great. Then I actually caught myself slipping... calling her little too much (yes I was feeling her). Like 10% simping actions. Then I started notice she was taking advantage of it. So I was like fuck this... drew back a little. Stop calling. When we spoke.. I treated her like a "Friend". So now she texts me like every 2-3 weeks asking the same question every time..... "So when you coming back?" I either a) don't reply or b) reply at my own time. She still texts...
If you see yourself slipping (and we all do now and then), get yourself out quick as possible. Sooner the better... The more deep you get in the friendzone, the harder it is to get out......... But you can get out. All those girls that put me in the friendzone in high school, I either fuck them years later or they be on my shit.
This is what brothaz fail to realize. There is nothing necessarily wrong with being 'friendly' with a female, being in the 'friendzone', or just being buddies with a chick. In the long run, at least for me, it pays off. Females can sometime be some of the most jealous creatures at times. Take your 'friend' to the club/bar with you [if shes average to highly attractive] and watch what kind of attention you recieve from the other ladies there. They'll see you and your 'friend' laughing, talking, vibing, and having a good time and that attracts them...they ultimately want to be that girl. If you don't leave out of there with at least a couple of 'potentials' numbers then you're probaly hopeless. On the other hand, your 'friend' sees that you're getting all this attention from the other ladies at the club/bar and all of a sudden is willing to do whatever to achieve your undivided attention. This is a win/win situation fellas.
Warning. The above only works if your are 'friendly' with the young lady and are not this females 'flunky'. DO NOT play the 'flunky' role with a female or she will never respect you and will take advantage of you. Whats the flunky role? Coming off that you are thirsty, being overly available for this young lady, always answering phone calls/emails/text msgs, being her servent, always paying for drinks or dinner, basically being at her beck and call...this is not 'friendly' behavior, these symptoms reek of desperateness. Chill out brah, show that you're interested but never act like you're thirsty. Make your conversations as those you have with your boys. Discuss other females/sexual conquest in her presence. It will all work itelf out if she's interested, if not, you have a 'friend' who u can kick it with/have drinks with and you've met about 10 other broads as a result of you guys being 'friends'.
Half of the females that I've slept with started out being 'friends' with me.
Really I have a couple of men who are just my friends that I would have loved to be with. But since they never told me they wanted to get with me, I assumed they didn't and we became just friends. So if you are interested in dating a woman, take a chance and let her know because you both might be missing out
Thats is my exact point right there. Alot of times women wanna put a dude in the friendzone and only call when she need something but wont be there when you need something. That aint a friend. Thats why I only have maybe 2 female friends that I can really count on. All the other women are associates that I am friendly with but thats it.
Best thing that used to work (way back in the day) for me to determine if I had any chance was to either smoke or drink with a "friend."
Pop in a flick (younger years) or just spark up a convo about sex.
Let that liquid courage work for you my friend.
The first time that she says some shit like "niggas/men don't know how to do _____" let her know that you do.
Or tell her that girls don't let you do _________ (mine was pull their hair when fucking from behind which was a lie).
Whatever she say that she isn't getting that she likes tell her that you can fill the void, literally.
She's either going to blush, call you on it or tell you that she don't think of you like that.
Being told that she doesn't see you like that is a tough pill to swallow especially if you're not in your right mind but at least you know not to waste anymore time on her.
But don't discount her though because one thing that women (normally) have is other homegirls and she can tell you about each one of them, especially the rats and hook you up.
What the poster above said about taking a homegirl to the club or just out is true too.
For some reason people think that I'm innocent (
) so it's really easy for me to get "friends" comfortable.
Once they're comfortable the sky is the limit I've normally had success especially when I say what I'm really thinking and they think that I'm playing when I'm serious.
I had one of my homegirls tell me that she didn't realize that I wasn't an angel until I had her ass naked in my bedroom.
We can be friends alright but don't expect for me to do shit for you that requires me driving or coming out of pocket.
Only problem with fucking friends is if she is a good friend you might lose her if it don't work out.
That hurts more than being rejected.
Pop in a flick (younger years) or just spark up a convo about sex.
Let that liquid courage work for you my friend.
The first time that she says some shit like "niggas/men don't know how to do _____" let her know that you do.
Or tell her that girls don't let you do _________ (mine was pull their hair when fucking from behind which was a lie).
Whatever she say that she isn't getting that she likes tell her that you can fill the void, literally.
She's either going to blush, call you on it or tell you that she don't think of you like that.
Being told that she doesn't see you like that is a tough pill to swallow especially if you're not in your right mind but at least you know not to waste anymore time on her.
But don't discount her though because one thing that women (normally) have is other homegirls and she can tell you about each one of them, especially the rats and hook you up.
What the poster above said about taking a homegirl to the club or just out is true too.
For some reason people think that I'm innocent (
) so it's really easy for me to get "friends" comfortable.Once they're comfortable the sky is the limit I've normally had success especially when I say what I'm really thinking and they think that I'm playing when I'm serious.
I had one of my homegirls tell me that she didn't realize that I wasn't an angel until I had her ass naked in my bedroom.
We can be friends alright but don't expect for me to do shit for you that requires me driving or coming out of pocket.
Only problem with fucking friends is if she is a good friend you might lose her if it don't work out.
That hurts more than being rejected.
The friend zone is the worst when both people want to fuck each other. I know it sounds weird, but me and my homegirl are like this. We have been friends since like the first week in the dorms at school, and I've smashed before on friends with benefits level. The part that baffles me is that through all the jealousy, arguments, and other bullshit that goes along with these kind of relationships, we still kick it. I went to visit her this weekend, and was getting just showered with compliments from her family and friends about shit only she could have told them. I think with us its just different, because I'm not the typical friend who on some captain save a ho type of shit. I'm not trying to get into her pants because I've already been there. When I roll into town from school on weekends, I'll hit her up and we will grab a few drinks or dinner, but I will end up rolling out with my boys and she goes to the club or whatever. She always invites me, but I usually decline, not because I don't want to hang out with her, but rather because I want to go to the bar, watch the game and talk shit with my niggas. At this point in my life, I could see myself with her at some point, but for now, there is no need to fuck up a good thing
Funny I got a card from a "friend" that said.....Thanks for being so
nice to me and not wanting nothing in return."
I laughed to myself I was thinking she cant be serious.
then she kicked in a nice lil' designer gift with the card
.
Shit through me way off. I've been helping ol girl out.... picked her up from the airport when her girls left her hangin. helped fix stuff in her house etc.....
I got her going with a back and neck massage one night shorty was zonein
really was trying to relax her up..... she stop me. I end up going home
empty handed I text her.."you know I got u moist quit frontin"
she sent me a text talking about "don't you know I went a year
without a man?"...she was like "I can handle this end"
(bascally she holds toy party's and got a gang of toys)
I was like" them toys can't keep you warm though"...... she then replied.....
"depends on which one I choose?
damn see I can't win here.
I've cut waaaaay back on our interaction. . I have lost a great deal of
interest in her. She wants me to be a friend and wants to tease me too
oh hell to the naw
nice to me and not wanting nothing in return."
I laughed to myself I was thinking she cant be serious.
then she kicked in a nice lil' designer gift with the card
. Shit through me way off. I've been helping ol girl out.... picked her up from the airport when her girls left her hangin. helped fix stuff in her house etc.....
I got her going with a back and neck massage one night shorty was zonein
really was trying to relax her up..... she stop me. I end up going home
empty handed I text her.."you know I got u moist quit frontin"
she sent me a text talking about "don't you know I went a year
without a man?"...she was like "I can handle this end"
(bascally she holds toy party's and got a gang of toys)
I was like" them toys can't keep you warm though"...... she then replied.....
"depends on which one I choose?
damn see I can't win here.I've cut waaaaay back on our interaction. . I have lost a great deal of
interest in her. She wants me to be a friend and wants to tease me too
oh hell to the naw
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When a woman starts telling you about the guys she is fucking you have been typecast as a confidante. Most women are never comfortable getting into a relationship with a man who knows too much about them so your rarely end up progressing in the relationship.
If she wants to be friends first and is fucking other guys then you have your answer. If she knows she has a man when you 'spit game' at her and she tries to put you on the layaway plan
Anytime a woman had to define your relationship then you have problems in my opinion because i believe a woman knows if she is about you with minutes of meeting you or talking to you. Sometimes you may have to win her over but that is what dating is about getting to know one another.
I have no problems with female friends i will call them about once a month or three because the time in my life is reserved for my main chick
P.S the women who i have met who like to call me friend i only hear them when they WANT something and it is never dick so i keep them at a distance.[/QUOTE]
The truth
When a woman starts telling you about the guys she is fucking you have been typecast as a confidante. Most women are never comfortable getting into a relationship with a man who knows too much about them so your rarely end up progressing in the relationship.
If she wants to be friends first and is fucking other guys then you have your answer. If she knows she has a man when you 'spit game' at her and she tries to put you on the layaway plan
Anytime a woman had to define your relationship then you have problems in my opinion because i believe a woman knows if she is about you with minutes of meeting you or talking to you. Sometimes you may have to win her over but that is what dating is about getting to know one another.
I have no problems with female friends i will call them about once a month or three because the time in my life is reserved for my main chick
P.S the women who i have met who like to call me friend i only hear them when they WANT something and it is never dick so i keep them at a distance.[/QUOTE]
The truth
Indeed. A chick messed me around like this and now
the relationship is over because she treated me like a utility nigga
Stupid cow
I can handle rejection- but don't waste my fucking time with flirting and innuendo if you ain't ready to give it up
That's how women get stalkers
So true. I darted around a chick for years. I finally manned up and told her how I felt. One week later I am hittin that
Then I dumped her stinky pussy ass
That'll teach her to leave me with blue balls
every girl is diff, u gotta always evaluate the situation and make adjustments thats if u wanna smash.
You played yourself hommie. If she was describing you then she was dropping hints. You should have approached her.
I've never had a problem when men put me in the friend zone.
Not everyone is meant to be your lover/SO.
Not everyone is meant to be your lover/SO.
AlexandMorgan
Banned
Indeed. A chick messed me around like this and now
the relationship is over because she treated me like a utility nigga
Stupid cow
I can handle rejection- but don't waste my fucking time with flirting and innuendo if you ain't ready to give it up
Watch the music video and listen to what Beres Hammond sings
[flash]http://www.youtube.com/v/eL3aGgW7JjU[/flash]