Ladies, The Smarter You Are, The More Likely You Are To Be Single

Camille

Kitchen Wench #TeamQuaid
Staff member
http://elitedaily.com/women/intelligent-women-likely-single/678309/




It’s a tough world out there… full of awkward first dates, bad sex and limited chances at orgasms. Women now associate the dating landscape with the same risks many face going into the arctic tundra. It’s cold, uncomfortable and it’s more than likely that you’ll die before getting that fire lit.

After years of bad trips and valuable packing lessons, we go in a little more prepared each time. We’ve learned tips, tricks and lessons that could only be experienced firsthand, quickly learning the scams, the men who are just trying to swindle you and certain places we will just never go again.

We’ve changed our clothes, hair and grooming styles to fit the destination, yet there’s something we can’t seem to change that’s making the journey a treacherous hike. Something we can’t hide and something we refuse to keep at home. Something we won’t check at baggage claim or give up at customs.

Unfortunately, for women, intelligence many times hinders our travels and keeps us from the promise land. Because, for all you bright and educated women out there, what you feel is real… intelligent women are more likely to be single.

The popular saying “ignorance is bliss” doesn’t exactly cover the broad spectrum of woes women feel as they sit alone Friday nights with no one to discuss Nietzsche or read lines from Proust with.

It doesn’t assuage a woman’s pain as her parents ask where her boyfriend is and why she can’t find a nice guy.

The saying should be something closer to “ignorant women get the man and intelligent women never feel bliss.”

But why is this? Why don’t men want women with whom they can converse and who challenge them? When did the aversion to strong and intelligent women become a code orange? When did everyone just want to go to the Bahamas and lie around?

In an article by “The Wire,” financial reporter, John Carney, gives one explanation for this phenomenon, deducing, “successful men date less successful women not because they want ‘women to be dumb’ but rather because they want ‘someone who prioritizes their life in a way that’s compatible with how you prioritize yours.’”

Basically, they want someone who isn’t ever going to let her career come before making dinner and pleasing them first.

They want a woman who is dumb enough to make them a priority and, unfortunately, for all those sane, rational and intelligent women out there, there’s a hefty number of these women out there.

There are plenty of women who will give up their lives for men, who will refuse to challenge them, fight them and refuse to see them as their equals, but their saviors.

Then again, deciding what kind of woman you are is like choosing between a rock and a hard place. If you’re stupid, you’re not taken seriously, but if you’re smart, you’re taken too seriously. Women everywhere are flailing under this double-edged sword. A beautiful, attractive female isn’t desirable for her mind, and those with strong characters are seen as threatening, masculine and undesirable.

A study conducted with 121 British participants reported findings that females with high intelligence in male/female relationships were seen as problematic.

Their intelligence were predicted to cause problems in the relationships. Whereas, high intelligence in the male partner was not seen as problematic, but desirable.

These cultural stereotypes and gender biases are inhibiting women from being seen as equals. Rational and educated women are being ignored and chastised for their intelligence.

Those women who teach you, show you and help you grow are being picked over, combed through and dumped for girls with shirts that show a little too much skin and platform heels.

Of course there are plenty of women out there with boyfriends who are intelligent. This is not to come at women with boyfriends, but to assuage that nagging, pestering pain all intelligent women feel as men continually take them out to dinner, have a great time then decide they’re not worth the work.
First really is the worst

There’s an epidemic of settling in this generation. Women everywhere are dipping far below their standards just to find men who appreciate them. They are giving up things they thought they wanted for nothing more than a simple “he’s good to me.”

Where’s the man who was supposed to challenge you and understand you? Where’s the man who was supposed to shock you and support you?

In an article by “The Daily Mail,” Minister of Universities David Willetts asserts, “Successful women will have to ‘marry down’ by choosing partners less qualified than them – and may increasingly select men based on how supportive they might be to their careers, rather than whether they can support them financially.”

Judging from the notion that male egos aren’t deflating at the same rate at which women are increasing their education, there’s an uneven scale here. Women are getting smarter, but men aren’t getting more supportive.

Most people like to be the better one in the relationship. Men have been taught or conditioned to believe they are superior, when a woman shows a competitive edge, he becomes threatened.

The number of college-educated women now outweighs the number of college-educated men, which in turn has diminished options in the dating pool. Men aren’t ready to accept being second in the bread-winning competition and this is causing women to either settle or stay single.
You forget to eat the whole cake

Intelligence breeds ambition, which breeds neglect. Neglect for love, boyfriends and years spent pursuing that MRS Degree. Neglect in college, focusing on studies rather than finding a man and neglect at work, refusing to spend nights out at bars and clubs.

Unfortunately, for all those women who thought a man would come later, other women capitalized on their youth, snatching up all the boyfriends and husbands while they focused on building their careers.

Women went into college with an intent to come out wives, slowly but steadily snatching up the number of available men for all those women who chose to attack their professional dreams.

This phenomenon only increases as women leave college. Becoming frustrated with their lack of love and work harder in achieving professional success to fill the void. Dr. Alex Banner of “The Huffington Post” explains that women are compensating for their unsuccessful dating careers with successful professional careers, and it’s only widening the gap.
Big minds are like big balls

You may be sensitive, sweet and insecure, but your intelligence makes you threatening. You may not have muscles and a big d*ck, but men will look at you as competition.

You are intimidating and emasculating. While most intelligent women aren’t pompous or arrogant about it, many times men assume they are. They assume the woman is going to correct them, upstage them or, God-forbid, make them feel worthless.

In an article published by “The Daily Beast,” Dr. Eileen Pollack explains, “There are all these contradictions that are propagated in our culture that make it seem like you can’t be smart and sexy. I don’t think most of us challenge the paradigms, we just absorb them.”

If a woman seems too smart or accomplished, she’s typecast as “non-dating material.” If she’s witty and competitive, she’s viewed as challenging and overbearing. Society has come to teach women that being funny and smart won’t get you dates, but empty heads and shallow hearts.


_____

Saw this on my facebook timeline. I can post the facebook comments if anyone is interested. There are a couple of links embedded throughout the article @ the sourcelink.
 
1.

Western civilizations are spending way to much time on trying to figure out romantic relationships between the genders.

What happened to writing some poetry and moving on?

Oh yeah, society is is so dumbed down and lacking the facilities of expression, they are unable to do more than post their business on social media and call in to morning talk shows to ask the most gormless of questions they already know the answers to.

2.

Basically, they want someone who isn’t ever going to let her career come before making dinner and pleasing them first.

They want a woman who is dumb enough to make them a priority and, unfortunately, for all those sane, rational and intelligent women out there, there’s a hefty number of these women out there.


Bassakwards.

Considering most women have offspring, financial resource needs, insatiable fears and destructive insecurities I submit . . . men seeking companionship are forced to give THEMSELVES up to be absorbed into such a situation.

3.

What is intelligence, what makes you smart? It would seem for the purpose of this article it is connected to career, yes.

A career does not make you intelligent, nor does it make you anymore deserving of anything.
 
Yep. Pretty much. The trick i think is to just adjust your vision. Find a man who appreciates you for what you have. What you're capable of. A guy who's not threatened by you. But embraces that part of you. The drawback is that a man who can do that is very few and far. Life is short. Find happiness with yourself if you're not with a chosen mate. Find happiness in the world out there. Fulfill yourself with cultures of others.

I'll repost this. Thanks Camille. Post your comments
 
I don't think it's a matter of how smart a woman is but in all this acquiring of knowledge does she learn how to relate to men in a personal way that would make them want to marry her?
Smart men want smart women. I knew a guy who was very smart (unfortunately he threw a lot of that away using his intelligence to be a drug dealer) but he kept picking women that were visually appealing (to him, I always thought them broads were busted) but dumb as bricks. Each time, I knew it wasn't going to last because I knew that after he got past the physical, there would be nothing left and he would get bored.
That's most men. It does take some time to mature and get that. The same way it's said that women like "bad boys", men like "hot chicks". Just like you all have to grow out of it, so do we and in both cases it will be by trial and error.
 
Ahhh.... Don't really agree with that article. I mean nobody likes a know it all. At first it's cute and stimulating that this person has such a vast knowledge on a particular subject, but after a while you wanna tell that other person to shut. THE FUCK. up. :smh: so I think it's just how it's presented to the opposite sex, because u never want to make the person u care for feel less than what they are.

Sent from my SPH-L720 using Tapatalk
 
I don't think it's a matter of how smart a woman is but in all this acquiring of knowledge does she learn how to relate to men in a personal way that would make them want to marry her?
Smart men want smart women. I knew a guy who was very smart (unfortunately he threw a lot of that away using his intelligence to be a drug dealer) but he kept picking women that were visually appealing (to him, I always thought them broads were busted) but dumb as bricks. Each time, I knew it wasn't going to last because I knew that after he got past the physical, there would be nothing left and he would get bored.
That's most men. It does take some time to mature and get that. The same way it's said that women like "bad boys", men like "hot chicks". Just like you all have to grow out of it, so do we and in both cases it will be by trial and error.

Yes. My part with that is don't look for a husband. We're STILL taught "you can't be whole without a man. You can't be happy without a man."

It's not something i believe in. As a woman you CAN be happy with yourself. The goal shouldn't be a HUSBAND. The goal should be fulfillment in your self. And if along the way you can help the world by a bit you've done pretty damn good in my book.
 
I'll repost this. Thanks Camille. Post your comments


The link and discussion was from someone else's facebook page. There were only 50-60 comments so I posted them all. I think all the responders were women, since men like to know what we say amongst ourselves. I changed the names to initials. Here are the comments:

JL Story of my life...lol. But the basis of this article is somewhat flawed as you said. A lot of smart women I know are coupled. And the fact that men find smart women to be threatening makes them look bad, need I say weak.
Yesterday at 6:01am · Edited · Like · 22

CM Real Talk!!!! I wonder why. I can't help it if my IQ is 116.
Yesterday at 6:09am · Edited · Like · 6

CC The premise is spot on but the writing and logic is terrible. I hate to be hateful so early in the am but I don't think this writer fits in to the category she thinks she does.

Just like men - intelligence does not equal strong - you can be a genius and have a weak or even just a peace-making personality.

Also it's interesting that she writes from a rah-rah feminist pov but views a man who makes less as marrying down. Is a woman making less a step down for a man?

Anyway, there's more that aggravated me since I went into it looking for solidarity but I don't want to write a whole wall of text here LOL.
Yesterday at 6:50am · Like · 12


TE I was just ranting on this yesterday. Lately this is my life. I had one relationship with another intelligent man and this wasn't the case. Since he was truly intelligent. But lately most of the men I've encountered are dumb as a box of rocks
Yesterday at 7:17am · Like · 13


BD This article makes sense, and I'm glad the author states "more likely," not 'always the case.' She says many smart women are coupled up but it's an increasing problem -- and she's right. Census data, national college and grad school statistics when viewed with marriage stats prove that many women are 'marrying down' but, unfortunately, it's a bigger problem in the Black community as women make greater educational and career strides while men are slipping behind...Yet another reason (as if more are needed) for Black women to broaden those horizons on all levels. No woman should be stuck with a weak man who has about as much sense (and ambition) as a bag of hair.
Yesterday at 7:38am · Like · 18


VY WOW` IM OK" WITH IT" LONG AS MY CHILDREN., ARE HAPPY" AND HEALTHY` Forget., a dude` they ungrateful`!¡ ¥
Yesterday at 7:45am · Like · 3


JL Yes... I know this.
Yesterday at 7:52am · Like · 3


PN Story of my life. I don't have a degree yet but I do consider myself intelligent.
Yesterday at 7:53am · Like · 5

SRB I agree somewhat. I find that when a woman is balanced and knows what she wants and knows how to get it, she will have a man, is she so desires. Having degrees does not make one intelligent.
Yesterday at 8:21am · Like · 5


DM I disagree with this article. Most intelligent women are not single because men don't like your intelligence. It's because men don't like your abrasive, presumptuous attitude that you have developed because of your (sometimes inflated) view of how awesome and smart you are. He correctly concludes that he would rather spend his time with a much more humble and interesting woman who can see past her own resume and into the heart of a man. Men love intelligence. But not when that's all you have to offer. He is looking for a woman to give him something that he doesn't get at the office all day. He's looking for a WOMAN. A lot of women today have the aura of a man in a dress. No vibrancy, playfulness or feminine joy. You quote some facts from a book you read and then call it intelligence. Ha!
Yesterday at 8:23am · Edited · Like · 11


DM The 1st myth any woman should get rid of that she has about men is that you intimidate him. Lol. You're not taller than him. You're not stronger than him. And you can't kick his butt. He's not intimidated by you hun. He may be turned off that instead of relaxing on the date and receiving the special treatment he wants to give, you are too caught up in trying to remember the right thing to say, the right statistic to quote and trying to impress him with your summer reading list. A man can feel when a woman's energy is in the mode of giving instead of receiving. If you can't receive from a man, he will take his services elsewhere. Why does not being able to receive hurt you? Because a man comes to see you not as the goddess who knows she is worthy but as the servant who has something to prove. Men look for little clues on a date. They look at your need to argue over whose directions were better, at your need to debate the quality of the restaurant, at your need to direct the waiter, the chef, and the valet boy. When you do these things, it's not because you know the current state of fiat currency that he chose not to further pursue you. It's because you feel like another man to him, even though you're wearing a dress. Men are smarter than we give them credit for. They run away from your bad attempts at acting like a man, not your intelligence.
Yesterday at 8:34am · Like · 5


CM ...it's like a woman who is 'mansplaining' to us?? Lol ^^
Yesterday at 8:36am · Like · 19


JL OMG CM' I was just thinking that! Smh. We're too smart and not feminine. Yes... That's it.
Yesterday at 8:38am · Like · 8


DM Lol. Well, men are wired differently than women. And that's not a bad thing. It's our differences that complement one another. But most American women don't really know about keeping a man. We haven't been taught those special skills and so we trip all over ourselves. A lot of these Asian women are running around here with PHDs and they still snag the cream of the crop. Some of us are running around here with 2 year degrees and blaming our inability to keep a man on our intelligence. Yea,ok. If you believe that, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you. Ha!
Yesterday at 8:41am · Edited · Like · 7


JF Maybe the guy is really trying to hint at just not bring into you too. Plain and simple.
Yesterday at 8:42am · Like · 1


CM Us American women are the problem! Voila! We've gone against nature and socially evolved and aspired and our male counterparts haven't caught on to that yet. What a horrible position we are in! Sigh! I wonder how those men in Sweden have managed to go against nature and value women with intelligence more than ones without..hmm! I need some more mansplaining!
Yesterday at 8:47am · Like · 15

EW Fuck this article. When I saw the title, I thought, "Yeah, intelligent people are generally better equipped to find flaws, which makes it difficult to be satisfied at work, in relationships, etc. Intelligent women may be single because of more discriminating tastes." Nope, the article was apparently written in the 50s (1850s, probably) and still applies an attitude toward men that is inherently sexist. This is not even close to how men think, and quoting a right-leaning tabloid like The Daily Mail only weakens your case. Fuck this article.
Yesterday at 8:47am · Like · 10


JL I was single in my 20s & 30s due to being childfree. Men want families, I did not. I don't think my degrees, attitude, etc had anything to do with that.
Yesterday at 8:48am · Like · 9


TE I'm one of the most humble people you find in life most of my close friends will tell you. Many men seek intelligent women to see how they measure up in the world. The woman is the yardstick for their own ego and power. Out talking and controlling her makes them feel prepared to compete in the world. A man is not supposed to out talk a woman. He is suppose to listen. Women are known by the ancients as 'wisdom'... When you seek wisdom you seek the Oracle (woman)
Yesterday at 8:48am · Like · 10


SRB I agree Delilah Marie. How "intelligent" are u if u want a man but can't get or keep him, yet u keep repeating the same formula?
Yesterday at 8:50am · Like · 3


SRB I can admit that I have felt as the writer of this article feels. Then I realized that maybe I don't trust men and maybe I should sit back and learn to trust and need them and maybe I will get better results. Bc the other way does not work, if u want to be married.
Yesterday at 8:55am · Like · 3

DM CM, American women are not a problem. American women simply don't put as much energy into understanding men as women, especially African women, do. From 5 years old,women in Senegal, Ghana, Mali,Rwanda, etc are taught the art of handling men. They are taught how to deal with conflict, ego, sex, etc. In other words, they are taught how to get the best out of a man. There are universal laws of womanhood that cannot be skipped or learned by osmosis. It is a process. I wish you every good thing on your journey dear.
Yesterday at 8:55am · Like · 4

TE SRB, intelligence does not guard one against bad relationships. The smartest men in the world Tesla Hawkins leedskalnin etc had relationship issues. Even the deities had issues. That is the result of spiritual issues not practical ones
Yesterday at 8:55am · Like · 5

TE The old school men used to say you can never win a argument with a woman, and you shouldn't want to. Women are wisdom the highest form of intelligence
Yesterday at 8:59am · Edited · Like · 8


DM SRB, exactly!! I have never understood why getting an education suddenly means that a woman becomes a saint who is above reproach or further teaching? There are many forms of education. A college degree is just the beginning. Men are one of the most complex creatures known to exist. You're gonna need a whole lot more than a couple of college lectures to know how to deal with them. And as you said, if your formula isn't working, wouldn't an intelligent woman begin to try another way?
Yesterday at 8:59am · Like · 3


DM SRB, you are on the right path dear! I definitely want to build with you
Yesterday at 9:00am · Like


CM That sucks that I live in a society where a good part of my education/upbringing is not dedicated to learning the 'arts of handling men'-- phewww, I wouldn't have had time for all my other pursuits for this silly ol' brain of mine. I demand to know why this wasn't in my HS curriculum! My education has done me a disservice. Le Sigh! Should have been learning about those universal laws of womanhood than those universal laws of gravity. Say, are those men who are raised in Iceland EXACTLY like those men raised in Saudi Arabia-- social mores/expectations must be the same.. hmm
Yesterday at 9:01am · Like · 9


SRB Shouldn't we learn it all? I like men a lot. and since I'm not one, if like to learn about them. They are an interesting group
Yesterday at 9:05am · Like · 5

CM I think a big point is being missed here is all
Yesterday at 9:06am · Like · 1


SRB I know that intelligence does not guard against bad relationships. Love is spiritual and subconscious. It has no rhyme or reason, it just is. I totally understand that. I know that every relationship with any man in my life had been a major lesson and caused me to grow in ways i could not have if I didn't experience being in a relationship with those men
Yesterday at 9:08am · Like · 5

SRB I get ur point CM
Yesterday at 9:09am · Like

CM You do? it's not my point per se.. what is it?
Yesterday at 9:10am · Like


DM CM, the cultural norms of a man in Saudi Arabia are different than a man in Iceland. However, I can assure you that every man born with his dick in tact have the same BASIC NEEDS. Now, stay with me. These are needs, not wants. If they do not get these certain things, they will not stay with that woman. The 1st need of all men from Bangkok to Zimbabwe is RESPECT. A man would rather feel unloved and alone than to stay with a woman who does not SHOW she respects him. But here's the kicker. Men don't measure respect like we do. They want to be respected in their decisions, opinions,judgment and values. It's okay if you know how to get to the restaurant 5 minutes faster than the route he's taking. But when you turn to him and say, Let's do it my way, you communicate to him that you do not trust his ability to get you where you want to go. What's more important..getting their 5 minutes quicker or letting him have his adventure taking side streets? A man's natural impulse is to figure things out for himself and when you try to do it for him, it's a major turnoff. A smart woman might think he never called her back because he couldn't handle her having better directions. A wise woman would know that he picked up on the fact that the woman couldn't trust him to get where they needed to go and he doesnt want to deal with that annoying ish for the next 30 years.
Yesterday at 9:11am · Like · 7


CM And the ideas of respect and whatever constitutes it are dictated by the cultural norms in those societies AND/OR that could mean, or doesn't have to mean, they measure it in the same way women do. It's relative to culture. Most people are talking about this from a deep place of cultural embeddedness-- meaning there is no 'universal law' because we are skating on straight up social constructs here, which are forever changing and being rearranged. Then we get into semantics/definitions-- how are we defining smart here? Some people seem to take that as education/degrees, others seem to define it as wit-- whichever-- in American society due to the way we socially construct masculinity--there is a reality that a certain number of men feel threatened by higher achieving women no matter how 'feminine' or down to earth they are or don't flaunt it? Why? Because our cultural norms have dictated what being a man/woman is and that they are defined AGAINST each other. Some ppl adhere to this, others don't-- depends on how one is raised. But I think to cast off the notion that a good amount of men aren't intimidated by smarter or more educated women because they are smart, more educated or make more money-- it's silly. Then to push it onto women saying it's mostly because of their actions or their fault is silly too. At best we can say it comes down to individuals.
Yesterday at 9:21am · Edited · Like · 15


SRB To me it seems as if ur saying that learning about men should not be of more importance than learning about other things or achieving ur goals. I agree. It just depends on where ur at in ur life. But speaking from experience, one thing that intelligent women struggle with is being soft or vulnerable. Some of us should couple our intelligence with vulnerable. It's a hard thing for me to learn bc I see allowing folks to see me vulnerable as a weakness. When it's really not
Yesterday at 9:36am · Like · 8


AJB this is pure intellectualised mysogyny.
We ladies keep pretending that educated men don't partake in mysogyny but clearly they do. Aren't they the ones running the media, the court houses, the fashion industry, the politics.

It is rare to see/meet a couple where the intelligent woman is openly and genuinly encouraged to be such by her partner - most dumb it down for their man. Yes relationships require compromise but is it worth it? Tho this is changing SLOWLY
Yesterday at 9:41am · Like · 20


AJO Especially if you become too smart for your (B)lack husband.
Yesterday at 9:52am · Like · 8


BQS This sh#t here.......
Yesterday at 10:07am · Like

VT Truth!¡ THATS BLACK MALES HAVE TO GET WHITE FEMALES" THEY AINT THAT BRIGHT` AFTER ALL!¡ ¥
Yesterday at 10:25am · Like · 3


VT WE TOO SMART" FOR THE TRICKS" AND THEY WILL TAKE CARE OF U., NO MATTER HOW HUGE" SHE IS!¡ WOW"
Yesterday at 10:26am · Like · 3


SD The smarter you are, the more you see and recognize and the less you take. It's frustrating at times, but, in the end, it saves you from wasting too much time on ignorant, selfish assholes.

Now let the narcissists and male apologists enter
Yesterday at 11:02am · Edited · Like · 16


BJ Femininity is power

And I am a feminist with several degrees saying this.
Yesterday at 10:51am · Like · 11


CL Hell if I have to be dumb to have someone, then fuck, I don't want anybody.
Yesterday at 11:50am · Like · 13

SD @ CL- exactly!!! I understand, occasionally, "taking one for the team" (you pick your battles), but I'm not living in the dark just to suit the needs of those who aren't even worth the trouble. Um, no!!!
Yesterday at 11:56am · Like · 10


KS And all this time, it was my crazy-smart lady brain keeping me from having a satisfying and fulfilling relationship. How could i have possibly known that men want love, respect, and companionship, just like me?

I can't wait to tell my husband. Lololol

Really, though. This is the dumbest Shit I've read today.
Yesterday at 12:25pm · Like · 6


CF I don't agree at all with this article and I think it is dumb. However, I am wondering if this is a regional thing in the US? Maybe a woman from a major city has a better chance of finding a man who matches her intellect than someone who lives in a small town where women are expected to "know their place."
Yesterday at 1:21pm · Like · 2


BK This is funny..
Yesterday at 1:32pm · Like · 1


SD Lolol @ KS!!!
Yesterday at 1:40pm · Like


PCD C, unfortunately this article is definitely true in some parts of the US. I say this as one who lives in a state where this is a major problem. However because of life circumstances I chose not to move from here. THANKFULLY I met a lovely man from France and married him years ago.

You will not get coupled if you do not meet people of with lots of things in common that you can enjoy. Intelligent women they need to go where SECURE intelligent men are. That may mean relocating to another part of the US or even out of the country.
Yesterday at 3:33pm · Like · 6


AD I have had men tell me many of these things.
Yesterday at 4:12pm · Like · 2


PCD A, so did I. However when I was young I realized I was NOT the problem. No one is perfect but I soon realized that unfair judgments were being made. It was so bad at one time I feared when men asked me what I did for a living because too many times the conversation ended after my honest answer WITHOUT AN ATTITUDE. I then QUICKLY realized that those conversations needed to end because I would have tried to become a Frankenstein monster just to be with them, something no one should do for romance.
Yesterday at 4:27pm · Like · 5


AD I know Pamela, I have never taken it as if I am the problem, but I am over it. When I was in law SCHOOL and men asked me what I did, they would immediately shut up and leave me alone when I said it, unless they were also in some grad program or already a professional. I really feel that people don't take the time to even get to know anyone anymore. In this microwave culture most people just make assumptions about people, good or bad, and make decisions based on that. I rarely find people in general who are interested in really connecting with others as friends much less as a romantic life partner. The funniest thing is that all of the women I know who do all of the things that men claim to hate- i.e. have an attitude, nag, don't take care of themselves to name a few- all have men. I don't even try to figure it out. I just watch people's actions and pay little attention to what they say.
Yesterday at 4:35pm · Edited · Like · 6

RIC true.
Yesterday at 5:09pm · Like


CM I know DUMB women who have attitude problems and are still coupled up!
Yesterday at 5:48pm · Like · 4


EK A, I agree with everything you wrote. I had the same thing happened to me in law school. Unfortunately, it still persists outside of school. I had a blind date with a guy who turned out to be an engineer. I was excited at first to meet a man in a comparable profession.

Ugh. After we talked about our careers and goals, he asked me who would raise my potential kids while I was busy with my career. I almost choked. I told that fool that I didn't know that my potential husband wouldn't also be involved in the raising of his own kids. Smdh.
21 hours ago · Like · 1

CCC well i they were smart to begin with they would know how to keep a man in their life and not be single. to be smart is to recognize the things you need and want develop ways to make them happen.
20 hours ago · Like


ML i hear that !!!
15 hours ago · Like · 1


DP And why this happens? Because women settle for less. Why men should improve when women constantly settle for less?
11 hours ago · Like · 2
 
AJB this is pure intellectualised mysogyny.
We ladies keep pretending that educated men don't partake in mysogyny but clearly they do. Aren't they the ones running the media, the court houses, the fashion industry, the politics.

Or it's the whites, or men, or it's the Jews. Blame someone.

All this mediocre energy spent.

The human race as a whole is doomed.:(
 
I read them. I'm glad to have had a man and have a man currently who doesn't think like how alot of other men do. That femininity is power shit has always irked me as well. It's a short. Temporary power used on weak men. Real power is using your brains, your wits to make money. Or accomplish something in the world based on your work. It's power to build to a business/corporation.

There is power in creation. I can get more out of men by hiring them for work and paying them and motivating them to do a job well done. Than 1 guy to get me something because i'm pretty. Shit is just like everything else. Always going to have the go along to get alongs to prop up the oppression in some fashion.
 
Here is the answer. The problem is that most women that feel that their intelligence is "threatening" are not humble enough to accept the answer as truth. You don't hear men complaining about the lack of "good women". There's a reason for that.

DM I disagree with this article. Most intelligent women are not single because men don't like your intelligence. It's because men don't like your abrasive, presumptuous attitude that you have developed because of your (sometimes inflated) view of how awesome and smart you are. He correctly concludes that he would rather spend his time with a much more humble and interesting woman who can see past her own resume and into the heart of a man. Men love intelligence. But not when that's all you have to offer. He is looking for a woman to give him something that he doesn't get at the office all day. He's looking for a WOMAN. A lot of women today have the aura of a man in a dress. No vibrancy, playfulness or feminine joy. You quote some facts from a book you read and then call it intelligence. Ha!
Yesterday at 8:23am · Edited · Like · 11


DM The 1st myth any woman should get rid of that she has about men is that you intimidate him. Lol. You're not taller than him. You're not stronger than him. And you can't kick his butt. He's not intimidated by you hun. He may be turned off that instead of relaxing on the date and receiving the special treatment he wants to give, you are too caught up in trying to remember the right thing to say, the right statistic to quote and trying to impress him with your summer reading list. A man can feel when a woman's energy is in the mode of giving instead of receiving. If you can't receive from a man, he will take his services elsewhere. Why does not being able to receive hurt you? Because a man comes to see you not as the goddess who knows she is worthy but as the servant who has something to prove. Men look for little clues on a date. They look at your need to argue over whose directions were better, at your need to debate the quality of the restaurant, at your need to direct the waiter, the chef, and the valet boy. When you do these things, it's not because you know the current state of fiat currency that he chose not to further pursue you. It's because you feel like another man to him, even though you're wearing a dress. Men are smarter than we give them credit for. They run away from your bad attempts at acting like a man, not your intelligence.
 
Here is the answer. The problem is that most women that feel that their intelligence is "threatening" are not humble enough to accept the answer as truth. You don't hear men complaining about the lack of "good women". There's a reason for that.

DM I disagree with this article. Most intelligent women are not single because men don't like your intelligence. It's because men don't like your abrasive, presumptuous attitude that you have developed because of your (sometimes inflated) view of how awesome and smart you are. He correctly concludes that he would rather spend his time with a much more humble and interesting woman who can see past her own resume and into the heart of a man. Men love intelligence. But not when that's all you have to offer. He is looking for a woman to give him something that he doesn't get at the office all day. He's looking for a WOMAN. A lot of women today have the aura of a man in a dress. No vibrancy, playfulness or feminine joy. You quote some facts from a book you read and then call it intelligence. Ha!
Yesterday at 8:23am · Edited · Like · 11


DM The 1st myth any woman should get rid of that she has about men is that you intimidate him. Lol. You're not taller than him. You're not stronger than him. And you can't kick his butt. He's not intimidated by you hun. He may be turned off that instead of relaxing on the date and receiving the special treatment he wants to give, you are too caught up in trying to remember the right thing to say, the right statistic to quote and trying to impress him with your summer reading list. A man can feel when a woman's energy is in the mode of giving instead of receiving. If you can't receive from a man, he will take his services elsewhere. Why does not being able to receive hurt you? Because a man comes to see you not as the goddess who knows she is worthy but as the servant who has something to prove. Men look for little clues on a date. They look at your need to argue over whose directions were better, at your need to debate the quality of the restaurant, at your need to direct the waiter, the chef, and the valet boy. When you do these things, it's not because you know the current state of fiat currency that he chose not to further pursue you. It's because you feel like another man to him, even though you're wearing a dress. Men are smarter than we give them credit for. They run away from your bad attempts at acting like a man, not your intelligence.

Truth to the highlighted/underlined points...make a man feel like he's a man, and you'll have one. Your IQ doesn't have a place in the bedroom (lol). No, seriously, your intelligence/career does not make a good woman/person - your character does. Treat a man as you wish to be treated, as a person wishes to be treated: with RESPECT. So what if x, y and z are not what you want them to be - he's a fucking person and deserves to be treated as so.
 
My mom has been telling me since I was a kid to never let a man know how smart you are

she always said men like women dumber than them
 
Truth to the highlighted/underlined points...make a man feel like he's a man, and you'll have one. Your IQ doesn't have a place in the bedroom (lol). No, seriously, your intelligence/career does not make a good woman/person - your character does. Treat a man as you wish to be treated, as a person wishes to be treated: with RESPECT. So what if x, y and z are not what you want them to be - he's a fucking person and deserves to be treated as so.

Ah-hem.

Considering the topic.

An considering your rather very favorable attributes of beauty and unique capacities of comprehension . . . . I'm going to file your post/statement under, how does one say . . .

" Easy for you to say! "

;)
 
My mom has been telling me since I was a kid to never let a man know how smart you are

she always said men like women dumber than them

its true but not universal.

I think its all in how you present your intelligence.

you can be smarted and more clever without showing your partner up.

I feel women are generally more intelligent because they are able to read people well and understand what ISN'T said and what he emotional ramifications are in a situation.

Men tend to be more direct practical and in the now. Not wanting to much back story or details that women usually find important.

But personally NOTHING turns me off MORE then a dumb woman.

If your secure in yourself and really want a partner and someone to build with you seek that out.

the best advice I have been given is from women.

Hell I have a woman in my life who predicted things months before they happened, because she looked at the WHOLE picture the emotional reaction the hidden meanings HOW and WHEN the person said things more so then WHAT they said. and the small little games most men would ignore...

didn't listen I got burned.
 
My mom has been telling me since I was a kid to never let a man know how smart you are

she always said men like women dumber than them

So by default you were reared to attract and date unintelligent, sexiest, likely chauvinistic men.

How can you hide intelligence from one whom is intelligent enough to identify it?

In any event, your statement does tell us all one thing.
 
Ah-hem.

Considering the topic.

An considering your rather very favorable attributes of beauty and unique capacities of comprehension . . . . I'm going to file your post/statement under, how does one say . . .

" Easy for you to say! "

;)

Just saying...this has nothing to do with intelligence, and everything to do with the entitlement that well-educated black women carry with them related to their degrees, experiences, etc. A man is not trying to bed those degrees, that pompous attitude, blah, blah, blah. A man IS trying to bed AND wife that woman that doesn't take his manhood away.
 
My mom has been telling me since I was a kid to never let a man know how smart you are

she always said men like women dumber than them

Lonestar not all men are insecure or intimidated by a woman's level of education. I for one don't want a woman that's dumb. Nor do I want a woman playing down her level of intelligence. BE YOURSELF!

If a woman feels the need to play down her intelligence she's talking to the wrong man.
 
My mom has been telling me since I was a kid to never let a man know how smart you are

she always said men like women dumber than them

My mother used to say the same thing. She said Sam played it right. Because people see her and think she's just about 1 thing. She's pretty and wears jewelry, very into clothes. so you wouldn't think she's as smart as she is. You know she uses her female wiles to get things. To quiet situations. She's a laaaaaaaaady.

:lol:

But in all that, that's not why our husband loved her. He loved her because she was intelligent. And because he knew what she ultimately wanted. He told me "What the fuck i would want with a dumb ass woman? Dumb women are dangerous."

Our current friend is the same way. He doesn't understand in his view...someone CHOOSING to be stupid. Choosing to be uneducated. He wants people around him he himself can constantly learn from.
 
Lonestar not all men are insecure or intimidated by a woman's level of education. I for one don't want a woman that's dumb. Nor do I want a woman playing down her level of intelligence. BE YOURSELF!

If a woman feels the need to play down her intelligence she's talking to the wrong man.

Yeah this is how my husband was. He called them doughbrains. He didn't want a woman who would just roll over accept things. He believed that in order to be better you had to be constantly challenged. You had to be constantly sharpened.

He himself never understand the saying"LET a man be a man" And you're a woman. I don't understand it either. If you're really a MAN then there's no LET to it. There's no PROOF that is needed to be shown. You are what you are because it flows from you. You don't have to speak it. It is shown through your actions. It is shown through all your actions.

I can't LET him be anything because i don't control who he is. If he's threatened by me because i speak my opinion then that has to do with HIS security issues. He was unique to me in that way because he didn't feel the need to flex and prove anything. You couldn't LET him be what he inherently WAS. And you couldn't take it away.

He didnt feel the need to lord over anyone. Or see us as LESS than him because we were women. That's not how our ancestors viewed it either.
 
Yeah this is how my husband was. He called them doughbrains. He didn't want a woman who would just roll over accept things. He believed that in order to be better you had to be constantly challenged. You had to be constantly sharpened.

He himself never understand the saying"LET a man be a man" And you're a woman. I don't understand it either. If you're really a MAN then there's no LET to it. There's no PROOF that is needed to be shown. You are what you are because it flows from you. You don't have to speak it. It is shown through your actions. It is shown through all your actions.

I can't LET him be anything because i don't control who he is. If he's threatened by me because i speak my opinion then that has to do with HIS security issues. He was unique to me in that way because he didn't feel the need to flex and prove anything. You couldn't LET him be what he inherently WAS. And you couldn't take it away.

He didnt feel the need to lord over anyone. Or see us as LESS than him because we were women. That's not how our ancestors viewed it either.

In order for relationships to stay fresh there must be something there to hold people together. So good sometimes challenging conversation is a must.

I've always felt comfortable with myself, never felt the need for false bravado. I'm going to be me if that doesn't work for you then we go our separate ways. People need to understand dating is a process there are no guarantees. But if your entering into a relationship being anything else but real about yourself failure is all but certain.
 
Yo, that article was highly fallacious in which the author used his or her own assumption as proof to substantiate a point.

But I laugh at the quality of a woman's intelligence somehow being a hindrance in establishing a successful relationship with a man because he's not interested in having analytical conversations with his significant other. Yeah, right...
 
Smart women tend to outsmart themselves by one going after smarter and more successful men, and think that by making him jump through hoops and barrels it will ensure that he stays with her..
Unfortunately most smart men with game, know how much they are worth , on the open dating market , and knows better than to show and prove his shit, while the lady sits on her ass not doing shit..
I had a so called smart shit read me my rights on how she expected me to act and laid out the parameters. I must admit that shit would have worked on me, and seemed smart as hell except one thing, there are other chicks in the world.
 
In order for relationships to stay fresh there must be something there to hold people together. So good sometimes challenging conversation is a must.

I've always felt comfortable with myself, never felt the need for false bravado. I'm going to be me if that doesn't work for you then we go our separate ways. People need to understand dating is a process there are no guarantees. But if your entering into a relationship being anything else but real about yourself failure is all but certain.

My mother is from a small village in the mountains of venezuela. Catholic. When she came to the US she didn't know much about this place and how things worked here. She learned to be accommodating to my father. She was told that's how you get a man/keep one. She learned in her time those things. They didn't know things would turn out as they did.

Keep in mind i didn't take what she said seriously. I'm to..... ME to listen to people. But just saying, this is the kind of thing as women we're told by our mothers.

The problem you don't seem to relate to is that for every guy like you who feels how you feel? There's a large amount who don't. And those are the ones who surround us.
 
its true but not universal.

I think its all in how you present your intelligence.

you can be smarted and more clever without showing your partner up.

:yes::yes:

Thats how I try to do it

I feel women are generally more intelligent because they are able to read people well and understand what ISN'T said and what he emotional ramifications are in a situation.

Men tend to be more direct practical and in the now. Not wanting to much back story or details that women usually find important.

But personally NOTHING turns me off MORE then a dumb woman.

If your secure in yourself and really want a partner and someone to build with you seek that out.

the best advice I have been given is from women.

Hell I have a woman in my life who predicted things months before they happened, because she looked at the WHOLE picture the emotional reaction the hidden meanings HOW and WHEN the person said things more so then WHAT they said. and the small little games most men would ignore...

didn't listen I got burned.

:)
 
My mother used to say the same thing. She said Sam played it right. Because people see her and think she's just about 1 thing. She's pretty and wears jewelry, very into clothes. so you wouldn't think she's as smart as she is. You know she uses her female wiles to get things. To quiet situations. She's a laaaaaaaaady.

:lol:

But in all that, that's not why our husband loved her. He loved her because she was intelligent. And because he knew what she ultimately wanted. He told me "What the fuck i would want with a dumb ass woman? Dumb women are dangerous."

Our current friend is the same way. He doesn't understand in his view...someone CHOOSING to be stupid. Choosing to be uneducated. He wants people around him he himself can constantly learn from.

My mom always told me that the male ego is a powerful thing ... and it is ... even if some dudes dont want to admit it

I cant play dumb. Its not in me. I dont downplay my intelligence either. I just do what playahaitan said ... its just all about not showing him up ... presenting ideas and solutions but without making him feel like I think he is dumber than me. Try to show him that I'm there to help and not take over
 
My mom has been telling me since I was a kid to never let a man know how smart you are

she always said men like women dumber than them
I only have 1 question, plz forgive me if I'm wording it wrongly. . But what is "intelligence" to you what does it entail,how do u demonstrate this "intelligence" are there different types of it,?

im gonna help out with this :
perhaps emotional, spiritual,academic ,how does anyone of this threaten a man's ability to commit to u if he's seeking to bond and stay around? I'm really curious. All the other sisters on the board plz chime in. Thanx
 
I only have 1 question, plz forgive me if I'm wording it wrongly. . But what is "intelligence" to you what does it entail,how do u demonstrate this "intelligence" are there different types of it,?

im gonna help out with this :
perhaps emotional, spiritual,academic ,how does anyone of this threaten a man's ability to commit to u if he's seeking to bond and stay around? I'm really curious. All the other sisters on the board plz chime in. Thanx

The article is defining intelligence has level of education attained. How one defines intelligence will differ vastly - hell, even psychologists haven't come to an agreement about one definition of intelligence. I define it as the ability to adapt to your surroundings and problem solve effectively.
 
Smart women tend to outsmart themselves by one going after smarter and more successful men, and think that by making him jump through hoops and barrels it will ensure that he stays with her..
Unfortunately most smart men with game, know how much they are worth , on the open dating market , and knows better than to show and prove his shit, while the lady sits on her ass not doing shit..
I had a so called smart shit read me my rights on how she expected me to act and laid out the parameters. I must admit that shit would have worked on me, and seemed smart as hell except one thing, there are other chicks in the world.

Interesting. What where the parameters she tried to set?



For the one who asked: I always think of intelligence as a natural ability, how well you grasp things, having insight and being able to apply knowledge you learn, being able to see the big picture, seeing cause and effect or potential cause and effect as a result of actions, etc. I always think of educated more of formal schooling/book learning, but even that isn't a good definition as you can be self-educated as well.
 
My mom always told me that the male ego is a powerful thing ... and it is ... even if some dudes dont want to admit it

I cant play dumb. Its not in me. I dont downplay my intelligence either. I just do what playahaitan said ... its just all about not showing him up ... presenting ideas and solutions but without making him feel like I think he is dumber than me. Try to show him that I'm there to help and not take over

:lol: That's why you and Shyne are LAAAAAAAAADIES.

I'm not. :hmm: :lol:
 
The article is defining intelligence has level of education attained. How one defines intelligence will differ vastly - hell, even psychologists haven't come to an agreement about one definition of intelligence. I define it as the ability to adapt to your surroundings and problem solve effectively.
So intelligence in this article is referring to "educational attainment"
Is it possible to be an "educated fool"?
As in "booksmart" but "life dumb"
Interesting. What where the parameters she tried to set?



For the one who asked: I always think of intelligence as a natural ability, how well you grasp things, having insight and being able to apply knowledge you learn, being able to see the big picture, seeing cause and effect or potential cause and effect as a result of actions, etc. I always think of educated more of formal schooling/book learning, but even that isn't a good definition as you can be self-educated as well.
If being able to adapt to ur environment is the definition then "educational attainment " cannot be the main qualification becos we have " life smart" folks and "educated idiots"
No man that I know and respect is ever intimidated by life smart women ,actually they are the ones who get chosen and tend to pick the best mates who actually stick around and that has nothing to do with "education attainment" "educational attainment " Is not a qualification for a good mate, it might pic and interest but it's never what makes a man commit. It's the woman's "WOMANITY" and that's got nothing to do with " educational attainment "
 
So intelligence in this article is referring to "educational attainment"
Is it possible to be an "educated fool"?
As in "booksmart" but "life dumb"

If being able to adapt to ur environment is the definition then "educational attainment " cannot be the main qualification becos we have " life smart" folks and "educated idiots"
No man that I know and respect is ever intimidated by life smart women ,actually they are the ones who get chosen and tend to pick the best mates who actually stick around and that has nothing to do with "education attainment" "educational attainment " Is not a qualification for a good mate, it might pic and interest but it's never what makes a man commit. It's the woman's "WOMANITY" and that's got nothing to do with " educational attainment "

How many of these men do you know AND respect?
 
bullshit,

The fatter you are the more likely it is

you are going to be single....

because the kind of men successful

fat chicks want are the exact opposite

of the kind of dude that likes fat chicks..


solution, GET BACK TO NATURE, put down the burgers and pinkberry cups and make your church a gym...

BOOM!
 
^^^^

To the poster above, I surround myself with beautiful, successful IN-SHAPE women who are single. I see many beautiful, IN SHAPE women single who have attained a particular amount of education, and maintain a certain lifestyle who are single. Every single AA women who is single is not single due to her waist size or lack thereof. Many of my girlfriends have lofty expectations, which keep them single, not wanting to grow with a man. Hell, they are not perfect, finite persons so how can you expect a man to be perfect and finite?!? It took me quite some time to realize that a man doesn't come in a perfect package...and, when I did, I got a ring for it :-) People cannot expect the world from a man when the world, itself, is imperfect.
 
Yes. My part with that is don't look for a husband. We're STILL taught "you can't be whole without a man. You can't be happy without a man."

It's not something i believe in. As a woman you CAN be happy with yourself. The goal shouldn't be a HUSBAND. The goal should be fulfillment in your self. And if along the way you can help the world by a bit you've done pretty damn good in my book.


Indeed. And not being so openly thirsty can make a woman attractive to a higher quality of man.

I read them. I'm glad to have had a man and have a man currently who doesn't think like how alot of other men do. That femininity is power shit has always irked me as well. It's a short. Temporary power used on weak men. Real power is using your brains, your wits to make money. Or accomplish something in the world based on your work. It's power to build to a business/corporation.

There is power in creation. I can get more out of men by hiring them for work and paying them and motivating them to do a job well done. Than 1 guy to get me something because i'm pretty. Shit is just like everything else. Always going to have the go along to get alongs to prop up the oppression in some fashion.

Yes!!
My heart sinks a little every time I hear someone say or put across that a woman's power is in her pussy. No. That just makes you worth no more than how well you perform sex acts and makes you disposable.
Just as I try to tell men that there is value in learning how to relate to women in a non-sexual way, there is equal value for women in knowing how to talk to men.

My mom has been telling me since I was a kid to never let a man know how smart you are

she always said men like women dumber than them

That is sound advice is you're looking to attractive dumb or insecure men who need to feel superior to their woman.
If that's what you want, knock yourself out.

Yeah this is how my husband was. He called them doughbrains. He didn't want a woman who would just roll over accept things. He believed that in order to be better you had to be constantly challenged. You had to be constantly sharpened.

I don't know about "constantly". At some point, I think I've earned the respect to not be challenged at every turn. That shit ain't cute either.


He himself never understand the saying"LET a man be a man" And you're a woman. I don't understand it either. If you're really a MAN then there's no LET to it. There's no PROOF that is needed to be shown. You are what you are because it flows from you. You don't have to speak it. It is shown through your actions. It is shown through all your actions.

I can't LET him be anything because i don't control who he is. If he's threatened by me because i speak my opinion then that has to do with HIS security issues. He was unique to me in that way because he didn't feel the need to flex and prove anything. You couldn't LET him be what he inherently WAS. And you couldn't take it away.

He didnt feel the need to lord over anyone. Or see us as LESS than him because we were women. That's not how our ancestors viewed it either.

The saying comes from just what I was saying: constantly challenging your man. Most husbands just want to have a nice life with a happy wife. But if that wife is always challenging you and making everything a battle of wills, you're going to run him off. There's ways to speak your opinion and not be challenging.
You're right, you can't take it away from him (not most men) so when he feels like he's losing too much, he's gone.
 
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