100 sq ft apt in HARLEM rental $1275/month

[Hotlantan]

14 Convent Ave is between 127th and 128th street on a run down street in the heart of Harlem. I drove past there last week. What. The. Fuck.

http://www.trulia.com/rental/3131521113-14-Convent-Ave-New-York-NY-10027
http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/uptown/smallest-apartment-nyc-article-1.1459066

Realtor-Speak Run Amok In Insane Listing for Impossibly Small Studio

Could you see yourself paying $1,275 a month to live in a 100-square-foot micro-studio apartment that's "smaller than a jail cell"? What if I threw in a "brand new alcove"?

Douglas Elliman Real Estate is hoping that fancy-sounding "amenities" and a medley of shameless realtor buzz words will be enough to convince "students or young professionals who wish to enjoy the vivacity of South Harlem" to rent out this baby shoebox at 14 Convent Ave.

Check out the listing below:

Offered is a brand new alcove studio with three, large, east-facing windows allowing for robust sunlight throughout the day. Floors are contemporary dark-wood, and kitchen appliances are newly-installed, jet-black. Cabinet space is generous. Bathroom is new with rainforest showerhead. The building is a gut-renovated pre-war structure with laundry in the basement and a garden for exclusive use by tenants...Studios are small, clean, with compelling renovation.​

"They are like dorm rooms but more expensive," resident Kevin Mangan told the Daily News.

Mangan rents a "megasize" 250-square-foot unit in the third floor of the same building for $1,350 a month — $400 more than a dorm room at Columbia University, where he is currently a senior.

Looking to get a realistic view of the place not photographed by professional optical illusionists employed by a real estate agency, the Daily News sent reporter Simone Weichselbaum to check out apartment 1F.

This is what she came back with:

 

[Non-StopJFK2TAB]

I will do it.

 

[curryshotta]

hey its new york. best place in the world..

think of all the nearby amenities

 

[BDR]

I remember in the early 90's and all throughout the 1980s you wouldn't be caught in Harlem after 7pm

Now that shit hipster central and cac deluxe..

The city was literally selling brownstones for $1 fuckin dollar

 

[Mrfreddygoodbud]

Fuck what ya heard....

We bring UP property value.....

Belee DAT!!!!

 

[jblaque]

I brought my townhouse in Harlem! In 1992... Suckaz!

 

[yureeka9]

 

[X-Man26]

Meanwhile in Atlanta, $1100 gets you this:

I could give a fuck about culture and multi-cultural bitches, the ATL instagram bitches to the hippy hoes drop drawls upon entry into some shit like this!

 

[Philli]

The chick who did the photo isn't bad:

 

[Real2DaC0re]

thats robbery. If you think thats good just because its in NY then you brainwashed.

 

[older version]

The only amenity I would need after living in a 100sq/ft bathroom would be a shrink I could get to quickly to fix my head.

 

[vandamation]

 

[X-Man26]

The chick who did the photo isn't bad:

For 1275 a month in that shit, that bitch better come with another bad bitch and they both betta swallow, go back door, and make a mean lobster bisque.

 

[nukdollars]

smh

 

[DaAssWatcher]

All this exposes is how stupid people really are.Then you had that dumb cac that made a lil apartment in a dumpster.Are motherfuckaz that pressed to live in NY???

 

[Quek9]

Stay there and stay the fuck away from Houston, we are full.

 

[kmillz]

Meanwhile in Atlanta, $1100 gets you this:

I could give a fuck about culture and multi-cultural bitches, the ATL instagram bitches to the hippy hoes drop drawls upon entry into some shit like this!

Nice. I never been to ATL. Still can't believe that shit and I been everywhere else (except NY or LA) But that looks nice and promising than good ol hatin' Chi-City.

 

[Pack Rat]

 

[KingAddies]

thats robbery. If you think thats good just because its in NY then you brainwashed.

Exactly. Put that extra $400-$500 on gas, tolls and parking and come in from LI, SI or Jersey. Heard that trip from CT isn't that bad either.

Love the NorthEast but ATL shitted all over that little 1.1k crazy style. Heard the roaches serve a dual purpose as doorman/concierge/security and if you get up early enough they know the quick way through that traffic, just hop on.

 

[SaviorMachine]

For 1275 a month in that shit, that bitch better come with another bad bitch and they both betta swallow, go back door, and make a mean lobster bisque.

I would have went for the Lobster Nuberg, sir!

j/k

 

[brickwall92]

shit to justify that.. you would need to max 6 fiqures... and jobs don't pay as high in new york as they did in the past.. I've seen 10-12 dollar hour jobs and shit...

 

[smiffnwessun]

shit i'd pay that just for the acess and proximity to so much activities.

 

[TooTrilla]

shit i'd pay that just for the acess and proximity to so much activities.

Man please. Just to kick it? Fuck outta here. 1275 would get u this by the LAKE in Milwaukee.......

I'll be "bored" all day and living like a king

 

[SamSneed]

 

[moblack]

1,200 in Texas will pay a mortgage on a nice ass house. I'm sub 900 a month and I live in an old well established neighborhood with good schools. Fuck NYC and that high priced robbery.

 

[Non-StopJFK2TAB]

1,200 in Texas will pay a mortgage on a nice ass house. I'm sub 900 a month and I live in an old well established neighborhood with good schools. Fuck NYC and that high priced robbery.

But who wants to live next to the war zone in mexico? Who wants to live in The South?

 

[max-dawg]

call me country... don't gaf.

but for a grand total of $1900/month, i've got a 2200 sq ft. house 40 miles from downtown NOLa AND a 1700 sq ft house 2 hours away in cajun country (Lafayette, La area).

that's two houses with insurance... one with 2.5 acres, the other with almost 1 acre, one built in 1984; the other in 1992.

i've got a veggie garden, walking distance from fresh water fishing and 25 min drive from salt water fishing in terrebonne parish. there's also a local butcher within walking distance with beef, pork, lamb, and now, goat, all fresh and cut to-order.

y'all can have that city life... i sleep in the winter with my windows wide-the-fuck open listening to crickets and bullfrogs, coyotes, etc.

But who wants to live next to the war zone in mexico? Who wants to live in The South?

all the damn jobs are down here.

ride thru NOLa and houston... all you see are michigan, indiana, new york, illinois, and ESPECIALLY, new jersey license plates. that recession you motherfuckers been fighting ain't never hit down here... not in houston, not in NOLa, and esp. not for the educated.

our miserable, hell-fired 120 days of summer are just about over, and our 55 - 70 F winters are about to start.

 

[Varis]

Does it have a bathroom lol

Should be easy to heat in the winter , just turn on the stove

 

[godofwine]

New Yorkers are silly to think that they have it all that great when I have 2450 more sq. ft. and a huge backyard and a 2 car garage for around the same cost.

How smart is it to pay more for the same shit? Not very. If I told you that I got a 55" Samsung TV for $2000 and you got the same TV for $1000 I'd be a fool. Going to NY I can eat at a restaurant for a week for what you paid for one burger. No thanks

Big city of dreams...

 

[Jackdarippa]

I used to fuck with this shorty from LES. She was gonna rent her little bullshit ass co-op for like $2500 I think. It was about the size of one of my bedrooms. Even then the management or whatever the fuck you call 'em...board has to approve who comes in that old ass building. Then the hurricane hit...

 

[brickwall92]

call me country... don't gaf.

but for a grand total of $1900/month, i've got a 2200 sq ft. house 40 miles from downtown NOLa AND a 1700 sq ft house 2 hours away in cajun country (Lafayette, La area).

that's two houses with insurance... one with 2.5 acres, the other with almost 1 acre, one built in 1984; the other in 1992.

i've got a veggie garden, walking distance from fresh water fishing and 25 min drive from salt water fishing in terrebonne parish. there's also a local butcher within walking distance with beef, pork, lamb, and now, goat, all fresh and cut to-order.

y'all can have that city life... i sleep in the winter with my windows wide-the-fuck open listening to crickets and bullfrogs, coyotes, etc.







all the damn jobs are down here.

ride thru NOLa and houston... all you see are michigan, indiana, new york, illinois, and ESPECIALLY, new jersey license plates. that recession you motherfuckers been fighting ain't never hit down here... not in houston, not in NOLa, and esp. not for the educated.

our miserable, hell-fired 120 days of summer are just about over, and our 55 - 70 F winters are about to start.

Damn how do you have internet bro ?

 

[Tuco]

mofos have OFFICIALLY lost their GATDAMN minds! ive been hearing about these micro apts but this is the first i've actually seen....

go head wit dat BULLSHIT!

 

[max-dawg]

But who wants to live next to the war zone in mexico? Who wants to live in The South?

Damn how do you have internet bro ?

i've got fiber at BOTH houses... faster than cable internet.



i'm in the country, but i'm not very far from the city... which makes it easy to play HARD in town but to escape to my 'bat cave' and hide at night.

motherfucker gotta be brave to try and look for me on some, "i saw you with dat other bitch last night" shit. fuck around and get side-swiped by a 12 ft gator walking on the road.



motherfuckers still live off the land down here, man... we country as fuck, but i grew-up here.

 

[brickwall92]

i've got fiber at BOTH houses... faster than cable internet.



i'm in the country, but i'm not very far from the city... which makes it easy to play HARD in town but to escape to my 'bat cave' and hide at night.

motherfucker gotta be brave to try and look for me on some, "i saw you with dat other bitch last night" shit. fuck around and get side-swiped by a 12 ft gator walking on the road.



motherfuckers still live off the land down here, man... we country as fuck, but i grew-up here.

Damn.. You shitted on me bad...what type of speeds you getting ?


Where I live we don't even have fiber

got two houses for under 2 grand total ? damn....

 

[ShortyCumStain]

Robbery.