What’s the longest Break from Sex you had?
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Life Without Sex
By SOPHIE FONTANEL
Published: July 20, 2013
PARIS — For a period of my life, from my 27th to my 39th years, I slept alone: I had no sex. I wasn’t unhappy. Or frustrated. In fact, I found no sex preferable to disappointing sex.
Just before giving up, I had a boyfriend. He often said that we were happy sexually, but frankly he was blind to my unhappiness. So that winter, I went skiing without him.
Alone in all that sun and snow, absorbing energy from the sky and mountains, I let my body breathe quietly. The freedom and whiteness of the snow and mountains produced a kind of ecstasy. And the special pleasure I found skiing in this paradise made me think about the possibilities of my body, my sensuality. And I asked myself, “Sophie, is your sexual life so very stimulating, actually?” And my answer was, “No.” I realized that even when I took pleasure, I was not ecstatic with my sexual life. In fact, I seemed to be going through the motions of lovemaking because, I thought, that’s what everybody did. I decided to take a break, to recover a true desire.
And what a break! Twelve years!
It was so easy to stop.
At the beginning, I kept the fact that I had given up sex a secret, and nobody around me could guess how untouched I was. I knew perfectly well that people accept all kinds of sexual behaviors, just so long as you are doing something with your body.
Are you single, married, engaged, “it’s complicated”? Are you straight, gay, a lesbian? All of these categories suggest sexual activity, which somehow reassures us. You are doing something.
But I don’t think that’s our true life and rhythm. We are not machines. Nothing is so tidy about our sex lives. We are very alone in how we dream. We are not making love as easily as we boast we are. And when we are making love, it is not always enjoyable.
We are liars, poor liars trying to mystify one another. Perhaps French people are especially big liars. At the very least, we are full of contradictions. If you visit Paris, you will notice that we are very thin, even if we are the country of bread and cheese. We are also very sexy, but maybe it’s only a show to save our reputation.
By giving up sex, I abandoned all this pretense. During the 12 years I didn’t have sex, I learned so much. About my body, the role of art in eroticism, the power of dreams, the softness of clothes, the refuge and the importance of elegance. That I can take more pleasure while watching Robert Redford shampooing Meryl Streep’s hair in “Out of Africa” than being in a bed with a man. Sometimes I took pleasure just by staring at men’s necks. Sometimes, just by listening to a voice. It was libido, trust me. It was desire. But society doesn’t recognize this kind of felicity. It’s too much! I’ve learned that most people mainly want to prove that they are sexually functioning, and that’s all. Strangely, people are ashamed to admit that they are alone in their beds, which I discovered is a huge pleasure.
Even the pleasure you can give to yourself (everyone asked me about masturbation) is a paradise. Alone, you are so completely free. Your imagination can sleep with who you want, even Cary Grant! He was one of my lovers, actually.
As I wrote about my experiences, I thought a lot about privacy. I realized privacy is not about what you are doing so much as about what you are not doing. Privacy is that which you can hide — which, in our modern society, is not much. Sexuality is completely on display. Around me, children know about their parents’ sexuality; parents know about children’s sexuality. Where is the treasure of silence, of things not shown? Where is the mystery? Our openness is a good thing, for many reasons (of course!), but it has made indiscretion the norm. Everywhere, the question of “Who are you?” is answered with an explanation of sex. This is silly. We’re more than that. We’re poetry, we are floating creatures, sometimes happy sexually, and sometimes in a desert, even as we share our lives with someone.
I believe that a desert is sometimes necessary. Sometimes, it is what your soul and your body need. A rest. To dream instead of do. And believe me, when the body really wants the skin of someone else, it knows perfectly how to behave. You will look into someone’s eyes, and nature will take over. No matter how old you are. No matter wrinkles, or norms.
Finally, I’ve met someone. Not a long story, but a very important one. I’ve met a man who is not afraid of my long years of solitude and is perhaps heated and reassured by my honesty and what he calls my “exciting expectations.” Who could ask for more?
Sophie Fontanel is the author of “The Art of Sleeping Alone.”
By SOPHIE FONTANEL
Published: July 20, 2013
PARIS — For a period of my life, from my 27th to my 39th years, I slept alone: I had no sex. I wasn’t unhappy. Or frustrated. In fact, I found no sex preferable to disappointing sex.
Just before giving up, I had a boyfriend. He often said that we were happy sexually, but frankly he was blind to my unhappiness. So that winter, I went skiing without him.
Alone in all that sun and snow, absorbing energy from the sky and mountains, I let my body breathe quietly. The freedom and whiteness of the snow and mountains produced a kind of ecstasy. And the special pleasure I found skiing in this paradise made me think about the possibilities of my body, my sensuality. And I asked myself, “Sophie, is your sexual life so very stimulating, actually?” And my answer was, “No.” I realized that even when I took pleasure, I was not ecstatic with my sexual life. In fact, I seemed to be going through the motions of lovemaking because, I thought, that’s what everybody did. I decided to take a break, to recover a true desire.
And what a break! Twelve years!
It was so easy to stop.
At the beginning, I kept the fact that I had given up sex a secret, and nobody around me could guess how untouched I was. I knew perfectly well that people accept all kinds of sexual behaviors, just so long as you are doing something with your body.
Are you single, married, engaged, “it’s complicated”? Are you straight, gay, a lesbian? All of these categories suggest sexual activity, which somehow reassures us. You are doing something.
But I don’t think that’s our true life and rhythm. We are not machines. Nothing is so tidy about our sex lives. We are very alone in how we dream. We are not making love as easily as we boast we are. And when we are making love, it is not always enjoyable.
We are liars, poor liars trying to mystify one another. Perhaps French people are especially big liars. At the very least, we are full of contradictions. If you visit Paris, you will notice that we are very thin, even if we are the country of bread and cheese. We are also very sexy, but maybe it’s only a show to save our reputation.
By giving up sex, I abandoned all this pretense. During the 12 years I didn’t have sex, I learned so much. About my body, the role of art in eroticism, the power of dreams, the softness of clothes, the refuge and the importance of elegance. That I can take more pleasure while watching Robert Redford shampooing Meryl Streep’s hair in “Out of Africa” than being in a bed with a man. Sometimes I took pleasure just by staring at men’s necks. Sometimes, just by listening to a voice. It was libido, trust me. It was desire. But society doesn’t recognize this kind of felicity. It’s too much! I’ve learned that most people mainly want to prove that they are sexually functioning, and that’s all. Strangely, people are ashamed to admit that they are alone in their beds, which I discovered is a huge pleasure.
Even the pleasure you can give to yourself (everyone asked me about masturbation) is a paradise. Alone, you are so completely free. Your imagination can sleep with who you want, even Cary Grant! He was one of my lovers, actually.
As I wrote about my experiences, I thought a lot about privacy. I realized privacy is not about what you are doing so much as about what you are not doing. Privacy is that which you can hide — which, in our modern society, is not much. Sexuality is completely on display. Around me, children know about their parents’ sexuality; parents know about children’s sexuality. Where is the treasure of silence, of things not shown? Where is the mystery? Our openness is a good thing, for many reasons (of course!), but it has made indiscretion the norm. Everywhere, the question of “Who are you?” is answered with an explanation of sex. This is silly. We’re more than that. We’re poetry, we are floating creatures, sometimes happy sexually, and sometimes in a desert, even as we share our lives with someone.
I believe that a desert is sometimes necessary. Sometimes, it is what your soul and your body need. A rest. To dream instead of do. And believe me, when the body really wants the skin of someone else, it knows perfectly how to behave. You will look into someone’s eyes, and nature will take over. No matter how old you are. No matter wrinkles, or norms.
Finally, I’ve met someone. Not a long story, but a very important one. I’ve met a man who is not afraid of my long years of solitude and is perhaps heated and reassured by my honesty and what he calls my “exciting expectations.” Who could ask for more?
Sophie Fontanel is the author of “The Art of Sleeping Alone.”
I feel it. Shit is natural.
I’m planning on chilling for the next 6 months until my birthday. Like I told you before the random hit ups and shit are cool, but unfulfilling lowkey. I hit the old bitch for the last time Friday night about 6 times...the one who just popped back up after 5 years...
I’m really focused on this money and travel shit right now tho.
“Pussy’s only pussy, and I get it when I need it”
Bout an 8 month stretch. Just didnt want it, now i know i was in a major depression and that was a sympton of it. Once i gotpulled out of it, i was back denting chicks insides like i never left.
Also have some long deployments but with mid tour leave and the occasional quickie from random hoes it was manageable.
Also have some long deployments but with mid tour leave and the occasional quickie from random hoes it was manageable.
Shits so wild.
I hit 2 bitches in the same day last week and was just like
...meh
I guess because these random Jump offs are just temporary enjoyment, while the woman I really want isn’t in the picture
I feel it bro. And the way I lay my shit down I feel like these hoes should be paying me the way I have them running, shaking and breaking down.
Starting to look at myself as the prize and not every chick is deserving of the wave.
I Smash on my gal like the world gonna end
Dunno, but I just
Went 3 months without
Smoking weed! Longest period
Ever since I started. It was a breeze,
Had forgot what being high even felt
Like. It was easy, but I did feel good
A bout a week ago, when I blazed up.
Went 3 months without
Smoking weed! Longest period
Ever since I started. It was a breeze,
Had forgot what being high even felt
Like. It was easy, but I did feel good
A bout a week ago, when I blazed up.
Me either, sometimes you lose track of the years.
I got a system for that too fam!
Pussy and weed have been my biggest distractions for years.
That’s why I’m taking hold of both now.
My longest breaks from sex, were doing my militay days!! 1st, while in basic and ait and that was 5 months.. The other times were during deployments from 1month to 6months!! They kept us pretty damn busy and if you werent busy they had us on 24 to 35hr mission.. So, you were busy or sleepy!!
New, young pussy is my motivation, life is too short to be taking sex breaks.
I will take a break when I am dead. As long as I can still get hard and got bread, I am smashing something.
I will take a break when I am dead. As long as I can still get hard and got bread, I am smashing something.
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About a year in my late twenties. I was down and out, depressed, and had bad anxiety. That shit will lower your sex drive like a muthafucka. Plus I just kept running in to no nothing ass bitches. One or 2 fucks and they think you're married. Had to shake a lot of clingy chicks.
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How did you fare without it tho? Were you able to shake the depression
I can definitely relate
Porn
But it just made depression worse. Porn is not to be consumed long term like that. Niggas act like they can watch porn forever and not be affected. They a damn lie. I havent come to BGOL for porn in over ten years. Every now and then Ill check out a new bitch or scene, but its unhealthy if u watch too much. Anyways, depression comes and goes with anxiety. I dont do the pill thing, so I might always have some form of it. But Im sure if I committed to getting healthier psychically, I would barely notice it. My heavy drunking 2 to 3 days a week doesnt help either
I hear ya, bruh!!
Bruh, we all have those down times in our lives!!! I like to call them, finding yourself moments!!
Probably a year. No depression or mental issues. Got out of a long term relationship and didn’t want to be bothered. Didn’t make an effort to go out and meet women, plus was focused on entering a new career path.
Didn’t have the time physically or mentally to deal with a new relationship. I felt that’d slow me down.
Didn’t have the time physically or mentally to deal with a new relationship. I felt that’d slow me down.
10 months, and that’s because I was just more focused on getting my life back together after a breakup.
I don’t care what anyone says, raw pussy is the most addictive drug known to man.
There’s no greater feeling.
I don’t care what anyone says, raw pussy is the most addictive drug known to man.
There’s no greater feeling.
3 years In my early 20s. I couldn't get a mosquito to bite me.
As you should!
As you find your purpose more, they will become even less and less of a temporary enjoyment.
Eventually they become "not worth your time and undeserving of your energy".
Vibrate higher, my G
dis nigga
Brother, start slow. Pushups everyday, even if only 10, do that for 2 weeks then push it up to 20, etc. Also, ease off the alcohol just a little, it helps if you drink more water and just change your routine. Instead of sitting down where you always drink, get a bottle of water and walk around the block or yard, it helps especially after a meal.Porn
Just walk more, run if you can, to increase metabolism a little. Be consistent with it.
Also, be your own friend. Be kind to yourself with your words, actions, and decisions. Affirmations when you're alone work wonders.
Yes fam.
I’m here for all of it!!
Gotta push the bullshit to the side. Shut down the fun shit and EAT
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