The SIMP FILES: When hoes do you wrong

[geechiedan]

Hey guys,

I visited a couple places through last week heres the report.

I went to my 2 favorite places 18th and Ludlow/18th and Rainstead.

Rainstead had 3 girls to choose from, 2 rail skinny petite girls who I would put at. 28-36 yrs of age and 1 slightly chubby girl who is about 40'ish I would guess.

Mamasan knew that I preferred service over looks mostly so she told me that I should go with the older lady. I trusted her and boy was she right! It was the first time I had a slide in this place and she had like DD breasts, they felt quite real also. Rest is basically same standard, I think her name was Candy.

Ludlow I didn't get to choose but I told Mamasan to pick me a good one and boy did she. I was introduced to Soojin and she was hot! Like dateable hot. But as all pretty looking girls, she had a HUGE attitude. Her service was below par and her looks was probably the only thing she had going for her. Throughout the whole time she was saying if I did this would I tip? What about this? A tip? I got really annoyed and I told myself I was going to take as LONG as I could to nut. So I banged and slowed down repeatedly until she was really annoyed and she said she would finish by hand. I was pretty tired by that time so I said sure. While she was giving me the HJ, she pulls out a glove, puts it on, and starts thrusting her fingers in my ass. I WAS TOTALLY NOT PREPARED! I freaked out and she said hurry up and finish. I threw $100 Bux on the floor after dressing and stormed out of the place. She was yelling and calling me a cheapskape while I was walking out also.

I really freaking hate pretty girls who work at AMPs who have no idea what service means. If you guys run into her, I pray that you don't give extra tips, she needs to be put in her place.

Good Luck

Had been going to AMPs only and wanted to try something culturally different such as EMPs/RMPs so I went here last Friday:

http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/ads/1329463936.html

Called first to see if they do hh sessions, a lady picked up and said yes for .4 so I drove to the location listed. Got there and was greeted by a cute young Latina girl at the desk. Told her I was just the one who called about a hh session and she had no idea they did those. She had to call someone to confirm. After getting the ok from the person on the phone, she collected .4 for the house and proceeded to walked me to a massage bed located behind the curtains IN THE WAITING AREA. During this time, the front door was open while the tv was on and I could hear everyone that walked by the waiting area as she closed the curtains and told me to get comfortable. When she came back, I was still fully dressed and I asked her if there are any other rooms that is more discrete. She responded saying all the other rooms are taken and told me not to worry. So she left again and I got comfortable. When she returned, she was still fully clothed and asked me if I liked the rubs hard or soft. I said it's up to you and she gave me the worst back rub ever. She then told me to flip and started to leave the area. She said that when she returns, she expects to see .4 on the table. My expectation was that I was going to get a happy ending. However when she came back, she took the tip, gave me a quick massage on the arms and legs and said I was done. She took off somewhere in back and I instantly knew I just got ripped off. I slipped on my clothes quickly and frusturately stormed out the front door. I highly do not recommend this place not even for a legitimate massage.

Can anyone suggest a real RMP that gives at least a sold massage?

Asked for Pinky but she is on "vacation". Sissy gave a half decent massage for maybe 10 minutes, then removed her blue bikini and started the light touch and dragging her breasts from my butt to where she was nibbling on my ear. then turn over honey. More light touch, nibbling from my nipples then down around the twins. She is very good at this. I almost blew when she applied the cover with her mouth. I had to stop her and suggest i massage her. She wanted to rush through that. I tried DATY but she really didn't want me to and pushed for mish. After a short while I asked for CG and then she suggested Canine. After a short while I pushed her down to rev mish to finish. She said "not to deep". [I don't think I've grown any in the past 40 years but lately I keep getting "you're big" or "you're too big". I don't get it, unless it just that they aren't really into it so their vagina isn't elongated as it would be if they were aroused.] All in all an OK experience, but nothing great. Doubt I'll repeat. Uninspired, mechanical with a total lack of playfulness. I can get this or better for less on the streets of Camden or K&A.

DATY = Dining At The Y = eating pussy

For those that have gone to the RMP on the corner of Bustleton and Lindenhurst, or have plans to go there. I went there last night for a quick 30 since i was busy.

Anyway, I was worked on by Janet and this was my 3rd time there (see my other posts about it). After the flip she asked me what kind of service I received last time. I told her it was just topless HJ for .8. She asked if I would like anything else. I was able to get some details from her, that may only be her and not all the girls there.

She wanted 1.2 for nude HJ (I talked her down to 1.0) and 1.7 for a BJ. Now I didn't get the prices for other things, but it's my understanding that FS may be a distinct possibility.

I had a problem paying 1.7 on top of the .6 just for a "mouth hug."

So I just wanted to pass this along to my fellow mongers since I know there are a couple out there that ae against AMPs and prefer RMPs.

Best of luck.

1.0 = 100
1.2 = 120
1.7 = 170

 

[geechiedan]

bump

 

[Z MONSTER]

This bring back memories from the P.I (Philippines)

I was living like a king and didnt know it

 

[hussla's paradice]

 

[lossless499]

niggas posting stories about cats getting fingers put in their ass.

what part of the game is that?

 

[illdog]

 

[donwuan]

DATY = Dining At The Y = eating pussy



1.0 = 100
1.2 = 120
1.7 = 170

you got 12000 post and calling them simps. you aint getting ass, paid for or free.

 

[geechiedan]

you got 12000 post and calling them simps. you aint getting ass, paid for or free.

thats not what your mama said SON

 

[geechiedan]

Her name is Candice 267-586-0535. I paid $90 for an hour. She's not bad gooding, and got some big titties, but the service was very bad. First she wouldn't give me a lap dance,then I had to take her cloths off. She suck dick pretty good, but she tried to make me cum quick, I had to keep telling her to slow down. So we moved on to missionary, and right away I smelled a strong odor of fish. It felt like i had to rape her to get my dick inside her, she was squeezing her leg close. 15 minutes later I just rushed myself to orgasm. She then jump up and had my cell phone and keys in her hand at the door, my fucking dick was still out. lol, no hug or kiss on the cheek, I guess you get what you pay for.

fish smell

 

[DollarDay]

niggas posting stories about cats getting fingers put in their ass.

what part of the game is that?

 

[geechiedan]

Dudes my PC is down and for my reports I hate typing all the shit on my little Blackberry keyboard. So while I'm on my homies computer here is the news.

Man a few weeks ago on a Saturday night took my ass over to Glenwood just looking around when I saw this tall red bone with a big ass near 285.

It was obvious to me that she was working but she did look out of place a little so I pulled up and asked did she need a ride? She hopped in I guess because it was cold as shit outside. She wanted to go right to the motel 6 where her friend was staying. She asked did I want to hang with her for some fun so I obliged.

Really attractive once we got into the light inside the room. She gave a story about leaving after an argument her and her husband just had. She claimed she needed to get away and clear her head. Her friend was a 5'3 90lb walking praying Mantis. It was no surprise that the room smelled like former DC Mayor Marion Barry had just left.

Anyways $20 I got bbj, cim. To my surprise she went two doors down scored crack. $20 more and I beat her big booty up all across the room. Afterward s she went next door and got more crack to smoke. Then we chilled a bit as she fielded calls from her concerned hubby and kids.

She decided that she hadn't smoked enough yet so she begged me for a little more money. I wanted to give her a facial so I gave her $30 and got more bbj, that big ass of from the back again and the opportunity to give her a big nasty facial. Then they asked if I could help with money on the room? I said hell to the no and bounced. I kept my scarf around my face the whole four hrs in the room. I never have been around rock smokers like that.

The next day my clothes had a familiar smell that most of the SW's in the bluff, AUC or other slummy parts or the city have had.

It was a real surprise cause this woman was really pretty. Someone that you'd never expect to pull a stunt such as get into argument with hubby so that she could go fuck for cash to get high. Damn shame. Oh well moving on.

Even though the ass was nice. I will not repeat, I didn't like smelling like a crackhead.

I met a hoe in Memphis off the chatline with a similar situation. After we chatted and exchanged digits I proceed to her location. We agreed on 40 bones and she tells me we can"t go to her house but we had to go to her friends spot. I get in the apartment and notice a lot of folks just hanging out no big deal. Once she started sucking my dick that"s when I realized there was to much noise just for folks hanging out. The door kept opening and shutting and my dick never rosed to the occassion. I call it a day and we leave the bedroom. Upon entering the kitchen I see 4 guys sitting at a table lighting up straight shooters and filling them with crack. Damn just what I need to be is in a fucking crack house with a dope dealer there too. I didn"t take me long to find my way out of there. Chic was cool though. I dropped her off. With me knowing she smokes crack I arranged to hookup with again. This time we went to a hourly motel and you already know how we do it in Memphis. Crackhead hoes get crackhead dollars. I smashed this hoe and got bbf and fs for 20 bones. Hell she was content with that. Good setup but somehow I lost her digits and she moved apartments too. Maybe I will hear her on the chatline again. She looked good too with that Catdaddy ass(thickilicious and bootylicous short and ready to be plucked)

 

[Blade Brown]

Sad but funny stories in here

 

[jasonblacc]

niggas posting stories about cats getting fingers put in their ass.

what part of the game is that?

dude stays posting tricking stories

 

[geechiedan]

Sad but funny stories in here

somebody gets it..

dude stays posting tricking stories

some of yall niggas take messageboards waaay too fucking seriously...for real

 

[djkidrich]

 

[moblack]

These stories remind of me of my homey getting head in the strip club then tells me he aint use a condom

 

[blkking1123]

when you play this game with hoes, you goin get burned...its a reality..they in it for the money not for your feelings or be sure you bust a good nut...these stories are funny though..

 

[geechiedan]

Had asked about her last week but I suppose no one had seen her so I TOFTT. Hit her up Saturday evening and set up meeting. She made out clear that she only did outcalls but I already knew that from her ad. I told her I would get a room as I don't believe in bringing these hoes to the crib. We negotiated a rate and she told me she would need about an hour and would hit me up when she was on the way. So I went ahead and got to room on the east side and waited. Come to find out, the reason she needed an hour was because she had to come all the way from Macon. Like WTF. But I'll get to that later.

Anyways, she called me when she got close and I guided her to the room over the phone. As she pulled up I noticed a dude driving so I figure off the rip she working for a pimp. I didn't really give a shit though. She knocked on the door and I let her in and was pleased in the least with her body. The body is tight as fuck. Flat stomach, nice titties and a nice little ass. Now I will say she looks really young in person. So much so that I asked for I'd which she showed. Abs she's really 18, not 19 as the ad says. I had agreed to do the hour (big mistake As I normally go for qk with new hoes). Laid the donation down and she started strippin and giving me a super wet BBBJ before she even got all the way naked. I got full staff and told her to take the panties off I'm ready.

This is when the bull shit started. Told her lay flat on her back and pulled her to the edge of the bed. Put the rubber on and she was really REALLY tight. That was part of the problem, she can't take dick at all. Every time I tried to get more than the head in her face would ball up and she would push me out. I started getting pissed after about 5 minutes of that shit. I'm not some 15 inch type dude so I'm thinking how the hell you going to be a hoe but can't take dick? I got up and said look if you going to do this shit for the whole hour I will take my money and bounce. When she saw I wasn't bull shittin she laid there and covered the pillow with her face and took it but she was screaming bloody murder. Like at the top of her lungs. Some people like that type shit, I don't. I got up and said fuck this shit and went to grab my money and she asked was there anything else she could do. I asked why she's even doing it if she can't handle dick and her response was "I have no choice."

I took half my money back and put her out and told her she need to find a new profession because clearly this one isn't for her. No one is going to pay you to chase you around the bed because you can't take dick. She got in the car and I was looking out the window and from the look on dudes face he wasn't pleased. I walked out about 5 minutes later and they were still sitting there and as he mean mugged Me I made sure he saw the glock 40 tucked in my belt. They drove off and I went and picked up a personal freak of mine. Long story short chick is. A waste of time. But I will say she is naive as hell. If you have any type of game at all and are into that pimp type shit she can easily be had. I don't want or need that drama. Best thing about the hoe was she looked good naked. Aside from that, wack. Definitely won't repeat.

 

[J.E.T.S]

On top of it all, This hoe looks "too normal" to be paying for anyways. Mayne, you can get this type of bitch FREE anywhere with minimum game.

 

[DipsetBi7ch]

This thread is too hilarious....

 

[hsm2448]

nigga need a dictionary to understand all this.

that ho quoted 2.3 with a IHHG finish but halfway got me to AHIP.

 

[DragonXJC]

Where's the Simp Glossary or handbook on Simpology at? I don't understand half of these acronyms and abbreviations.

 

[doggish_098]

i see the asian rub and tug places have raised the prices

 

[geechiedan]

$ $100
$$ $200
$$$ $300
$$$.5 $350 (get it?)
a
AAMP Apartment Asian Massage Parlor. Based in a residential apartment instead of a commercial storefront.
AAMP Asian-American Massage Parlor. This is the politically correct acronym.
AFF Adult Friend Finder (a popular USA dating website)
AFF Asian Friend Finder (a popular Asian dating website)
Agency A company that manages calls, bookings, and advertising for a group of providers.
Aircon BBBJ + Hacks (the mints sweet). Scenario: When the maseuse ask,"want aircon?" n if yes, she pop one hacks sweet into her mouth and start blowing.
Amazon A tall, strong, often masculine woman.
AMP Asian Massage Parlor
Analinus Anal Rimming (Oral stimulation of anus)
Anal Rimming Oral stimulation of anus.
Anti-Sex Pervert These are the "real" perverts, the people who are against the concept of healthy men engaging in sex with willing female partners.
AR Anal Rimming (Oral stimulation of anus)
Around the world Anilingus and Fellatio.
Asian Refers to Anal Rimming
Asian Cowgirl Girl on top, squatting.
AR Ass Rim, Anal Rimming
ASAP As Soon As Possible (not sex related)
ASP Adult Service Provider
ASP alt.sex.prostitution newsgroup
ATF All Time Favorite
ATM Ass To Mouth
Aunt Flo Menstruation
b
Babyback Petite, young, attractive Asian.
Bait and Switch Person who shows up is a different one than advertised.
Baja Sur Genitals. From the spanish "the low south".
Balloons Breast implants.
Bareback Without condom.
Barracuda A professional prostitute who's only purpose is to separate you from your money as quickly as possible, preferably without giving you anything in return.
Batin (Malaysia) Groin massage, but sometimes means Handjob.
BBBJ Bare Back Blow Job (oral sex without condom)
BBBJTC Bare Back Blow Job to Completion (oral sex to orgasm)
BBBJTCWS Bare Back Blow Job to Completion with Swallowing
BBBJWF Bare Back Blow Job With Facial
BBFS Bare Back Full Service (sex)
BBS Barber Shop
BBW Big Beautiful Woman
BCD Behind Closed Doors
BDSM Bondage, Discipline, Sado-Masochism.
Beret A condom.
Beso Negro Anal Rimming
BF Boy Friend
BFA Big Fat Ass
BFE Boy Friend Experience
BGR Boy-Girl-Relationship
Birdwatching BBBJTCWS
BJ Blow Job (oral sex on a man)
BL Body Lick
Blackhole Anus
BLS Ball Licking and Sucking
Blue Pill Viagra
Blue Steel Viagra
Brown Shower Defecation on your partner.
BS Body slide. Service where woman may slide her body on yours using oil.
BS Body Scrub
BSD Big Swinging Dick
BSW Black Street Walker
BTW By the Way
Butterface Everything looks good, but her face
c
Call Girl Outcall provider, usually implies agency.
Cash and Dash ROB who takes the money and runs
CBJ Covered Blow Job (oral sex with a condom)
CC Roman Numeral for 200. Roman numerals sometimes used for fees. (Roman Numeral converter)
CC Credit Card
CC Rider Full service provider costing $200 or less.
CCL Concentration Camp Look.
CD Cross-dresser: transvestite, a person, and especially a male who adopts the dress and often the behavior typical of the opposite sex especially for purposes of emotional or sexual gratification
CDS Covered Doggy Style
CFF Chinese Friend Finder (a popular dating website)
CFM Come Fuck Me, usually refer to the look of a person.
CFS Covered Full Service (sex with condom)
CG Call Girls
CG Casino Girls
CG Club Girls
CH Crazy Horse, SF Strip Club
Cheong Hokkien word. Originally means Charge. Used as going out for some happening stuff.
Chump A man who gives his money and/or his attention to women without getting any pussy in return. Largely a phenomenon experienced by American men when dating American women. Don't be a chump!
CIM Cum in Mouth
Civilian A woman who makes herself available for sexual encounters but not for financial gain. May be less discreet than a provider and more interested in a relationship.
CIS Confederation of Independent States (former Soviet Republics)
CKT Char Koay Teow (Local Chinese)
CL Craigslist, a popular classified ad website where escorts have been known to advertise and otherwise promote their availability.
Clockwatcher A term for a provider who counts the minutes until the session is over.
CMD Carpet Matches Drapes (typically a natural blonde)
CMP Chinese Massage Parlor
CMT Certified Massage Therapist. A professional masseuse.
COB Cum on Breast
COF Cum on Face
COH Cum On Hard
Collar and Cuffs match Pubic hair matches natural hair-color (redheads, blondes)
Commercial Company Prostitution
Completion Orgasm. e.g. She gave a bareback blowjob to completion.
Completo Spanish for "complete", usually meaning with or including anal sex.
COT Cum On Tits
Cover Condom
Covered Various measures, such as the use of condoms or dental dams, are taken to avoid diseases (as AIDS) transmitted by sexual contact. (e.g. Covered Blow Job means a condom was used.)
CHHFS Covered Half Hour Full Service.
Cowgirl CG, girl on top facing you.
Craigslist A popular classified ad website where escorts have been known to advertise and otherwise promote their availability.
Crime scene action Sexual activity during her period.
Cruising Looking for prostitutes while driving.
Cups of Coffee Releases
d
Dance and Dash A rip-off. She shows up, takes your money, doesn't provide, might offer to "dance", and leaves.
Date A session with a prostitute.
Date A man who patronizes prostitutes.
DATO Dining at the O, Anilingus, oral stimulation of the anus
DATY Dining at the Y (Performing oral sex on a woman)
DDE Doesn't Do Extras (PS only)
DDF Drug and Disease Free
DDG Drop Dead Gorgeous
DDP Double Digit Penetration (pussy and anus)
Deep Throat Fellatio where the whole length of the penis is "swallowed".
Defender A poster who defends or "comes to the rescue" of a provider who has been reviewed poorly, regardless of whether the review is accurate.
Delta Omega Gamma DOG.
Deposit A provider requires an upfront payment in advance of a session.
DFE Dead Fish Experience
DFF Dead Fish Fuck
DFK Deep French Kissing
DIA Date In Asia (a dating website)
DIY Do It Yourself (masturbation)
Doggie Man behind girl, girl on hands and knees.
Doggie Style Man behind girl, girl on hands and knees.
Donation Payment to a provider
Doubles A threesome with two girls and you
DP Double Penetration
DP Digital penetration
DR The Dominican Rebublic
DS Doggy Style
DSL Dick Sucking Lips
DT Dining at the Toes
DT Deep Throat
e
ECR El Camino Real
Ed Zachary disease A woman with an unattractive face.
Ellie LE, Law Enforcement
EMA Extra-Marital-Affairs. Affairs after marriage.
EMP European Massage Parlor (white girls)
English Spanking, etc.
Enhancements Breast implants.
Envelope Often cash payments for a provider are placed in an envelope. Rather than handing her cash directly, or discussing money, the envelope is left in a conspicuous location for the provider to pick up as she leaves (outcall), or after the hobbyist leaves (incall).
EOM End Of Message
Escort A woman who is paid for her companionship.
Expats Persons living in countries other than their own citizenship. Generally refers to Americans or Europeans living in other countries.
f
Face painting Man ejaculates on woman's face.
Facial Cumming on partner's face
FBSM Full Body Sensual Massage
FFF Refers to the strategy of "Find them, Fuck them, Forget them"
FIV Finger In Vagina
Five-O A police officer (uniformed or undercover).
FJ Foot job. Stimulation of the penis using feet and toes.
FJ Fuck Job
FK French Kiss, French Kissing
FKK Frei Körper Kultur (German brothel / nudist club)
FL Free Lance
Flake, Flaky Errant behavior, often used for providers who no-show and/or have scheduling issues.
FOB Fresh Off the Boat (Asian immigrant recently arrived in the US)
FOBU Fat-Old-Bald-Ugly
FOTC Fuck Of The Century
FOV Finger Outside Vagina
FR Field Report, Fuck Review
French Oral sex on either party.
French Kissing Kissing on mouth with tongue contact
French Without Oral sex without condom
FS Full Service (complete sex)
Full meal deal Full Service, Vaginal intercourse to completion.
Full Service Intercourse
FUTB Finger Up The Butt
g
Get Comfortable Get completely naked.
GDP Garota de Program (working girl, on the program)
GF Girl Friend
GFE Girl Friend Experience
GF3 Girl Friend Experience w/all three holes
Glove Condom
GND Girl Next Door
Golden Shower Urinating on your partner, urine play.
Greek Anal sex
GRO Guest Relations Officer (The Philippines) Generally refers to women in the employ of night clubs and similar establishments. A polite reference to working girls.
GS Golden Shower (urination play)
GSM G-Spot Massage
GV Geschlechtsverkehr = Intercourse (in German)
h
Half and Half Oral sex followed by intercourse.
Hardwood Floors Clean shaven pussy.
Hat Condom
HC Health Center
HC High Class
HE Happy Ending
Herb Friendly Is amenable to marijuana use.
HHHJ Half Hearted Hand Job.
Hidden Charges A provider takes the advertised fee upfront, but midway through the session she asks for more money for more services. (e.g. She might undress and give a massage for the advertised $$, but then ask for an additional $ for French, or $$ for FS, etc.)
Hindu Massage (Argentina) The woman contracts her vaginal muscles during sex to squeeze you to completion.
HJ Hand Job
HM High Mileage
HME Honeymoon Experience (lapdog heaven)
Hobby, The The patronizing of prostitutes.
Hobbyist A man who patronizes prostitutes.
Hooker Prostitute.
Hostess Club A lower end strip club where bargaining for sex acts with the dancers is acceptable, and some activities may occur on premises.
HR Hand Release (a hand job)
HSW Hispanic Street Walker
HTUMA Her Tongue Up My Ass = The famed rim job
HWP Height and Weight Proportionate
i
IMHO In My Humble Opinion
Incall You meet the girl at their place.
Independent, Indie An escort who works on her own, without an agency affiliation. The escort manages her own calls, bookings, advertising and finances.
Interpreter Condom (e.g. She spoke French without the aid of an interpreter = BBBJ)
IPO Initial public offering: used to denote the public introduction of a new provider, usually via a review.
ISO In Search Of
Italian Penis rubbing between butt cheeks.
j
Jack Shack Refers to an establishment (massage parlor, lingerie modelling) that is not usually full service; expect only massage (usually nude or topless) and handjob, but more services might be available.
Jimmy Hat A condom
John A man who patronizes prostitutes.
k
KTV Karaoke TV
l
Lapdog Person who worships providers to excess.
L/A/S Looks/Attitude/Service: A subjective ranking system. Each criteria separately ranked, from lowest (1) to highest (10). Examples: 2/9/8 = Unnattractive, but very friendly and good sex. 10/5/4 = Model material, but a poor attitude, and mediocre sex.
Landing Strip Description of pubic hair
LBFM Little Brown Fucking Machine
LC Local Chinese
LCN Latin Chica Network (The chica's mental telepathy network system, which is faster than any electronic network could ever be, although the data does experience major corruption issues during transmissions)
LE Law Enforcement
LEO Law Enforcement Officer
LFK Light Face Kissing
Little Blue Helper Viagra
Little Blue Pill Viagra
LK Light Kissing (closed mouth)
LMP Licensed Massage Practitioner
LOL Laugh Out Loud
LOS Land of Smiles (refers to Thailand)
Lot Lizards Prostitutes who operate out of truck stops or other trucker hangouts.
LSB Lap Sup Bar (low class bar)
LT Long Time (usually overnight)
LTR Long Term Relationship
m
Madame Proprietress of an agency.
Mall, Escort Mall A website that advertises many different providers. The providers may be independent or agency, and may or may not be associated with each other, or with the mall.
Mamasan Female manager of a massage parlor.
Man in a boat, little man in a boat Clitoris
MBR Multiple Bell Ringing (MSOG)
Mediterranean Anal sex e.g. "She took me on a trip to the mediterranean."
Merkin Pubic hair wig.
MG Massage Girl
MIB Man in blue, law enforcement officer.
Mileage A subjective term that describes value for money and/or how accomodating she is. Good mileage usually means she either charges less than average, provides better L/A/S than average, or both.
MILF Mother I'd Like to Fuck.
Mish Missionary position, Man on top during intercourse
Missionary Man on top, girl on back.
MJ Massage Job
ML Make Love
ML Massage Lady
MMF, MFM, MFF Threesome designations. e.g. MMF = male, male, female MFF = male, female, female.
Mohawk A thin rectangular strip of pubic hair.
Monger Short for W h o r e monger. One who frequents prostitutes. See urbandictionary.com
MP Massage Parlor
MP Multiple Pops (multiple releases)
MPA Massage Parlor Attendant
MSOG Multiple Shots on Goal (multiple releases)
Multiple Pops She allows you to have more than 1 orgasm during the session (e.g. more than one or multiple pops allowed)
n
Nasi Lemak A Local Malaysian (for Malaysia only)
Newbie A novice hobbyist or novice provider.
NGO Non-Government Organization
NGP Non Genuine Photos
NL Nasi Lemak / a Local Malaysian (for Malaysia only)
NMG No-Money Guys. Mongers who travel on a strict budget.
Nooner A lunch-time or afternoon session, popular with married hobbyists.
No-Show Escort or Client never shows up for an appointment, does not contact in advance to cancel or warn.
No-Touch No touching allowed. (e.g. No-touch Jack shack, no-touch strip club)
NQBC Non-quitter, but covered. CBJ to completion.
NQBS Non-quitter, but spitter. BBBJTC and spits your ejaculate.
NQNS Non-quitter, non-spitter. BBBJTC and swallows your ejaculate.
NSA No Strings Attached.
o
O, Os Orgasm, orgasms.
Off-the-clock Activities that occur with a provider that she chooses not to charge for. (e.g. "We had lunch off-the-clock")
OKP Or-Kui-Poh - It means a Female pimp in Hokkien, a Chinese dialect, but sometimes people use OKP/OKT to describe a supervisory person who will guide you in your selection of girls in a spa.
OKT Or-Kui-Tao - It means a Male pimp in Hokkien, a Chinese dialect, but sometimes people use OKP/OKT to describe a supervisory person who will guide you in your selection of girls in a spa.
OMFIAMP One Man's Food Is Another Man's Posion, (pronounced "Ohm-Fam")
ONS One NightStand
OTOH On the Other Hand
Outcall The girl comes to your place.
Out, Outed Private, personal information on a hobbyist or provider is made public. e.g. Someone's real name and address is posted to a public forum.
OV Oralverkehr = Oral Sex (in German)
OVN Overnight
OWO Oral WithOut a condom
OWOTC Oral Without Condom To Completion
p
P4P Pay for Play. Refers to the concept of paying for sex.
Papasan Male manager of a massage parlor.
Papaya Farm Mook Kua Yuen (Cantonese) means ***** House
Party Hat Condom
PCC Pak Chiu Cheng, directly translated it means "Fire hand gun", a hokkien term for masturbation
PDMM Pei Du Ma Ma, PRC study mama. Mothers from Commie China that are in Singapore to supposedly look after their Children who are studying in the country. However, many of them provide sexual services to earn some money on the side.
Pearl Necklace Man ejaculates on woman's neck and/or chest
PFF Pussy For Free (A non-existant fantasy)
Pimp A man who solicits clients for a prostitute.
Pinay a Philippine Girl.
PIV Penis in Vagina
PL Pathetic Loser
PM Private Message sent via the Forum's Private Message service.
PO Phone Operator
POF Plenty of Fish
Pooner A hobbyist who is immersed in the hobby culture. e.g. He may be very involved with the review boards and/or private exchange of information on providers and the hobby.
Pops, multiple She allows you to have more than 1 orgasm during the session (e.g. more than one or multiple pops allowed)
POS Pussy on the Side
PRC Women from the People's Republic of China
Provider Prostitute
PS Private Show (Dance)
PSE Porn Star Experience
Punter British slang for a man who engages in sex with prostitutes.
PV Private Viewing (Dance)
PW Pussy Wipped (A guy controlled by a girl because she gives him sex)
r
R & T Rub and Tug (a massage followed by a hand job)
RA Relaxation Assistant
Raincoat Condom
RAW Sex without condom
RCA Reverse Cowgirl Anal
REQ Request - Used in the subject line of a post to indicate the body contains a request for information.
REV Review - Used in the subject line of a post to indicate the body contains review of a provider.
Reverse Cowgirl Girl on top facing away.
Reverse Half and Half Intercourse followed by oral sex to completion.
Reverse Massage You massage her.
Review A critical evaluation of a provider. May include information on her looks, attitude and service.
Reverse Oral The client performs oral sex on the provider.
Rimming Analingus
RLD Red Light District
RMP Russian Massage Parlor
ROB Rip Off B i t c h
ROFLMAO Rolling On (the) Floor Laughing My Ass Off!
Roman An orgy situation.
Roman Shower Vomit play.
RTF Return To Fuck
RTFF Read the Fucking Forum
Russian Penis between breasts
Russian In Australia: Short sex session, aka a "Quickie"
s
Safe Sexual activity in which various measures, such as the use of condoms or dental dams, are taken to avoid disease (as AIDS) transmitted by sexual contact. e.g. All activities were safe.
San Juan Capistrano BBBJTC and she swallows.
Sandbag, Sandbagger A subjective term for a review (or reviewer) that misleads the reader by giving unwarranted praise to a provider.
Sans Without. e.g. She provided french sans beret = BBBJ
SC Strip Club
Scat Defecation on your partner or feces play.
Screening A provider or agency does a pre-session background check on a new client.
Self-post A provider or agency poses as a hobbyist, and posts a highly positive review of herself or agency to increase business.
Self-Service Masturbation. e.g. "It was a self-service jack shack" = no contact with the dancer, but the man can masturbate.
Sensual Massage Not usually full service; expect only massage (usually nude or topless) and handjob, but more services might be available.
Session Paid time spent with a provider.
Sex Worker Catch all phrase sometimes used to describe prostitutes. May also be used in the context of strippers, peep show workers, topless waitresses.
SFH Sex for hire.
SG Street Girls
******* Transexual, particularly one who is living as a woman, but hasn't had SRS. Penis may or may not get erect.
Shill An insider posing as a satisfied customer.
Shill A hobbyist who writes unwarranted positive reviews in exchange for discounts or special favors from an agency or provider.
Shots on goal Shot On Goal (one release)
Sixty Nine, 69 Partners perform oral sex on each other simultaeneously.
Slam, Slammed An unwarranted harsh review or abusive criticism of a provider.
SO Significant Other
SOF Shit on Floor
SOG Shot On Goal (one release)
SOP Stantard Operating Procedure
Soixante neuf 69: Partners perform oral sex on each other simultaeneously.
SOMF Sat On My Face
SOP Standard Operating Procedure
South of the Border Gential Region
Southern France BBBJ
SP Service Provider
Spanish ATM Ass to Mouth
Spanish In Australia: Penis between breasts
Spinner Very petite, thin girl.
Squirting, Squirter Female ejaculation, a provider who ejaculates
SR Sky River (for Malaysia only)
SRS Sexual reassignment surgery
ST Short Time
STD Sexually Transmitted Disease
Sting A female police officer poses as a prostitute to apprehend unsuspecting johns, or a male police officer poses as a john to apprehend unsuspecting prostitutes.
STR Short Term Relationship
Street action Prostitution that is solicited on public streets. Prostitutes (usually on foot) are picked up by Johns in motor vehicles. Sexual acts may occur in the vehicle, or at another agreed upon location.
Stroll Path frequented by street walkers.
Summer Teeth Her teeth, some are there, some are not.
Sunshine, Sunny Without a condom (i.e. No raincoat)
SW Street Walker
SW Sex Worker
Sybian A mechanical sex device that is in the shape of half-barrel with a dildo attachment mounted in the middle.
SYT Sweet Young Thing
t
Take care of business Payment is made to provider. e.g. "She wanted to take care of business first"
TAMP Therapeutic Asian Massage Parlor
TCSS Talk Cock Sing Song
Teabag Man squats and dips balls in partner's mouth.
TG Transgender
TGTBT Too Good To Be True
THJ Topless Hand Job
Throne Job Self-service hand job. Refers to an establishment that doesn't offer FS. The premises will only have a large chair or "throne" for you to sit on and masturbate while the woman dances for you.
Tipping required Hidden charges, provider demands more than the advertised price in order to perform, or bargains hard for various services.
TJ Tijuana
TLL Thai Love Links (a dating website)
TLN Toda La Noche ("All the Night" in Spanish)
TOB Tug on Balls
TOFTT Take one for the team. In reference to a new, non-reviewed provider.
Took one for the team A hobbyist reviews a provider who has no (or scattered) reviews. He was ripped off, or his experience was very poor. Ostensibly, he has helped save other members of the community (the team) from making the same mistake.
TOS Take Out Service
Tossing Salad analingus
TP Tanning Parlor or Tanning Place
Translation, translator Condom i.e. "She spoke fluent french without a translator" = BBBJ
Tri-F A devotee to the "Find them, Fuck them, Forget them" strategy
Trick A sex act for money.
Trick A man who patronizes prostitutes.
Troll Rude and hideous person
Trolling Posting thinly disguised ads in a discussion forum.
Trolling The act of driving around looking for a prostitute.
TS Table Shower
TS Transexual
TTA Tight Tan Ass
Tuft Description of pubic hair.
TUMA Tongue Up My Ass
Turn tricks Prostitution
TV Transvestite
TVSW Transvestite Street Walker
Two Call System For incall locations. Your first call is to set up the time and get the general directions on where to park. Your second call is made when you arrive to get the specific address / room number.
u
Umbrella Condom.
Uncovered Without a condom.
v
VFM Value For Money.
w
WAH From Wahei: peaceful, harmonious and calm (Japanese)
WAH Wild Ass Humping
Water Sports Urination play.
Weeklies Alternative weekly newspapers. These often contain various adult service listings, including massage and escort advertisements. e.g. The Village Voice, San Francisco Bay Guardian, The Stranger.
WF Wild Fuck
WG Working girl. A prostitute.
White Knight A poster who defends or "comes to the rescue" of a provider who has been reviewed poorly, regardless of whether the review is accurate.
Whor*monger One who habitually patronizes prostitutes. See urbandictionary.com
With With condom (e.g. French with = CBJ)
Without Without condom. (e.g. French without = BBBJ)
WIR Would I Repeat, Would I Return, Would I Recommend
WL Working Lady
WOA Word of Advice
Working girl A prostitute.
WSW White Street Walker
WTF What the Fuck?
WYSIWYG Pronounced "Wizzy Wig". What You See Is What You Get. Computer Geek Speek.
x
XOXO Kisses & Hugs
y
YMMV Your Mileage May Vary (you could get different results)
YMMV Girl A provider who is known for being inconsistent in her attitude and service. i.e. Gets hot and cold reviews.
other
1/2 and 1/2 Half and half, oral sex + full service
411 Seeking information.
420 4:20 AKA marijuana
69 Two people giving each other oral sex at the same time.

 

[4North1Side2]

Cool stories, thanks.

 

[ShortyCumStain]

 

[geechiedan]

Warning: Mature Jada Posted my Car Tags / Phone # to Facebook

What a dream!

I should've heeded the warnings.

You guys told me not to see this sl-U-t.

But the little head was thinking.

She stays off Covington Hwy in a motel thats right next to Wendys.

She's a 1000 times uglier than her pics. Lots more wrinkles, no teeth.

But, she promised to do everthing I ask (a lie, she just wants the money)

So I handed off the gift so we can get down to business and that's when everything started to go wrong.

Side thought: I have come to the conclusion that most of these sl-U-ts nowadays are desperate and just want the money and will say anything. Things were not always like this. Remember Deanna and her Alabama Tonsil Bounce. Now that MILF was gold. Wish she were still in Atlanta.

Anyway, back to this hag.

As soon as she got the money she started to stall. Rummaging through her drawers, looking in her purse, real hesistant to do anything at all.

So I pulled out the member and told her to start sucking.

She asks, got a condom?

I just stare at this hag. Now you guys have read my reviews. Since when do I get CBJ. Fucking Never. Only BBBJ. Always. I won't even see a sl-U-t that doesn't swallow. To me its a waste of time. And I tell her so.

She says she doesn't do that. So I pull up my pants to leave and say fine I'll just write a bad review.

This is when she loses it.

Now she told me before she's trying hard to build up her clientle. And I can tell by the way she looks that list isn't too long. So when I threaten her business, she goes berserk.

She says, oh yeah, well I got your phone number so be careful about what you do.

I laugh and say, , that's not my real number.

So she runs outside and says, oh yeah, well I'll get your car tag number.

Now, this is very dangerous guys. With information like that this sl-U-t can do all kinds of damage to your reputation, call the wife, embarass you, on the job, even black mail your ass for money.

Luckily, I'm smart and a step ahead.

I never hobby with my real car. I always use a rental.

TEE HEE HEE HEE.

I laugh at the hag and say beeyutch go ahead. It's not my car and there aren't any tags on the car its a rental.

At this point she just looks defeated.

I honestly think this hag wanted to black mail me or something.

So I smile, hop in car, and she storms back into the room.

Another side thought: Before I take off, I honk the horn several times hoping she'll look outside the window so I can smile in her face one last time. She never did. But damn, after I honked the horn, no less that 10 sl-U-ts open up the doors and come out as if I were a john looking for some pussy. That hotel is messed up.

Anyway, on the way home she texts messages to me saying that she knows where I live and that she's going to post my phone # and car tags on Facebook.

I text back a laugh.

Beeyutch! My personal info. Is never exposed in the hobby.

Guys do not see this hag!

Any provider willing to write down tag numbers and post them is bad news for you, your family and your job.

 

[geechiedan]

This girl just ripped me off for her 100 dollar special. Her address is Port Richey. She has dark hair, curly and light acne. I got to her house, she lead me to a bedroom. Asked me to place the donation on the dresser, than told me to get comfortable. As I was getting undressed, she reached around and said she would be right back. I got naked minus the boxers. 30 seconds later, a tall white dude, and another hill billy looking kinda guy tell me to get the f out. As I was getting dressed, I told him that too bad for him, I know where he lives and I know what kinda car they drive (older style pickup truck License plate )


Sure hope nothing happens to either their car or house.

Stay away from this one. You will get ripped off.

 

[ShortyCumStain]

Post more of these stories. Better yet, post da site that you get 'em from but if it's somethin' that you gotta sign up for then forget about it, I ain't registering to shit else.

 

[Nappy_LMT]

 

[1detroitryder]

nigga need a dictionary to understand all this.

that ho quoted 2.3 with a IHHG finish but halfway got me to AHIP.

i was like damn am i The only one that doesn't understand this shit lol

 

[geechiedan]

Bait and Switch. Jenny, center city philadelphia

So I had some extra coin tonight, thought I'd give backpage a try. Never again will I visit a provider I can't verify. Met at an upscale incall in center city, go up to the room, and first thing I notice is that "Jenny" is not the girl in the picture. I normally would have just taken off, but she was somewhat similar to the ad, so I said "what the hell" and went for it.

First off, this chick must have no idea what "GFE" means because everything was covered. Secondly, and most importantly, this chick did just about everything wrong a provider could possibly do. The lame writhing on my body that's supposed to get hard, apparently, but was in reality just a bizarre, unattractive way of trying to get me aroused. I was upset that the BJ was going to have to be CBJ, but I figured I'd get my moneys worth. I had to ask 3 or 4 seperate times for her to go down, and she never did. Every time I asked it was like she didn't hear me and just kept on trying to shake her ass in my face. She seemed completely disinterested in doing anything related to the activity of completing the job.

Then, on top of that, about 35 minutes in to the 60 minute appointment she started looking at the clock and saying "hmm, we're getting close to time being up. Yeah wow, we need to stop, we're way over time here." to which I had to remind her that I still had damn near half the time left. All of this was followed by a completely pathetic and uninspired HJ, after which I simply got up, got dressed, and left without a word. If my envelope had been sitting on the table still I wouldve been tempted to take half the fee back.

Worst experience from a provider I've ever had, bar none. This might be what turns me off from the hobby for good.

$$ for the hour, wasnt worth. 1.

 

[Mr. Met]

 

[lukas james]

What the fuck is this? Trick Chronicles? Dudes going all Siskel&Ebert about prostitutes? I'm sorry,...CRACKHEAD prostitutes?
These dudes act like they're writing reviews for the Better Business Bureau. And it reads kind of like a car accident looks: I know I should move on, but it's the kind of fail I can't tear my eyes away from.

 

[djkidrich]

What the fuck is this? Trick Chronicles? Dudes going all Siskel&Ebert about prostitutes? I'm sorry,...CRACKHEAD prostitutes?
These dudes act like they're writing reviews for the Better Business Bureau. And it reads kind of like a car accident looks: I know I should move on, but it's the kind of fail I can't tear my eyes away from.