Given the current circumstances, I have to give respect to those who came out to be seen. A knigga gotta grade on a curve this week.
Sometimes, I can pull them off first pass but its usually the second and third times combing the thread when I really see what's up.
You:
All black and yellow like a lil' sexy bumblebee!
You:
Tamia's cousin or auntie or whatever. Looks like they hit this photo with a filter but she'll do.
You know she's natural because her titties are different sizes. Its cool. She'll look the same in the morning.
and YOU:
the chick that asked for the Ashanti baby hair special at the salon.
Next time, tell 'em to dial the browfros back a lil' bit. The Groucho Marx look-alike contest is next week.
(I'm talking shit but she's fine!)
And a few near Misses:
The hair. Come on. Could have passed for petite and sweet.
Instead you're an incomplete defeat. And four layers of fake eyelashes is a bit much.
She don't even need all that extra ish.
Not quite right, light bright. Not quite right.
And who in the hell does she think she is? I can't stand a snooty lookin' broad. Shades in the club?
Broad looks like she's out here celebrating her 47th birthday at 35, with them long ass grape smashers.
At least she's got her natural hair. Just gotta buy her shoes online where the drag queens shop.
Didn't know they made a size16 in men's heels. She lookin' like she drive home like the Flinstones with them feet.
She has the face of an 80s sitcom star, the tits of a 90s porn star and the hands of a 40s bare-knuckle boxer.
She look like she can square up with Kimbo Slice and go blow-for-blow with that knigga (RIP).
Other than them hands, she's cool.
And this one:
Shit. Ain't nothing really wrong with this one. Nice smile; nice hair. Minimal makeup.
A couple of extra pounds but that's expected.
Got that ponytail holder around her wrist, ready to "tail up" and hit the dance floor if you ask (and ready to suck you off in the car) Yep. Respekt.
Props, JB...as always.