Married brothers or long term relationship brothers, I need some advice on dealing with live in girlfriend.

BlackGoku

Rising Star
Platinum Member
True. But I've had roommates and lived with family. In those situations you go in knowing your range is reduced but you still have personal space. When you live with a significant other, the only private space you have is sitting on the toilet! That takes a toll on a lot of people! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

My current girlfriend is a little OCD about how things are in her kitchen and how the towels are folded and things like that. I told her that, we get married and move in together, im going to HAVE to have my own space (read: mancave). I'm not saying that i want to live like a pig and throw stuff everywhere, but I'm not going to be in a space where if I dont fold the towel right, its a big deal.
 
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BlackGoku

Rising Star
Platinum Member
Rinse, clean, and repeat :lol:

17 years for me. And when that baby came along I gave the fuck up on everything.

You should see our bedroom. My side is tidy as fuck. Her side…well like you said, cluttered. I do it that way intentionally. Makes her feel like crap at times, but she grown.

When my wife cleans, she spend hours trying to organize her clutter instead of just picking it up or throwing shit away. Then she realize she done created more of a mess. But don’t let me do it because I’m throwing shit away. Then she be mad like shit because I threw something away she wanted. :lol:

I'm the same way man..I'm not a hoarder, but I like hanging onto things and it takes me a while to clean when i do..i think this stuff might be a hereditary because my pops is a bit of a "packrat"..we were talking about that on Father's Day... :lol:
 

jack walsh13

Jack Walsh 13
BGOL Investor
Big bro bars
:roflmao2: :roflmao2: :roflmao2: :roflmao2: :roflmao2: :roflmao2:

KmTyVf.jpg
 

ANGRY MAN

Rising Star
BGOL Investor
Had 3 girls live here. All I can say is people in general don't respect money they didn't earn or property that's not in their name. If you have no intention on marrying the girl move on asap. It won't get better if she's not respecting your wishes now.

Don't care how great she is in bed or how fine.

She will resent you bringing it up "all the time" .

You will resent cleaning up after another grownup.

Fact people don’t respect money or things they didn’t earn. I live solo my old lady wants to move in, told her we can buy a house together. She hasn’t been discipline enough to fix her credit or save up for a down payment…But if it’s any new Mac make up/ perfume/ purse/heels/ sunglasses etc etc. She got bread for all of that.
 

850credit

Rising Star
BGOL Investor
Fact people don’t respect money or things they didn’t earn. I live solo my old lady wants to move in, told her we can buy a house together. She hasn’t been discipline enough to fix her credit or save up for a down payment…But if it’s any new Mac make up/ perfume/ purse/heels/ sunglasses etc etc. She got bread for all of that.

Story of my life.

They want you to do all the hard stuff. You know, the planning, thinking, saving. They just want to move in to a ready made situation and start spending.
 

DVS X

Rising Star
BGOL Investor
Ask yourself will you be able to tolerate it.

There is no woman on the planet that will satisfy your every need. There will be some areas where you’ll have to ask yourself “can I deal with this long term?”

Some people just sucks at doing certain things no matter how hard they try. If your from a life where effort and tidiness was important and you date a chick that comes from a life where that wasn’t stressed, then it’s going to be difficult for you to set those expectations that she’ll understand without you having to be patient to a degree.

Personally, some shit I just let go of completely because people are who they are. In one way, she could be a great mom, funny personality, easy to be around, but is sloppy with cleaning or doesn’t cook well.

Just ask yourself is this something you can tolerate and does this snowball into other areas. Because best believe there are aspects about you where she probably thinks you’re failing in.

Say it again, louder from the back!

Ive been with my girl 15 years and I have OCD when it comes to cleaning and repairs needed around the house, but it wasnt til last year that I finally got "it" when it comes to cleaning the kitchen after making something. Its taken me 14 years to learn how not to piss her off when it comes to the kitchen. I finally understand that when things are "out of place", it throws everything out of balance for her. Id alway leave something like a dirty fork or knife, missing the mess on the stove from seasoning food, throwing utensils and pots in different drawers or cabinets, etc... The only reason I came to understand this was because after the pandemic, Im still working from home with my tech job, while she's now out of the house most of the day at work, so that means that Im now cooking for myself. Now I understand how much it pisses her off when you just want to get in and out of the kitchen quickly but nothing is where it is suppose to be. But i can only blame myself because im the one that doesnt put things back where i found them. Strange thing is, I would crucify her if one of my tools was out of place (very rare) in the garage. But couldnt give her the same respect for the kitchen. So now I do let a lot of shit go because Id rather have my house clean the way that I want it and that takes work on my part, the same way i keep my favorite spot(the garage) in spotless condition. Ive just made peace with focusing on how i want things then to wait around or expect someone to be on the level I think they should be. If something gets to the level of having to worry about roaches or something, best believe Ill be all up in that ass.

As Gestapo as she is about the kitchen, her cleanliness when it comes to her organization of her personal area and clothes is infuriating where as my clothes are alway hung up and wrinkle free. Ive actually found a lot of women to be like this. On her end it doesnt matter because no guest ever go to that room, but I gotta see it everyday and cant understand what is so hard about it. I started leaving my clothes all over both bedrooms with the same argument, "no one will ever see it" and now she gets angry because I end up grabbing her stuff and putting it in my laundry basket. So now she has to better organize her stuff so that i dont get it confused with hers :yes:...Shes not perfect but has now been better about keeping her spots clean because she can see that I stopped doing the one thing that was pissing her off. Just having an effort to do better is fine with me for now.

My boy was dating this Thai girl... perfect girl in my eyes.. but they broke up because he felt the house was always dirty because of her(probably because she spent most of her time making 3 meals a day for both of them... every day without complaint.) So he got rid of her. The next girl he got with kept his house spic-and-span. She kept it real clean so those other Ni66as she invited over during the day felt more comfortable getting they dicks sucked in a clean environment. The Thai girl got pregnant in her next relationship, but the dude committed suicide before the kid was born. So now my boy really wants her back but the baby is the way because he doesnt want to be a step dad. Hes really bitter because he knows his pettiness wrecked both of their lives and theres no fixing it. He traded away 80% of what was good for him expecting there to be a bigger prize behind door number 2. So be careful taking others advice who are just cool with throwing away the time (possibly years or decades) youve invested in getting along with a significant other.
 

4 Dimensional

Rising Star
Platinum Member
Say it again, louder from the back!

Ive been with my girl 15 years and I have OCD when it comes to cleaning and repairs needed around the house, but it wasnt til last year that I finally got "it" when it comes to cleaning the kitchen after making something. Its taken me 14 years to learn how not to piss her off when it comes to the kitchen. I finally understand that when things are "out of place", it throws everything out of balance for her. Id alway leave something like a dirty fork or knife, missing the mess on the stove from seasoning food, throwing utensils and pots in different drawers or cabinets, etc... The only reason I came to understand this was because after the pandemic, Im still working from home with my tech job, while she's now out of the house most of the day at work, so that means that Im now cooking for myself. Now I understand how much it pisses her off when you just want to get in and out of the kitchen quickly but nothing is where it is suppose to be. But i can only blame myself because im the one that doesnt put things back where i found them. Strange thing is, I would crucify her if one of my tools was out of place (very rare) in the garage. But couldnt give her the same respect for the kitchen. So now I do let a lot of shit go because Id rather have my house clean the way that I want it and that takes work on my part, the same way i keep my favorite spot(the garage) in spotless condition. Ive just made peace with focusing on how i want things then to wait around or expect someone to be on the level I think they should be. If something gets to the level of having to worry about roaches or something, best believe Ill be all up in that ass.

As Gestapo as she is about the kitchen, her cleanliness when it comes to her organization of her personal area and clothes is infuriating where as my clothes are alway hung up and wrinkle free. Ive actually found a lot of women to be like this. On her end it doesnt matter because no guest ever go to that room, but I gotta see it everyday and cant understand what is so hard about it. I started leaving my clothes all over both bedrooms with the same argument, "no one will ever see it" and now she gets angry because I end up grabbing her stuff and putting it in my laundry basket. So now she has to better organize her stuff so that i dont get it confused with hers :yes:...Shes not perfect but has now been better about keeping her spots clean because she can see that I stopped doing the one thing that was pissing her off. Just having an effort to do better is fine with me for now.

My boy was dating this Thai girl... perfect girl in my eyes.. but they broke up because he felt the house was always dirty because of her(probably because she spent most of her time making 3 meals a day for both of them... every day without complaint.) So he got rid of her. The next girl he got with kept his house spic-and-span. She kept it real clean so those other Ni66as she invited over during the day felt more comfortable getting they dicks sucked in a clean environment. The Thai girl got pregnant in her next relationship, but the dude committed suicide before the kid was born. So now my boy really wants her back but the baby is the way because he doesnt want to be a step dad. Hes really bitter because he knows his pettiness wrecked both of their lives and theres no fixing it. He traded away 80% of what was good for him expecting there to be a bigger prize behind door number 2. So be careful taking others advice who are just cool with throwing away the time (possibly years or decades) youve invested in getting along with a significant other.

My wife and I have a system when it comes to the kitchen. She cooks and I clean it. It’s the least I can do for someone that takes the time to prep and cook a meal to feed the fam.

Sounds like your homie fucked up a good thing. I can let a lot of shit go for a woman that can throw down in the kitchen.

Im glad you came to a realization with your wife. Takes a lot of ego to set aside to see yourself and how you effect others. That’s says a lot about the human you are. Props.
 

ANGRY MAN

Rising Star
BGOL Investor
Story of my life.

They want you to do all the hard stuff. You know, the planning, thinking, saving. They just want to move in to a ready made situation and start spending.

Yup.. Before I bought my house, I told my little play brother. Shorty wants us to get a house together. He said “How is she helping you get a house” really think about it. Is she putting money to the side for a down payment. What’s her credit score, is she looking on Zillow. Every answer was a no, that’s when he said she not helping you get a house. She want you to do the hard work and move in.

As far as my nephew mother I watch her and her boyfriend move back in with her mother for one year. You talking 6 people in a townhouse. They saved up 100k that year together, man the house they own now is huge! They been married now for 10 years.
 

850credit

Rising Star
BGOL Investor
I was taught to do it all domestically so I wouldn't have to depend on a woman for those things. That's been to my detriment cause girls feel like they don't have to do shit around here. Never again.

Responsibilities do need to be meted out from day one or some type of system installed. I've had women living here with no job that didn't cook or clean, or not to my liking. Fucking ain't enough. Gets tiresome quickly working all day, coming home and you still on the couch where I left you, no food for me and I gotta vaccum, dust, do the kitchen etc cause you won't do it.

I want to try again one day but it'll be years from now. I enjoy my life as it is for now.
 

Texas Catdaddy

the omnipotent one .....
Platinum Member
Rinse, clean, and repeat :lol:

17 years for me. And when that baby came along I gave the fuck up on everything.

You should see our bedroom. My side is tidy as fuck. Her side…well like you said, cluttered. I do it that way intentionally. Makes her feel like crap at times, but she grown.

When my wife cleans, she spend hours trying to organize her clutter instead of just picking it up or throwing shit away. Then she realize she done created more of a mess. But don’t let me do it because I’m throwing shit away. Then she be mad like shit because I threw something away she wanted. :lol:

sounds like my house .....
 
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